'Luke will always have his heart on his first love. He wouldn't even want to forget her. Even in the middle of the plot, he still remembers her'

This world had already arranged for Luke to have 'Miki Linux' as his first love. It's arranged by fate. Though sometimes fate doesn't arrange everything, but this is one of the things that fate had already arranged.

I hate fate. That's all. It wanted me to do as it wills.

What is my answer towards to Luke? For me, the conclusion is clear.

"We put a line between us."

A line that we will never cross. A line that separated us. A line that can never fade.

I saw his eyes cast down. My answer is hopeless, after all. If I were to fall in love with him, I will definitely harm myself. I don't want to die.

"Anyway, my request...." I broke the atmosphere between us.

"I know. I'll try to minimize it"

"Killing is bad. Protect yourself first before protecting other people"

This boy will definitely abandon his life for my family. I saw him as my brother. I don't want him to fall into darkness because of us.

I request him few years ago that to minimize his killings. I don't want him to stray out the path. Luckily, I was in time as he was about to stray.

"Later" I said as I walk pass the door

***

After that I hurriedly go myself to my room. Days is going fast that it isn't enough.

I spend so little with them. I distanced myself from them...

I wanted to cry... I wanted to. But I promised that I will not cry by myself.

Stupid brother! Making me promised over a stupid thing. He knows I can't break a promise.

What a pain.

"Need someone to cry with?"

What an unexpected timing. He's a stalker after all.

The person appeared is none other than the 'appearing at the right time' Ian.

I just look at him with my usual expression.

Even though I wanted to cry, my face won't show it.

I'm always like this. I facade myself with a mask that it became myself.

That's why ani who saw through my mask made a promised with me to not burdened myself to keep all of my emotions to myself.

"Just come here. I need you now"

This guy here has sixth sense which can sense if I ever need him. Which I also found very unscientific.

"Direct as always. You only been embarrass if you ever felt any of positive emotions"

"Shut up. I need someone to cry on for now"

But the thing is how should I start crying? My attitude is hard as a rock.

"I see"

I felt that I hit something with my head. When I look, my head was already in his chest. His hands patting my head

"It's okay to cry. Don't take everything by yourself. Didn't you say people who overwork themselves will die early?"

Yeah... I did say that.

"It must be hurt. To shoulder everything by yourself"

"..."

My feelings started to swell up. I can no longer control over it.

"W-why do I have to.. do this..?? W-why do I have.. to go through this again. Those stupid things! I hate them! Fate?! Do they really want me to suffer!? Why?! Why do I have to?! Just why me?! I have suffered enough already! What do they thought of me?! A killing machine?!... A-a machine that follow others' order? I'm not a twool! I have enough of it!! I have... *sniff*"

I cried out loudly. I can no longer take it after all. My words are getting messier as I cry.

I love my family yet I have to distance with them. I put a boundary between us. To protect them I have to.

"It's alright. I'm always here with you. If you ever need me, just say it. Didn't I told you, just trust me"

"I-I don't want you to die because of me.... *sniff*... I hate it. You... you're the only one who I can t-trust... You.. you're t-the o-only one... w-who knew me..."

"Don't worry. I won't carelessly let someone take my life. I can protect myself. I have all you needed right? How can I let you be alone again?"

In this night, I cried like I never cried before.