"Good morning!" Eric said, dragging out his words as he sat at the kitchen table. He was bundled up in blankets, clearly just having gotten up and out of bed.

Izzy, who was frosting cupcakes, glanced up. "Good morning? It's past noon."

"Yeah," scoffed Hyde. "Try good one-thirty."

Eric let out a dramatic sigh. "Ah, I'm just so worn out from carrying around all my tip money!" He turned to Kitty, who looked up from setting the cupcakes on a neat little platter. "Here, Mom. Why don't you... kick up the thermostat a couple of degrees? On me."

She smiled. "Well, thank you, honey! You have been such a big help, working yourself nearly to death, so I made you your special sandwich!"

His face broke out into a grin. "Aw!" He said. "The Eric McSweetie."

Hyde raised his eyebrows. "It's a regular sandwich, hold the masculinity."

Izzy laughed. "Oh, Steven," she said sarcastically. "I love it when you talk restaurant talk. Say it again!"

He grinned and opened his mouth to repeat it, but was cut off by Kitty. "Oh, oh! It's almost time for Red's doctor appointment. I have to iron his underwear." She set the plate in front of Eric and rushed out of the kitchen.

"No crust?" Eric said, inspecting the sandwich. "Check. Extra jelly? Ceck. My mommy loves me? Check."

The sliding glass door opened, and Donna came into the kitchen, looking Eric up and down. "Eric, wow. You look beat," she said concernedly.

"Yeah, I was working until, like... one last night."

She hummed and set her hand against his cheek. "My poor baby. I know something that'll cheer you up. Today I got my first bridal magazine! That means we can start registering for stuff in a few days. Great, right?" She opened the magazine, flipping around. "This is so cool. Like, look at this! The groomsmen can wear kilts!"

Izzy's eyes widened. She grabbed a cupcake off the platter, rushed to sit in between Donna and Hyde, handed Hyde the cupcake, and grabbed the magazine. "Oh my god!" She said gleefully. "Steven, you are so-"

"No."

"But Steven-"

"No."

"Kilts are-"

"No."

She sighed. "Fine. No kilt."

He chuckled and took a bit of cupcake frosting onto his finger, then wiped it onto her nose. She gasped and took his sleeve in her hand, using it to wipe it off.

"Donna," Eric said kindly. "You know how much I'd love to spend four or five hours today talking about the wedding, or clothes, or clothes for the wedding, but I- I'm just so beat from last night."

Donna shrugged. "Okay. Well, why don't you go back to bed and I'll curl up with you after class? But this time, sweep the bed for G.I. Joes. Cause that last thing that happened was... unpleasant."

As soon as the door closed behind Donna, Eric grinned evilly. "Life is a cabaret, my friends!"

Izzy scowled. "Eric, I've told you a million times. That's not how you use that phrase."

"What?" Hyde asked. "How'd you use it, then?"

Eric groaned. "Don't get her started, man!"

"When Sally sings that song in the musical, it's about how she's choosing carefree ignorance, instead of worrying about the real social and economic problems in Germany at the time, namely how the nazi party- wait a second," she paused, pointing at Eric. "You didn't work until one. You guys finished at ten, then called me over to play poker."

"Little sister," Eric said with a smile. "Let us not weigh ourselves down with the truth here."

Hyde scowled. "Seriously, man, why'd you lie to Donna?"

"You see, loved ones, when I started working full time, I thought my life would be a total grind. But Mom, Donna... they can't do enough for me! Look at this: heart shaped sandwiches, Donna giving me sexy naps... as God as my witness, I may never go hungry or horny again!"

-

"Okay," Kelso said in a hushed voice, rushing into the basement that afternoon. "I need to figure out what to do on a first date with a woman who's carrying my child."

Hyde crinkled his nose. "Hold her while she weeps."

"You two are going out?" Izzy asked, looking up from her sketchbook. "That's great, man!"

"That's not the point, Forwoman! I need to figure out- wait a second," his head rapidly turned between Hyde and Izzy, like a dog following a treat. "What if you guys came to dinner with me and Brooke? It'd make it easier to find stuff to talk about-"

"No," Hyde said immediately. "There's no way I'm goin' on a date with your girlfriend, who doesn't want to be your girlfriend, but is pregnant with your child."

"I'll pay?"

"I'm in."

Izzy looked at Hyde with wide eyes. "Wanna help me pick out something to wear?"

