I returned to the camp in silence, a sickening feeling in my stomach. I didn't know what to feel, full-stop. I was so conflicted and, fortunate to Pan, I was lost. I wondered how long this feeling would last - and if it would ever end. But in Neverland, time stood still and ironically, I had all the time in the universe to figure out Pan's game. Speak of the devil...

"There you are, love," Pan smirked, walking towards me from the opposite side. "Had a nice talk with the fish?"

My eyes snapped open and my stomach twisted - everything today...I kept myself hidden, I made sure I wasn't being tracked, so how did he even know? "Don't look so surprised. I have eyes and ears everywhere. I thought you knew that by now. " I rolled back my lips as he approached me, standing mere inches from myself. "Give me my dagger," he sneered, cold and hard. I wondered if he still held any feelings for me - or whether they had simple evaporated like the salt in the ocean. Oh shut up, Serena, that's just Killian and the mermaids getting to you. He just wants his weapon back and technically, I did steal it.

"Don't you trust me?" I said innocently, smiling and trying to...calm him, but his bland eyes stared back at me, his jaw clenched and perfectly stiff like stoned sculpture. He started chuckling, taking the tip of my chin in his thumb and pointer-finger, tilting my head upwards just a tad.

"Of course," he said, grinning down at me before dropping his hand, turning on his heels and heading towards the weaponry stand. "Until Baelfire is a boy, I'll be training the boys here everyday."

"Are we preparing for a war?" I said with a laugh, not taking my own question seriously. Pan grabbed a crossbow, eying it carefully as he lifted it.

"Of sorts, love."

"With whom?" I asked, half-agitated that he was refusing to tell me any information. Surely he can't be angry that I slept in my old cabin last night. "Peter, tell me."

"It doesn't concern you," he charmed, raising an eyebrow as he placed the crossbow back down, leaning against the nearest tree with folded arms.

I sternly walked up to him, my fists balled and chest heaving with breaths. I felt so small compared to him, but I didn't care - I never have.

"What the hell is your problem? Don't you care enough to -?"

"I care more than enough," he snapped, standing up straight and eying me down. "And that's exactly why I'm-"

"Keeping things from me?" I butted in, clenching my jaw. "Remember what I said last time?"

"Oh, is that a threat?" he chuckled, clearly amused at this argument we were having. "Hold your tongue," he said, his smirk fading. I kept my place, eying him down just as much as he was doing to me, and I thought about how things were beginning to change. Just as I was about to place my hand on his cheek, his hand snapped up and grabbed my wrist, a gasp suddenly escaping my lips. The hold was strong - almost painful - but I didn't try to pull away and nor did I wince. With eyes as poisonous as a snake's venom, he glared into mine, leaning his head down slightly.

"Don't use my mercy as a privilege," he sneered quietly and I blinked, gulping down the dryness in my throat. He couldn't even said the word love. He said bloody mercy. I nodded in defeat, refusing to let the tears fall as my eyes began to water. Letting go of my hand, he placed a rough kiss against my forehead and walked away, his back to mine. As soon as his body had disappeared, I fell to my knees and placed my hands against my face, beginning to cry. The pain in my chest - oh how it ached... It felt as if I was being burned alive and that my rib cage was crushing, stopping me from breathing properly. The tears fell beyond my control and I didn't move my hands - I wanted to keep my pain hidden, like my hands were some sort of mask.

But it was clear that I was breaking from within.

+++

I pulled myself together and found Ethan not-too far away from the camp. I ran into him by accident, the boy picking berries quietly. When he heard my footsteps, he looked up and brushed the berry juice from his hands and got to his feet.

"You alright?" he asked, awkwardly standing in front of me. I rolled back my lips and gulped again, nodding but not verbally replying. Ethan simply walked up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder before turning back around and picking up the basket of berries. "All of the boys just started training with Pan," he said, changing the topic. I nodded again.

