I didn't hesitate to sleep- in longer than usual the next morning, and for whatever reason, nobody had fetched for me, even though I was supposedly considered second-in-command. That title was beginning to fade – I could feel it, mainly because it was so easy for me to be disregarded.

And I personally thank Pan for that.

What I mean is – the boys look up to Pan. He's undefeatable, smart, a strategist and rightfully holds his place on Neverland.

When Pan traded me, he gave up my authority and, in all honesty, I didn't care. Despite time not moving, it was a thing of a past.

After getting changed, I snuck into the camp (only the twins were there, sharpening their daggers: the rest of the lost boys, including Pan, were out doing something I wasn't aware of) and snagged myself an apple. I wasn't overly hungry and I knew a simple fruit would suffice.

At first, I didn't know what I was going to but as I started walking away from the camp, I realised that I hadn't yet explored the island.

So I was going to do just that.

I walked around aimlessly while eating at my vibrant-red apple, not really paying attention to anything. Yes, the sky shone above and the trees flailed with the occasional breeze, but nothing caught my attention.

I loved how...weirdly homely Neverland felt and as I walked through the jungle, I'd skid my hand across the flowers and trees. I couldn't remember where I had come from, and I wondered that, if I knew, would I want to leave this island?

I doubted it and so, I furthered my exploration and started climbing the nearest tree. I struggled for a while, my foot slipping now and then but I got a grasp on it soon enough, climbing naturally until I reached the top. I smiled to myself, looking over the top of the jungle and seeing how vast Neverland was. Birds flew above, clouds crackling with thunder began rolling in, the trees swaying in one motion, the ocean rolling in the distance.

I sat in awe, taking in the breeze and the beauty, enabling myself to forget my worries for the time being.

Carefully, I slid myself back down onto the forest floor and changed paths, seeing where the island would take me. But then I heard the chant of the lost boys and I quickly hid behind the nearest tree, surprised at my action. I'm not being hunted and they sure as hell won't kill me...what am I doing? I thought to myself, watching cautiously, but I didn't move.

Pan, James and Logan waltzed into the premise, Pan, of course, leading them at the front...and they were all silent. I held my breath, rolling back my lips as I remained hidden. This is my day. I'm going to let any of them take that away from me – not even Pan.

And just like that, they left without noticing me and I couldn't help but smirk, jogging in the opposite direction. Once I felt as if I had cleared enough distance, I started walking slowly, enabling myself to focus on my little adventure.

Leaning down, I bush of sorts caught my eyes: black leaves, white roses and black thorns that oozed with thick liquid. White roses, not again.

The flower seemed to keep making a reappearance but this time, it intrigued me more so than the others. These white roses were scattered against darkness and that's when I saw a rose that had been tainted with the black goop.

I watched as a drop slowly fell from its petals, landing on the ground before my feet. But the dreamshade was latching onto the rose and sinking into its petals, permanently tainting it forever. My smile dropped and I got to my feet, pathetically thinking to myself, they're just flowers, get over yourself, Serena.

And so, I started my trail again, my fingers hovering over Pan's blade that I had - technically - stolen. I wasn't intending on using it but instead, examine it.

I breached the jungle and found myself standing at Mermaid's Lagoon, sighing in agitation. Really? Out of all places...

But I wasn't going to trek for another spot. With the boulders and ocean, it seemed fine...as long as the mermaids kept out of it.

I sat myself down on one of the rocks, crossing my legs and unsheathing Pan's blade. My thumb moved across the handle that showed obvious signs of use, but that wasn't what I was concerned of. I was worried about the dried blood.

Pan wasn't a killer. At least, that's what I told myself. He wasn't the bad guy – he was simply a lost boy...right?

"Very wrong."

I thought it was my own voice...until I saw Aquata swimming towards me. I groaned, about to get myself up until she cut me off. "I wouldn't leave if I were you, not if you want answers." Of course she'd blackmail me. I held the dagger in my hands, watching her reach me; she bobbed in the water at my feet. "You do realise I'm on your side, right?"

"I'm on Pan's side."

"Oh really? Then why were you hiding?" she giggled and I narrowed my eyes, my bottom lip dropping.

"How did you –?"

"Us mermaids have our...trinkets," she replied, grinning. "But that's beside the point."

"Just – do you know anything about the dagger?" I snapped impatiently.

"You're a curious one, aren't you?"

"Aquata."

"Yes, yes, I'll tell you. But it's only a rumour."

"Rumour?"

The mermaid rolled her eyes like it was obvious, but I didn't care. If I was to be aware, I need to be 100% aware with no space for questions and doubt.

"Pan's powerful and he can block out our vision with a wave of his hand, allowing nobody to know what he's up to."

"And how do you know this rumour?" I said, tired of all the questions I was having to ask and getting to direct answers.

"We have our little birds in the village. Sheesh, I thought I was bad at getting off topic."

I rolled my eyes, pursing my lips as I glared at her, but she merely grinned back at me. "It's possible Pan killed a child with that weapon in your hands."

And of course, my eyes shot open and I genuinely dropped the dagger into my lap; the blade fortunately didn't piercing through my tough pants. "And before you ask why – whenever he goes to a village for new recruits, there's always one or two stray kids that escape the flute's enchantment before they're whisked away to Neverland. And Pan doesn't like strays," she said, smirking a tad too vexing for my liking. "And so he kills them."

"I – what – no," I stammered, blinking a couple of times. "You said yourself it's just a rumour." But the mermaid shrugged, dropping half of her face into the water as she stared back at me. She can't be telling the truth. Mermaids are known for their lying. But...she's not using her charm against me.

"Only a rumor," she said against the water, bobbing up and down and only stopping to talk. "It's hard to know for sure about anything Pan does nowadays."

I dropped my gaze to the dagger in my lap and slowly took it in my hands, my bottom lip parted from the top. I don't believe. Pan wouldn't have done that.

But in all honesty, I didn't know who to trust anymore. The mermaids had manipulated me twice and at this rate, I didn't know if I was being manipulated by the mermaids, by the pirates...even by Pan.

Pursing my lips, I tightened my grip around the dagger, imaging a kid screaming and Pan's bloody hands.

No, no, no, I screamed in my head, quickly sheathing the weapon in silence while my mind raged.

And when I looked back up, Aquata was gone.