"hey, you okay?" i called out into the bathroom one more time making sure that fezco was alive. he had been in the shower for awhile just standing there motionless.

he didn't answer my question, but ask for me to join him.

so, i did just that mostly out of fear though.

fez took my arm pulling me towards him underneath the warm water. he laid his head down on my shoulder.

"i've never been like this before." his words muttered past the water.

"like what?"

straightening his body posture, gripping my face with both hands. it wasn't tight, but i couldn't move freely if i wanted to.

"i want you to myself, for myself and only me. i was going to kill nate behind you. it's just- it's just you don't know what you do to me, ryder. honestly."

my body begin to tremble his words were cold, sincere and honestly terrifying.

"i wouldn't want you to kill anyone, fezco. i'm yours, always." i reassured him before leaving the shower.

•

michael thought it was best that i distract fez from the incident earlier. mentally i was tired, but i tried my absolute best.

"i've never been anywhere outside of the state." ashtray continued to watch the group of travelers take pictures in front of a statue.

"really? well, if you could go anywhere, where'd you go?" i passed my blunt over to fezco who was enjoying his outing with us.

ashtray shrugged his shoulders, "i don't really know much about other places."

taking a deep inhale fezco stopped walking.

ashtray and i looked at the direction he was looking at and he made eye contact with maddy.

she fiercely walked towards us pushing him as hard as she could.

"how could you do that to nate?! you're literally fucking psycho. you're just mad because i wouldn't fuck you." maddy shouted.

i stepped in between them, "yooo, this is my man. we not going to approach him like that. come correct." we stood eye to eye.

she had a frown, but i had a smile.

"who do you think you are? hm? aren't you a drug dealer? aren't you a depressed fucking whore?" her words cut deep, but i knew mine would cut deeper.

"you're mad, it's okay. i get it, but hey, look tell nate not to fucking come around my house to fuck anymore. i'm happily taken and i can't, nor want to have sex. thank you."

she rolled her eyes leaving for her friends she ditched to come talk shit.

the three of us continued to walk down the street watching the drunk people dancing and sing, but none of us said anything.

fez's phone started to ring meaning he had a couple sells to make. "ay, i'll meet y'all back at the house." without letting us know anything.

"i say we go eat out, have dessert then go home and play games." i offered to ashtray knowing that he couldn't deny.

"ooh, there's this really nice place at the corner of the next block." we practically ran there since we were both starving.

everyone was dining in expensive clothing, dressy shoes and accessorized in elegant fashion.

ashtray nearly choked.

"we're both in hoodies and sweatpants. you really think we're about to be allowed inside that place?" his eyes was filled with doubt.

i had a few words with the hostess and owner who owed me a favor. he gave us to our own booth section free of charge. "no fucking way. you know these people?"

i just smiled and agreed.

we had such a good time eating food that was not worth the prices, we also had a good time getting looks and stares from people who was shocked at our appearance.

i didn't mind because their bank account was no where near mine.

"dessert is on me." he forced me into the diner fezco had brought me to. i didn't want to go in because it would make me think about him.

a waitress approached us with a friendly facial expression. "ashtray! i was just asking fezco about you. how are you doing?" she hinted towards his grandmother's death.

i noticed she was a different waitress from the last time meaning he'd came back without me.

it didn't bother me, but he had a lot of secrets that made me realize i didn't know him like i needed to.

we shared a banana split then decided on a few games we could play once we made it home.

sadly our only choices that he gave me involved fortnite, call of duty, or gta.

to both of our surprises fezco was already at the doorstep smoking and scrolling on his phone. we waited for him to acknowledge us, but ashtray was already fed up that he left us.

"i'll be in my room, ry." he stormed upstairs to his room.

fez laughed, "what's his problem?"

i rolled my eyes in disbelief, "i'm going to play his game with him, we need to talk." i shrugged past him as he tried to reach for me.

i walked inside seeing michael's clothes scattered everywhere.

"where you going this time?" i asked without making eye contact at him and his whore of the week.

"chicago. i might be gone for awhile, but i need a few favors. i'll text you the details, but remember i love you. always."

michael hovered over me holding me as he talked as low as possible for no one to hear.

"i have a couple packages underneath your bed open them alone." he peaked my head softly letting me go.

i ran up to ashtray's room seeing him already asleep with the controller in his hand. i giggled turning his tv off and closing the door.

i finally made it to my room locking both locks.

it was three packages, they were both heavy and labeled.

1: "from: your boss."

my nose senses were heightened by the smell. it was filled with any drug you could think off. my eyes glittered at the sight.

he'd never given me anything more than weed, pills and coke.

2: "from: your protector."

the sight revealed five guns of all kinds. i guess this had something to do with fezco and the trouble he started.

if i needed to protect myself here it was.

3: "from: your big bro."

it was a nice sized picture of him, mom and myself. it made a few tears fall from my eyes. i missed them the most.

i love them.

always.