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Tonight's events kept replaying in my mind.

they kept haunting me.

I kept drinking.

It wasn't helping.

With every sip of alcohol, I had hoped my mind would drift away, I had hoped I'd stop thinking about Adriana, about how Luca proposed to her. And it's all Leonardo's fault, it's all my fault.

I can't let this marriage happen, unless Adriana agrees, then I have no power to do anything, to change anything.

Luca is doing her wrong, all for business. Leo was clear, for this deal to happen, he wanted a bigger name for Luca, and if he married a Lockwood, this would make his name bigger, it would hit every news headline, every tv gossip show,the wedding of the year, Lockwood plus Di Vaio. Only then, only if Adriana agrees, the business deal is on.

It could have been me, it could have been me proposing, but it was too late, I couldn't f*cking do anything

I almost told her I love her

But now, I still can. I don't give a damn about that business deal if the price is Adriana and her future. If the price is her. She won't be happy, I know Luca, his devious ways, he knew about this all along, this is why that bastard took her away in the first place, planning all along, to make her fall for him then use her, use her name for business.

She deserves better, she's a f*cking diamond, too precious, too unique, she deserves the world. And Luca won't give it to her

She doesn't deserve me either, I treated her like an object, I hurt her, I caused her pain, and that is something I won't ever forgive myself for. I was a devil, a monster, and she was an angel with broken wings, ones that I had broken

Maybe it's too late, maybe she already said yes and now, right now they're together celebrating, making love, doing whatever the f*ck they want, while I'm here drowning my sorrow with alcohol

My grip on the glass tightened as I thought more about them

Anger, rage, jealousy.

I was blinded by jealousy and anger that I banned Adriana from ever coming here, I was determined not to ever see her face here, if she agrees to marry Luca. I was simply hurt. A feeling I wasn't used to

That was completely idiotic, this is why I need to talk to her, I want to know her decision

I threw the glass, it flew across the room then hit the wall and it shattered into thousands of tiny pieces

The door suddenly flung open, catching my attention, I looked up and fire ignited within me, rage took all over me

I got up from my seat, surprised I could still stand still after chugging three vodka bottles

"F*cking hell, what are you doing here" I said in a low threatening tone, looking at him straight in the eyes, with so much hatred and disgust

"Such a warm greeting hermano, I'm here to talk" he simply said, a smug smile forming on his lips, his eyes then fell to the floor, to where the shards of glass were sprawled and he looked back up at me

"Pretty aggressive"

"Shut the f*ck up, and start talking Luca, I'm not in the mood for your childish acts, quit stalling and get to the point"

"Hah, sure. But first.." He said then he opened the door again and shouted "SOMEONE COME CLEAN THIS MESS HERE" then he turned back to me

I rolled my eyes at him and plopped back down on my seat

"Drink?" I offered in a sarcastic tone and he just nodded "why not, hope it's not poisoned" Luca said and took a seat opposite to mine

Five shots later, Luca started speaking

"You see Noah, I want your help" he laughed

"With?!"

"Adriana"

"Kill yourself"

"Hmm that's quite petty Noah, didn't know you had it in you"

"What is it" I narrowed my eyes at him

"Feelings"

"Funny" I said dryly

"So this is what you bloody hell came here for? To ask me for help with Adriana? What makes you think I will help you, you're delusional. If anything hermano I'm the one that will ruin this whole bullshit, because she doesn't deserve that. If Leo wants a deal tell him to choose other conditions" I said and felt myself tense up all over again, wanting to go on a killing rampage

"Hahahahaha, as if Leo would negotiate this" Luca started laughing, as if I just cracked a joke, I stood up and leaned over the desk, looking straight into his eyes

"Listen Luca, you know I don't f*ck around, and if there's a reason I haven't beaten the life out of you by now is because I still have respect for you, and I'm not even in a sober state, this is my decision and I won't change it, you either tell Leo that or I'm telling Adriana the truth" I threatened then leaned back to my seat and poured yet another glass

It was barely affecting me, like my body was immune to intoxication

Luca kept silent for a little while, he was thinking this through I suppose

I sensed him staring at me so I looked his way, he had a smile plastered on his face and his stare was anything but relieving

"Then you leave me no choice Noah but to do and say this, I didn't want it to end this way, thought I'd get you to change your mind, knowing how important this business venture is for the both of us, but seems like your heart have controlled your actions"

