《IN YOUR MIND. fezco》vii. surprise guest
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Eventually, Lulu got super high. And, when she is high, Lulu talks. More than she usually would. Today was no exception.
"Wait, both of your parents?" Elliot asked with wide eyes.
"Yeah," Lulu replied, dragging the word as she lit a cigarette.
"At the same time?"
Lulu chuckled, "Nah... my dad left three years ago."
"Well, shit..." Elliot said, "Do y'know why?"
"He owed money, like a lot," Lulu explained, "I don't know, I guess he freaked out and... he left."
Lulu recalled the bills she was now paying for him and sighed, "And my mom just went crazy. Said she had found him or whatever."
She noticed how Elliot intently listened as she shook her head, "That's fucking bullshit, I don't know where the fuck she is but she ain't with him, that's for sure."
She sighed, suddenly feeling self conscious that she was opening up to a guy she had barely met, "Anyways, let's change subject, I literally spent my morning talking about this with a stupid cop."
Elliot laughed, "Okay, okay... Actually I wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah?"
"How do you do it all?" Elliot asked, "Like this shit, school and, like, movies and stuff?"
Lulu let out a chuckled, "I don't... I'm failing school so hard man, I swear."
"I can't imagine doing all you do," Elliot confessed, "For real."
"I don't really have a choice, y'know," Lulu said with a shrug, "I'm not even doing it right."
"What do you mean?"
"Like... I can't be a mom, a sister, a student and an actress all at once," Lulu replied, "I feel like I'm doing... the bare minimum y'know?"
Elliot nodded as Lulu poured out her thoughts out loud, "Like... on the outside it looks fine. But sometimes I feel like saying fuck to everything."
"Yeah... you fuckin' bet."
The pair looked at each other once more before Lulu chuckled, "It got fuckin' deep, damn. Sorry about that."
"Don't be sorry, I asked."
It felt nice to talk to someone new. Lulu didn't really know how Rue had met him in the first place —and she would make sure to ask, but it was a nice change for her. They had talked about a multitude of things ever since she had walked inside of his house and she never once felt judged by him.
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Awhile later, Lulu finally decided to check her phone to notice a missed call and a few texts from Fezco.
"Uh... you wanna stay for dinner?" Elliot asked awkwardly, "We could fix you a plate."
sup pretty
uhm u should come over
got a bit of a situation
Lulu frowned at the message before looking up at Elliot, "Uhm... it's really sweet but I'm gonna head home."
He scratched his throat, "Yeah, alright, cool, cool, cool."
She grabbed her purse and her jacket and he walked her out of his house as he watched her put on her helmet, "Rue was right."
"About what?" he asked.
Lulu jumped on her scooter and turned on the engine, "You're really cool."
And she gave him a small smile before driving off down the street.
... ... ...
Lulu glanced at Fezco, then at Ashtray with bewilderment scribbled on her face. Faye was sitting on their couch and looked utterly embarrassed when Lulu showed up.
"Your man's really nice," Faye babbled quickly.
Lulu frowned, "Yeah, keep your distances."
"Excuse me, I got my own boyfriend."
Lulu rolled her eyes so hard she swore she saw Ashtray snickering on the other side of the room. But she didn't have time to snap back at the girl that Fezco had dragged her into his room.
"I don't want ya to freak out or anythin'," Fezco started, "Custer asked me to keep her for like a few days but there ain't anythin' weird or—"
"I know."
Fezco stopped talking and finally looked at her to see she wasn't mad at him. She looked perfectly composed with maybe a hint of jealousy in her eyes, or maybe it was fear, he wasn't sure.
"I... uh well... after what you told her I thought—"
Lulu interrupted him with a soft kiss. When she pulled away, he was looking at her with stars in his eyes, "I trust you, Fez. Her... not so much. She's a fuckin' addict and will probably try to bribe you for some shit."
"Nah... she with my boy Custer."
Lulu sighed, kicking off her shoes and laying on his bed, "I don't know, we'll see... But if she tries anything, I fuckin' kill her."
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Fezco laughed a little as he lied down next to her, "So... Zahia came at the station earlier..."
Lulu's heart skipped a beat and she gulped, well aware of where the conversation was going, "She told you."
"Yeah..." Fezco admitted, "Why didn't you tell me you were goin' this morning?"
Lulu sat up, dropping her head on the headboard, "Cause I know you weren't on board for this."
"It ain't that Lulu," Fezco said as he sat next to her, "I just feel like you and your sister are gon' get split for nothing."
She shrugged, biting her lip nervously, "You... you don't know that. We got... a social worker who's supposed to come and, like, make sure Zahia's safe with me."
"In that neighborhood?" he rhetorically asked.
"What was I supposed to do, Fez?" Lulu let out with a hint of anger in her voice, "School's about to start and our mom ain't coming back."
"I get that—"
"No! No, you fuckin' don't!" Lulu interrupted, "I'm just fucking exhausted of pretending I'm handling it fine when I don't!"
Lulu's bottom lip started quivering and her eyes slowly felt warmer as they were filling with tears threatening to spill out at any second. Fezco cursed under his breath, hating to see her into so much pain and making her feel like he wasn't there for her, and he tried to grab her hand but she yanked him away, getting off the bed.
"I know us going to the cops is bad for you guys, I know," Lulu said, "And I'm sorry, I'm really fuckin' sorry. If I could do it different, I would. But I need help."
"I coulda helped," Fezco whispered, "Y'know I'm here for ya and Z."
Lulu sighed in frustration, "I know that... But how can you help when I don't even know where to start?"
And Fezco had no answer to that. He remembered all the times Lulu had been talking about all the little details she had pinpointed in her mother's diary, as if they were a code to crack. But she was right, there was no way to find her without proper evidence.
And, Fezco would never say it out loud but, maybe Lulu's mother didn't want to be found.
"I'm sorry, Lulu," Fezco said, "I didn't want you to think I'm mad or anythin'."
"It's okay," she whispered, wiping away a tear that had rolled down her cheek.
"You don' look okay," he said, trying to grab her arm.
She nervously shook her head and took a step back, "Imma fuckin' kill myself if they take her away from me."
"They won't, word," Fezco tried reassuring her, "Stay the night, I'm here for ya."
The single tear that had escaped her eyes turned into silent sobs she couldn't control anymore and she darted her eyes away from him, opening the door, "I-I'm gonna go home, I'll... I'll see you later."
She walked down the hallway with a blurry sight, muttering a small, "Fuck!" before ignoring Ashtray's gaze on her and disappearing outside.
And when she got home, she didn't wait a second and joined Zahia in her room, sliding under her covers and trying to fall asleep next to her.
... ... ...
, okayyyy so please DO NOT FREAK OUT ahahah
obviously i see a lot of people scared that lulu would cheat on fez with elliot??? but hey she's his ride or die and she's CRAZY for the guy i just thought it would be really nice for lulu to have someone who's into art as well in her life because that girl needs it ahaha (and cause i think it could lead to a very cool friendship)
so i hope you like this little bond i'm creating cause im also trying to destroy those stereotypes about girls and boys not being able to be just friends cause im done with those
and well lulu and fez.... i did create some tension but, again, lulu's under a lot of pressure and doesn't handle it well...
im really loving the feedbacks soooo waiting for your comments because they do make my day, you guys are absolutely incredible i love you all
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