"Okay, I just don't understand why you're taking a video camera on a road trip!" Kitty whined, following the twins into the driveway with Red, Donna, and Hyde. "You should be packing more sensible items, like toilet paper. And your mother!"

Izzy laughed and held her video camera close to her as Eric put her bag in the trunk. "Well, Mama, Eric wants me to film his breakdown. He offered to pay me in nickels, and that was an offer I just couldn't pass up."

Eric sighed. "Look, you two. My year off is officially over, and I think I've finally decided on a sensible career that can provide a really stable future." He paused. "I'm gonna be a travelling documentary filmmaker!"

"Oh, come on!" Red said, scowling. "You just made that up!" He began gesturing with his hands to mock Eric. "Hey, Kitty! I'm going ice skating on a rainbow!"

Hyde snickered. "Yeah, good one, Red." He began to mimic Eric too, as he opened his eyes wide and said, "Hey, Donna! I'm gonna play Monopoly with Han Solo in space!"

Izzy and Red laughed, but Donna just rolled her eyes. "Eric, don't listen to them," she said, taking his hands in hers. "I have complete confidence that you're gonna be the best travelling docu-whatsit who-maker ever."

"Besides," Izzy mumbled, wrapping an arm around Hyde's waist as his arm settled on her shoulders. "He'll come running back home as soon as he sees a truck stop bathroom. We'll be back by tonight, I guarantee you."

Hyde chuckled and kissed her softly. "Be safe, okay?" He mumbled, his eyes searching her face, which he never got tired of looking at. He noticed that there were two new freckles on her nose.

"I always am," she said with a smile.

"Do you have enough money?" Kitty asked the twins, breaking each of them away from their partner.

Eric laughed as though the answer was obvious. "Mom, we don't need that much money! I'm sure that at stops along the way, some strangers will offer us hot pots of beans for colorful stories from the road!"

Kitty made a face. "Hot pots of beans? What if they're spicy?! Eric, you can't even chew cinnamon gum, and Isabelle once cried from eating a bell pepper!"

Izzy held up a finger. "I was crying before I started eating it. B- Because Granddad died that day."

"Okay, that's it. We're going," Eric said. "I'll miss you."

"Well, thank you, Sweetie!" Kitty said brightly.

Donna paused. "Um... I think he was talking to me."

"He was not! Eric, who were you talking to?"

"Yeah, who?"

Eric froze for a second, trying to come up with a way he would make it out of here safely. Izzy and Hyde just watched in amusement, hoping he'd dig himself into a deeper hole.

"It's times like this that I usually fake chest pains," Red said with a grin.

"Uh, I was talking to... the... prettiest girl in the driveway, that's who!" Donna and Kitty both smiled, obviously thinking he meant them.

Kitty looked like she just remembered something. "And I want you to call me every night at nine o'clock!"

Donna knit her brow. "Oh, he can't be calling you, because he's calling me at nine o'clock. That's why I got him that watch as a gift!"

Hyde leaned over to Izzy. "You'll be home by nine, right?"

"What time is it?"

Hyde grabbed Eric's wrist to look at his watch. "Noon."

"Hey!" Eric said, pulling his arm back.

Izzy nodded. "We'll be home by eight thirty."

"Hey, Fortwins!" Kelso said, jogging up to the group. He was followed closely by Fez, who waved hello to Red. Red just rolled his eyes and turned the other way. "I'm gonna miss you two, y'know?" He nudged Eric with his elbow. "Hey, uh, just between friends, I want you to know somethin'. While you're gone, I fully intend on takin' a shot or two at Donna."

Fez shook his head. "He won't care! On the road, he's going to meet lots of horny girl hitchhikers looking for a ride to cheerleading camp!"

"What makes you think that, Fez?" Izzy asked.

"Adult films."

"Well, I watch crime shows. And any hitchhiker will probably murder us before they have the chance to seduce Eric."

Kelso clicked his tongue. "I dunno, Iz. I don't think it would take a lot to seduce him." He turned to Donna. "Did it?"

Eric's face turned bright red as he glanced back between his parents, remembering that they were still there. "Okay, we'll be going now! Come on, Izzy."

Izzy smiled brightly and kissed Hyde on the cheek, then stood on her tiptoes to do the same to Red. She laughed as Kelso held her car door open for her, and just like that, the Forman twins were off on the road.

-

"Start recording! I want to shoot the introduction!" Eric said excitedly, not even two miles away from the house yet.

