Izzy climbed back up the stairs, quickly mentally preparing herself for Red to kill her, while trying not to make it obvious what had just happened in the basement. Hyde walked upstairs a few steps behind her, admiring his view from behind.

When they got to the top of the stairs, he turned to her. "Ready?"

She laughed breathlessly and nodded. "As I'll ever be."

He leaned down for a slow kiss, trying to drag out the last moment the two of them had in peace. She giggled when their lips parted and took his hand in hers, leading him towards all the others in the other room.

"Oh. Izzy Bee, wait."

They stopped in the threshold of the living room, and he tugged slightly on the buttons of her shirt to make her face him. "Your shirt. Button the-"

Izzy looked down and noticed the top buttons of her blouse were all mismatched. "Oh. Yeah."

"Yeah, and don't forget the- yeah- the top button. Okay. You're good."

"Isabelle!"

Izzy and Hyde's heads snapped over to where Red was standing, pointing at the empty spot in the couch next to Eric and Donna, whose jaws were dropped open. They were watching Izzy and Hyde, and the way Izzy was walking, and the way she kept absentmindedly flattening her hair. All that, along with both of their flushed cheeks, meant only one thing.

"Isabelle, sit down!" Kitty said shrilly.

"Steven, what the hell are you doing up here? Go back downstairs!" Red yelled.

"Yes, sir!" Hyde said quickly. Before he could walk away, he wrapped an arm around Izzy's waist, pulling her close. She let out a little squeal as he did, but quickly shut up when he pressed his lips to her one last time.

He pulled away, opened one eye, and saw Red standing there, fuming. He coughed once.

"Good luck." He said quietly before rushing downstairs.

Izzy meekly walked past her mother to sit down next to Donna, who, along with Eric, were looking at her with wide eyes.

She looked over at them and, running her fingers through her hair to tame it, said, "What's up with you two? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yeah, the ghost of your virginity." Donna whispered.

Izzy's eyes widened. "How did you-"

"Of all the dumbass stunts you kids have pulled," Red said, turning the kids' attention back to him. "This little California adventure takes the dumbass cake!"

"We are very disappointed in you two." Kitty said, looking between the twins. "Even though going to California to rescue Donna is one of the most romantic things I've ever heard of!"

"That's true!" Bob said. "If he woulda gone by horse, they woulda made it a movie."

Donna stood up slowly. "Look, Mr. Forman? Before you get all scary and pink, I just want to say that running away to California was completely selfish and immature."

Izzy nodded and stood up with her. "A- And avoiding my problems is a really dumbass-y thing to do, and that I should man up and face them head on."

Eric joined the girls on his feet. "And, as for me, as long as I live under your roof and eat your food, I should be doing things your way."

There was a pause. For a moment, the kids thought they had gotten away with it. Then...

"What a load of crap."

Nevermind.

"You three are not above the law. Now Eric, hand over the keys to the Vista Cruiser."

Eric froze and moved a hand protectively over his pocket. "What? Dad, no. The Cruiser's my Batmobile! Without it, I'm just a guy in a silly outfit."

"Now, Eric." Eric sighed and handed Red the keys.

"Little time apart will do you and Donna some good." Bob said. "So Donna, I transferred you to the Catholic high school. Her Lady of Perpetual Sorrow."

Donna's jaw dropped open, and Izzy immediately started busting up laughing. Everyone turned to look at her as she clapped a hand over her mouth.

Kitty crossed her arms. "Don't go laughing too soon, Isabelle. We enrolled you there, too."

Her hand dropped.

"What?!" Izzy said, standing up. "You can't- I just- no!"

"I can! I just! Yes! Start repenting, Isabelle Forman!"

"Mom!"

Bob nodded. "You two start this week, so you better get out your bible and brush up on your Ten Commandments and that thing about those dwarves!"

-

"Catholic school?" Kelso groaned as the group was sitting in the basement. "That's rough. Yeah, my dad took away my slingshot, so I'm feelin' it pretty bad, too."

"Gee Kelso," Eric said. "What a harsh punishment. You must be dying."

"I am!" He sat down on the couch next to Jackie. "Okay look, Jackie. We've been avoiding each other. I think it's time we hash this thing out."

Jackie smiled and patted his knee. "It's okay, I'm good."

"I can see you're devastated over losin' me." He stretched, setting an arm around her shoulders, to which she quickly ducked away from.

"You know what, Michael? I'm fine. Really."

He nodded. "You sound brave. But inside, you're a scrambled mess. Just remember this: I'll always be there for you, if you ever need any physical needs."

Izzy scowled and leaned over, punching Kelso in the shoulder. "Ow! Forwoman, what was that for?"

"You're a skeeze."

"Fair."

"Wait, Donna," Jackie said. "You're actually gonna go to a Catholic school?"

Donna nodded. "Yeah, Izzy and I start next week."

Hyde turned to Izzy, who took her seat in his lap. "You're going to Catholic school?" She said nothing, but nodded. "Oh my god, ew."

