Izzy sat in the basement, laying down on the couch with her head on the armrest. She was bored out of her mind; Donna was off with Eric, Jackie was off with Nick, and the rest were crowded around Hyde, who was holding a Sports Illustrated magazine.

"Why would they even publish an issue that's not a swimsuit issue?" Hyde asked with a scowl.

"You know who should do a swimsuit issue?" Kelso asked. "Playboy."

"Why would you put clothes on a centerfold?"

Kelso walked around to Izzy. "You know, sometimes I get tired of all the complete nakedness. I like to be teased a little."

Izzy lifted her head to look at the boys. "You guys are gross."

"Not gross, Izzy-Wizzy. There's just a lot more goin' on up here than you know about." He said, sitting on the couch and letting her put her feet in his lap.

Hyde chuckled. "I think there's some stuff in there that you don't know about."

When Donna and Eric came through the basement door, they both had wide grins on their faces. "Hey, you two," Izzy said with a laugh. "Where'd you come from?"

"The arboretum," Donna said. "You guys totally should have come with us! We saw plants and trees from all over the world."

Eric nodded. "There was a bush from Morocco. Smelled like chocolate chip cookies."

"Ah," Fez said with a dreamy smile. "That is the perfect bush."

Donna turned to Eric. "Thanks for taking me to the arboretum, it was really fun."

He gave her a peck on the lips. "Yeah. What a great day."

As soon as the door was closed behind her, he practically fell to sit on the armrest next to Izzy's head. "What a horrible day! I don't mind looking at some trees, alright? But when they put little... little signs on them with latin names? Makes me wanna harm myself."

Kelso snickered. "So the missus took you out for some girl fun, huh?"

Izzy scowled. "That's so sexist."

"Izzy Bee, you wanna go to the arboretum tomorrow?"

Izzy thought for a moment. "Fine. Fine! You got me, Steven!" She watched as the guys all laughed at her. "Look, i- it's not my fault I just love hydrangeas."

Eric shook his head manically. "It was hell there, man. Everything was green, it was like a monochromatic netherworld."

Fez sighed. "See, Donna is hot, but she is mean. My girlfriend Nina? Just hot."

"You know, Fez," Hyde said, setting the magazine down. "You talk a lot about this Nina chick. But none of us have ever seen her."

Eric nodded. "Yeah, we're actually starting to suspect that she's some creepy alter ego you visit late at night in front of the mirror."

"I bet Steven ten bucks you named it either Ernie or Mackerel." Izzy said proudly.

"She did." Hyde agreed. "Then I reminded her that its name is Nina."

"Then I paid him ten bucks."

"Then I put it back in her secret money stash when she was sleeping."

"You did what?"

"Nothing. Go on Fez."

Fez sighed. "Nina is the real deal. Kelso saw her at the DMV."

They all looked to Kelso, who was immersed in the magazine, turning it all around to see it from every angle. "Uhh, I dunno. There were a lot of girls there. She coulda been the one with the lazy eye that does the vision tests."

"Lazy-Eye Lizzie?" Fez scoffed. "No way, she wouldn't even look at me."

-

"So!" Eric said. "We're finally gonna meet the mysterious--and possibly fictional--Nina!"

Most of the gang was hanging out in the kitchen the next day, joined by Kitty and the Formans' new puppy, Schatzi. The dog sat in Kitty's lap, letting Jackie and Izzy fawn over him as Fez told everyone about Nina.

"Fictional?" He asked, pulling his sweater down slightly to reveal his collarbone. "Does this hickey look fictional?"

Donna looked closely. "Huh. Looks too small to be from the vacuum cleaner like last time."

"Wait, lemme see." Jackie stood up and inspected the mark. "Small... blotchy... uneven... Ah, this girl's an amateur."

"Lemme see." Fez said mockingly. "Small, blotchy, and unpleasant. Yep, this girl's a Jackie."

Izzy laughed. "Well Fez, I'm very glad to hear that Nina is, in fact, a real human lady person."

"Me too!" Kitty laughed. "I was startin' to worry! But, you proved me and the experts from Reader's Digest wrong."

Fez's cheeks reddened. "When I introduce her to everybody, I just want it to be special."

"Ooh, I have an idea. Why don't we have a formal dinner party tomorrow? You know, it was at a dinner party that I realized Red Forman was more than just a boy with great hair!"