Izzy rolled her eyes as she turned the camera on. "I want these nickels ASAP, alright doofus?"

"Yeah, yeah-"

"We're rolling."

"Oh!" Eric put on a cheesy grin. "Hey, America! Welcome to Eric Forman's... Journey to Happiness! Not to be confused with Eric Forman's Journey to Fatso Burger, which my assistant so kindly decided to film."

Izzy's giggle was heard from behind the camera. "I think the way you order food is stupid. You hang out the window like that'll help them hear you better."

"There's a little microphone! You speak closer to the mic, so that the sound-"

"The mic is that specific distance from the cars for a reason, Eric-"

"Oh my god, will you let me do what I need to do?" He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter for a moment, took a breath, then put on another cheesy grin. "I'll tell ya; being on the road like this, it really makes you feel like a man."

As if on queue, something popped under the car. Eric began shrieking as he tried to keep the wheel steady, and Izzy had dropped the camera into her lap in surprise.

She quickly picked it back up and pointed it back to Eric, whose face turned red. "We'll have to edit that part out later," he said sheepishly.

-

Izzy sat cross-legged on the ground, filming her brother inspecting the flat tire. He kneeled down to get into frame better, and pointed at the evident hole in the rubber.

"Okay," he said. "I think we've learned today that the road can be a cruel, cruel mistress. She caresses your tire with her asphalt hand one minute, the punctures it the next. But hey! At least that didn't stop us from making it out of Point Place!"

Izzy slowly moved the camera to hide the large YOU ARE NOW LEAVING POINT PLACE sign just ahead of them.

"Greetings, gentle viewer!" Izzy said cheerily as she pointed the camera towards herself. "Road trip update, Eric is about to change a flat tire. And this--to me--seems like such an opportune time for a joke!" She ignored Eric's loud groan of displeasure in the background as he struggled to figure the tire out. "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a flat tire?" She paused, as though the camera were responding. "Well first, the tire really has to want to change."

"Very funny, Iz," Eric said, before turning back to the camera. "So folks," he clapped his hands together. "What do you say we slap a spare tire on this sucker, huh?"

-

"It turns out there is no spare tire," Eric mumbled, holding the camera in his lap as Izzy paced behind him.

"Eric," she said slowly. "How could you forget a spare tire?! Didn't you check?!"

His eyes widened. "I don't know car stuff! Why are you so freaked out, anyway? I heard you telling Hyde we'd be back by sundown."

Her ears turned bright red. "It is pitch dark outside, Eric! In case you couldn't tell! We can't drive home because of the goddamn tire, and now we can't even walk there!"

"Shit," he mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It'll be okay, Iz. We're safe here-" He was cut off by a rustling in the leaves, which made him jump to his feet. "Hello? Hello?! Who's out there?!"

Izzy gripped Eric's arm tightly. "Oh my god, it's a convict with a hook for a hand and a taste for small blonde girls, I just know it is!"

"Buddy, you come one step closer... I- I've got a tire iron!"

Izzy nodded. "A- And he'll give it to you if you go away, please!"

"Hey, dude!" Out from the leaves stepped the shadowy figure, which the twins could now recognize as-

"Leo!" They both said, the fear leaving their minds immediately.

Leo nodded. "What're you doin' here, man?"

"What are you doing here?!" Izzy asked excitedly, pulling him into a hug.

He grinned. "It's like the universe wanted us to find each other, man." As Eric hugged him, Leo patted him on the back. "So. Do I know you guys, man?"

-

"So... they're a family of monsters?" Red asked confusedly, watching the television.

Kelso shook his eyes, his unblinking eyes trained on the TV as well. "No, they're Munsters."

"And they're living in a neighborhood of normal people? Why don't the neighbors just get together with some guns and go over there to kill them?"

"Pretty sure they're saving that for the last episode."

Hyde came up the stairs, an open can of beer in one hand. "Hey, where's my girlfriend?"

Red scowled at the television. "My daughter is on my son's la-dee-da roadtrip."

Hyde paused and looked at the clock on the wall. "It's past eight thirty."

"It's nine fifteen, has Eric called?" Donna asked, coming in through the kitchen door.

"He didn't call you?" Kitty asked, setting her mug of tea on the coffee table. Donna shook her head. "I thought for sure he would call you! He's always choosing you over me!"

Donna looked confused. "Name one time."