"Okay, but it's not just any Catholic school." Donna said. "Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. That means sad forever." She set her hand atop Eric's, who was sitting next to her on the dryer. "Eric, we're never even gonna see each other."

"Yeah, I know. And I can't even drive you to school. And we can forget about any lunchtime hokey pokey." Eric said. "That's what it's all about."

Hyde nodded. "Yeah, sucks not having a car." He paused, then turned to Izzy. "I'm still gonna drive you though, okay?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

The phone rang, and Izzy picked it up. "Forman Catholic School, Pope Isabelle speaking." She paused. "Hello?" No answer. "Hello?" She set the phone back onto the receiver and shrugged. "No one was there."

Jackie's face was pale. "Um, you know what? I just remembered that I have to go to the mall, because they're having this big Monday Madness sale!"

Donna chuckled. "Jackie, it's Tuesday."

"See? Total madness!"

"Poor kid." Kelso said after the door had closed behind Jackie. "Trying to replace me with shopping.

Donna sighed. "Seriously, what are we gonna do? I mean, if Izzy and I go to this school, our senior year is ruined. We're not even gonna graduate together!"

Eric stopped and turned towards Donna. "You know what? They are not sending you two to that Catholic school. Now, we're gonna sit down and figure out what to do. Guys, let's get serious!"

-

Izzy coughed once, then started giggling as she leaned into Hyde's side. "I don't wanna go to a Catholic school." She mumbled, burying her face in Hyde's shirt.

Hyde chuckled and set a hand on her head, passing the joint to Eric. "What'd your mom say when she told you?" He made his voice high and shrilly to mimic Kitty. "Start repenting, Isabelle Forman!"

Izzy laughed. "I'm sure she was this close to singing church hymns right then and there."

Eric giggled. "It's simple. I'm gonna march over there and talk to Bob. I love a good march. Hey Izzy, our birthday's in March."

She nodded. "Then it's onto April. April showers."

"Ooh. The Seduction of Eric Forman, starring the insatiable April Showers!"

Donna looked at Eric dreamily. "Are you really gonna go talk to my dad for me? Eric, you're so sweet and brave! Pound for pound, you're like the bravest guy in the whole world. I love you so much!"

Izzy turned to Hyde. "Are you gonna talk to Red for me, Steven?"

"What? Hell no. I like living here for free, thanks very much."

"Something is up with Jackie." Fez said, snacking on his candy. "She looked scared. Like a deer in the headlights with his pants down."

Kelso shook his head. "Man, I feel sorry for Jackie. I mean, to have to look at this all day and not be able to touch it? I can't even do that!"

"I love you." Eric said to Donna.

"I love you more!"

The two started making out, and Fez wiggled his eyebrows. "Sexy."

"Hey! You two quit it, okay?!" Kelso said, leaning over the table to pull the two away from each other. "The Circle is sacred, you don't do anything in here that you wouldn't do in a church." He paused. "Wait, in a cemetery! Wait, in the teacher's lounge- damn, I've done it everywhere!"

-

The girls all sat in Jackie's room the next afternoon, watching as Jackie picked up a shoebox.

"This is my Michael Box." She explained. "I saved everything that loser ever gave me." She pulled out a rubber chicken. "One year anniversary. Ugh, what a moron!"

Donna chuckled. "Wow, I guess Kelso's really history for you, huh?"

"Yeah, Jackie." Izzy said. "I never imagined that'd happen unless you met someone else." Immediately, Jackie's eyes dropped to the floor. Donna and Izzy shared an excited look.

"You met someone else!" Donna said.

"Oh my god! You totally met someone else!"

Jackie's eyes widened. "What?! Pfft, someone else... that's crazy! You're crazy." She paused. "Shut your piehole!"

-

After going shopping for school uniforms, Eric and Donna walked down the basement stairs. Izzy had stayed with Hyde at the store, as he insisted she should try on every school uniform they could find.

When they opened the basement door, though, what they saw was the last thing either of them would have guessed.

"Jackie!" Donna yelled.

Eric looked traumatized. "I'm blind!"

The two couldn't see his face. All they could see was Jackie, laying on the couch, underneath a tall figure with dark hair.

"Oh my god!" Jackie mumbled. "Get off me." She huffed, pushing the guy off of her.

She sat up, and he found his place next to her on the couch, looking at Eric with wide eyes. At first, Eric didn't put two and two together who it was kissing Jackie on his basement couch.

Donna did, though.

"Oh my god, Nick?!"

He laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. "Hi, Donna. Eric."

"Oh my god!" Eric yelled.

"Oh my god... what exactly did you see?" Jackie asked.

Eric's eyes were wide. "Hands. Tongues. Yours. His. On my basement couch, it was horrible!"

"You were like siamese twins, joined at the... pleather jacket!" Donna said, motioning towards the brown jacket Nick was donning.

"This is impossible."

"Izzy is gonna freak out!"

Eric gasped. "Izzy."

"It's okay!" Nick said quickly. "It's okay. Cause, um..." he looked at Jackie, who nodded at him in reassurance. "We're gonna tell her soon, we just... don't know when."

