I didn't bother to try and look for Pan. He did what he wanted and if he didn't want to be found, it would stay that way. Instead, Ethan returned and offered to take me out hunting in attempt to clear my head. It was a strange way to relax: killing innocent animals for useless human sport. But it was a way of life on Neverland and so was death...I had to accept both of them.

Nighttime was upon us and we headed back to the empty camp, the horrible stench of bodies causing my chest to tighten; Felix and James weren't there, so I had to presume they were the ones off burning the lost boys somewhere.

The stench was disgusting and it reminded me of the time I threw up in the bucket. I silently hoped my stomach would hold itself...

Entering my tent, my eyes drooped with exhaustion. Dinner hadn't been served and in all honesty, I wasn't hungry, so I personally wasn't missing out on anything. Pan was practically gone for the entire day and, like the douche he was, probably purposefully left me alone to figure out my thoughts. But again, I wasn't bothered with his games. If he had wanted me to figure something out, I would have. That's how Neverland worked.

That's how Pan worked.

Sighing, I sat myself down on my squeaky bed, staring into the distance and not really knowing what to do anymore. Did I truly feel something for him? I couldn't lie to myself and say no – I wouldn't have kissed him back if I didn't.

I went to bed that night with a heavy lump in my throat, the sound of the pan flute returning like usual just before the darkness engulfed me.

+++

The next day, James came to collect me for breakfast and we met up with Ethan by the campfire. According to him, Pan and Felix were out looking for lost boys or doing some other mission neither one of us were aware of.

We ate in silence, my bowl of fruit barely emptying as I picked at this plump strawberry with my fork, its red juices flowing out and reminding me of the bodies; James noticed something was up and paused.

"Everything alright?"

I let out a sigh, rolling back my lips as I gently placed down my fork.

"I'm not hungry."

"Serena, you must eat," said Ethan, sitting on the opposite side to James and I.

"It's not like I'll die from starvation," I mumbled, taking a gulp of water to clear my throat. "I'm gunna go shoot some arrows."

"Serena," James snapped, grabbing my wrist just as I was about to get up and leave. "Just eat something. A slice of apple, a bite of watermelon, anything."

I rubbed my nose, sighing. The stench...it's tainted my nostrils. But my stomach did ache with hunger and as much as I wanted to get up and walk away, my hand reached into my bowl. I grabbed the strawberry that I had been picking and I placed it in my mouth, slowly sinking my teeth into the fruit.

James (with his worry finally leaving his face) turned his head back to his own food and continued to eat in silence; Ethan watched us, eating just as slowly as myself.

The rest of the 'breakfast' was as silent and awkward as the previous moments.

But that wasn't the worst part of my day.

When Pan and Felix returned alone, Pan barely looked at me in the eye and if he did, it would be to give me an order. In all honesty, I was confused, lost, and wondered how he could look at me with such a bland gaze after...

Stop it, Serena. Don't get caught up in your emotions, I thought to myself, carrying out my order. And what was that order exactly?

To go pick berries outside the camp's borders. Pretty pathetic, right? But I wasn't one to complain, at least not to Pan's face.

Kneeling down with my basket, I began picking the berries, careful to not cut myself on any thorns. According to James, they were laced with poison and I didn't need to be rescued again.

The silence was nice, I had to admit. Alone in the jungle, the sounds of nature calming the endless questions that riddled my mind. I never realised how much I needed time alone until that moment.

When I returned to camp, I felt refreshed and myself again...and then I saw Pan playing his flute, seated against one of the logs around the burnt out fire.

With his back to me, he paused and the last note hung in the air depressingly.

"Have you got the berries?" he asked, his back nor body moving in my direction. I felt this anger rise up in me, wondering why he was suddenly acting like a jerk to me. But I took a deep breath and steadied myself – I didn't need to be so petty about it.

"Yes," I simply replied with, taking a few steps and placing it on the table beside me. "Anything else that needs to be done?" I was personally surprised I wasn't annoyed at having to ask such a question. I was willing to do whatever needed to be completed, mainly because it'd get my mind of a lot of things. But what Pan said was something I truly didn't expect.

"Why haven't you left?"

I blinked a couple of times, astounded by the question. It was said so bitterly that I wondered if he wanted me gone. But that didn't make any sense – not after our trip to the town and especially not after that kiss, right?

"What...what do you mean?" I asked, my voice, to my annoyance, becoming squeaky.

"After what I did..." he grumbled and my stomach twisted – which event was he talking about? This boy was so tightly wrapped in a mystery I was beginning to think...maybe I didn't know him as much as I thought I did.

Something had changed. He wasn't the Pan I'd seen, the strong and cocky boy. Without hesitance, I walked over and sat beside him, half in-disbelief as to why he was acting this way.

Sitting beside him, I looked and examined his face that was tainted with anger and sorrow, his eyes looking anywhere but at me.

"What are you talking about?"

And that anger that I saw finally boiled over and he fiercely stood up, staring down at me with blazed eyes.

"I tried to kill you and you're here acting like it never happened."

My jaw dropped and I said my thoughts aloud.

"We've discussed that already!"

"Don't tell me you haven't –"

"For goodness sakes, Peter!" I yelled, cutting him off as I got to my feet, standing in front of him. "What the hell has gotten into you?" I clutched onto his shoulders, his eyes finally meeting mine. They were glazed with tears and it broke my heart, a mild ache arising in my chest. "What is going on?"

He dropped his gaze again and I moved my right hand, placing it against his cheek; I gently caressed my thumb over his delicate skin.

"You can't love a monster," Pan said, as soft as the clouds that covered the sun above. "And a monster can't love." I expected to be angry or shocked, but I was only relieved of the weight on my shoulders. I smiled, bringing my other hand to his cheek and holding his face in mine. My bottom lip hung, my eyes waiting for his to meet mine and when they did, I responded with utmost sincerity.

"You're not a monster," I said, a small smile returning to my lips. "You never have been."

And with those words, I brought his head down to mine and kissed him, gently and slowly.

I felt him move his hands and place him on my waist, taking hold of it firmly as he closed the small gab between us. With our bodies pressed against one another, our lips moved in perfect balance. I wrapped my arms around his neck, arching my back as my hand found its way into his hair. His lips and mouth were as warm and welcoming as the first, but there was strength to it – an urgency for more.

And so, I found myself hopelessly and completely in love with Peter Pan.