"Steven, I'm telling you! Beards are out." Izzy whined, following Hyde through the kitchen.

Jackie nodded, sitting at the table. "Yeah, I mean, look at Malibu Barbie! She can date anyone she wants. But she's with Malibu Ken. Why? Because Malibu Ken doesn't have a beard. Of course, in this scenario, Izzy is Barbie and Steven, you're like... the Dreamhouse plumber." Hyde rolled his eyes and grabbed a pop from the fridge.

"Not much help, Jackie. Besides, Malibu Ken already has a beard, and it's Barbie."

Hyde chuckled. "Agreed. No straight man wears shorts that short."

Izzy turned back to him. "Please, Steven? We've let the beard thing run its course, and I think it's time you shave it off."

Hyde took a swig of Coke and paused. He took a breath, and for a moment Izzy thought he was going to give in. Then, he just said, "No can dosville, baby doll."

"Steven!"

"Welp," Said Kelso, who was leaning against the counter. "Here it is, the beginning of the end for you two. Yeah, I remember when Jackie's and my relationship got to that point, where all she did was boss me around."

Eric gave Kelso a shit-eating grin. "And that only lasted, what, six years?"

"Hey! He's a better man for it!" Jackie yelled.

Izzy sighed and took Hyde's Coke from him, setting it on the counter so she could hold both his hands in hers. "Come on, Steven. I miss being able to see your face." She paused. "And kiss your cute lil cheeks."

There was a notable sound of disgust that came from the others in the room, but Izzy just ignored it. Hyde, however, did not. He thought for a moment, then exhaled slightly. "I do miss that."

"So you'll-"

"Nope."

"Jackie, sweetie," Kitty said, entering the room. "We just got a phone call and you're needed at home, so why don't you grab your coat and Mr. Forman will give you a ride."

Jackie stood up, confused. "Do you know what's going on?"

"No, I don't know anything." As soon as Jackie was out of the kitchen, Kitty turned back around giddily. "I know everything!" She came over to the kids, who all huddled up to hear her talk.

"You know how Jackie's father is a city councilman? Not anymore. He just got arrested for bribery, he could go to prison!"

"Well, I'm glad." Red said, standing behind Kitty, who jumped slightly. "That guy makes republicans look like a bunch of crooks and greedy businessmen."

Eric snickered. "Yeah, well thank god for the honest ones like Richard Nixon."

Red froze. "What did you say?"

Immediately, Izzy and Hyde reached for each others' hands, prepared for Red to start yelling. The others looked bewildered, but quickly they realized the effects of Eric's words.

"I- I said that... Nixon was framed, and Kennedy was a commie?"

"That's right! And what else do you have to say on the matter?"

Before Eric could respond, Donna stood up suddenly. "Hey guys, why don't we all go down to the Hub?"

There was an immediate murmur of agreement, and everyone rushed out through the sliding glass door. Izzy noticed Eric was frozen in his spot, so she grabbed his forearm and pulled him away from Red.

-

Once they were comfortably sitting in their usual booth at the Hub, Fez strolled in, a big smile on his face.

"Guess what?" He asked excitedly.

Donna grimaced. "Ugh, no one answer that, it's always about boobs."

"Oh come on, don't you want to know what I have to say?"

"Man, I never know what you have to say." Hyde said. "I mean, in your head you're speakin' English, but when it comes out it's all buzzes and clicks."

Izzy laughed. "Fez, I'd like to hear your news."

Fez perked up and sat down in the empty seat, smiling a silent thank you to Izzy. "Well, I must have been speaking English to the SATs, because I got a thousand points!" Izzy raised her eyebrows. "Oh, and last night on cable I saw four boobs."

"Hey, that's great Fez!" Izzy paused. "Not the boobs thing, the SAT thing." There was another pause. "Well, the boobs thing, too!"

"Wait, so the SATs are in?" Eric asked. "Donna, did you see your scores yet?"

"Yep! This morning. I got a 1230."

"Wh- a 1230? That's great! Why didn't you say something?"

Donna shrugged. "Well, I didn't wanna brag. I mean, yeah I kicked ass... but it's no big deal."

Izzy laughed. "Well, it just so happens that I know your score, Eric."

"You saw our scores?!" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah, ours and Steven's were on the kitchen counter this morning. They accidentally put yours and mine in the wrong envelopes. You know, like the time the doctor's office accidentally diagnosed you as anemic because our files got switched."

