I stood at the window, having just about got out of the bed and Lukas' grip without disturbing him much. The sunset made the condensation on all the leaves glisten like fairy dust or magic. The sun was still low in the sky, but lit up the world with a deep red-orange colour, outlining the few clouds that hung up in the atmosphere. Being high up in the building, I could see a lot of the street and buildings around me, all the curtains and shutters closed; no one else was up this early yet. But that added to the peaceful presence of the town, everything and everyone was silent apart from a couple of birds here and there. Although it looked like a beautiful morning, I could feel in my bones that it wasn't going to be a good day.

I turned to look down to Lukas sleeping on the bed still and sighed. He was stretched out on his back, his arm lying across the bed where I had been, his hair tousled and messy from sleep. Nothing made me leap for happiness or excitement. My heart didn't skip a beat when I watched him. My stomach no longer filled with butterflies. Something was wrong.

Watching my fingers tighten and flex around the window ledge, seeing the bones move in various ways, I smiled a little before pushing off and leaving the room. Glancing down the hallway, it was just like outside; silent. Walking to the bathroom, I shut and locked the door and turned the shower on, hoping it wouldn't wake anyone. I stared into the mirror at my reflection. Looking in my eyes, I could see the sadness. I didn't want to be here.

After taking a shower and tying my now damp hair up in a ponytail, I moved towards the kitchen, filling up the kettle and turning it on. The window above the sink faced the same way as the bedroom and so the sun shone through, lighting up the room and making it glow. I poured myself a tea and leaned against the sink, once again watching the world outside as I drank the tea.

"What's up?" Lukas whispered in my ear as his wrapped his arms around me. I hadn't heard him come out, but then again I had been caught up in my own little world. I remained motionless as his hands pulled me towards him, his warmth almost burning my stomach.

"I want to go home." I stated blatantly.

"We will. But just let me spend a bit longer here, with my family. They can help us get across legally maybe." He shrugged even though the chance of that, without waiting for years, would be very unlikely.

"But I want to go home now." I turned around, leaning against the sink and looked up into his eyes, surely he could see the desperation.

"Why can't it wait?" He argued, a little anger raising in his eyes, but mostly concern and confusion. He took the cup from my hand and placed it on the counter.

"Because I need to be home." I said simply. I didn't know why, I just wanted to be home, not here. It didn't feel right; me and Lukas being here together. It felt wrong. Like I was breaking a promise or some law.

"But why?" He kept questioning, placing his hands on my shoulders in an 'answer properly and fully now' way but also stroking my skin with his thumbs in a caring way. But that just made me cringe even more. "Kirsten, tell me."

"I miss..." I began but I couldn't finish the sentence. What did I miss? Home? My mother? My old life?

"Come on, you miss what? I'm here with you aren't I? Isn't that good enough for even a week?" His temper started to rise again.

"I miss Friedrich!" I blurted out before I could even comprehend what I had just said. His hands tightened before letting go, falling to his sides as his fingers curled up into fists. "I'm sor-"

"Shut it. Just pack your things. We'll set off tomorrow." He said as he stormed out of the kitchen, going to the bathroom. I watched the door for a few moments more before picking up my tea and watching the whirl pools in that instead. As much as I wanted to cry this out, I couldn't. Why had I said that though? Did I really miss him that much?

"Is everything okay?" Julia came out, dressed in a long nightgown, yawning and rubbing her eyes, but despite the complete and utter tiredness evident on her face, she was well aware of what she had heard and concern filled her features. I nodded simply.

"Would you like some tea?" I questioned, wanting to avoid any more questions she might have.

"That would be lovely dear." She smiled kindly and sat down at the table, smiling again once I had brought over a tea. I sat opposite her and we drank out drinks silently, but not awkwardly; she was comforting me in a way without crowding me. I liked her. But that didn't change what had happened.