"Thanks for comin' down to meet my sister, man," Hyde said to Donna as all the others admired Mr. Barnett's office. "I had dinner with her and my dad last night, and it was the first family dinner I'd ever been to where we didn't have to sneak outta the restaurant one at a time."

Donna chuckled. "Damn, Hyde. First a new dad, now a new sister? It's like you hit the orphan lottery!"

"Look!" Fez said excitedly. "Your dad's got a whole jar of peppermint patties! That's class, baby."

Eric shook his head. "Nah, that's nothing. You guys, I found twenty bucks just sittin' on the desk... and I kinda want to steal it," he paused. "Wow, I'm really starting to see the underbelly of not having a job."

"Check it out, Hyde!" Kelso said excitedly. "Your dad knows Skynyrd! I heard when you first meet them, if you just yell "Free Bird" real loud, they'll just start playin' it!"

Izzy laughed. "Really though, Steven. His office is beautiful. Is this a real mahogany desk?"

"Indeed, it is," William said. Everyone's heads turned to see him entering his office, followed closely by a very pretty girl around their age, who was dressed very professionally. "Angie, meet your new brother's friends. They're scruffy, but they don't seem to be dangerous."

Hyde went to stand next to Angie. "Guys, check it out," he grinned, "family 'fro!"

Angie chuckled. "I know what you guys are thinking. What are the odds that Steven would have a previous unknown, black half-sister? Well, I'll tell you! Two thousand, four hundred and thirty-seven to one," she paused, looking very proud of herself. "I'm a math major."

"Math major," Kelso breathed. "Awesome! I need some help building a homemade rocket. And we also need a hamster that's not afraid of heights."

"Or getting blown up," Izzy added. "Cause... Cause if I were a hamster, I'd be real scared of that."

Kelso looked down at the blonde. "You're not scared of getting blown up as a person? Man, we gotta get you into my firecracker suit!"

"You must be Kelso," Angie said, extending her hand for him to shake.

He just grinned. "Yeah, I am!"

Angie turned to Izzy. "And I take it you're Steven's girlfriend? Isabelle, right?"

Izzy scrunched her nose. "Oh my god, who introduced me as Isabelle to you? That's disgusting. Why would you say that? I'm joking. I love your blouse. Yes, I'm Izzy. It's wonderful to meet you."

"Boy, am I glad you showed up," Kelso said to Angie. "It's a lotta pressure being the only good looking one in the room."

Jackie's eyes widened. "Michael, that is so rude. You know there's two of us!"

Angie laughed. "And that makes you Jackie."

"That's right, hi!" She rushed over to Angie and pulled her into a hug. "Okay, so let me bring you up to speed on the group!" One by one, she pointed at each person in the group. "Too skinny, too tall, too horny, too foreign, too campy, and I'm just too-rrific!"

William smiled and set a hand on Hyde and Angie's shoulders. "Look at this. My two kids together. And gettin' along! That's it, twenty bucks for everybody!"

Everyone reacted in surprise as William took out his wallet and began handing everyone money. When he got to Eric, Eric held up a hand to stop him. "It's okay. I already got mine. Took it off your desk." He smiled. "I'm in a really weird place with my life."

-

The next day, Angie showed up at the Formans' basement. Hyde nodded in acknowledgment. "Hey, man."

She smiled brightly. "Hi! I brought cupcakes." Everyone immediately started cheering, and Hyde tapped Izzy on her hip to silently ask her to get up. She did, and she watched as everyone ran to get a cupcake. Angie handed a specific one to Hyde with a, "Here's a special one for you: vanilla on the outside and chocolate on the inside."

Kelso was about to reach for one, but was narrowly beaten by Jackie. He gasped dramatically. "Wh- What're you doing? You knew I was gonna take that one."

She shrugged. "Too late."

"You know what, you're always doin' that! That is the reason why we broke up."

Jackie looked at Kelso, her brows knit. "We broke up because you were always cheating on me!"

"That and the cupcake thing!"

Angie noticed Izzy standing a few feet away, leaning on the couch and watching everyone. She offered the blonde a small smile. "Isabelle, don't you want a cupcake? There's one right here for you."