Donna turned to Izzy, eyebrows raised. "You're anemic?"

"Mhm. Moving on," Donna and Hyde shared a confused look. "I know your score. And I'm willing to tell you... if you go buy me some Pop Rocks."

Eric scowled. "I can just go home and get the letter, you know."

"No, you can't. I threw them away, I don't think you or I want Dad seeing those."

This piqued everyone's attention.

"Wh- why?" Eric asked. "What did I get?" Izzy shrugged. "Iz, come on, what did I get?"

"Dunno. I think some candy will jog my memory, though."

Eric groaned and went up to the Hub counter to get Izzy her Pop Rocks. While he was gone, Hyde looked down at Izzy, grinning. "Extortion. Far out." She laughed and kissed him. "So what'd you get, Izzy Bee?"

Izzy shrugged. "I need candy before I disclose any information."

Fez grinned. "I like the way you think, mama."

Soon enough, Eric returned with the candy. He tossed the package to Izzy, who fumbled to catch it. "Okay, now tell me my score. If it's bad, I- I gotta know now so I can cover my ass when we get home."

Izzy poured some Pop Rocks into Hyde's mouth, giggling at the sound they made. When Eric saw she wasn't paying attention, he leaned over and snapped his fingers in her face several times. She jumped back to face him. "You got an 800, now quit it!"

Fuck.

Eric sat back in his seat.

"An 800? That's it?"

Hyde shook his head. "Forman, man, the SATs prove nothing. I mean, I got a 950, and I don't even have textbooks. Or a locker."

Izzy looked up at her boyfriend. "You got a 950? Steven, that's great!"

"Yeah, imagine what I could do if I only applied myself." He thought for a moment. "Oh well, guess we'll never know."

"Just... I can't believe I got the lowest score here."

"Well hold on a second," Donna said. "Iz, what'd you get?"

Izzy paused. "Uh... What'd you score again?"

"1230."

"Then I got a 1200. Mhm." Izzy nodded awkwardly, putting more Pop Rocks in her mouth.

"Really?" Hyde asked, not fully believing her. "What were the individual scores?"

She pointed to her mouth, which was full of the fizzy candies. "Mm. 'An't talk, 'outh full."

"Damn." Eric mumbled. "800."

"Well Eric, someone had to come in last." Fez said, trying to cheer him up. "There is no shame in that!" He cocked his head to one side. "Well, there is a little shame."

"Hey!" Donna scolded Fez. "Who cares what anyone got, it's just a stupid test."

Eric stood up. "You know what? You're right. I don't care."

Right then, the door to the Hub flew open, and in rushed Kelso, holding his scores above his head.

"I got a 1030!" He yelled, making Eric whine and fall back into his seat. "I did good on a test, man! Something's happenin' to me- I'm bloomin' like a flower! Whoo!"

-

After the gang had finished up at the Hub, Izzy and Hyde were the first to return home. They walked into the kitchen, laughing about Kelso and his test scores, and when they turned, they saw Kitty pulling a pie out of the oven.

Izzy laughed. "What's with the pie, Mama? Someone coming over?"

Kitty jumped up and took off her oven mitts excitedly. "Ohh, Isabelle! No no, no one's coming over! It's for you!"

Izzy froze. Her cheeks turned a bright red, not unlike the color of her dress that day. "No. No, Mama, please. No celebrating."

"Why not?! We have to celebrate! Isabelle, when something worth celebrating gives you the opportunity to be celebrated, you celebrate it!"

Hyde chuckled. "What are we celebrating, Mrs. Forman?" Izzy shot him a look of 'Why must you do this to me?' To which he just winked at her.

"Isabelle's test scores! You know, when I was cleaning out the refrigerator, I almost dumped some old food on top of them--why were they in the trash?" Before Izzy could respond, Kitty waved her hands. "Nevermind that, but when we read Eric's, we were so excited. We thought an 800 was super! And then, when we saw yours-"

"Mama, please-"

"Yours was super duper!"

"Oh my god, we're going downstairs." Izzy whined, grabbing Hyde's hand. She tried to pull him through the room, but he stayed put.

"No wait! Mrs. Forman, maybe we should put a big 1200 on the pie," He snickered, trying to tease Izzy. "Putting her score right on top in glittery pink sprinkles will definitely make her happy."

Kitty looked confused. "1200? No no, Isabelle didn't get a 1200. She got-"

"We're leaving!" Izzy yelled, going behind Hyde and pushing him into the hallway towards the stairs.

