I needed a moment – a long moment, to sit and think about everything. I had fallen head over heels for Pan without a thought, a thought I seriously needed to consider.

Sitting by the ocean on the sand, I took a deep breath and sucked in the sea air, allowing my mind to clear. Peter Pan, the demon everyone seemed to warn me of, the demon who can apparently love...

But maybe it wasn't love?

Was it manipulation? Surely not...right? Being with him, it felt so real. But the power of Neverland was stronger than I could ever imagine and I may simply be stuck in a fairytale of my own, one that ceases to exist in Pan's world.

I loved him, yes. Oh the nights we spent together...but did they mean anything to him? I had told him that I loved him, but he had never replayed the words to me. I felt sick in my gut and I rolled back my lips, bringing my legs to my chest.

The night was beautiful on the island, and I've said that to myself so many times now. Maybe it's the thing that keeps me sane?

Pan saw himself as a monster and so did Killian – heck, maybe even some of the lost boys? But they keep their mouth shut, fully knowing that if they did speak up, they'd face some sort of consequence.

Maybe all of this doubting was simply my own mind? Anxiety? Had my constant worry for the heart developed into something more? Ugh, all of these questions are giving me a headache and with that thought, I closed my eyes and pressed my head to my folded arms that sat against my knees.

And that's when I started to weep.

I didn't know anything anymore. I was once so confident in my thoughts and now...that confidence was a mere memory.

Hearing footsteps, I lifted my head and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes, seeing an all-too familiar figure approach me. Pan.

"What are you doing out here?" he said in quite a snappy tone, as if annoyed by the fact that he couldn't control me anymore. Well, he didn't want to, I suppose.

"Thinking," I said, taking a deep breath to calm myself. Refusing to look his way, I kept my gaze fixated upon the sea.

"You didn't return for dinner."

"I wasn't hungry," I snapped back at him, genuinely upset for him interrupting my thoughts and alone time. He knows me, right? Can't he tell I want to be alone? Maybe I don't know him as much as I thought...

"Serena," he said, not calmly and softly like it had been the previous days. The 'fairytale' of the ball and the kindness to him was fading.

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

"And so are you!" I raised my voice, turning my head to face him. He analysed me, reading me like he would read everyone else. "You're keeping things from me."

"It's for the best."

"No, it's not," I sneered and he rubbed his forehead, getting to his feet. And so did I: I wasn't going to let him escape this now. "We're supposed to be a team, you and I."

"Serena –"

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" I couldn't stop myself. This anger that I had been holding inside – it was finally being brought to the surface and was bubbling over. With pursed lips, he stared back at me, a fire in his eyes, a fire that I wasn't afraid of. I took a step forward and closed the gap between us; again, I heaved a breath, scared for my next words. They ached in my chest even before escaping my lips. "No more secrets...or no more me."

I saw his body tighten, his eyes wavering between and angry and saddened state. With each second that didn't tick, I could feel tears stinging my eyes.

And with a sigh, he lowered his head.

A king only bowed to his queen.

"I've been studying alchemy with the pixie," he began, still his words affirmative. My eyes narrowed, waiting for him to continue. "For a back-up plan."

"Which is?"

He took another sigh, his eyes staring into mine and guaranteed he was speaking the truth.

"For the Underworld."

"What?" it blurted out from my mouth and he quickly tugged that usual strand of hair behind my ear.

"I plan on getting that heart, Serena, but I must always have a back-up route. If I do die, I may be able to escape the Underworld, a supernatural purgatory for fairytale beings."

I couldn't help but drop my gaze, nodding once. I understood, and it was a smart thing to consider, I had to admit. "And there's one more thing." Meeting his gaze again, he smirked. That's the Pan I know. "I need that mirror for you. If I do get stuck in the Underworld, you can use the mirror to see me, to talk to me. Tink and I are trying to enchant it so it can cross realms."

I couldn't help but smile and all the weight off my shoulders had lifted.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course," he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into an embrace; I rested the side of my face against his chest, closing my eyes as I listened to the sound of Neverland move through his body. Stroking the back of my head, he said, "remember, everything I do has a purpose." My smile only broadened: he told me that once already, and I seemed to keep forgetting such a simple thing.

When we arrived back at the camp, only Ethan and Jayden sat by the dying fire. They looked over their shoulders and Ethan nodded once, as if to greet us.

"The boys have gone to their tents. Felix has ordered a mermaid errand for tomorrow."

"Mermaid errand?" Pan said, momentarily startled. I don't think he was used to be told information that he didn't already know.

"Yeah. Tink visited while you two were off talking and said she needed an object or something of theirs for your spell."

"Great, now all the boys know..." Pan grumbled to himself, only allowing me to hear.

"What object?" I quickly said, covering for Pan.

"A certain pearl," Jayden said, shrugging. "Felix knows the details. Ask him in the morning."

Pan nodded once, thanking them with the gesture.

"Serena, come," he said quickly and quietly before walking off. Glancing to the boys, I smiled before jogging to catch up with Pan, trailing behind him as we entered his tent.

"Blasted fairy," he said as soon as we closed up the tent. He took off his shirt, the humidity of the island and the risen anger getting to him - hey, I wasn't complaining. He was sculpted by the gods themselves.

I took a deep breath, walking to the nearest candle and blowing it out; there were about 4 or so others scattered around the room, but I left 2 lit, one on each bedside table. Pan sat on the edge of the bed, his bare chest tense and his breathing heavier than usual as his hands rested behind him, keeping his torso lifted.

Standing in front of him, I softly brushed my hands through his sweaty hair and I picked up the grail that was placed on the bedside table. I didn't remember Pan and I placing it there, but I took it anyway.

And then I stopped just as the cup reached my lips. There was...a certain smell to it, something that was ringing bells in my head.

"What is it?" Pan said, looking up at my curiously. With a worried expression, my eyes found his and he waited for some sort of explanation...but I only said one word.

"Poison."