"So, everyone enjoying dinner?" Kitty asked. Everyone murmured in agreement. Joining the Formans at the table that evening were Kelso and Hyde, both of whom were invited by Kitty. "Good. Now, I'd like to talk to everyone about helping me with the church fundraiser!"

Everyone shared an Oh, shit kind of look, and they all started to get up, but were quickly pushed back into their seats by Kitty. "Freeze! Okay, so," Kitty laughed. "God's Magic Circle is our church's women's auxiliary, and I volunteered to help organize their next fundraiser."

"And bravo, I say!" Eric said sarcastically. "Bra! Vo! Now, if you'll please excuse me, I have to attend a meeting." He stood up and locked eyes with Kitty, who raised her eyebrows and gave him that Mom look. "It's uh... it's very important, so... okay, fine!" He reluctantly sat back down and Kitty gave him a satisfied smile.

"Now, as you all know, um, I'm stuck in a rut." She laughed awkwardly. "And I really just need to get out of the house and experience new things!"

Izzy looked up from her food. "Uh, Mama, I think you should-"

"And! I want your support. Which, by the way, I always give you. Miss Hippie Artist Girl."

Hyde snickered. "It's chick, Mrs. Forman. Hippie Artist Chick." Eric and Kelso started laughing, and Izzy just leaned back in her chair, pouting until Hyde put his hand on her knee. Very quickly he could tell she was holding back a smile.

"I don't wanna go!" Eric whined.

"Eric, if your mother wants you, and Jughead, and Archie and Betty here to help her, then you're going to help her."

"You're Jughead." Hyde whispered to Kelso.

"You're Jughead."

"You're so Jughead, it's not even a debate about it."

"You are so Jughead! I'm Archie." Kelso hit Hyde on the arm.

Hyde scowled and hit Kelso on the back of the head. "If Izzy Bee's Betty, then I'm Archie!"

"Steven!" Red said. "Stop hitting Jughead." He waited until Kitty was listening. "This is important to her. And we should support her for this. So you four should help her out."

Kitty smiled. "Well thank you, Red. And you're coming, too."

"Oh no, Kitty. I have a, uh, a meeting." Kitty scowled at Red, and he sighed. "With you, at church."

"Nice save, Dad." Eric said, with a shit-eating grin.

-

"No, Fez, see, Bazooka Joe wanted to see time fly, okay?" Caroline explained as the whole gang sat in the basement. "So Mort threw the clock out the window. So time flew. Get it?"

Fez gave her a confused look. "Did the clock break?"

"Well, no. That's not really the point."

"That seems like a pretty big waste of a clock."

"Okay! Well, I gotta go." She stood up, getting her jacket. Fez followed her to the door. "See you later, sweetie."

"See you." Fez said sweetly, giving her a kiss before she left.

"Aw, you guys are such a cute couple!" Jackie fawned.

"Yeah, I know." Donna said. "I really like Caroline."

"Me too! She's nice."

Hyde scoffed. "For a psycho."

"Hyde, take that back." Fez said.

Hyde responded by miming blowing up a balloon, then letting the air out. "Ssss... psycho!"

Izzy giggled, standing behind Hyde and leaning against his chair. "You're a very gifted mime, Steven."

Fez sighed. "I cannot argue with that. But that hurts!"

"Caroline's not a psycho." Donna said reassuringly. "Hyde just doesn't get women." She turned to Hyde. "We have emotions. We're ruled by the tides."

"Hyde gets Izzy." Fez said.

Hyde grinned. "That's true, I do."

Izzy laughed. "That's true, he does."

"We should hang out with Caroline." Donna said. "You know, to make her feel welcome."

"Yeah, you can never have too many friends." Hyde said sarcastically.

"Hey, you guys, you know who was crazy?" Eric asked excitedly. "This camp counselor I once had. He made everybody do turbo sit ups, but he put a towel over your face, and then when you went to do the sit up-"

"He pulled the towel away and you had to put your face in his butt." Donna laughed, finishing Eric's story.

"Donna! You stole the funny part." Eric whined.

"Eric, I've heard it, like, eight times." She paused, seeing his hurt expression. "Okay, I'm sorry. Tell the story again. I'll laugh."

"But it'll be fake though, right?"

"Oh yeah."

Eric paused, then turned back to the group excitedly. "Okay, you guys, I once had this camp counselor-"

He was cut off, though, by Kelso slamming the basement door open, out of breath. "Oh my god, you guys! The Petersens just got a new dog!" He paused, and everyone gave him a funny look. "Let's go!" No one went. "Fine!" Kelso ran back out, slamming the door behind him.