"What are you on about Luca, are you trying to threaten me" I cocked an eyebrow at him, my jaw ticked and I could feel my veins popping due to anger

"You threatened to tell her the truth about me, Sí? I'm just playing the same game, you tell her about me, I tell her the truth about you, the truth of how she ended up here, the truth about her mother and the deal you made with her mother, you think she'd forgive you and stay with you, huh? Or will she develop pure hatred for you? Thing is Noah, if she stays with me, we both win, money that is, you lose Adriana yes, but at least she wouldn't know the truth, but if you do however decide to tell her the truth, which then I do tell her too, we both lose an extraordinary business opportunity, and you lose her, so both. Which choice seems better now huh brother?" He finished talking and by now my nostrils were flaring with pure fury, I gritted my teeth and my knuckles had turned white, I remained seated, planning my next move, considering the consequences of murdering him right here, right now

It was the next sentence he uttered that got me gripping his neck

"Don't worry though, I'll f*ck her for you, she won't even remember you, she'll be very pleased with me, you'll find another doll"

We were on the floor by now, throwing punches at each other

"YOU F*CKING C*NT DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT HER THAT WAY EVER AGAIN, DON'T OBJECTIFY HER, YOU DON'T KNOW HER" i roared and threw a punch directly at his nose, he flinched away in pain

"WHAT HAVE YOU BECOME NOAH"

"Oh. I've become human thank you for noticing" I said, sarcasm was obvious in my tone, then I stood up

"Now leave Luca, you got what you wanted, I will disappear from her life, but if I know Luca, and trust me I will, that you touched her in any wrong way, out of her consent or hurt her in any way I won't be responsible about my actions, I would end you. You hear me loud and clear yeah?! And I will take 55% of the profit we make. Those are my terms and conditions, accept or lose this whole sh*t" I said looking down on him, I watched him as he struggled to get up then he approached me

"You have a deal. And have my word that I will not hurt Adriana in any way, I will protect her" he said and I nodded lightly

We shook hands and he was about to leave when the door suddenly flew open and one of the guards Milo, barged inside with a worried look on his face

"What?!" I asked

"Adriana Lockwood is here, and no one and anything is restraining her from coming inside, she wants to talk to you"

I felt slight pain my heart, this was such a bad timing... What.. What is she doing here?!

NOW SHE COMES? AFTER MY DEAL WITH LUCA?!

"Noah go see here, you know what to do" Luca said

"Do what?!" I snapped

"This is our only chance, I know why she's here, you know why she's here, I've seen the way she looks at you and if there was one reason she didn't agree to my proposal it was because of you, now go make her regret coming here, push her away, then the plan would fall in order, and I would keep my promise to you about her, push her away and I'll guarantee you her safety and happiness, I'll just stay here then go after her when she leaves" Luca said and I was about to throw another punch at him but repressed myself.. Because I knew that was he was saying was for the best

I had to keep her safe and keep her away from finding the truth about me, and this was the only way. I need to push her away, because after her marriage I won't be able to do anything, It would kill me to see her and not want to f*ck her right where she is, not want to kiss her and hold her. I needed her to stay away from me, to hate me. She will move on from me, and the only way for me to move on is to never see her again

It would be the best for the both of us.

I have always been selfish, all my life.

And this will be one of the most selfless things I will ever do

For the first time in my life I will put someone's happiness before mine, I will put Adriana's first. Her happiness and safety over my happiness.

Yes I might hurt her but she'll be over it, better off without me in the picture.

There wasn't even happiness for me in the end, it would do no one good, she will eventually find out the truth and I rather her hate me now than later, and if I know her, I know why she's here, she knows that I love her.

And because I love her, I will break her heart, keep her away from me, keep her safe, being around me would be dangerous, Luca and Leo could hurt her

She has been hurt enough, it's time for me to taste the bitterness of my actions, and my feelings.

Monsters always end up losing, they don't even deserve happiness. And this was me, maybe it's karma.

No book, no movie, ever ended with the villain winning right?

I'm sorry Adriana Lockwood for what I'm about to do, I can just hope that one day, you would know why I did what I will do now, I hope you find out that it was for your own good, and it was because I actually loved you not the other way around. I thought then left the office and headed outside to see her, for the last time.

I was out, and fury was taking control of me

~*~*