Izzy glanced at Hyde. She could tell something was off with Angie, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. When she looked at Hyde, though, all those thoughts went right out the basement door. He looked so happy to finally have a sister, a family, and a place where he belonged.

"Sure, Angie. Thank you."

Angie handed her the cupcake and set the empty plate on the table. "So," she said, looking around the basement, "this is where you hang out, huh? Do the people who own this place know we're down here?"

"Yeah, they kind of adopted me," Hyde explained. "You don't know this about me, but I've had, like, thirteen dads."

Angie thought for a moment. "You know, I don't know so much about you. I mean, like... what kind of stuff did you do growing up? Did you play sports?"

"Ooh, I used to play this one game called Stoop. What you do is you sit on a stoop, and you chuck things at passersby. I was a pro."

Eric sighed. "I was a passerby."

"Did you know that I am a shampoo boy down at the beauty salon?" Fez piped up, looking very proud of his new job title. "Yes, ladies come from miles around to be touched by these magic hands."

Angie looked down at his hands. "Is that why they're all dry and chapped?"

"No. That's from my day off."

"Angie," Izzy said, trying to make conversation that didn't center around Fez's day off. "Are you excited for your first day of work with your dad tomorrow?"

Angie considered the question, then shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm a little nervous. I mean, it's my first job out of college."

"Oh, believe me," Hyde said. "I've been working there about a week now, and this is the easiest job I've ever had."

"Wait," Kelso said, his teeth covered in chocolate cupcake. "What about the time you got paid two bucks to eat everything outta the Formans' fridge, and then you threw it up all over the place?"

"That was you."

"Oh yeah. That was awesome!"

Angie raised her eyebrows at Hyde. "So... it's cool if we slack off at work?"

Hyde nodded. "Look, anytime I even think about work, I remember one thing: I'm the boss's son. Then I head down to the nearest bar to chug beer and play darts."

"Ah, beer and darts," Eric said thoughtfully. "Keeping the eyepatch industry alive since the 1800's."

-

The next afternoon, Izzy and Donna went out for coffee together. When they made their way back home, they ran into Fez in the Formans' parking lot. He was leaning against the wall and clearly trying to stand out, look cool, and look inconspicuous all at once. When he spotted the two girls, he had an evil glint in his eye.

"I know something you don't know!" He said in a singsong voice.

Donna chuckled. "Fez, you know a lot of things we don't know."

"Gross things," Izzy said. "Sometimes funny things, but usually gross things."

Fez grinned. "True. But this is about Eric. What do you think he's doing every Wednesday night when he's not with us?"

The two girls thought for a moment. "He's taking an at-home Spanish course," Izzy said, to which Donna nodded in agreement.

"He doesn't wanna be disturbed, so he locks himself in his room," Donna added. "You know, I think he's self-conscious because he can't roll his r's."

Fez shook his head, laughing quietly to himself. "Ohoh, believe me, you two. He is rolling his ass off!"

"Okay Fez, what's going on?" Izzy asked. "Does he have a secret family? A third blonde sister?"

Donna laughed. "Yeah! Is there another woman?"

The two girls laughed for a moment at their own jokes, but Fez merely nodded. "Yes. There is another woman." The girls' smiles dropped. "And it's Eric."

-

Izzy sat cross-legged on the basement couch later on, watching as Hyde paced the room and told her about how awful his day was.

"And then she ratted me out to WB! Now, once I finish the dart tournament tomorrow, I'm done for good! She totally set me up, man. I shoulda seen this coming when I found out she's a math major. Those girls are always bitches."

Kelso crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. "You know what your problem is, Hyde? I'm too good-looking."

Izzy scowled. "Who does Angie think she is, anyway? I knew her vibes were off the second she walked in that door. I mean, she had the audacity to bring cupcakes into my basement! We all know my mom and I are the only ones who can supply you guys with baked goods!"

"Hey, uh, guys? Just to jump off topic here for a sec," Eric said, "when you're dancing to, say, like... Donna Summer, do you ever wish you were on wheels?"

Hyde frowned. "Forman, so many parts of what you just said make me wanna kick your ass."

"Eric, you know what your problem is?" Kelso asked. "I'm too good-looking."

Eric clapped his hands together and stood up. "Okay. Well, it's Wednesday night, so you guys know what that means. Off to my room for a little Espanol. Or, should I say, off to my room-o."

