Lulu was warmly welcomed by Leslie's arms, melting in the comfort of a mother's hug that she secretly hoped would never end.

"It's so good to see you," Leslie said with a smile.

"I've missed you guys," Lulu replied as she spotted Gia in the kitchen.

The younger Bennett came to give her a hug as well, "I'm so happy you're here..."

Lulu caught the teenager's distress and kissed her temple, "Yeah, me too."

Leslie didn't wait before pouring her a cup of coffee, which Lulu gladly accepted, knowing all too well that certain habits hadn't changed. When Lulu would spend an absurdly large amount of time in her household, up to the point where she now considered her one of her kids, she had gotten used to sharing a cup of coffee with her in the morning as she was always up before Rue and Gia.

Leslie had missed the kid, "How have you been?"

The question was genuine and Lulu felt it all the way, shivering slightly. But she didn't know what to say. If she wanted to be completely honest, she would have to talk for hours on end and she knew that Leslie and Gia already had enough on their plates. Maybe a few months back, Lulu would have been a little more selfish and would have confessed wholeheartedly about what was going on in her life.

But everything was different now and she had grown away from the idea that she could seek some mother affection in any adult that would be willing to give it to her. Not because it was necessarily a bad thing but because it would turn that way for her. She would be the one to cling onto any parental figure that would act like a parent with her and take the risk to turn it into something unhealthy.

And life had made it clear that she was now the adult in her family, meaning she would have to act like one as much as possible.

So Lulu shrugged, gulping her coffee quickly, "I've had better days but... it's okay."

Obviously, Leslie didn't believe her for one bit. She had seen her grow up and everybody in town knew what was going on in this family. But she could tell that Lulu didn't feel comfortable talking about it so Leslie nodded, respecting her decision to keep certain things to herself.

"Rue's in her room," Leslie said.

"Okay, thanks," Lulu replied as she started walking out of the kitchen.

But Leslie interrupted her, "She kept saying she had lost you."

Lulu stopped dead in her tracks, gulping harshly and slowly turning around to look over at Leslie and Gia.

"I... I don't know what happened between you two," Leslie continued, "But if there's one person, one... that she's ever scared to hurt... it's you."

Lulu made eye contact with Leslie and Gia, slightly shaking her head, "If she keeps hurting herself, she's gonna hurt everyone around... That's what she has to understand."

And Lulu walked away, feeling her heart beating faster with each step that brought her closer to Rue's room. Because, each time, she told herself that she should just put Rue aside, that Rue clearly didn't want her in her life anymore. But Lulu was aware that addiction was the real cause of Rue's behavior and Lulu knew that Rue would need genuine love to get better.

Lulu's love for Rue was limitless. She was the best friend she had grown with and that only parted ways because Rue got caught in a relationship and didn't know how to handle it.

Lulu took a deep breath and knocked on the door, waiting for a faint "come in", and finally entering the room where she discovered Rue under her blankets, "Oh, but you really came!"

Rue's eyes sparkled at the sight of the girl and she sat up on the bed, trying to remove the covers and get up. But Lulu was quicker and jumped on the mattress, engulfing her in a big embrace.

That's when I knew that I had love all along. Cause Lulu wasn't perfect but she had never judged me. She never compared our lives, she never tried to gaslight me or make me feel like shit.

The two girls pulled away and Rue stared at Lulu's eyes as if they held all the answers in the world. As if she was looking at her for the very first time and was falling in love with her all over again. As if her obsession with Jules —and with drugs, had veiled the way she used to see Lulu.

"I'm so sorry," Rue broke down, feeling some hot tears slowly rolling down her cheeks, "I... I don't know why I did that... y-you've always been there and—and I..."

"Shh, please, Rue, it's okay," Lulu interrupted softly, "I... Honestly, I don't wanna hear your apologies..."

Rue started crying harder at her best friend's words, feeling like it was too late now to fix the mess. But Lulu started playing with her hair, placing a few strands behind her ear, "Y'gotta stop apologizing for something you can't control."

Rue frowned, leaning against her touch, "W-What?"

"Addiction," Lulu replied, "You can't control that. Like... I mean, you can't control that on your own."

