《When We Were Young [H.S.]》Epilogue. Matterhorn
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"Come on, keep up," Wednesday shouted over her shoulder, smiling excitedly as the gravel under her hiking boots crunched.
"Can I just have a moment to catch my breath please?" Harry pleaded breathlessly from behind her.
She looked back to him, seeing him pull his inhaler from his pocket and take a long drag, filling his lungs with as much as he could take before holding it for a few seconds. He breathed out, looking much more relaxed than a moment before as the ability to fully breathe came back to him. Wednesday couldn't help but grin at his reddened face, the tip of his nose close to the colour of his lips.
Stroking one of the curls poking out of the thick beanie back beneath the material, she smiled at him, seeing the cloud of white condensation coming from her mouth in the sharply cold temperature.
"It's not too far now, just over that last incline," she pointed to the slope in the distance.
He looked to the sky, shielding his eyes with his hand as he checked the position of the sun. "Do you think we'll make it in time?"
"If you get a move on and stop whinging, yeah."
"Heeeey," he replied, rubbing his hand under his nose as he tried to hide his smile. "I can't help it if I have asthma. I'd say managing to last two hours hiking up here without having to use it once is a pretty big achievement in itself."
"It is, you're right," she agreed, stepping forward to press a quick kiss to his lips and wiggling her nose when she met the cold skin of his face. "Your nose is bloody freezing."
"I mean it is like 3 degrees up here," he said, looking around at the deserted, iced over landscape.
She shot him a smile before looking ahead to the rest of the trail, grabbing onto her backpack handles as she breathed out.
"Ready?" she asked over her shoulder.
"Ready."
They continued on the gravelly, uneven trail in the bitingly cold atmosphere. Everything up here was as she remembered it, even with the years that had passed, and it felt strangely like coming home. Returning back to somewhere that had only ever gifted her with immense amounts of joy and awe.
A bud of excitement grew in her stomach at the thought of being back in her happy place. Making her even more excited was the fact that she was finally bringing Harry to see it too. To bask in the joy of the beauty and sights that awaited them. It had been a long time coming. Since the first moment she'd mentioned it, they'd always discussed it in plans for the future, putting it high on their list of things to do as a couple. Because it was important to her, it was important to him. He was always wanting to understand every part of her, unravel something new each day that he didn't know before.
After nearly 17 years, she was still a game of pass the parcel, each layer he peeled revealing something new. Only, she was never-ending. A constant well of discovery that he loved unpicking. This was just one of the bigger parts of her that he wanted to indulge in for himself. Understanding her loves and the things that excited her meant understanding her even further. And he wouldn't turn down any opportunity to know her just that bit better, no matter how much he could already read her like a book.
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Using her hands to grip onto the large stones on the steep climb up the slope, an excited smile appeared on her face as the anticipation of being only a few steps away hit her.
"Nearly there," she chimed, hearing his ragged breaths as he followed her movements.
"Considering how much you don't enjoy climbing walls," he said, a hint of struggle in his voice. "You're extremely good at scaling up a mountain."
"Don't be fooled," she said over her shoulder. "I slipped on my arse when I came with Zara the first time and ended up sliding down an entire slope to the bottom. Wasn't my finest moment. I must have just remembered how to tackle it this time around."
"Yeah, well I think I'm one bad step away from doing the same," he huffed behind her, but she couldn't focus on his struggles.
She was focusing on the top of the slope coming into view quickly, three more steps away. At this point, the climb was virtually vertical, and the high altitude meant that she was beginning to get dizzy if she moved her head too fast. Grabbing onto anything she could for leverage, she pulled and dug her boots into the shale. And with one last pull and step, the view she'd been waiting for was presented to her in all of its glory.
Standing with widened eyes and an explosion of nostalgic happiness, she realised that nothing had changed. She'd worried that over the years her memories of the location had started to dim, and for the bits that weren't as clear, she'd begun to fill them in with something fake. Something shinier and more interesting, until they weren't real anymore. Just an illusion of what she desperately wanted it to be.