"Prom night!"

"Okay, I haven't heard from Izzy either," Hyde said. "D'you think something happened to them?"

Kelso giggled. "Aw, is wittle Hyde scared for his Izzy Wizzy- ow!" He said, rubbing the spot on his arm where Hyde has punched.

"I'm starting to think something's wrong, too," Donna said.

Kitty's eyes widened. "Red, we have to go look for them!"

"Fine," Red huffed, still watching the television. "Anything's better than this crap. I mean, who wants to see monsters not get killed?"

-

"You know what, Leo? This is our first truck stop of the trip, and I, personally, am loving it!" Eric said excitedly, drumming his fingers on the countertop. "It's like... how did you find this golden oasis?"

Leo took a drink of his coffee. "Woke up in the parking lot once."

Izzy poked her food around her plate with a fork. "Man, Steven's gonna be so psyched to see you. That'll all be worth this road trip shit Eric got me into."

"I said I'll pay you!"

"Shut up, Eric."

Eric sighed and paused, looking around the diner. "And these truckers, they just seem like great, salt-of-the-earth guys, you know?" He leaned across Leo towards a table full of dingy old men. "Hey! Ten-four, good buddies! Oh. Oh crap, they're looking at me."

"To be honest, I think they're looking at Leo," Izzy observed.

Leo nodded, a content smile on his face. "Yeah. Truckers love me, they think I'm Bob Seger."

Eric's eyes widened as a thought dawned on him. "You know what? These guys would be the perfect people to interview for my movie! Izzy, where's the camera?"

Izzy, who was in the middle of taking a drink of pop, calmly held up a finger. When she was done, she daintily cleared her throat. "It was heavy. So I left it in the car." Before Eric could protest, she turned to Leo. "So, Leo, what have you been doing since you left town?"

"Ah," he mumbled, "just wandering around, trying to find my place in life."

Eric nodded. "Yeah, I've been trying to find my place in life, too. It's like... where do I fit in?"

"No, I've been looking for my house, man."

The waitress came up to the triad, coffee pot held lazily against her hip. "You guys need anything else?"

Eric shook his head. "No thanks. We're just waiting for the mechanic I met in the parking lot to come back with the spare tire and change."

The waitress raised her eyebrows. "Honey, there's no mechanic around here."

"Uh... no, there is," Izzy said. "It was this skinny guy--like, skinnier than Eric--we gave him twenty bucks and he just ran off. He seemed very excited to do manual labor."

"Ohh," she breathed. "No, that'd be Earl. He's a speed freak."

The twins' faces paled.

"Oh my god, Iz. That was our last twenty bucks," Eric said quietly.

Izzy clenched her jaw. "I know that."

"It's okay guys, dinner's on me," Leo said.

Eric breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thanks. You'll pay?"

"No, I mean I got spaghetti sauce all over me!"

Izzy put her forehead in her hands. "Leo, this is serious. What are we gonna do?"

"I've got it!" He held up a finger. "We'll soak the shirt in club soda."

-

"Okay!" Kelso said loudly, pacing around the Vista Cruiser they had found the side of the road. "I'm gonna use my Police Academy training to find out what happened here! First thing I'm gonna need is for everyone to lie, face down, with your hands behind your head!"

Kitty wrapped a hand around Red's arm. "What if they stopped to take an adorable brother-sister photo and then got kidnapped by white slavers?!"

"Those don't exist, Mrs. Forman," Hyde grumbled, kicking the dirt up as he paced.

Red rolled his eyes. "I told them that this was a stupid idea. And now we're stuck out here in the middle of nowhere. My foot is shaking, it wants to kick their asses so bad!"

Hyde turned to Kelso. "She said she'd be back by eight thirty. Not just a phone call, like back home."

"Chill out, man! I'm sure they're fine."

"Eric can't protect Izzy! Izzy Bee can protect one person max, and we both know she'd pick to save that twig over herself. She- She's too selfless, man! I should've been there with her, making sure she was okay-"

Kelso poked Hyde's shoulder, giggling. "I'm tellin' you, man. She's fine on her own. She doesn't really need ya!"

Hyde just stayed quiet, rubbed his shoulder.

"I never should've let Eric go on this trip," Donna said. "I should have tempted him to stay home by offering him sex." She paused, then remembered Kitty and Red were there. "I mean- Scrabble."

Kitty sighed. "Oh, look. If my baby boy being safe depended on you being loose, I wouldn't have to worry."