When Eric went upstairs, the basement door opened and Angie entered. Right away, Izzy stood up from her seat and Hyde crossed his arms.

"You got a lot of nerve, showin' up here," Hyde said.

"Alright," Kelso said, getting to his feet. "Back off, Hyde. She's here for me," he leaned against the wall and winked. "Hey, mama." Angie didn't respond, but just rolled her eyes.

Hyde scowled at his half-sister. "Hey, so what the hell was that all about today?"

She sighed. "Look. My dad said that if I did well in college, someday the business would be mine. And I did my part. So there's no way that I'm gonna share everything with some frizzy-haired kid, fresh out of juvie!"

"Okay," Hyde said, in the voice he used when he wanted to get a certain point across very clearly. "I'm working at that company because our dad wants me there."

"Yeah!" Izzy said, crossing her arms to mimic Hyde. "And don't try to insult him with that juvie shit. He's over eighteen, if he gets busted for anything, he's doing big boy time."

Angie glared at Hyde. "Running this company is my dream. So if you don't quit tomorrow, it's gonna be war." She looked at Izzy. "You're his girlfriend, talk some sense into him!"

Izzy raised her eyebrows. "If you wanted me to like you, you shouldn't have tried to assert baking dominance over me in my own basement!"

-

"So... what do you think you're gonna do about her?" Izzy asked, sitting on the living room couch as Hyde sat on the piano bench, and Red read the newspaper in his chair. She gasped and clapped her hands together giddily. "Can we go to war?!"

Hyde sighed. "I don't think so, Izzy Bee. I mean, you're asking me to fight for a job. That's a tough sell."

"But this can be your company someday, Steven. By that point, you can just sit back and let the cash roll in. And you can use that cash to get us some tickets to see the Dead in concert."

Hyde thought for a moment. "I would do anything to see Weir live-"

"Or Jerry Garcia-"

"Or Jerry Garcia." Hyde paused, then groaned and put his head in his hands. "This whole work thing is such a mess. I miss my glory days of being an orphan."

Red chuckled and put his paper down. "Little advice about having a family: Get used to being screwed over."

Kitty, who had just entered the living room, looked at her husband confusedly. "Well, that's a very cynical view of family!"

"Yeah. And you and your sister get along so well."

"Oh, I talked to a lawyer. She's not getting a damn thing."

The kitchen door opened and Fez, Donna, and Kelso all walked in, looking downright giddy. Fez walked right up to Red's chair and stood there, waiting to be acknowledged. After a moment passed, Donna just elbowed Fez.

"Red, we have something to tell you!" He finally spat out.

Donna nodded. "It's pretty shocking. I'm not sure how to break it to you."

Kelso tapped Donna on the shoulder. "Alright, you better let me handle this. Okay. Everybody whose son is not a roller disco-er, take one step forward- not so fast, Red!" Kelso flung an arm out to prevent Red from moving, but there was no worry. Red was still sitting comfortably in his seat, looking at Kelso like his head was made of corn.

-

So, that's how the rest of the Forman family and the basement gang found themselves at the roller disco that night. They stood alongside the rink and watched with great amusement as people in bright colors skated to ABBA's best hits.

When the mic turned back on, everyone heard very clearly as the announcer said, "Everybody, give a great big Roller Palace welcome to the one, the only... Rainbow!"

It was a solid minute of pure bliss for the bystanders as they all watched their friend, their brother, or their son skate and dance around the rink.

He was wearing rainbow suspenders with matching knee pads, and bright red shorts that went perfectly with his Hot Stuff t-shirt. To be honest, Izzy found it a little impressive. She had seen her brother trip over his own feet before. Now, though, here he was: skating, disco dancing, and cartwheeling for the crowd who ate it up.

All thanks to one wrong turn, though, Eric met the very disapproving eyes of his father (and all of the others). With a loud, "No!" he skated right into the wall and fell to the ground.

Red sighed as he looked down at his son. "Nice shorts, Rainbow."

Izzy couldn't stop laughing as Hyde drove the two of them home.

"And tho- those- they were..." Hyde tried to keep his focus on the road, but couldn't help stealing glances at the giggling girl next to him. "They were my shorts! He must've taken them out of the donation pile at home!"