He scowled. "Izzy Bee, wh- what are you doing?"

"I don't want a pie with pink sparkle sprinkles!" She huffed, taking his wrists in both hands and leading him down the basement stairs.

He stopped at the base. "Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my Izzy Bee?" She just rolled her eyes and sat on the couch. He sighed and in his chair, leaning his elbows on his knees to look at her properly. "What'd you score?"

She shrugged and picked up a magazine.

"Izzy Bee..."

"I don't wanna talk about it, okay?"

He held up his hands. "Okay."

The basement door opened, and in walked Fez and Kelso, who was holding a book two inches from his nose. Fez took his usual chair, and Kelso sat down next to Izzy on the couch, not taking his eyes off the book.

"Kelso, what the hell are you doin' with a book?" Hyde asked, leaning back in his chair.

Kelso didn't look up. "Reading."

Izzy and Hyde looked at each other, then burst into laughter.

"I am reading! Cause what good is brains if you've got nothin' up here?" He pointed to his head.

Izzy giggled. "Kelso, first of all, it's 'what good are brains,' and second of all, your noggin's been empty for seventeen years, why break that streak now?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Well, I'm learning how to clean this-" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a fake-looking gun.

Izzy jumped a little. "Okay, no guns in the basement, Kelso."

"Nah, it's just a BB gun! I'm not that stupid, Izzy-Wizzy."

Hyde scowled. "Man, don't make me shoot you with that."

Eric and Donna came down the basement stairs and immediately Eric's eyes landed on the gun. "What's with the gun, Trigger?" He asked as Kelso put the barrel up to his eye to try and look through it.

Kelso groaned. "God, you guys, relax! It's not a gun, it's a BB gun. I lost it when I was, like, ten. But I found it this morning, buried in my backyard!"

Donna looked confused. "Why were you digging in your backyard?"

"Uh, dinosaurs. Man, it's like you guys never listen when I talk! I'm smart now! Watch the news, Donna!"

Izzy sighed. "Eric, what'd Dad have to say about your scores?"

He shrugged. "Yelled at me for a few minutes, then Mom asked how Jackie's doing." He paused. "Man, I can't believe Mr. Burkhart might go to prison."

Fez nodded sadly. "It's a tragedy. My father was sent to prison."

Donna's eyes widened. "Whoa. Really?"

"Indeed. It led to a life of drugs and prostitution."

"What?"

"Yes. Then his pimp killed him, but the medical examiner found a tiny hair and he solved the crime and he sent the pimp bastard to the chair!" He said in one breath.

Eric snickered. "Fez, that was last night's episode of Quincy."

"Oh." Fez deflated a little. "I didn't know you watch that show."

"Yeah," Kelso said, stretching his arms out. "This is rough stuff Jackie's goin' through." He set an arm along Izzy's shoulders, who just laughed. "She'll come runnin' to me, though! Ole Faithful!"

Izzy raised her eyebrows. "Kelso, Jackie's with Nick now."

"Maybe. But we have history. So, when she needs a shoulder to cry on, she'll rest her head on these broad babies." He looked at Fez and nodded. "Feel 'em."

Fez reached over and felt Kelso's shoulder. "Rock hard, amigo!"

"Come on Izzy, feel 'em."

Hyde scowled. "Izzy, don't lean on his shoulders, they're all bruised!"

Kelso looked confused. "Where?"

Hyde stood up, slugged Kelso in the shoulder, and sat back down, very nonchalant. Kelso, on the other hand, yelped like a little girl and clutched his shoulder. "Man, I should really see those comin' by now!" Kelso giggled.

The basement door opened, and in walked Jackie, looking distraught. Kelso stood up with open arms and a wide smile. "Aw, Sweet Pea, I'm here for you!"

"Izzy, my dad's going to prison, what am I gonna do?" Jackie cried, walking straight past Kelso and falling into Izzy's arms, who looked surprised, but quickly wrapped her arms around her.

Izzy sighed. "It's gonna be okay, Jackie."

"Promise?" She sniffled.

"Promise."

Fez grinned. "Okay, now kiss!"

"Fez!" Izzy yelled.

"Wow," Kelso breathed out, flipping through the book. "Now there's something I didn't know. They number every page!"

-

Hyde sat on Izzy's bed that night, admiring the work-in-progress painting that was leaning against the wall. She was off somewhere else in the house, but he was determined to find out why she was avoiding telling anyone her SAT scores.

