𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺.

♥️

"Α full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation while on the other hand, cuddling relieves pain. Just as it boosts your immune system, cuddling and releasing oxytocin will decrease your pain levels. Even simple touches from someone you cuddle releases enough oxytocin to make you feel better and loved." I mumbled softly, pulled back a little to look up at Alex.

Alex hummed at me but kept a straight face, like always.

I smiled internally, with time I've started to understand him. He doesn't have to say it anymore.

Even though his face is always blank, his body is more relaxed when he's free and happy, he tends to play with his fingers unknowingly while when he's sad or angry, his body is stiffer, and he clenches his hands time and time again while biting his lips unconsciously.

"What I mean is, hugging Xander helps me feel less lonely and fearful but hugging you or cuddling you...it's different. I don't feel like this with anyone else. It feels different, and I like this difference. With you...It feels like no one can harm me, no one can hurt me, yo- you're safe. My safe." I elaborated and smiled, looking up at Alex only to find him half asleep.

"Alex?" I called him, he pulled me back to his body and started running his hands through my long hair making me sigh.

This moment felt good, the buzz running through my body felt good.

The way Alex's touches felt like small zaps of electricity running through my body.

I loved how I craved for more than he gave me, of himself, yesterday, and how I want to explore more of him, love more of him, tomorrow.

"Sleep. I'm tired today, I'll continue saving you." I smiled and wrapped my hands around Alex's stomach and hugged him tighter, ignoring the pain in my upper arm.

"Good Night, safe."

♥️

I whimpered a little in pain because of my rib and opened my eyes only to realize it was late in the morning, I looked to my right where Alex was sleeping yesterday at night only to find out that the sheets were out cold.

I sighed and moved a little and realized that pillow support wall, had been built around me in such a way that I did not end up stressing my ribs or bending in such a position that could end up stressing my back.

I tried sitting up but realized that overnight the affected area on my right rib had swollen and was paining ten times worse than it was before.

It's okay, Sierra, you can do it.

You always do it.

I closed my eyes and decided to count to three and wake up with force like I used to back in the Vega mansion.

3..

2..

1

I pushed myself hard to get up but then a hand wrapped around my shoulders softly but firmly and pushed me back onto the bed making me lie down again.

"I really don't understand what goes on in your head sometimes, what are you trying to do Sara?" Alex spoke and looked at me dead in the eyes.

"I- I just wa-wanted to go to the t-the u-use washroom?" I grinned a little and look up at Alex with big eyes like how I used to look at Mary when I wanted chocolates.

Alex cleared his throat and turned his neck cracking and relaxing his neck muscles.

"I'll do it, I'll carry you to the washroom don't try to get up on your own. I've arranged especially cushions on the flight back home to. I'll take of you, don't worry"

I smiled feeling a little embarrassed, "I know you'll take care of me, you always do but I can go to the washroom on my own"

I tried getting up again but before I could a hand wrapped around my knees and neck, picking me up bridal style as I wrapped my hands around his neck for support.

"It's not up for discussion, according to google, when you have a broken rib you should be able to walk around but it does stress your back so better be safe than sorry" Alex explained and walked to the washroom helping me inside and helped me back in my legs.

"I'm right outside, call me once you're done okay?" I nodded and smiled as Alex left the washroom.

Once I was done, I washed my hands and winced at the pain in my upper arms which seemed to refuse to go away.

Usually, broken ribs and black spots take about two or three weeks to recover so they shall be good again in no time.

I opened the washroom door and noticed Alex standing right outside scrolling through his phone, the moment he saw me he picked me up again and carried me to bed but as we were helping me lay back down the rug slipped a little under my feet and I feel down onto the bed pulling Alex on top of me.

"I-I sli-slipped, t-t-the rug-" I stuttered as I looked up at Alex straight in the eyes. Without even realizing, I shut up and stared at him. I've never seen him up this close before, his face was hardly two inches away from mine.