He glanced at Kelso, his cheeks tinted red. "Wh- No way!"

"Okay, sure," Izzy laughed. She got up, patting his knee. "See you upstairs. I have a new cardigan I want your opinion on."

"I'm sure I'll love it," he said quietly. Izzy leaned down and kissed him softly, resulting in a loud guffaw from Kelso.

As soon as she was gone, Hyde leaned forward in his seat towards Kelso. "Okay. Listen, man. Mrs. Forman and I are tryin' to submit some of Izzy's work for some fancy art gig, and we don't want her to know about it. How can I get into her room, swipe some of her paintings, and get out without her noticing?"

Kelso tapped his chin, deep in thought, then held up a finger. "Window. She keeps it open. It's always worked for me."

"Okay, maybe I can- wait, what?"

-

Izzy sat across from Hyde at the restaurant the next evening, making awkward small talk with Brooke. It was obvious that the two girls were trying to get to know each other better, but had very little more in common outside the school paper.

After a long awkward silence, Izzy took a sip of water and cleared her throat. "So, um... a fun way we got to know each other at an art camp I went to when I was six was by going around the circle and telling a few things about yourself," she nodded excitedly, clapping her hands together. "Okay, I'll start. I'm terrified of guns and hunting, thanks to my republican father's anger issues. Another fun fact about me is that I have really good aim when it comes to guns and hunting, also because of my republican father."

She looked at the others, completely disregarding Brooke's apparent nervousness. She nodded towards Hyde, as though to say "Go on," and he cleared his throat. "Uh... I like throwing stuff at glass," he paused, then grinned. "That's it."

"Okay..." Brooke said timidly. "Uh, I was valedictorian of my class, I run marathons, and I tutor kids in Latin."

Kelso nodded very seriously. "Well, I egged the valedictorian of my class."

"Yeah, and it hurt." Izzy mumbled.

"And!" He continued loudly. "And a marathon runner! Oh, and some kids that took Latin!"

Hyde looked around, an evil smile on his face. "This is fun."

"So... how do you guys all know each other?" Brooke asked.

"Mostly school," Izzy said. "Same grade, y'know?" She smiled. "I've known these idiots forever. Pretty much any friends Eric made on his own, I stole from him. Then Jackie joined our group when she and Kelso started dating, but they broke up a while ago-"

"When he cheated on her!" Hyde said proudly.

Brooke's smile fell. "Wait, what?"

Kelso shook his head. "That sounds a lot worse than it is. I only cheated on her with Izzy and Eric's older sister. The rest of the girls were when we were on a break, cause I annoyed her. But none of those girls were anybody's sister. Oh- Except for the two that were sisters."

"He brought up the sisters," Izzy and Hyde said in unison, although Hyde looked much happier about it than she did.

"Okay, this was a mistake," Brooke said, gathering her things. "I think I'm gonna go."

"No, Brooke, wait," Kelso said hurriedly. "Look. I've been with a lot of chicks. A lot. A lot. A lot-"

Izzy kicked him under the table. "Not helping!"

"Okay, just- let me start over!" He took a breath. "We might not be the perfect match. But I really, really like you. And I think that maybe us--having this baby together--is... like, fate."

Brooke smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Michael," she said slowly. "Fate is when two people meet on a train, or in Paris. Not in the bathroom at a Molly Hatchet concert."

Watching as she grabbed her things and walked out of the restaurant, Kelso turned to the other two angrily. "Man, never use a word in a fight if you don't really, really know what it means!"

Izzy nodded understandingly. "That's why Steven and I can't use the word gaslight anymore."

-

"Guys, everything is totally cool. I've promised to stop acting like such an ass," Eric said to the others, all gathered in the circle. "And I promised to give Donna only presents, not cash."

Donna nodded. "And why is that?"

"Because presents are for girlfriends, and cash is for hookers."

"Although?"

"You're so good, I should pay you."

"Thank you."

Izzy raised her eyebrows and turned to Hyde. "Steven, take notes."

He chuckled and pulled her into his lap. "Don't worry, doll. I know you're not a hooker. But, I gotta say, when you do that thing where you-" Izzy clapped a hand over his mouth quickly.

"Yeah, I couldn't be unhappier about me and Brooke!" Kelso said cheerfully. "So I know I'm doing the right thing, cause the misery is how God lets you know you're on track!"