But standing there, under the lowering sun, she realised that if anything, her memories hadn't done the view justice enough.
Harry stepped up beside her a moment later, looking out to the view with ragged breaths.
"Wow," he breathed out quietly, in awe of what was staring back at him.
Down the grassy rough path that led from the slope was a shoreline full of grey, rocky shale, in stark contrast against the pure azure blue of the small lake it surrounded. It wasn't a big lake by any means, barely stretching out a mile. But it was big enough to leave them both in awe of the scene, picturesquely idyllic against the yellow of the wild daffodils in the grass and the patches of white snow coating the slopes.
But the real wonder came from what was beyond the lake. Standing out amongst the rolling surrounding mountains, was the snow-covered peak of Matterhorn mountain. Pointed out slightly to the left, it towered above the curves and crevices of the other smaller whitened slopes. Painted against the blue sky that was melting into pink, it looked majestic. Breath-taking. They were mere dwarves in comparison to the towering natural phenomenon.
As Jane Austen had once said: "what are men to rocks and mountains?"
Maybe that was why Wednesday had always been drawn to the incomprehensible aspects of the world. Matterhorn, the stars, sunsets. All these grand, indescribable things were so big in their own right that they made her feel small. A tiny dot in the mark of the world. A flicker of energy in a bulb that never went out. In her hardest moments, they'd reminded her just how small she was. And in turn, how small her problems were. Where logic failed, nature could provide.
She liked the feeling of being reminded that everything was so much bigger than her. It gave her a sense of comfort. To some people, it might have been their worst nightmare, reminding them of their own insignificance. But not her. There was something soothing about knowing that her problems and her life were really no different to anyone else's. At least not from the viewing point of the stars and the sunsets and the mountains. She would exist on this earth for her allotted time and when it was up, she would be scattered over the soil to breath fresh life into the surrounding nature.
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People are scared of being insignificant. Of not being remembered in the way that those few in history are. Cleopatra, Shakespeare, Einstein. Names that last through generations and lifetimes. People associate being remembered with a legacy that counts. Being remembered by the masses means you've done something right—or extremely wrong. But eventually, time would even wash away the legacy of those figures. In life, nothing lasts. Not fame, not memories, not even history. It will all fade away eventually. And she liked that.
She liked knowing that for her time one earth, she'd have done the best she could have. She'd loved fully and lived fully. And for a time, she would be remembered. But not by nameless, faceless people who only knew her by name, or by a photo. She would be remembered by the people she loved, and that was all she wanted. The memory of her would live and die with those people, and those people would live in the memory of others through the same cycle of life. After all, our worth is measured in the impact we have on the people we love.
Looking up to the mountain, she felt small. But feeling small wasn't a bad thing. It was sobering and grounding and eye-opening. It reminded her of just how lucky she was to have made it. Some people didn't get that kind of luck.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" she said gently, her gaze not leaving the frosted mountain side.
"I didn't realise it would look so close to us," he observed.
For a minute, they just stood there lapping up the beauty of the view. It was so peacefully calm up there, so far away from society or people. Just the mountains and the sky and them.
Looking back to the dangerously steep slope back down behind them, she grabbed his glove covered hand and tugged him forward lightly to follow her trail.
"Come on, let's get away from this drop and sit by the lake."
He followed without argument, their boots meeting the grassy path to the shoreline. She walked to the water's edge, peering over to see her reflection in the crystal-clear blue water.
"Do you know that Switzerland has around 7000 lakes?" she asked absentmindedly, looking down to the calm ripples of the water.
Squatting down, she took off her glove and flicked her fingers into the fresh water. It was icily cold, what with it being so far up in the clouds, but it didn't stop the idea that formulated in her head.
"Nice fact," he replied, coming to stand beside her with a grin. "Anymore?"
"Ummm," she thought aloud, sitting down on the shale a bit further away. "If you can see to the bottom of the lake, people here deem the water safe enough to drink."