"Sounds good, Miss Kitty. Ah, you may be a little past your prime, but your mind is still sharp."

A realization dawned on Eric's face. "Actually tomorrow night's not gonna work. I thought we might go see Laser Floyd."

Kitty held her ground. "Well you just tell this fellow Floyd that you have a dinner party!"

"No, Mama," Izzy laughed. "It's a laser show to the sweet, sweet music of Pink Floyd."

Eric nodded excitedly. "Lasers! Like in Star Wars!"

"Mrs. Forman, we'll be there."

Eric paused, then turned to Donna. "Wait, you'd rather go to a formal dinner party?"

"Sure, sounds great." She shrugged.

"And don't forget, Mrs. Forman, you can count Nick and me in." Said Jackie. "I'll take any excuse to see him dressed up."

Izzy scrunched her nose. She still wasn't completely used to the whole Nick-Jackie thing yet, but she was getting there. "Steven and I will definitely be there, too."

Jackie nearly choked on her pop.

Oh no.

She still had yet to tell Nick that Izzy and Hyde had gotten together. See, at first, she wasn't ever planning on telling him. When she started going out with Nick, she never thought it'd get serious. He still thought they were just friends, and nothing more.

Then, when Izzy found out about their relationship, Jackie knew he'd be around them once in a while. In that case, she'd have to tell him.

She never did, though.

"And since it's a special occasion," Kitty said, pulling Jackie out of her thoughts. "You're all allowed one sip of wine!"

Eric sighed. "Alright, so it'll be like communion."

"But without the incredible fun of church." Izzy added sarcastically.

-

In the driveway that afternoon, the gang was all hanging out while Hyde and Izzy messed around with the basketball.

"Guys," Fez said, leaning against the Cruiser. "I really want Nina to like me, so please avoid the following topics at the dinner party: my addiction to candy, the fact that I have needs, and my use of Alberto Vo5 Hot Oil Treatment."

Jackie looked confused. "Wait Fez, what does she care what you use on your hair?"

"Oh, I do not use it on my hair."

Hyde caught the ball from Izzy and held it for a second. "What's this about a dinner party?"

Izzy waved him off. "Mom's having a thing tomorrow so we can meet Nina. I was thinking you could wear that blue blazer of yours, and I could wear my blue dress that's, like, kinda the same shade? But then I'd have to-"

"Whoa, whoa, wait. Why do I have to go?"

She paused, then laughed nervously. "Uh, don't you want to?"

"Not particularly."

Fez's eyes widened. "Come on, it's to meet my new lady friend."

Izzy sighed. "If you can think of a good excuse not to, then-"

"Red and I are gonna watch Battle of the Network Stars. I've never seen it before, but he says Ed Asner's gonna try to paddle a canoe."

Eric snickered. "Yeah, Dad looks forward to that shit all year long. Makes him 'feel superior.'"

Izzy thought for a moment. "Fine, Steven. I won't make you go if you don't want to."

"Thanks, Izzy Bee." He pulled her in for a kiss by the waist, making the others voice their disgust. "Ah, shove it." He said to them all, waving them off.

"So." Kelso said, strolling out of the kitchen with his arms crossed. "Heard all about your couple's party." He looked at them sideways, clearly trying to guilt them all. "And I'm glad I'm not going, cause I hate parties."

"Hey man, I'm only going cause Donna's making me." Eric said. "At this rate, the only way I'll see Laser Floyd is if they project it onto a leaf canopy at the arboretum."

"So don't go to the party." Hyde said. "Act tough, Forman."

"I'm... not tough."

"That's why I said act. Izzy's not makin' me go."

Izzy nodded. "Reluctantly, yes."

Jackie smiled, clearly proud of herself. "Nick agreed to go. He said as long as Mr. and Mrs. Forman are alright with him being there, he'd love to."

Hyde sneered at Jackie. "Well good for you two. Gives me even more reason not to go, I hate that guy."

Izzy sighed. "Kelso, Steven doesn't wanna go to the party, do you-"

"Really, Izzy Bee?"

She looked over at Hyde. "What? You don't want to go. Kelso's my friend, and he clearly does."

"I do not!"

"Yes, he does."

Hyde rubbed his chin. "Mkay." He said warily. He looked at Kelso. "But if you so much as touch her in the wrong way, I'll beat the hell outta you. And I'll go for the eyes."