"And how!" Fez repeated. "Kelso, let us be miserable together."

"Oh, I'm so in!"

Eric turned to Donna, taking her hand in his. "Hey, what are you doing the day after your birthday?"

She paused, thinking for a moment. "Uh... nursing a hangover?"

"Well, you might wanna stick to lite beer, cause I was thinking... maybe we could get married that day?"

Donna's face broke into a grin. "Oh my god, are you setting a date?! You can't set a date in the circle!"

"Uh, I can, and I did." Immediately, she pulled him into a heated kiss, resulting in the rest of the circle booing them loudly.

"There's no groping in the circle!" Kelso demanded. "We made that rule for Fez, but it goes for everyone!"

-

"Hey Donna," Eric said, flipping through another wedding magazine the next day. "When we register for our wedding, can we register for a trampoline? My mom won't let me have a trampoline."

Fez sighed. "If I had known about registering when I had married Laurie, I would have registered for a wife who wants to have sex with me."

"Eric," Donna said, chuckling, "people only register for the stuff that's used for serving, eating, and the clearing of the meal."

"Why is it always about eating?" He groaned.

"Because marriage signifies the end of trying to be attractive."

Kelso made a face. "Man, registering sucks. I had to register with Jackie for her sweet sixteen... longest five months of my life."

"Look," Donna said. "All I know is that you guys are gonna buy whatever wedding present we tell you, and none of this all going in on one gift crap."

"Hey, guys," Hyde said, coming into the basement. "I need your guys' help. You're talking about wedding stuff, yeah?"

Donna looked confused. "Yeah."

"Look, I need you to take Izzy with you for some wedding chores. She'll be down here in a sec, so I gotta say this quick. I need to get some of her paintings so Mrs. Forman and I can put together a portfolio for an art fellowship. I- It's a surprise for her. If she gets it. Which I know she will."

"Aw, Hyde, that's really sweet of you," Donna said. "But I think Eric and I can handle this on our own. Maybe Fez can take her to a candy shop or something?"

Hyde glanced at Fez, who was nodding quickly, his eyes wide. "Uh... I'll figure something else out," he said, beginning to pace. He opened his mouth to say more, but Izzy came bounding down the stairs, and the way her braids bounced with each step mesmerized him momentarily. "H- Hey, Izzy Bee!" He said quickly. "How's it going?"

She paused, then smiled brightly and sat in his chair before he could. "Great! I started working on my painting again, which is good. Now that Red's not in immediately-post-heart-attack shape anymore, I don't have to do as many chores around the house, meaning I can get back to work on some of my in-progress pieces."

Eric nodded. "That's great, Iz. Hey, I can't help but notice how you're not in your room right now," he said, looking directly at Hyde.

Izzy's smile fell slightly, but she shrugged it off. "O- Oh, do you not want me here? I can go back upstairs, it's no big deal!" She jumped to her feet, kissing Hyde on the cheek. "I want to test out my new watercolors anyway. Later, guys!"

Donna hummed. "You know, theoretically it shouldn't be this hard to get her to leave her room. Can't Mrs. Forman take her somewhere?"

"Nah, man. She's still working a lot these days," Hyde said, falling back into his chair.

"What about when she's baking sweets?" Fez asked.

Kelso nodded. "Or during dinner?"

Hyde set his chin in his hand. "Just made cupcakes the other day, she won't be baking again until Friday. I'll figure somethin' out."

-

"So," Izzy said excitedly, rushing into the basement, where Donna was sitting on the couch, "I begin mixing the watercolors for my painting--you know, the one of the-"

"The Norwegian fjord landscape painting, yeah I remember," she said, her focus elsewhere as she turned the pages of a wedding magazine.

Izzy nodded, grabbing a beer from the shower, and sat down in Hyde's chair. "Yeah! So, like, I'm mixing the colors and everything, and I accidentally made a color perfect to match your eyes. So then I was thinking about your wedding, and maybe you can incorporate that color into- ew, what is that?"

Donna looked up and saw that Izzy had craned her neck to try and see what was on the page. "That is the fork that Eric wanted to put on our registry. Isn't it terrible?"

Izzy made a face. "You can say that again," she paused. "Wait. Can I see the-" She took the magazine from Donna, looking closer at the words along the side of the big picture of the hoofed fork. "So this is, like, basically Bambi's foot. Jeez," she paused. "Oh, so this is the Cherokee collection. I overheard him talking to my dad about this earlier."