Hyde laughed along with Izzy, and the two didn't stop until they got home. They rushed up to Izzy's room to laugh at Eric without having to do it with everyone else.

"I swear," Hyde said between laughs, "Jackie's gotta own that same shirt. I swear it, Izzy Bee! I've seen it before!"

Izzy wiped tears away. "Oh my god, what if he stole it from her, too?!"

This sent them on another tangent that didn't stop for far too long. Once the laughter had finally subsided, Izzy was hanging upside-down off the end of her bed, and Hyde was sitting with his back against her headboard, flipping through her sketchbook.

He chuckled and pointed to one of the pages. "What's this one?"

She sat up and went to move next to him, scooching close so he could put an arm around her shoulders. A smile tugged at her lips. "One time, after a particularly intense circle... I was convinced that my art foretold the future."

He laughed. "What?"

"You've done similar things because of circles, Steven Hyde, I know you have!"

He held up his hands. "Not judging, just surprised."

She giggled and kissed him on the cheek. "Anyway, I came up here after that and sketched this out. It's you in a record store."

"I see that."

She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "Steven, I know you have it in you to show Angie that you deserve this just as much as she does. She just... had a head start."

He kissed the top of her head, and rested his atop hers. "I know. I just need to think of a way to make the playing field more even."

As though a lightbulb turned on over Izzy's head, she sat bolt upright. "Oh my god. I've got it." She grabbed Hyde by his shoulders. "Eureka, Steven, I've got it!"

He looked confused. "Got what? My shirt balled up in your tiny fists?"

"No! Well, yes, but no! Listen, I'm going with you to work tomorrow. And I'll tell you about my plan on the car ride over."

He thought for a moment, then nodded. "Okay. I'm trusting you, you'd better not let me down with this one."

She laughed and pressed her lips to his. "Have I ever let you down before?"

"Never, doll."

-

"Hey!" Angie said with a smirk, walking up to Hyde at work the next day. "Come here to pack up your office?"

Hyde took a swig of coffee. "Listen, sis. About the whole job thing. I thought about going head-to-head with you, but I decided I just can't stoop to your level."

"Well, good."

He grinned. "But she can," he pointed behind Angie to Izzy, who was dressed up in her best worklike outfit to fit in with the other girls in the office.

Her hair was curled and pulled out of her face, she was wearing one of Kitty's blouses, carefully tucked into some slacks that Hyde had never seen before today, and--while she looked like an angel sent from heaven in Hyde's eyes--her words spoke a different story. When she saw Hyde and Angie looking her way, she gave them a smile and a little wave.

"Right now, she's telling everybody we work with that you stripped your way through college."

Angie's eyes widened, and her jaw dropped slightly. She composed herself quickly, though, and scoffed. "Please. Like anyone's going to believe her. My dad's rich!"

Hyde shook his head and leaned against the wall. "Oh, no no. You didn't strip cause you needed the money. Word around the water cooler is... you stripped because you liked it!"

Izzy laughed with one of the girls that surrounded her. "I know, I know!" She said in her most Jackie-like voice. "I don't condone slutshaming, but-"

"Stop laughing at me!" Angie said, walking up to the group. "I am not a stripper. I am a math major!"

Hyde wrapped an arm around Izzy's waist and pulled her aside. "Doll, if there was ever a game show called Make That Girl Cry, I'd go on with you."

Izzy's eyes widened. "No, Steven. We send Jackie and Fez in under our names, and then we take the car after they win. They're ruthless."

"You're a genius," he pulled her in for a kiss, and when they parted they saw Angie storm off in the direction of her office.

-

"Alright, everybody clear some space," Kelso said, walking through the crowded kitchen. "Here's Rainbow!" He gestured wildly with his hands, showing off Eric as he took a walk of shame through the kitchen that afternoon.

Kitty took a sip of her tea. "Now look, Eric. We love you. So it's a good thing I told Fez!" She froze. "I didn't tell you I told Fez." She looked down at her cup. "I- I didn't tell Fez."

"Eric, how did this happen?" Donna asked.

Izzy laughed. "Yeah, you don't just wake up one morning, throw on some skates and my shorts, and start doing cartwheels to Sister Sledge!"