Kelso grinned. "Kickass! I love parties!" He wrapped an arm around Izzy's waist as she laughed and threw her arms around him in a hug.

Jackie stood off to the side, thinking about how this could totally work out in her favor. If Hyde doesn't go, no one would have to tell Nick anything. She'll say that Izzy and Kelso are going as friends--which is true--and she won't be worried about losing him.

That's what this was all about for her.

She knew she was in the wrong when she said yes when Nick first asked her out. She knew she was breaking girl code and being a bad friend to Izzy, but she couldn't help it. What had started out as a feeble attempt at getting over Michael when he had gone to California...

It turned into something so much more, and so much faster than she had anticipated.

He had walked into the basement one evening, clearly looking for Izzy. What he didn't know, though, was that she had just left for California with Donna and Kelso. Eric, Hyde, and Fez were off at the Hub, and Jackie was waiting for them to get back, so when he walked in and saw her sitting there, on the couch, all alone...

-

There were a few short knocks on the door.

"Come in." She called out absentmindedly. She expected it to be Fez, he was the only one who really knocked anymore.

"Jackie?"

She turned her head to see who the trembling, unfamiliar voice belonged to. When she saw who it was, she looked surprised. "Nick? W- What are you doing here?"

"I..." He sniffed. "I got lonely."

With those three words, Jackie felt her heart nearly break in two.

"I was just thinking I'd find Izzy here a- and I could apologize. And-" his voice got quiet. "I want her back."

Jackie sighed and stood up, her hands on her hips. "She's not here. She's in California right now, and you'd better be glad she's in California, because there's no way she'd take you back."

"Why not?"

Because she's with Hyde.

"Because I'm her best friend-"

"I thought Hyde was her best friend-"

"And best friends don't let best friends get back together with their exes!"

He nodded, rubbing his nose. "You're right. You..." Another sniff. "You're right. I'm sorry I came down here."

She sighed and fell back onto the couch. "It's fine. Michael left for California too. He broke up with me and he left."

"Sorry to hear that." He paused, then laughed weakly. "God, relationships suck."

"Tell me about it."

There was a moment of silence, when a new feeling filled the room.

Is that... tension? Jackie thought, trying to feel what was happening.

She couldn't tell.

She looked at him, and, to her surprise, he was looking back at her. He cocked his head to one side, as if asking her, Do you want to? And, without a second thought, she jumped up and pressed her lips to his.

After a few minutes of just full on necking each other, Jackie broke off, the realization of what she had just done finally hitting her.

"Oh my god." She breathed.

"Oh my god."

"Oh my god! This is so wrong! You're my friend's ex-"

"A- And you're my ex's friend-"

"This goes against so many unspoken rules-"

"We can't do this-"

"We can't do this!"

There was another silence, as the two of them paced the basement. They finally stopped, Jackie at one end of the room and Nick at the other. She looked over her shoulder to see him running his fingers through his hair. He looked back at her, and she felt her cheeks flush.

"Oh, screw it, I'm too pretty to follow rules." She said breathily. "I make them." She walked over to him, and he met her halfway, and the two fell back onto the couch, her fingers tangled in his hair as they kissed.

-

So, needless to say, Jackie was worried about Nick seeing Izzy and Hyde together. What if he saw her, happy with Hyde, and realized he's still in love with her? What if he tells Jackie this whole thing was a ploy to get close to Izzy again before he kidnaps her and takes her to Siberia where they-

Okay, maybe not.

But now, if Izzy and Kelso were going to the party together, Jackie felt a little more at ease.

-

Izzy sat on the couch, comfortably in between Donna and Kelso, wearing the dress that Hyde helped her pick out the week before. She was hoping that he'd see her in it and decide to accompany her for the night, but he saw her, he just kissed her and told her to have fun.

So there she was, sitting with her friends, her parents, her brother, and her ex. At least Kitty had some conversation starters she used to help the discussions go easily. Or, at least, she thought they'd help.

"Okay, now! These are called after-dinner conversation cards. Let's try one!" Kitty laughed nervously. "If you were a bird, where would you fly? Donna!"

Donna's eyes widened. "Uh... south? I don't know, I'm nervous! I feel like I'm on Jeopardy."

Eric sighed. "If I were a bird, I'd fly to Laser Floyd."

"I'd fly to Tahiti!" Kelso said excitedly. "Cause the girls there don't wear tops."