Donna looked confused. "What did he say?"

"Oh, you know," Izzy tossed the magazine back to Donna. She looked over and saw the expression on Donna's face, showing that she clearly didn't know. "My dad is such a... such a guy, you know that? When he and my mom were shopping for couches-"

"What does this have to do with-"

"I'm getting there," she said, holding up a finger. "As I was saying. When they were picking out couches, he purposely chose the most horrifyingly ugly couch he could find. Mom just thought he had bad taste, so she let him take five while she did all the hard work."

Donna's jaw dropped. "Oh my god. He just picked the bad one so he wouldn't have to go shopping!" She huffed and closed the magazine. "I knew something was fishy. He's terrified of deer." She crossed her arms. "Oh, he's gonna pay for this. He thought he had a bad time the other day? He doesn't know what a bad time is. I am gonna stop having sex with him- oh crap, I already did that."

Izzy took a sip from her beer. "I can take him shopping, if you want. Pull out the whole hippie artist chick side of me and convince him that I think you two need a total... non-conformist, flower child wedding."

"Oh, he'll hate that." Donna gasped. "That's perfect! Thank you Iz."

"No problem," Izzy laughed. "Anyway, it should be good looking at wedding stuff. I think Steven's starting to seriously think about getting married." Donna's eyes widened, and Izzy nodded. "Yeah, I know. He keeps insisting I tag along with you guys on all your wedding errands."

A look of realization dawned on Donna's face. "Oh. Oh, Izzy, I don't think he... shit."

"What?"

Donna paused. "Nothing. Uh... let's go tell Eric."

-

Izzy found Hyde and Fez in the driveway not too long after, and rushed up to them excitedly.

"Have either of you seen Eric?" She asked. "I just found out that, apparently, you can hire someone to paint the bride and groom's first dance as it's happening! How pretty would that be?!"

Fez grinned. "Very pretty indeed!"

"Steven, we're so doing that at our wedding."

"Oh, are we now?" Hyde chuckled, holding the basketball under one arm. "Okay, what got you so wedding-crazy?"

Izzy smiled brightly. "Donna asked me to go shopping with Eric today. I was thinking that maybe-"

"Oh, you're not gonna be home?"

Izzy paused. "Er... no?"

He looked at her, eyes wide. Then he looked at Fez. Then back at Izzy. "I gotta go!" He yelled, pushing the ball into Fez's chest, who gave a yelp.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Eric asked, walking past Hyde as he came outside to join the others. "Why's Hyde in such a rush? I haven't seen him move that quickly since Izzy got home from that weekend trip that one time." Fez leaned over and whispered something into Eric's ear, whose eyes widened. "Oh."

Before Izzy could ask what's going on, Donna walked up to them, fake distress all over her face. "Eric, bad news. A DJ at the radio station got sick, so I have to cover his shift all week. I'm not gonna be able to register for wedding gifts!"

Eric let out a large, fake groan. "No! Well, I guess we'll just have to live with whatever forks come in the mail, willy-nilly."

"Well actually, you're gonna have to shop for everything."

Eric's smile fell. "Look, Donna. I can't shop. I have horrible taste, remember? I guess I'm just bad at it..."

"You are almost unbelievably bad at it," she assured him, "and that's why your hippie-dippie sister is gonna go shopping with you!"

Eric's eyes grew to the size of saucers in horror, as Izzy smiled. "Oh, no no no!" He begged.

"Eric, calm down," Izzy said softly. "Look, I was thinking wicker wedding rings? All natural, straight from Mother Earth."

Eric looked at Donna in horror. "You- this is just- Hyde made you- ugh!"

-

"So, today we'll be looking at... crystal!" Fenton said, pulling out a little box full of silverware. "See how the different colors intermingle without any judgement?"

Izzy paused. "Was the crystal ethically-sourced?"

"It's crystal!" Eric groaned. "Not everything has to- it's literally silverware- I just- ugh!" He pointed to another set of silverware. "Can we just look at that one?"

Fenton nodded and pulled it out. "I see you've let the redhead go. I didn't know you were so..." He looked Izzy up and down. "Into yourself. Has anyone told you that you two look alike?"

The twins' faces turned bright red. "We're twins!" They said in unison, before making a loud sound of disgust.

Fenton held up his hands. "Alright, alright! This here's the fine china."