-

When the time came for Kitty's fundraiser, the Formans found themselves in their stuffy church clothes, standing around a bunch of do-gooders. Izzy tugged on the collar of her dress uncomfortably.

"How's it hangin', Izzy Bee?" Hyde asked, walking up to her.

"This damn dress is so uncomfy."

He smiled slightly. "Isn't that the, uh... the dress you wore to your birthday party?

Izzy looked down at all the little green and white flowers. "Yeah. I hate this dress."

He chuckled. "That makes one of us."

Izzy opened her mouth to reply, but was quickly cut off by Kitty rushing over to the group. "Okay, now, I have work assignments for everyone. Red, you're selling raffle tickets-"

"I'm your man!"

"And don't yell at the customers."

"I'm... kinda your man!"

"And smile."

"You need another man!"

Kitty sighed. "Okay, um, Michael, Steven, you're in charge of Bingo. Isabelle, you're doing arts and crafts-"

"Do I really have to make bead jewelry with a bunch of old ladies?"

"Yes! And Eric, I thought you could run the cake walk!"

Eric nodded. "Sure, what's a cake walk?"

"It's cake. And walking." Red said. "What are you, on dope?"

As Red walked away, Pastor Dave walked up. "Ooh, Pastor Dave! What do you think?" Kitty asked nervously.

"Gosh, Kitty! I'm impressed. I can't remember the last time a God's Magic Circle fundraiser looked so... gosh darn wonderful!" He looked over at the kids. "Hiya, gang!"

They all replied in a monotonous voice, "Hi, Pastor Dave."

"Say, God's Magic Circle. That sounds like an Eric Clapton song. Doesn't it, kids?"

"Yes, Pastor Dave."

"Rock on, kids!"

"Rock on, Pastor Dave."

-

Izzy sat at the arts and crafts station, bored out of her mind. Kitty made it out to sound like Izzy would be meeting cool old people, getting to talk about art with them, but it ended up being a place for the elderly women to sit and knit, or crochet, or embroider, while their husbands gambled with fake money.

Eventually, Izzy sat in the corner of the booth and picked up an embroidery wheel of her own, beginning to stitch some flowers onto the cardigan she brought.

Some time passed, and when nearly half her sleeve was full of colorful flowers, Hyde ran up to her.

"Izzy Bee! Izzy Bee!" He said, tapping her head repeatedly.

"Yes, Steven?" She asked, giggling.

"Do you like Pop Rocks?"

Izzy paused, thrown off-guard by the random question. "Uh... yeah? Why?"

"Kelso and I found a way to get whatever we want from the bingo winner stash!"

Izzy's eyes widened. "Are you two stealing? Steven! This thing is really important to my mom!"

"No! No. Not stealing. Kelso wanted to, but I knew you'd get mad at me. So we're rigging the game."

"Oh." Izzy paused. "Well, at least there's honor in that."

"Right? Okay, so I'll bring you back some Pop Rocks." He kissed the top of her head and ran back to the Bingo station, leaving her cheeks bright red.

"Boyfriend?" A voice to Izzy's right asked.

"Hm?" Izzy looked up to see a very spunky grandma sitting next to her. She was tall and thin, with dark hair like Jackie's and wearing an emerald green cable knit sweater.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to bug you. You and your boyfriend just remind me of my own boy and his wife."

Izzy gave her a faint smile. "He's, uh, he's not my boyfriend."

"Oh. Gay?"

The blonde laughed. "No, definitely not."

"Then what's wrong with him?"

Izzy thought for a moment, then let out an exasperated sigh. "Nothing! Absolutely nothing's wrong with him, he's perfect."

The lady smiled and held out her hand, which was covered in rings and jewels. "I'm Zelda."

"Izzy."

Zelda laughed. "I gathered as much, from when your not-boyfriend came over here." She tilted her head to one side and set her embroidery in her lap. "Is your middle name Bee? Because that's strange, but lovely."

"Oh, no... He just calls me that."

"What's his name?"

"Steven." Izzy said, with a smile tugging at her lips.

"You're smiling just from his name." Zelda gave her a knowing look. "Tell me your story. Everything, I want to hear it all."

So Izzy told her. She told her everything.

Starting with the first day they met, to the day Hyde learned how to dance for her. From the time they held hands while walking into third grade together because Izzy was nervous, to the time they painted a pot leaf on the water tower together. Izzy told her everything.