"Good to know," he nodded, looking to her with a confused expression as he watched her pull the boots from her feet. "What are you doing?"
"Taking my boots off idiot, what else does it look like?"
Placing the boots to the side on the rocks, she shrugged off her backpack and leant it against them, before rolling her thick woolly socks down from her feet. She shivered at the rush of cool air against the exposed skin, but she was too excited for it to truly have any effect on her.
"Yeah, thanks Einstein, I gathered that. I meant why the fuck are you taking your boots and socks off when it's literally about 4 degrees up here?"
She didn't answer. At least, not with words.
Shooting him a knowing smile, she began to step forward, closer and closer to the waters edge. Holding her breath for the initial feeling of shock, she looked down and stepped into the lake, coldness blanketing her entire foot like a thousand pins entering her at once. Before she could back out with only one foot taking the hit, she stepped forward until both of them were submerged into the azure water up to her ankles.
Adjusting to the cold temperature, she wiggled her toes around on the pebbles underneath her feet. And then, she took another cautious step forward, letting the water rise another inch on her leg.
"Is that water not absolutely freezing?" Harry asked, concern painting his entire face as he stepped as close to her as he could without entering the water himself.
"Yeah, it's quite cold," she breathed out with a smile, keeping her toes wiggling under the water.
He looked to her like she'd just told him she believed the earth was flat, his lips pursed as he narrowed his eyes at her. "So if it's freezing cold...why are you in there?"
"Because," she shrugged, looking back to Matterhorn across the water and feeling so connected to everything that it was hard not to feel overwhelmed with gratitude. "It's grounding."
Though she wasn't looking at Harry, she already knew the face he was making. One twisted in pure confusion, his lips parted and maybe quirked at the corners in slight amusement at her sudden mother Theresa-like display of serenity.
"Come again?" he asked.
Rolling her eyes and cutting the appreciation of the feeling short, she turned back to him.
"Grounding yourself into nature. You know, taking your shoes off and letting them feel the grass, the earth, the water. It's called grounding."
"Rightttt," he said, drawing out in the word in disbelief. "And yet you say I'm the hippie."
Kicking her foot out to him lightly to splash water near his feet, a laugh escaped her lips.
"It's a thing! Google it. Apparently, it's meant to be good for your health, or something along those lines." She stared at him with narrowed eyes, tilting her head. "Aren't you supposed to be the king of knowing and trying out every holistic healing method going?"
"Doing hot yoga and the occasional juice cleanse doesn't make me some sort of zen master," he snorted, shaking his head.
"You'd enjoy it if you tried it," she said, raising her brows at him.
"No, I wouldn't."
"Yes, you would."
"I'm sorry that I see absolutely nothing enjoyable about standing in freezing degree ice water with pointy rocks digging into my feet."
"Pussy," she mumbled under her breath.
"What was that?" Harry asked, eyebrows raised challengingly.
"Nothing!" she said back, louder this time. "I think you'd like it though, in all honesty. Look, it doesn't even feel that cold anymore."
She kicked her feet around in the water, knowing fine well that statement was a lie. But she knew she was close to cracking him, and she wasn't prepared to let him win the debate.
Harry's eyes dropped to where her feet were placed, eyeing her unsurely like he was trying to weigh up the pros and cons.
"It just looks far too cold," he observed, brows knitted tightly together as he gripped the handles of his backpack.
She turned around, releasing a long, embellished sigh for the purpose of him hearing it.
"It's fine, you don't need to come in if you don't want to gain the full Matterhorn experience. It's okay. Zara would have done it again if she was here with me, but she's just that kind of person, I guess. Fearless."
She bit her lip as the corners of her mouth curved up in amusement, the silence saying everything she needed to hear behind her. Harry was stubborn, like her, and if there was one thing neither of them could back down from, it was a challenge. Bringing another person into the discussion was the final spark she needed to light the flame inside of him, and when she heard him grumble under his breath a few seconds later, the stones crunching under his boots as he moved around, she let a victoriously sneaky smile grace her face completely.