"Yeah, I know. Why aren't you with them?" I didn't ask cruelly but rather with concern. I had a feeling Pan wouldn't like to know someone skipping his training sessions. Ethan shrugged, taking a sigh.

"Didn't feel like it today."

"And they let you come out here?"

"Not exactly." Oh no.

"Ethan!" I exclaimed, my stomach dropping. "You have to go back."

"I can't," he whimpered and I narrowed my eyes, glaring at him.

"And why not?" I snapped but he didn't reply: he kept his gaze fixated on the berries. This overwhelming silence filled the air, weaving itself through our mouths and loud minds like a demon. Ethan had been acting perfectly fine these last couple of days and he was one of our smartest fighters - why was he so timid all of a sudden? It didn't make any sense to me and he wasn't answering. "Ethan, you need to go back," I said impatiently, blinking a couple of times and I hoped that the redness in my eyes was gone.

"You don't understand."

"Then help me to understand! I'm not like Pan."

"But you're on his side."

"You're on our side," I snapped, but I hid my shock. I was taken aback at his remark. I'm on his side...what did he mean? Was he rebelling against Pan? This wasn't the Ethan I knew - it was far from it and it made no sense to me.

"No, I'm not," and with that, he leaped forward with a bloodthirsty expression, swinging his dagger and missing my face my a few inches. I screamed, my back ramming into the tree behind me. I scanned my belt for Pan's dagger and that's when I realised Pan had retaken it somehow, but that was the least of my problems. I was weaponless against a raging lost boy and would probably die at any moment if I lost concentration.

I kicked my foot up by instinct as he leaped again, causing his body to skid across the ground and land horridly close to a bush of nightshade thorns. I looked around anxiously, desperately looking for something to arm myself with: a twig, a vine, anything...but there was nothing. Even the basket of berries had vanished.

So I turned on my heels and started to run, my eyes wide with fear as I desperately tried to escape. It was pathetic, running away helplessly, but I didn't have a choice. I could hear Ethan's unnatural cackles, his crazy sneer and footsteps as he ran behind me, and those noises were enough to frighten me. I jumped over the trees, quickly weaving myself through the forest and turned at sudden corners, but with every step I took, Ethan followed my trail immaculately.

And that's when I suddenly rammed into a body, but they expected the impact, automatically wrapping their arms around me and catching my body as I fell into them. With a single inhale, I knew it was Pan and I tried to pull away, my arms pushing against his chest, but it did nothing.

"Hey, hey, you're okay now, love," he cooed and my bottom lip trembled. My hands were shaking from the fear and the adrenaline and I was beginning to feel my legs shake as well. What was going on? My frightened self hadn't been in the comfort of Pan's embrace since the lost boy slaughter and as much as I wanted to cry and break down, I carefully turned myself in his arms to face the unexpected.

James and Aiden held Ethan by his arms, a wildness in the boy's eyes. He looked mad - crazy, and I was upset by it...because I didn't understand. Felix appeared, walking into the scene with a gaze so serious I wondered if it would cut my soul in half, just like the scar tainting the side of his face. Pan kept his arms around me but by his strength...I could tell that it wasn't comfort. His arms were acting as prison bars, constraining me for some reason. And that's when I realised why.

Within a second, Felix unsheathed his dagger and stabbed Ethan, the boy letting out a loud gasp as the weapon pierced his skin.

"NO!" I cried out, trying to run forward and to - somehow - save Ethan. He doesn't deserve death! Something's happened to him, he's innocent! But I couldn't do a single thing to try and stop him from dying before my eyes. Ethan fell to the ground, emotionless, with the dagger in Felix's hand dripping blood - Ethan's blood, innocent blood.

Tears fell from my eyes once again, my mouth gaping at the dead boy. All of the memories I had with Ethan flashed through my mind and my chest ached just as it had done today already...

This was Pan's command.

And the blood of the innocent pooled at Pan's feet.