Eric's jaw dropped. "Oh my god, you just have a thing for secret relationships, don't you?! First my baby sister, and now my... now... Jackie?!"

"Wait, Jackie," Donna said. "Why did you bring Izzy's ex into her basement? You have a bedroom."

Nick sighed. "My fault. I was in the neighborhood, and I called to see if she wanted to hang out."

"You called?!" Eric yelled. "Have you spoken to my parents?!"

"No!" Jackie said quickly. "He only talks if he knows I'm the one picking up the phone. And if I don't, and someone else picks it up, thinking no one's on the other line, I know to call him back."

"That's so elaborate." Eric paused. "Oh my god. That's what happened the other day, with Izzy."

Nick's cheeks went red. "Yeah. I... I didn't expect her to pick up."

"It's her house!"

Donna shook her head. "Damn, you two. You really got a whole system figured out here, huh?"

Jackie grinned. "Thanks, I made it up."

"It's not a compliment, Jackie! Now, Izzy and Hyde will be on their way back any minute now, so Nick, I really think you should leave!"

Nick nodded and stood up, extending a hand out to Jackie. She took it and let him help her to her feet. "We'll be, uh... at my place." She said to Eric and Donna. "Please, just- don't tell Izzy anything, okay? I want to be the one to tell her."

Eric didn't say anything. He was too busy trying to glare daggers at Nick.

Donna shook her head. "Fine. But don't bring him back here until you do! What if it was Izzy and Hyde walking through that door, instead of me and Eric?"

Nick's eyes widened. "That would not be good."

"No the hell it wouldn't!" Eric yelled.

-

"Here's what I don't get about Fantasy Island." Kelso said, once the whole gang was comfortably in the basement. It was Izzy and Donna's first day at their new school, and their boyfriends were eagerly awaiting their return. "You know when you get off the plane, and you see Mr. Roarke, and that little kid in the white suit?" Everyone just looked at Kelso confusedly. "Well if it's me, I'm like, 'This is creepy,' right? So, I just grab a free daiquiri, and I'm outta there!"

The basement door opened, and when Izzy and Donna came in, both dressed in their Catholic school uniform, all the boys in the basement started jeering and clapping.

The two girls laughed, and Donna shook her head. "Grow up, it's just a uniform."

Fez nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Hyde said.

Izzy nodded. "You guys are so immature." She reached up and pulled out her updo, shaking out her blonde curls.

This, obviously, set off another round of jeers and clapping.

"Man, that was totally worth waiting for!" Kelso grinned, taking a Coke out of the flat that was sitting atop the dryer.

"I agree." Fez said. "Now we can go."

"How was your first day?" Hyde asked Izzy as she sat on the armrest next to him.

She shrugged. "I met a very Aryan-looking boy who offered to whisper bible verses into my ear every night."

He nodded. "Cool, cool. Did you take him up on it?"

"Hm, I haven't decided yet. His braces did get a little spit on my ear when he tried, though. Wanna feel?"

Eric laughed, and looked over at Donna. "What about you? How was your day?"

"Grim! Izzy didn't even get into the half of it. This nun totally spanked us with a ruler."

This stopped Kelso and Fez from leaving the basement. Kelso looked back with a wide grin, and Fez's jaw dropped open.

"Yet another reason I wish I was a ruler." Fez mumbled, before the two of them finally left.

Hyde looked over at Izzy and set a hand on her knee. "So. You, uh, you wanna sit on my lap and-"

"Not in this outfit."

He threw his head back and let out a childish whine. "But Izzy Bee-"

"Nuh-uh."

"That's half the fun!"

"Hell no!"

Donna looked over at Eric. "Aw, how cute. The newly-deflowered couple is already into weird stuff."

Eric made a face. "Oh my god, Donna. That's my sister."

Hyde furrowed his brow. "Wait, how do you two know that we..."

Donna laughed. "Are you kidding? When you two came upstairs afterwards, it was so obvious!"

"Okay, how?" Izzy asked.

Eric chuckled. "Come on. The red cheeks, the buttons on the shirt-"

Donna nodded. "The walk, the hair-"

"Oh my god, it was that obvious?" Izzy groaned.

Hyde grinned. "Nice."

Izzy leaned over and hit him on the back of his head. "You doofus! My parents were in that room, they probably-"

"Oh, no." Eric said. "Don't worry, they were both way too mad to make logical sense. I coulda been drinking a martini with a blunt in my hand, and they wouldn't have noticed."

Hyde looked at Izzy, eyebrows raised. "See? They didn't notice, Izzy Bee."

She chuckled. "Well forgive me for being worried."

He looked her up and down. "I think I know a way I can forgive you."

Izzy raised her eyebrows, challenging him. Eric and Donna shared a concerned look.

In an instant, Hyde stood up, picking Izzy up and throwing her over his shoulder. She kicked his chest, laughing, and he carried her into his room. He threw her onto his bed and poked his head out, grinning. "See you later, guys."

Eric and Donna looked at each other, then at the same time ran for the stairs to get the hell out of there.