Rue shrugged, sniffing, "I... I don't know... I'm not sure I'm getting what you're trying to say."

"You've never wanted to be clean, right?"

"Uh... I... yes, I did."

Lulu shook her head, "No. No, you never wanted to be clean for yourself."

Rue gulped, feeling small under Lulu's eyes. She had always been able to see right through people. Sometimes, it would take a little longer for her to understand what she was picking on but she was always right.

It was now Lulu's turn to feel a tear rolling down her cheek, "It won't work if you don't wanna do it for you... Only you... It can't be about Jules, your mom, Gia... me..."

Lulu got out of the bed and started pacing around, trying her hardest not to panic in front of Rue at the idea of her best friend trying to kill herself with drugs, "Y'know Rue... you're my first real friend... My first best friend... No matter what, you'll always have a special place in my heart."

"Lulu... please don't... you make it sound like we're gonna stop talking or being friends..."

Lulu looked over with glossy eyes, "Yeah... if you kill yourself."

And she broke down crying, sobbing uncontrollably as Rue suddenly found the strength to get out of the bed and engulf her in a hug, both of them crying as they were finally able to connect again.

"I'm sorry," Lulu whimpered in the crook of Rue's neck.

Rue pulled her face away but kept a firm grip on her waist, "Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong."

"Yeah... I didn't do anything," Lulu said with a shaky breath, "I couldn't handle everything going on so I just... I just chose to put you aside cause I couldn't... I couldn't..."

Rue grabbed Lulu's face and placed her forehead against hers, "I'm not mad, I'm not... I promise... I deserved it. I wasn't there for you either."

But Lulu couldn't ignore the twisting of her stomach and the lump in her throat as she knew she had blatantly decided to close her eyes when she was well aware that her best friend was going down the wrong road.

Rue kissed Lulu's temple and the two girls looked at each other as they slowly started smiling, finally feeling like things could get better if they had each other.

"So... you asked if I was hungry," Rue hinted with an eyebrow wiggle.

Lulu huffed dramatically, "Girl, please, y'know I can't come over empty handed when we didn't hang for so long!"

Rue chuckled and watched as Lulu revealed a bag full of junk food that she threw all over the bed, removing her shoes so she could snuggle under the covers with her.

And I told her everything that happened. About Jules, about Elliot, about running away... the withdrawal... the darker thoughts... Everything.

I fuckin' told her everything and she didn't judge. Well... she did say she'd beat up Jules' ass but I knew that was coming...

I mean... don't lie, ya'll did too.

Rue laughed, "No, don't... don't do that, you're gonna get fired from school like... it's not worth it."

Lulu grimaced, "So?" and pointed a finger at her own face, "Does it look like I give a shit? Imma fuck her up so good, she's gon' remember it for the rest of her life."

But, like, she didn't judge... she listened. Like Jules or Elliot never listened to me like that.

Rue and Lulu were laying down on the bed as Lulu was smoking a cigarette and staring at the ceiling. And Rue had her eyes glued on her, wondering how lucky she had been to get a friend like her, a friend who was still there even though she had almost ruined everything so many times, "Lulu..."

"Yeah?" Lulu said as she turned her head to make eye contact.

Their faces were very close and they both knew that their special love had never left. It wasn't really platonic, it wasn't really romantic either, Rue had never felt it with anyone else —never with Jules or Lexi, and Lulu had never felt it like that with Fezco, or even with Maddy.

It was their love.

"I love you," Rue finally spoke in a whisper.

Lulu smiled, leaning forward to kiss her forehead longingly, "I love you too."

... ... ...

, i meaaaaaaaaaan let's never forget that i started this whole story with lulu and rue being the besties for LIFE but i really wanted to show how addiction and life events can fuck up even the strongest relationship

but that they can always be fixed with some work and real genuine love which is what rue and lulu feel for each other

i have a few chapters planned before i start writing about lexi's play, i have a little lulu x jules (x elliot?) showdown (i really wanna know how you want lulu to react like idk i do take suggestions) + lulu and fez getting ready for the awards + lulu working with lexi on her play!

waaaaait 700k reads???? wtf omg thank you soooo much