《Being Badass》Chapter 22
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"You're shitting me right now." I say In anger and disbelief.
"You are fucking shitting me. Why?" I shout while standing up and throwing my arms up.
I storm out way too dramatically, like I always do, and walk downstairs without waiting for an answer.
As soon as I'm downstairs I just flop to the floor, laying on my back and looking up at the ceiling.
After a few moments I sit up and scream at the top of my lungs, taking a knife from it's holder around my leg. I throw it at the wall and narrowly missed Cayde's face.
"Be careful, idiot." He says playfully before running over and tackling me.
"Get off me you heavy fuck." I laugh while trying to push him off of me.
"Nooooooo." He whines while putting his full body weight on me.
I sit there and think for a moment. "Ohhh, bad positioning dude." I think to myself with a smirk before shoving my knee upwards. Yeah I cruel I know.
Okay but really it wasn't that hard.
**Don't know if all of you are chill with language but just in case imma put a tiny language warning here**
"Owwwwwww you fucking cunt ass bitch. God damn you're a fuckin' asshole." he shouts while holding his pride and rolling on the floor.
It was at this moment that I could not help but laugh my ass off.
Obviously hearing the yelling Xavier and a few others rush downstairs and see the nice display going on.
Xavier visibly winces. "Dylan, you're a great girl and all, but that's not even nice."
I let out one last laugh. "He wouldn't get his fat ass off of me."
"That doesn't mean you get to do that!" Cayde yells still on the floor.
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"Okay, one, now you're just being dramatic so get your ass up off the floor, dude. Two, why not?" I ask in a sweet voice.
"You don't have a dick, so you can't touch one!" Xavier, Cayde, and the other boys say in unison.
I look over at Xavier. I'm feeling extra devilish right now so I give him a nice innocent look.
"I can't even touch one?"
His face goes a little red before he corrects his 'mistake'.
"Hit one. One can't hit or knee or do anything to hurt a mans stuff." He says, trying to avoid the looks he was getting from everyone else.
"Why can't I again?" I ask.
"Because you don't have one." Cayde groans while getting up off the floor.
"Says who?" I say, teasing them.
"Says me." Cayde says.
At that Dustin raises a finger into the air, "I also say so."
I laugh and roll my eyes. "For real guys? Do I need to prove it?" I playfully ask while grabbing at the waistband of my bottoms, threatening to pull them down.
"No." Xavier says sternly while taking a few steps forward so that he's inches away from me. He gently but firmly grabs my wrists and pulls my hands away from my waistband. " That will not be necessary."
He turns back to face D and Cayde but still gently keeps hold of one of my wrists. "Now what was that about your mother."
With those words everything in the room grew uncomfortably silent.
"Well, for starters, she's hella mad." Dustin says in a nonchalant tone
"Well I wonder why?" I say very sarcastically remembering the confidential information the we openly released.
"That's really all I know. I don't know why she's coming or what she intends to do, but I do know she's on her way and she's not happy." Dustin says before taking a deep breath and letting out a large sigh.
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"Well fuck dude!" I say exasperated while raising both my arms and placing my hands on my head.
"You know what, it's whatever." I say while shrugging my shoulders. "But you know what." I say, thinking of something very important. "All of us need to pick a room and clean it good. And if you finish before she gets here, find another room." I say with a stern look to everyone standing in front of me.
They all begin to groan, Cayde even slumps to the floor. And he's supposed to be the oldest.
"Now!" I yell while clapping my hands. "Chop chop dudes."
They still are refusing to move.
"Finish and I'll buy everyone ice cream." I sigh.
That gets them moving. Cayde adds a little squeal of approval before running out to get started.
Once I'm pretty sure everyone has gotten to work I flop onto the floor and lay on my back. I'm just about to close my eyes when a face appears right in front of mine.
I can't help but scream and attempt to shoot up before I knock heads with the person who scared the shit out of me in the first place.
"God damnit, Xavier." I groaned while holding my forehead.
"Serves you right you sneak." He says while laughing and holding his own head. "Come on, you have to clean too."
"But why?" I ask with a pouty face.
"1. Because it's your house. 2. Because you can't make other people do all the work you ass. And 3. Because I said so." He says with a hint or sarcasm throughout his entire statement.
"1. Yea I know. 2. Why not? And 3. Like that could make me do anything." I say while standing up and laughing.
With that he shoves me up the stairs.
"Go clean your room. I'll work on the guest room." He says while still pushing me.
I quickly duck away and send him stumbling into a wall.
I am laughing so hard that I think I might piss myself because of his stupid ass.
"Yea yea, ha ha go get to work." He grumbles while shuffling away.
:::::::::::
Finally I decide that my room looks halfway decent before shoving all of my extra stuff that I dont know where to put under my bed.
Just then Xavier walks in and gives an approving nod before stopping abruptly.
"What? This is the nicest its looked just about ever." I said while sitting on my bed with a huff.
He doesnt say anything and just points to a chair in the corner of my room.
"What about it?" I ask innocently.
"Theres clothes piled on it." He says.
"Yea. Too dirty for my closet, too clean to wash." I say with a shrug. He simply rolls his eyes and starts to walk over too me when the sound if a doorbell interrupts him.
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