Izzy laughed. "Okay, I'd fly to Tahiti, too. Ooh! Or France! And do some pretty bird art."

"Wait, Forwoman, we'd have to change back into ourselves. Cause no lady wants to make it with a bird, a- and birds can't hold paint brushes."

Izzy nodded, eyes wide. "You're right. Okay, Mama? Can we be monkeys instead?"

Kitty laughed nervously. "Okay..." She turned to Nina, who was sitting next to Fez on the piano bench. "Nina?"

Nina smiled politely. "I'd fly to my favorite place: the DMV!"

"I was just going to say that!" Fez said in awe.

"I'd fly to Cabo." Jackie said plainly. "I look great in a bikini."

Nick smiled at her. "I'd fly anywhere you fly." Izzy made a face at Kelso, who laughed obnoxiously in a very Kelso way.

Kitty laughed nervously and turned to Red, who was sitting in his chair. "Red, we haven't heard a peep out of you!"

"If I was a bird, I'd fly into a ceiling fan."

The group heard footsteps behind them, and they all turned to see Hyde walking into the room. Izzy and Jackie both gasped, and Izzy jumped to her feet.

"Steven! You came!" She ran to him and took his hands in hers. "What changed your mind?"

"I got hungry." He looked over Izzy's shoulder. "You're in my seat." He grabbed Kelso by the tie and tried to throw him off the couch, but it just came off in his hand. He looked down at the tie in disgust.

"Damn, Hyde! Now everyone knows it's a clip-on!"

Nick laughed. "Hate to break it to you, man, but it's been dangling half off all night." Hyde turned around and glared down at Nick, who immediately wrapped an arm around Jackie, half to protect her, and half as a silent beg for her to protect him.

"Okay, okay!" Kitty said cheerfully. "Let's try another card! Um... if you could be anyone's shoe, whose shoe would you be?"

Donna chuckled. "Well, I wouldn't want to be Hyde's shoe, cause I think it's about to go in someone's ass."

"That's it." Hyde mumbled. "I'm watchin' Battle of the Network Stars. Red, you comin'?"

Red stood up. "Oh, thank god."

"Yeah. You know what? Me too." Eric said, standing up as well.

Donna's eyes widened. "Wh- You're leaving?"

"There are lasers going off right now! Perfectly synchronised lasers! And all of a sudden you're like- like- like Lady Dinner Roll, shakin' me down with her naughty places!"

"I'm going too!" Fez announced. "Apparently, you can eat a man's food, Nina, but you cannot fix his parking ticket!"

Nick stood up slowly, pulling Jackie up by her hand. "I don't really wanna go, but I really don't want to be left out."

Jackie smiled. "Okay. Have fun, baby!"

"I love you!"

"I love you more!"

"Oh my god, gag me." Donna huffed, making Izzy laugh.

Kitty turned to Kelso, the last man standing in the living room. "Wh- What happened to my dinner party?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Forman, but Marilu Henner only gets on a trampoline once a year, and I'm not gonna miss it!"

-

In the kitchen, all the girls were working together to wash the dishes while simultaneously airing out their troubles.

"Where the hell does Eric get off acting like I make him do stuff?" Donna asked, handing Izzy a plate to dry. "I mean, it's not like I wanted us to come to this dinner party, either! I only did, cause-" She froze when she remembered she was standing next to Kitty. "Well, you're all menopause-y now and you scare me!"

"Right! You came for me. Just like I slaved over a pot roast for all of you." She put her hands on her hips. "You want a definition of hell? Try opening a four hundred degree oven while you're having a hot flash!"

"We're all here for someone else." Nina said. "And you know why? It's right there in front of us, girls! Women are giving."

Jackie scoffed. "I'm not giving! I'm here for me."

Izzy scowled. "Shut up, Jackie. You're the only one here who doesn't have boy troubles right now."

"Um..." Jackie's cheeks reddened. "Well, about that," She stood up from her seat at the table, hugging her arms to herself tightly. "I kind of, may or may not have, but definitely have but have not haven't told Nick that you and Steven are dating."

Izzy paused. She set down the plate she was drying. "Wait. You've confused me."

"I haven't told him you two are dating!"

"What?!" All the other girls said at once.

"I know! I know, it's bad. I've just kept putting it off, but I promise I'll tell him tonight."

Donna scoffed. "Yeah, you'd better!"

"I'm sorry Izzy, I-"