《that's life » s. hyde》[44] everybody loves casey

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In the Forman kitchen one afternoon, Hyde walked in to find Eric making a peanut butter sandwich.

"Oh, hey!" He said, taking a bite. "Get this! Casey just came by to pick up Donna, and he was out in the street just, y'know, revving his Trans-Am real loud? And then he peels out in the street and he started doin' donuts. And then, out comes Donna all smiling and, like, looking at him!"

Hyde gasped sarcastically. "What a slut!"

"Look. If she wants to date him, that's fine. But he doesn't have to be all loud and jerky about it." Eric sighed. "Jerky, loud, donut jerk."

The sliding glass door opened, and in walked Kitty, Izzy, and Red, all of them carrying grocery bags. "Oh, guess what, boys," Kitty said excitedly. "I entered the big wiener contest at the Piggly Wiggly. And I won a year's supply of all-beef hot dogs!"

Izzy giggled. "She's a wiener winner." Hyde and Eric both started to laugh, but quickly stopped when they saw the looks on Red and Kitty's faces. Izzy sighed and handed her grocery bag to Hyde. "Anyway, we're having a barbecue tomorrow."

"We're having a barbecue!" Kitty repeated, an ecstatic grin on her face.

Red groaned. "No, girls! I thought we were going to talk about that."

"Mhm," Kitty said, completely ignoring her husband. "Oh, and I saw Donna at the grocery store, and she said she's bringing her friend Casey."

Eric's head perked up. "What? No! I hate Casey. He's Donna's new boyfriend. Y- You have to uninvite him. Dad, tell her!"

Red huffed and turned to Kitty. "Kitty, you've done a horrible thing. It could scar the boy for life. Now, let's do the right thing and cancel that barbecue."

"No. We're having it, and it'll be fun. And... we just- we won't give Casey any relish!"

Hyde grabbed Eric's sandwich. "Alright! Once Casey finds out he's not getting any relish, he'll dump Donna for sure." He laughed loudly. "You are so screwed!"

-

"So your mom invited Casey over for hot dogs?" Fez asked Eric, sitting next to him on the basement couch. "Well that's a plump, juicy all-beef burn."

Kelso shook his head. "Ah, it's just typical women stuff. Like Jackie kissing that guy- Ow! Hyde!" Kelso rubbed the part of his arm where Hyde had punched.

"I've decided if anyone brings up any more stupid girl stuff I'm gonna throw something at 'em." Hyde said. "This time, I threw a fist."

As if on queue, Izzy came bouncing down the basement stairs, kissing Hyde on the cheek as a quick greeting. "Steven," she said, sitting on the couch's armrest. "I was thinking we could check out that new little cafe down the road? Buddy said they've got great sandwiches, maybe we can go the day after the barbecue."

"Yeah, sure." He said with a smile. "That sounds great, Izzy Bee." Hyde looked over to see his friends all staring at him. "I said stupid girl stuff. She isn't stupid."

Kelso sighed. "Everything reminds me of that kiss, man. Like, last night Rocky was on, and I was thinking that I'm like Rocky and Jackie is Apollo Creed. And she bashed in my face by kissing that guy!" He paused. "At least Rocky wins in the end."

"Kelso, Rocky loses."

"Oh, yeah? Well, why is he jumping around all happy?"

"Because he goes the distance, fool." Fez said.

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Izzy nodded. "He loses the fight, but wins in life."

Eric laughed, then looked wistfully into the distance. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Who wants to watch a movie with a message like that?" Kelso crossed his arms. There was a moment of silence, and then the gang all heard the jingle of bells coming from outside. "Ice-cream man!" Kelso jumped up and ran, nearly stumbling over his own feet, out of the basement.

Eric sighed. "You guys, I've been thinking about Donna. And I-" Hyde cut him off by throwing a magazine at him.

"This time I threw a magazine."

"Steven, why are you throwing things?" Izzy asked.

"Uh... don't worry about it."

"No, seriously, you guys!" Eric said. "This barbecue might work out in my favor. You see, Donna's only seen Casey around his smelly, tattooed, Molly Hatchet-lovin' friends. But when he comes to the barbecue, he'll be around us... good, clean, Lynyrd Skynyrd-lovin' Americans."

Izzy scowled. "I don't like Lynyrd Skynyrd."

Hyde looked at her. "Oh my god, you serious?"

"Regardless!" Eric had a smug smile on his face. "The comparison between us will not be kind to him."

"And then Donna'll come running home to you." Hyde scoffed.

"No. Well, maybe. Y'think?"

Izzy sighed. "Eric, you already know what I'm gonna say about this."

"Well yeah, good thing I asked Hyde and not you." He chuckled. "Don't you just love hanging out all the time with your boyfriend, oh, and your brother?"

Izzy stopped. She let her hands fall into her lap.