I sucked in a deep breath as I felt a hand graze over my cheeks and push the bangs off my forehead.

Unconsciously I leaned into the warmth of the hand grazing my face and closed my eyes for a moment, the slight electric bolts hitting my body felt good.

It felt like a thousand butterflies were fluttering inside my stomach and I love how it felt. I love how it did not make my senses go on alert and instead made me feel relaxed and ... loved?

I felt Alex leave a soft kiss right below my ear while softly holding my face from the hand that was just grazing my face a second ago.

I slowly opened my eyes but Alex refused to look up at me kept his face dug up in between my neck and shoulder.

"A-Alex?" I called out.

"I don't want to look up, it's hard to explain but looking into your eyes...it just doesn't feel right. Maybe it's because they remind me that I'm diverting from my original plan or maybe it's because your eyes don't feel real. You feel real but your eyes, refuse to give away anything at all. The way you respond to my touches feels like you want to tell me something but the moment I look into your eyes, I get lost. Lost because they refuse to talk, lost because they don't feel real and I know that what I'm saying probably, sounds like absolute bullshit. Eyes don't talk, but something doesn't feel right when I look into your eyes, so let's just stay like this. I like how real you feel when I touch you, and how you respond to my touches but at this moment, I hate how I love what I'm doing."

I slowly closed my eyes and ran my hands through Alex's hair, hiding my tears.

How would something fake, feel real?

I tried taking in as much energy as I could from Alex, from his love.

In my mind, I already knew what I was going to do.

Yesterday night, sleeping in Alex's arms gave me enough strength to think everything through and plan out all the details without getting scared of the consequences.

I'd do anything for Alex, to let him know that I love him back.

If a game of life and death is what awaits for me, then so be it.

I choose my safest yet my most dangerous bet, Harry. Either way, I have to steal the papers that Alex wants.

Sir would have been my safe bet, in the term that, even if he finds out that it's me and not Sara, he'd probably end up beating me, worst case scenario I'd end up on my the hospital. The only reason I opted out of choosing him is that he knows me, even if I try he'd probably figure out it's me and not Sara. No level of acting could fool him.

Harry, on the other hand, would be easier to fool.

Sure, his name itself makes me want to run away and I accept it, I accept that Harry, alone, once made me want to kill myself and took me to the deepest low of my life, but now, at this very moment, I know I want to live.

I know I want to live because I have a family, a family that genuinely loves me. I have to live because I have reasons to live now.

Live for Alex.

Live for Xander.

Live for Mary.

Live for Maya.

Live to see Ian grow into a wonderful man that I'm sure he will be.

Being raped, and being forced to give up at the age of ten is not something I wished fo,r but that's what I got.

Being raped and feeling threatened to this day is not something I signed up for, it's not something fourteen-year-old me who stood in the washroom with a blade in her hand at two am after being raped the second time in her life asked for.

Being raped isn't what sixteen years old me, who was raped for the third time by her uncles, at his bachelorette party asked for.

The cigarette marks all over my body were proof, proof that I survived feeling threatened and dead inside for years until I left the vega mansion.

Until Alex saved me and loved me like no one else ever had.

I am, what I'd call, thankful.

Thankful, because I have a family that loves me and takes care of me. Thankful because they get worried when I don't eat enough or feel pain. Thankful because they protect me as no one has ever protected me before today.

Harry, for sure, wouldn't be able to differentiate between me and Sara if I act well and don't let my natural instinct to hide away from him take over me.

Tomorrow, when I see the person who ruined my life I'll keep my family in my heart.

Because the love I've received is far greater than the scars I bear.

♥️

𝓥𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓐𝓷𝓭𝓕𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀

𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮- 𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪.𝘩𝘢𝘩𝘢

Anyways guys, I COMPLETED WATCHING THE BRIDE OF THE WATER GOD. Thank you to everyone who suggested it, I totally did not cry in the last three episodes.