Here you go, M/n. A nice, hot cup of coffee.

Oh, this is cold.

A nice cup of coffee.

It's not very good.

Cup of coffee.

I'm not even sure it's coffee.

Cup.

_____________________________________________________________________

She was poetry, but he couldn't read...

He was Jared, nineteen...

When his parents built a very strange machine...

Watch that scene, dig it the dancing queen.

AAAYYYY MACARENA!!!

...Horrible job, everyone.

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Has anyone seen Tubbo?

Uh-uh.

Nope.

I've got this one.

Tubbo!!

*Distant giggling*

Found him, thanks.

No problem.

*Visible confusion*

_______________________________________________________________________

I'm still trying to figure out why you're friends with me.

Because you're sweet and funny.

Wilbur says I'm bitter and grumpy, so one of you is lying.

________________________________________________________________________

Maybe, for once, I want someone to call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene.'

___________________________________________________________________________

I have to pee, but I'm too lazy...

Looks like urine trouble...

...

...

...

...

*Rolling on the floor, howling in laughter*

Since it's impossible to know when my life is in the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.

___________________________________________________________________________

Tell me your wildest fantasy.

I'm on The Wheel of Fortune, and I spin it so hard it lights on fire.

No, I meant like-

Everyone claps.

________________________________________________________________________

M/n, teach me how to be vaguely threatening.

If someone points at your black clothing, and asks you whose funeral it is, a look around the room and a casual "Haven't decided yet" is always a good response.

*Fearing for his life*

_____________________________________________________________________________

*Is upset*

Go get them.

*5 minutes later*

I've got them!

M/n!

What do butterflies taste like?

They taste bad.

: ...

How-?

I answered your question, that's all you get.

___________________________________________________________________

Do you ever get like, water-hungry?

...Thirsty?

Water hungry.

__________________________________________________________________

I like that we say "Oh, man" to express disappointment. Because men are disappointing.

But you're a man-

I know what I said!

________________________________________________________________________

M/n's phone contacts:

Tommy

Tubbo

Purpled

His mom

Ranboo

Wilbur

Schlatt

Dream

Quackity