A moment later, he came into the view of her peripheral vision and she looked over to see him hesitantly looking down at the water with pursed lips, his feet bare and his trousers rolled up to his calves.
"Just step in quickly. The cold feels worse when you take your time," she advised.
He swallowed and nodded, seemingly gearing himself up for the shock before stepping both feet quickly into the water, letting it come to his lower calf. Instantly, he sucked in a breath and groaned like an animal in pain, his whole body tensing.
"Holy fucking fuck, that's cold."
"Wiggle your toes around, it helps," Wednesday said, looking over to him with a calm smile that was a world away from his wide eyed, on edge expression.
"What would help me right now would be running out of here and putting my socks and boots straight back on," he grumbled, though she noticed him doing exactly as she said through the clear water, digging his toes into the pebbles and smaller rocks below.
"Doesn't it feel nice though?" she asked, letting her head roll back as she closed her eyes.
Life had been so hectic recently. Not a bad kind of hectic by any means—she loved the fast pace, throwing herself into so many new, exciting and scary projects, but she was still trying to balance it all out as well as she could. These days, her free time was often taken up with planning uni assignments, or being with Harry, or thinking of the next time she would be in the studio and what new ideas she could bring to the table. It wasn't often she had moments like this, even when the tour was still happening. Moments of clarity and peace. Nothing but her and nature and a clear, empty mind.
Sometimes, she liked the noise of busyness. But other times, she loved the quiet. Today, it was the latter.
"So, what am I supposed to be doing here?" Harry asked beside her, looking down with a puzzled glance to his submerged feet.
Rolling her eyes, she looked over at him.
"Nothing. Just push your feet into the ground and let them feel everything. The rocks, the water. Look around you at all of the beauty, listen to the birds in the distance. It's all about engaging your senses, feeling connected to the earth."
Maybe the idea of grounding was some type of hippy fad. But she swore she could feel the energy at work, the connection between her and the ground beneath her. And maybe that was in her head—a feeling she got because she wanted to feel it. But it didn't make it any less real. She loved the sensation of water running around her ankles, or sand squishing between her toes. Even the feeling of laying back into freshly cut grass, running her fingers through the fresh blades. Regardless of whether it was a fad or not, there was something healing and powerful about nature that couldn't be denied.
She looked to the peak of Matterhorn, seeing that it was already starting to pinken with the lowering sun. A twinge of emotion stirred in her chest at the sight, the one she'd waited so long to see once again.
"Look," she said to Harry, nodding in the direction of where her eyes were glued. "It's starting. The sun is setting."
She watched as his eyes gazed upon the pinkened tip of the mountain, painting the snow in a warm watermelon shade. And as she recognised that familiar look of awe, his face relaxing as he took in the beauty of it all, she reached out to hook her finger around his.
They stood in silence, letting their eyes trail over every inch of the view before them. The beam of sun behind the mountain, the darkening lake, the contrast of colours—greens against whites against pinks against blues.
They were finally there. Together.
"Come on," she said, realising that if she stayed in the water any longer, she'd be at serious risk of losing a toe or three from frostbite. "I think you've done more than enough grounding."
She grinned in amusement at him as she stepped out from the water, the cold air immediately whipping at her ankles. He followed after her, both of them walking back to their piled possessions and sitting down onto the grassy edge, shaking the water from their feet before slipping the socks and boots back on.
They remained sat down, leant against a large boulder to keep them propped up. Wednesday opened her bag, finding the flask she'd brought along and unscrewing it to let the steam from the warm tea rise up and heat her face.
"You've got to be kidding me," Harry observed, an amused smirk on his face as his eyes darted between the flask and her. "You brought tea with you up a mountain? You really don't help the stereotypes, you know that?"
"Do you want some or not?" she asked pointedly, ignoring his insults.
He bit the corner of his lip, still smiling. "Well yeah—"
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