She had made it a point that evening not to let Red or Kitty say them aloud, and the celebration pie--without any sparkle sprinkle numbers--was eaten in silence due to Eric's score still looming over the room.

"Steven?"

Hyde looked up to see Izzy standing at the entrance to her room. He gave her a smile, and she went to her dresser, chuckling. "Didn't expect you to be up here this late." She took her dress off and pulled on her favorite Zeppelin shirt, the one she had taken from Hyde's house two years prior.

He laughed. "Sorry, are you getting ready for bed? I can go downstairs."

"No, no." She mumbled, sitting down next to him. She kissed him softly. "I love it when you're up here, you know that."

He smiled and grabbed her pajama shorts from the ground and handed them to her. She kissed him, said a small "Thanks, love," and put them on.

She got up to sit in his lap with a leg on either side of him. Putting her hands on his cheeks, she turned his head from side to side. "Hm."

"What?" He said with a smile. "What's goin' on in that head of yours?"

"You know what's going on."

He took one hand off his face and held it in his. "No, tell me."

"I want you to shave."

He chuckled. "Yeah, that's what I'm up here about." He brushed a lock of hair out of her face. "I know you don't wanna tell me your scores. And you know I don't wanna shave-"

"Agreed; Where are you going with this?"

"If I shave my beard, will you tell me your scores?"

-

"Hold still!" Izzy giggled, clutching the razor.

Hyde couldn't contain his own giggles. "You're holding the razor like a butcher knife!"

"Because I'm about to kill your beard, you doofus!"

"You're the doofus!"

She laughed and kissed him, smiling into the kiss. She had the collar of his shirt held tightly in her hand, half to keep her balance and half to keep him close to her. She was sitting on the bathroom sink as he stood in front of her, his face covered in shaving cream.

When he said, "Put this shit on my face," she took it literally. Between laughs, he had to get a towel and wipe the shaving cream from his forehead and from his nose, where Izzy thought it had to go.

"You've shaved before!" He had said, picking some out of his eyelashes.

"Not my face!"

He looked at her, suppressing a laugh. "Damn, you're cute."

And now, where they were at, with her holding him close, the giggles were still present. He set his hands on her waist, pulling away from the kiss. "Stop laughing!"

"You're laughing too!"

"Do you want my beard gone or not?!"

"Okay!" She quickly composed herself, biting her lip to keep from laughing. His cheeks flushed a bright red, and he couldn't help but think about how goddamn lucky he was.

-

Afterwards, Hyde had gone back downstairs to say goodnight to Kitty and Red, making them think he was going to stay in his room. The two had both expressed way too much joy upon seeing Hyde's clean-shaven face, so it took them a long time to say goodnight.

When he was sure they were back in their room for the night, he carefully walked back up the stairs--avoiding the creaky step at the bottom--and slowly opened Izzy's door. He climbed into her bed, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back against him.

She laughed and turned onto her other side to face him. "Hi there." She said quietly.

"Hey."

She couldn't help but smile, and Hyde admired the little dimples that showed when she did. She reached up and touched his face lightly.

"I take it you're happy?" He said softly.

She squealed a little bit and peppered kisses all over his face. "So very!"

He laughed and kissed her slowly. When they parted, his voice was barely audible. "So what'd you score?"

Her smile faded. She sighed and turned onto her back, snuggling into the crook of his arm. "Promise not to make a big deal out of it?" She asked meekly, looking at the ceiling.

"I promise."

"I got a 1460."

His eyes widened. "Holy shit."

She laughed breathlessly. "I know. Good, right?"

"Good? That's fucking great, Izzy Bee!" He said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Why didn't you-"

"I didn't want Eric to feel bad."

He paused, then nodded. "Oh."

"I just... He knows I'm a good student. It always sucks when I come home with As, and he... doesn't," she paused. "I don't know. I feel like the bad guy. Mom and Daddy always fawn over my grades, and I wish they'd do the same for Eric once in a while."

He nodded. "I get it."

"I mean, he's a good student. He's always been a good student. But... I feel bad, cause because of me, good just isn't good enough."

"It's not because of you, Izzy Bee-"

"It is. And then Red yells at him. And then Mom gets stressed out," she turned to look at him. "I just didn't want that added pressure on top of his already bad score. Y'know?"

He chuckled. "You're too good of a person for this shitty town, Iz."

She smiled.

There was a silence in the room.

"Hey." Hyde said finally.

She looked up. "Hm?"