"And then yesterday, I sat in his lap--I do that a lot--and he played with my hair--he does that a lot--and I could barely keep myself from absolutely swooning! I mean, there just aren't enough words in the English language to describe how perfect he is, Zelda. I wish there were, but there aren't."

Zelda listened to the whole story, from beginning to end, never faltering. "Well, darling. It sounds to me that he's just as smitten as you are, if not more. My son was just like him. A hard shell on the outside, but underneath all the rock and roll, the greased hair, the leather jackets-"

"Is your son Fonzie?" Izzy giggled.

Zelda waved her hand, dismissing the question. "He's a sweetheart. And a softie, when it comes to his wife. She's a lot like you, too. Has those big, hopeful eyes. Don't ever lose that spark, Izzy."

Izzy smiled. "I won't. I just..." She threw up her hands in frustration. "I don't know what to do! I feel like I'm at a standstill. We're stuck in this same routine, day in, day out. I sit on his lap in the basement and at the Hub and in the car, and then he talks about going out for chicks-"

"Does he ever bring any home?"

"Any what?"

"Girls, darling. Girls, does he bring any girls home?"

"Oh. No, he always says he struck out, or there weren't any available, or something. I try not to listen when he talks about other girls. It just... hurts."

Zelda placed a hand on top of Izzy's. "Darling, he's not bringing girls home because of you. From the sounds of it, he'd do anything for you."

Izzy's voice was weak. "How do you know that?"

Just then, Hyde ran up, tapping Izzy's shoulder repeatedly. "Izzy Bee, Izzy Bee, Izzy Bee!"

She gave Zelda a tight smile and turned to Hyde. "Yeah?"

"Here." He took his hand in hers and opened her fingers, placing a Pop Rocks package in her palm. He then closed her fingers around it and kissed the top of her head once more. "Kay, bye!"

Izzy and Zelda watched as he rushed back to the Bingo station.

"Darling, you are completely blind. Or an idiot, I don't know, I just met you. But either way, you need to realize that that boy is just as in love with you as you are with him."

Izzy watched Hyde across the room, and when she accidentally caught his eye, he gave her a dorky smile and a two-finger salute.

"I sure hope so. Otherwise I'm gonna look real stupid."

"Everyone acts stupid when they're in love."

-

"Hey Iz." Eric said, walking up to her. "Woah, cool sweater."

She looked down at all the flowers that adorned her cardigan sleeves. "Thanks!" She said brightly. "How's the cake walk going?"

Before he could answer, Kelso and Hyde came up to them, boxes and boxes of toys, candy, and other crap in their hands. "Hey." Hyde whispered. "We won everything!"

Izzy furrowed her brow, but smiled. "You rigged every bingo game?"

"Noo!" Kelso said. "We're just... supernaturally lucky!"

Eric looked worried. "Yeah? Well, I've got some bad, bad news for you. For every one donut I get, Donna gets eleven."

"Eric, what's that supposed to mean?" Izzy scowled.

"It means... a storm's a-brewin'."

"Eric!" Kitty said, coming up to the group of kids. "How could you leave the cakewalk? Just look at those people." Izzy looked over at the cakewalk to see several elderly persons walking in a circle, sadly and slowly. Her attention was brought back when Pastor Dave walked up to them.

"Kitty, how's everything going?"

Kitty pasted a fake smile onto her face. "Just great! Everything's great!

"Did you kids buy a raffle ticket? Third prize is a rock and roll record. John Denver's greatest hits, it fills up your senses!"

As he walked away, Izzy picked at her nail polish. "I love John Denver." She said sheepishly.

"Of course you do." Eric mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing, baby sister."

Kitty sighed. "I ask for one day of help and this is what I get?"

"Uh..." Eric looked over at Red, who shrugged. "Yeah."

"Oh, wonderful." Kitty said sarcastically. Izzy just watched in amusement as the boys were scolded. "I started in God's Magic Circle and ended up in Satan's evil... square! I can't believe any of you boys can walk into a church without bursting into flames!"

"Kitty, we're-"

Kitty waved her hand, cutting Red short. "Okay, you know what? Just leave. And please," she held out her hand. "Leave your ill-gotten gains."

Red handed her his tickets. Kelso and Hyde put the prizes down on the table. They left with Red and Eric, and Izzy followed them, grabbing the Rock'em Sock'em Robots.

"Kelso won these, they're his!" She mused, walking out.

-

Later on, in the Formans' kitchen, Eric, Izzy, and Red were sitting at the table, waiting for Kitty to get back. When she did, they all got up and started sweet talking her as she headed towards the living room.