Hyde noticed this, and picked up one of her hands in his, tracing shapes onto the back of it. "So, Forman, instead of pounding Casey like you should, you came up with this zany scheme. You've officially turned into Daffy Duck." He nudged Izzy and did his best Daffy Duck impression when he said, "You're dithpicable!" He watched with a slight smile as Izzy laughed, but couldn't help but notice how the laugh didn't quite reach her eyes.

"You know, I have lady problems too." Fez ducked as Hyde threw a ball at him. "Rhonda won't let me get past second base. I even said please. Magic word, my ass!" Hyde threw another ball and, this time, hit him. Fez, not missing a beat, picked it up and threw it back.

-

The next day, Izzy busied herself by taking on as much responsibility for the barbecue as she could. She cooked the hot dogs, she prepped all the dressings, anything she could do to distract herself, she was doing.

Ever since that argument with Eric, she couldn't stop thinking about what he said. About how dependent she was on her relationship. About how she had trouble being alone with Hyde, but she also couldn't help but feel like she needed him. She thought maybe it was the fact that their relationship had been years in the making. Everything led up to the moment they got together, so...

Now what?

Well, the answer was simple to Hyde. Be happy.

He had been waiting for this, and he knew that Izzy was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And, of course, Izzy knew that too. She knew she had never been happier than she was with Steven. But she didn't want to just be someone's girlfriend. She wanted to know that she could be brave all on her own. Make her own choices, be the one deciding what to do and where to go.

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So that started with hot dogs.

"Izzy! Come on, Casey and Donna are almost here." Hyde said, wrapping his hand around her wrist and leading her in the direction of Eric and Fez. "Let's watch Forman make a fool of himself."

"Steven, I don't really want to-"

"Come on, it'll be fun!" When they got to the two boys, they were going over what was about to happen.

"Okay, Fez," Eric said, spotting Donna and Casey a little ways away. "When Casey gets here, ask him for advice about your second-base problem. My advice is gonna be way better than his and then, uh... Donna will see that he's a greasy dolt."

Hyde snickered. "Hey, Forman, I have an idea. Set up a wacky system of ropes and pulleys and when Casey gets here, drop an anvil on his head."

Fez giggled. "Because that's what Daffy does."

"Yeah, I got that." Eric said quickly.

Donna and Casey walked up, and Izzy couldn't help but notice how Casey's arm was a little too low down Donna's back.

"Hey, guys."

"Hey, Donna!"

Casey gave Eric a crooked grin. "Hey, Foreplay. Getting a little shaggy up there, buddy!"

He ruffled Eric's hair, who swatted his hand away. "Okay- Well- That's enough of that!" Casey set his hand back on Donna. "Okay. So, uh... Hey, you guys are just in time! Fez was telling me about, uh, some kind of problem you're having with Rhonda?"

Fez nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. Rhonda won't let me get past second base, and I really want to explore further."

"Hm." Eric tapped his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. "Gosh. Well, I don't know, I think if you're patient, and you're respectful, then when Rhonda's ready, she'll, uh... she'll wave you over."

"Well, thank you, Eric. That is very gentlemanly advice."

"Gentlemanly? Well, uh, guilty as charged, I guess." Eric laughed smugly. "Hey Casey, what do you think?"

Casey smirked at Donna. "Well, sometimes a seasoned lady like Rhonda's gotten used to the usual order of things. So, I think the next time you're fooling around just, uh, skip second and go right to third."

Eric's eyes widened. "What?!"

"It's genius!" Fez said in awe. "No wonder you never get any, Eric."

Hyde grinned and wrapped an arm around Izzy, pulling her close. "Sounds like good advice, huh?"

She gave him a half smile and pulled out of his arms. "No, thanks."

Donna chuckled. "Yeah, but with Rhonda, you know, that just might work."

"W-Wait, you like that?" Eric asked.

"Well, the words are wrong..." She looked up at Casey with a dopey grin. "But they sound so good coming out of his mouth."

Casey gave them another crooked grin. "I got a way about me."

The two walked away, and Hyde leaned towards Eric and, in his ear, said, "That worked out... thuper."

-

Eric ran up to Izzy later on in the afternoon, when she was fixing up the condiment table. "Izzy! I need a hot dog to offer Donna."

She sighed. "Gee. If only there was a plateful of hot dogs right over there that you could utilize to its fullest potential."

Eric grinned. "Cool. Thanks."

When Eric left, Hyde walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. "Hey, Izzy Bee. Wanna go watch some more Forman-Pinciotti prime time entertainment?"

Izzy sighed and picked up the mustard bottle. "I don't want to think about the real world, Hyde-"

"Hyde?" He asked, not used to hearing her call him that.

"I just wanna... think about hot dogs right now."

He chuckled and kissed her neck. "Oh?"

"Hyde. My parents are right there. Talking to- oh my god, why is Eric making them talk to Casey?"

