(Present)

Lisa sat in the quiet corner of the dressing room, her thumb swiping across the screen of her phone, going through line by line of possible questions and memorizing the requested answers provided by the agency. Her stomach flipped every time she came across the name that's now so familiar to her heart but unwelcomed in her mind. She had it all fixed in her head last night, already felt confident that she would not be intimidated by the judging stares or being the subject of attacks. But she can't help the imaginary voices, screaming to get her attention since they got here.

Elation and desperation – she really can't tell the difference on what she's really feeling at the moment! She rubs the sweat that starts to materialise on the surface of her palms on the towel next to her.

'Was there something between you and BTS' Jeon Jungkook?' She read the line again for the umpteenth time. 'They most likely won't ask you that cus there'll be no media interviews but just in case anyone managed to stop you and ask, just answer it like this.' Her manager's voice appears in her head, making her nervous all over again.

She's damn tired. The past three months had been fruitful for Blackpink as they travelled across Asia for their tour, embracing all the love their fans had shown them and gaining new fans with their mini album promotions. But it's also tiring as they hadn't stopped practicing and performing from one stage to another, jumping on and off airplanes from one country to the other.

On top of that, the back-to-back shows and CF recordings gave them no time for themselves at all. She had hoped that within the long period, she'd forget all that had happened and come back in peace with everything. And she almost believed she did too when she had stopped crying after the second month.

Come on Lili...it's going to be okay! They'd probably forgotten all about it. And he...he's probably forgotten all about you too. The recent news had evidently proved that.

The gentle buzz of the energy from outside of the room is apparent. She looks up to her three members, sitting in front of the dressing tables, getting their face and hair done by the make-up artists. Lisa stared and study the way they're chatting and laughing with each other, her sisters that she loved so much.

I almost ruined it for them. The familiar guilt crushes over her again and she tries to control her emotions, being careful as she always had been to not cry in front of them. She rose up slowly and walks out to find the nearest refreshment servings. She needs to gain her composure back. Today is a big day for her group.

They're nominated for the Best Dance Award. Although they had very little hopes that they would win, they're still grateful to be in the line-up alongside the big names in it. It's not that they lack the confidence, they'd just been through more than enough hate to accept the fact that they probably will never do right in the eyes of the public.

They had 'the talk' last night. Jisoo had led the girls – especially Lisa - to understand that there will be things that people don't see or couldn't imagine that they had gone through – the tears and the sweat that had made them to who they are now – these are to be kept between themselves. There's no need for the fans to see it. And Lisa, out of all people, knows all too well about hiding her emotions from the world.

She reached the refreshment area and grabbed the plastic cup of water on the table, taking a few cold gulps to calm her nerves. Keeping her head and eyes down, she breathes in and out deeply. She's aware of how many idols are in the area, although she couldn't bring her eyes up to see which legs belongs to whom. What happened a few days ago had got a lot of idols talking. Some of her members' idol friends had even called them, trying to get the whole story in check. They didn't say anything, of course.

"Pokpak!" She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped a little, turning to face one of her oldest and best friends. For the first time in what had seemed like the longest time, Lisa felt the presence of home again.

"Bam! How are you?" She shrieks, trying hard to not jump in and hug him. That would've added on to the list of damage control her agency would have to deal with!

"I'm alright – how are you? How's it feel like to finally have your very own concert back at home?" He was all teeth and smiles, looking dashing as always.

"It was good! Like, crazy, I'd never – in a million years, Bam – thought I'd be lucky enough to be in all those places! There were so many Blinks and pyong bongs flashing and so much love!" Her hands were clenched in a fist as she shakes it in front of her chest animatedly, a habit of hers whenever she gets excited. "It was amazing – magical even!"

Bambam laughs at his friend's adorable gestures. He knows how soft she is, and this had always been the dream they've been talking about since they were little. To see her achieving the same as him brings warmth in his heart. Especially with everything she had been through.

"Yeah, I've been following Blackpink's news a lot. You guys did so great, everyone's talking about it too! But uh...I really wanna know how you've been -" His gaze shifted to the door, where another idol's presence just walked in, heading straight to them. Oh, no...

"Lalisa..." Lisa froze upon hearing the honey-like voice behind her. How she missed that voice...

No! She looks up to Bambam, who's now looking at her with guilt in his eyes. She breathes in deeply, gathering herself and put on a smile to her good friend. There's no need for the world to see the pain. When Bambam nodded slightly, she turned around.

Jeon Jungkook is standing in front of her now, with a worried – or is it angered – look on his face. Lisa takes a second to embrace the presence of the first man she had given her heart to. How can he still be standing here after what she said the last time they met, and after the news? He looked like he's lost weight. But he's still as handsome as before. Lisa felt like she hadn't seen him for so long, when it was only last 2 weeks.

"Sunbaenim," Taking her eyes off him, she bows slightly and walks out of the room in full speed.

...