"Hi Mom!" Eric said. "We're sorry!"

Red nodded. "Very sorry!"

Izzy just smiled. "Welcome home, Mama. Sorry about them."

"I love you so much, Kitty!"

"Yeah, Mom! Love you!"

Kitty stopped in front of the door. "Okay, you know what? Just stop. I'm not mad at you."

"What? You're not? Well, that's just not fair." Izzy said, jumping to sit on the counter.

"No. On my way home, dreaming about marrying some other guy, and having his children, I, um, I realized that this is all my fault."

"Alright!" Eric cheered.

Red held up a hand. "Wait, this may be a trap."

"No, Red. I shouldn't have forced you to come with me, when all I really wanted was to do something for myself."

"Look, Kitty, I'm sorry." Red said. "If there's anything you want to do, you should do it if it makes you happy, and we'll support you... by not going with you. Would that be good?"

Kitty smiled. "Yes. Thank you Red."

"You're welcome." He gave her a short kiss, and Kitty walked into the living room.

"Wow, you and Mom." Eric said, amazement in his voice. "You were fighting, and then you made up. And you've been married for, like, a million years." Red smiled slightly and nodded. "That fills my heart with hope."

Red rolled his eyes. "That's it. You're going into the army." He walked into the living room, and Eric turned back to his food.

"You know, Eric..." Izzy said, swinging her legs and picking up her mug of cocoa. "I sat at that boring ass arts and crafts station all day. It really wasn't difficult to just not leave, bonehead!"

"I... You try having an existential crisis about your girlfriend mid-cakewalk!"

"Eric, I have existential crises about Steven every day."

He was quiet for a moment. "But... he'd let you have more than one donut!"

"So would Donna! You're just a stupid, overthinking boy."

"What are you talking about? You're a stupid, overthinking chick!"

Izzy grinned and raised her mug. "Never said I wasn't."

-

Izzy walked into the basement that evening to see Fez, Donna, and Jackie all sitting on the couch, in the middle of an intense conversation.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Izzy asked, sitting in Hyde's chair.

"Caroline." Donna said.

"Oh yeah, you two hung out with her earlier. What do you think of her?"

"She was scary. Really scary, okay? Exorcist scary!"

"Fez, you have to break up with her!" Jackie said.

Fez waved her off. "You two are overreacting. She is a little loony, but she would never hurt you."

Just then, Caroline came in. "Hey, Fez!"

"Hello, my beautiful girlfriend." Caroline went and kissed him on the head, standing behind him. Jackie and Donna gave each other a look, nodded, and put their hands on Fez's legs. Caroline's smile quickly dropped and she grabbed their wrists harshly.

"We've been over this!" She yelled. "Touch Fez and die!"

Fez stood up quickly. "Caroline, what are you doing?! These are my friends!"

"Oh, really?!" Caroline's eyes widened and she walked up to Fez, their faces close together. "Well, did they shoplift thirty dollars worth of markers and write your name over every inch of their room?! Every inch! Did they?"

"Umm..." Fez turned to the girls. "Did you guys do that?"

All the girls' eyes were as wide as saucers. In unison, they all yelled, "No!"

Fez turned back to Caroline, a nervous smile on his face. "Well, uh, there you have it. Um, Caroline... I have to break up with you?"

"Why?! And don't say it's because I'm crazy, because I'm not crazy."

"Oh!" He started laughing uncomfortably. "Oh no! Of course not. It's just cause... It's just, um... Izzy and I are in love!"

"What?!" Caroline yelled.

"Oh my god." Izzy mumbled, making a face.

Fez grabbed her hand and pulled her off the couch, shoving her in front of him. "Yes, we are freaky for each other. Please, Izzy, tell her please!"

"What if she tries to kill me?" Izzy whispered.

"Hyde will kill her."

Izzy looked between the two for a moment, then planted a huge kiss onto Fez's mouth. They kissed and groped each other for a few moments, and then she pulled away, nodded, and fixed her dress.

"Oh my god, you're really breaking up with me?" Caroline asked.

Fez looked nervously at Izzy, who nodded. "Uh, is that okay?"

"Fez," Caroline stood a little straighter. "I just want to say that you will never be as happy as you were with me. Ever! And, until you realize that, I'll be seeing you. And by I'll be seeing you, I mean I'll be watching you. But you won't know it." She paused. "Except I just told you so you do know it. But this. Isn't. Over!" She whipped her head around, her hair hitting Fez in his face, and exited the basement.

Fez breathed out a sigh. "Woo! Sure am glad that's over!"