She pushed her way out of Hyde's arms and rushed over to Eric, who was introducing Casey to Red. "Eric? Why the hell are you-"

He leaned over and whispered, "Dad's in a bad mood, the neighbors drank all his beer. Hey, Dad, meet Casey!"

Casey held out his hand for Red to shake. "Pleasure, sir. Hey, maybe I can help. I always keep a spare case of beer in the Trans Am. Little tip I picked up in the army."

Red turned back to Eric, a smile on his face. "I don't know. Seems like a pretty good kid."

"Uh-huh!" Kitty said, completely enamored with Casey.

Izzy laughed. "See, Eric? That's called karma."

Donna nudged Izzy. "Come on." She said, and the two walked over to the Formans' outdoor seating, where Hyde was leaning against the wall. "Hey, Hyde."

"Hey." He raised an eyebrow. "So. You and Casey, huh?"

That seemed to strike a nerve with the redhead. "Look, Hyde, whatever you heard about Casey, he's changed now. He- He's mature."

Hyde scoffed. "Oh, yeah. He's real mature."

"Well, I like him! We're together, and if you can't deal with that, then you can just go to hell!"

As Donna stormed off, Hyde yelled, "Hey, that's not barbecue language, young lady!"

Izzy turned to her boyfriend, a scowl on her face. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" He asked, laughing.

"You know she really likes..." Izzy paused, her mind moving rapidly. She looked down and realized she was still holding the mustard bottle. "Nevermind, Steven. I've gotta run to the corner store and get more mustard."

"That bottle's still half full." He pointed out with a breathy laugh, taking it from her hands.

"Yeah, well... half full is half empty, y'know?" She took the bottle back. "I'm gonna go get the keys to the Cruiser."

"Hey, I can take you, you know."

"That's okay, really."

"Come on." He said, running his hand up and down her arm. "We're never alone anymore."

Izzy paused. Yeah, she thought, that's not even half the problem.

His jaw clenched. "Just... Izzy Bee. Let me take you to the store please."

"Okay." She nodded. "If... you'd like that, then let's go."

"Yeah, I- I would."

The car ride was quiet, except for the melody of Going to California coming from the radio.

-

The next day, Kitty was serving lunch to Hyde, Fez, Red, and Izzy.

"Okay, everyone!" She said, her cheery tone helping Izzy keep a smile on her face. "Here's lunch. Hot dog soup!"

Hyde groaned. "No more hot dogs! I'll just... eat the grilled cheese."

Izzy giggled. "You mean, grilled cheese with hot dogs."

Red huffed. "Kitty, for God's sakes, I ate fourteen hot dogs yesterday!"

"Well, what do you want me to do, Red? They're everywhere. They're a curse on this house!"

"Oh, fine." Red stood up from his seat. "Let's make some calls. Maybe we can unload the damn things on a nursery school."

The two left the kitchen just as Eric came in. "You guys, I've let this thing with Casey go way too far."

"Yeah, no shit." Izzy mumbled.

"Donna's pretty far gone, man." Hyde said. "She's starting to lash out at people at barbecues. You gotta kick his ass, man!"

Fez chuckled. "Hyde, Eric cannot beat Casey with his fists. He's a special boy who must beat him with his special strengths. Now, let's think. What are Eric's special strengths?" He thought for a moment. "He is tiny. If there was a television show called Get Into That Box! And you were going up against Casey, Eric, you would beat him." The others shared a confused look. "He would be too big, the box would break!" He said, as though it were obvious. "Ah, I would watch that show."

Eric furrowed his brow. "Okay. That was great. Guys, I'm going over to Casey's. And I don't know what I'm gonna do. But if things get physical, I'm just gonna have to drop the hammer."

Hyde nodded. "And if all else fails, kick him in the stones and run like hell."

"I think that's what he meant." Izzy said, laughing.

Eric gave them a nervous smile. "Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. Totally."

-

In the circle that evening, Kelso was studying the hot dog in his hand. "Well, me and Jackie are officially over."

Izzy's eyes widened. "Really? Shit, Kelso, I'm sorry."

"Yup. We're as done as this hot dog." He took a bite and made a face. "This hot dog isn't done!" He paused, then shrugged and took another bite.

"Well," Eric said, "if kicking Casey's butt is the same as babbling at him from a safe distance then, boy, did I do it!" He laughed, then his smile dropped. "But seriously, you guys, the days of Daffy are over. It's time for action. I'm goin' Road Runner on his ass. Meep, meep!" He faked a punch at Izzy, who burst out laughing, "Pow!"

Fez nodded. "Good. Because thanks to his stupid advice, Rhonda dumped me. I tried to steal third, but she blocked me and choked me. Now there is no more baseball for Fez. It's back to handball."

"Girls, man. They'll make you miserable."

"Steven!"

"What?!" He paused. "Oh yeah, we have a date." He turned to the boys and said in his Daffy voice, "Tho long, thuckerth!"

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