Kelso crossed his arms and strolled over to the cluster of people. "I think it's obvious what happened to the Fortwins."

"Will you stop calling them the Fortwins?" Red asked, clearly annoyed.

Kelso totally ignored him and started pointing at the car. "We've got an abandoned car, a flat tire, and footprints heading off in that direction. Mrs. Forman, your kids have been kidnapped by coyotes."

"Isn't it more likely that they had a flat tire, couldn't change it themselves, and went off to find some help?" Hyde asked.

Kelso snapped his fingers. "And the coyotes got them along the way! Man, now you're thinkin' like a cop."

"Oh great, my worst nightmare."

-

"I can't believe we're stuck at a truck stop with no money," Izzy grumbled.

Eric looked around, eyes wide. "You know, if we don't do something, I think the waitress is gonna hand us over to those truckers. You know, they're all freaky... sexual deviants. Man, woman, animal... they don't care, so long as it's warm."

Izzy's face had drained of all its color. "Eric, please don't make those kinds of jokes right now. That's really not funny."

"Don't worry," Leo said. "I've got an idea of how we can pay for this dinner."

-

Leo blew out a puff of smoke, grinning. "This was a good idea," he handed the joint to the waitress. "Now, how are we gonna pay for dinner?"

"I think this pretty much covers your tab," she smiled at Leo. "But if you're interested, dessert's on me."

"Well in that case, you'd better soak your uniform in club soda."

Eric grinned. "See, Iz?! What an awesome night! We are partying in the back of a truck stop with a hippie and a waitress! I told you this trip would be interesting."

Izzy giggled as she breathed out the smoke, looking across the table at the others. "Eric, why are they making out? The- I- Wow, the fact that we're here isn't stopping them at all."

Eric's jaw dropped. "Good god, woman, you buttered my toast with that hand!"

-

Kelso stepped through the door of the diner, then turned around to the rest. "Alright, listen up. This kind of establishment is well-known to criminals. I want you to stay close, and if there's any trouble... I will be using you guys as a human shield."

Kitty glanced around nervously. "I don't like the looks of these people. They seem like they could tease a polite young man about his sweater and then laugh when he starts to cry!"

"They seem cool," Hyde said simply.

"Look," Red said, "if Eric's in trouble, he deserves it. Because he should know better by now!"

Kitty scowled. "You sound like you don't care at all."

"It's not a matter of not caring, it's a matter of not giving a crap."

Hyde looked around at all the bums, a glare on his face. "Man, I don't see them anywhere. If any of these dickweeds so much as touched Izzy-"

"We'll kill them," Red said. "You, me, and the bonehead." He paused, then looked over and sized up the girls. "Donna, too. Kitty can wait outside."

"Hey Hyde!" Kelso said, standing over by the jukebox. "They've got Rhinestone Cowboy, toss me a quarter!"

Hyde made a face. "Shut up, Bonehead."

-

Eric stood in front of the camera, which was being held by Izzy as she sat on the hood of the Cruiser. "Well, it turns out I've got a couple problems with being a travelling documentary filmmaker. One: the travelling, it's exhausting. Two: documentaries, I only like ones that are about monkeys."

Izzy turned the camera around to face her. "I've got one: filmmaking. I mean, if there's no space battles, or quirky romances, or dogs that can talk, then what's the point?"

Eric hummed, reminding Izzy to turn the camera back around. She did. "But this day has not been a waste! I realized what I really want to do with my life." He took a deep breath. "Just get the hell out of Point Place. I'm ready to do that. Izzy, you committed to a year in France. That... That's huge. And I want to get out of here, too. Maybe not for a full year, maybe only a few towns over. But that's what I want."

Izzy smiled. "I'm glad this trip helped you realize that."

"Me too. I really feel like this trip... made me a man."

"Eric?" A shrill voice rang out from the darkness.

Eric gasped. "Mommy?!"

The group came out from the clearing, and Red breathed a sigh of relief at the sight. "Oh, thank god, you're okay!"

Eric smiled. "Aw! Dad, I'm fine!"

"Not you, the car!"

"Eric, your mom called me a whore," Donna huffed.

Kitty's eyes widened. "Only because I was worried about you, and I love you more than she does!"

Hyde ran over to Izzy and pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground in the process. "Damn, I'm so glad you're okay."

She laughed. "You worry too much."

"I know, it sucks."