Thursday, June 20th

12pm

Hilton West Palm Beach

I haven't spoken to not one person since I stormed out of the house almost two weeks ago. Except for when I texted Jashawn to cancel the date for Monday when I first got to the hotel. I never told him why. I stopped sharing my location with the girls and I shipped out all my orders for my business myself. I needed time to feel pain and process what's been going on. The only time I went out was when I didn't feel like ordering room service and when I went out to ship the orders.

I had hundreds of missed calls and text messages from everyone, including Marcel. I didn't feel like socializing. I didn't want anyone to know where I was. I just wanted to be left with my pain. I wanted to cry myself to sleep every night until I felt better.

I looked through my call log and decided to actually call someone today, and I called my mama. I wanted to see my sons.

It rang.

"JADA WHAT THE HELL?! YOU GOT BRIA AND EVERYBODY CALLING MY PHONE LOOKING FOR YOU. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" My mama yelled into the phone.

"I'm sorry mama. I've been feeling under the weather and don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want anyone to know where I am, but I'm fine don't worry. Can I see Jay and KayKay?" I said and she sighed.

"You can't disappear like that Jada. At least call me." She said and I nodded.

"Ok mama I understand. No where's my boys?" I asked.

"Hold on." She said she put the phone down to where all I saw was the ceiling.

She came back and they took the phone from them. My heart felt happy. I missed them so much.

"Hi my handsome boys, how are you guys?" I said.

"Good." The boys said smiling into the phone.

"Mommy misses you." I said smiling at them.

"Miss you mama." KayKay said and my heart melted. Just hearing my boys say mama makes me feel better.

"I miss you more KayKay. I miss you both. Mommy loves you guys alright? Continue being good with grandma." I said and the smiled and nodded.

"Wub you mama!" They both said and I started to cry. Oh how I wish I could just hug and squeeze them right now.

My mom got back on the phone.

"You sure you alright babygirl?" She asked.

"Yes mama I'm ok. I'll talk to you later ok? I love you. Tell Jerome I said hi." I said.

"I love you too baby." She said and then the phone hung up.

I cried harder, I really missed my sons and couldn't wait to see them in August. I haven't been apart from them this long and they were only visiting their nana for the summer.

I eventually stopped crying and decided to call Jashawn. I needed some cheering up.

"Jada you ok?" He said immediately after answering on the first ring.

"Yes I'm fine just needed some time to think. Can you come get me? I need some cheering up. I'm at the Hilton in west Palm Beach." I said.

"I'll be there in about 45 minutes." He said and the phone hung up.

I got up and showered and washed my face. I didn't wear makeup today, instead I just fixed my combed my wig and threw on sweats and a T-shirt and some sneakers.

A little later I got a text from Jashawn saying he was downstairs. I grabbed my wallet and my phone and went to the lobby and then outside in the pickup/drop off area.

I got in the car and Jashawn just looked at me. Then he started the engine and started driving.

We pulled up to the dock from that night after the club.

We got out and just sat there for a good 30 minutes.

"Ready to talk now?" He blurted out.

"Yeah." I said. "I think so." I added.

"What's on your mind?" He asked looking at me and I just stared forward, not taking my eyes off the water.

"That night... after you dropped me off he was up. He was sitting on the steps with bloodshot red eyes. He had been and was crossfaded." I said and he continued to look at me. He didn't say a word, he was waiting for me to continue.

"He kept asking me where I was and I finally told him then went in the shower. He got in there while I was in there and tried to kiss me. I gave in for a little but remembered the other girl and immediately stopped. Then he pinned me up against the shower wall and made me look in his eyes and tell him I didn't still love him. He wanted me to see that he still loved me too." I said then paused.

"And do you still love him? Did you see that he loved you?" He asked and I finally looked at him.

"Yeah I do still love him. And he I saw that he loved me too." I looked down then back at the water. "I hate the fact that I still love him." I said.

"Did anything else happen?" He asked.

"You're asking if we had sex? No. I yelled at him. Expressed my hurt. Called him pathetic and a little bitch. Told him I wish I never met him." I said then I looked at him again. "I also said that I wish I never said yes to his pathetic ass proposal. Then I packed some of my things and went to the hotel. Needed to be left with my pain. Cried myself to sleep for a week." I said then looked down.

"Jada, I'm sorry." He said and I shook my head.

"Don't be. It had nothing to do with you." I said.

"No. I'm sorry you're hurt. I'm sorry he hurt you the way he did. I'm sorry he can't see the gem that he has standing right in front of him. I apologize because you didn't deserve that. I don't need to be sorry but I am. Just know you have a friend, me. And I'm positive you have you girlfriends too. You can't clam up that's not healthy. You can't shut the world out. There's people who care about you that were and are still worried sick about you." He said and I sighed.

"Now about your relationship with that guy, get it back. He did you dirty, slept with the enemy.. it hurts. But relationships take A LOT of forgiveness, some relationships more than others. You love him, he loves you. You guys have a family. Trust me I wanna take you out and show you off but I'm more than willingly to just be a friend also. Do it for your family. You will get passed it." He said.

"He nutted in her. If she ends up pregnant how do I get past that?" I looked at him. He paused not knowing what to say.

"The girl probably gets nutted in by lots of guys. She still ain't got nothing on you just because he nutted in her. He might've made you look like a fool, but give it one last chance. There's a reason you said yes to that proposal, and there's a reason you still love him. If not you wouldn't have ran off the face of the earth and cried yourself to sleep." He said and I looked down. He had a point. There is a reason I said yes to the proposal.

"You're right." I said.

"Forgive but never forget. What he did was foul. The way he acted by what you told me, cheating fucked him up, but losing you and his family would fuck him up even more. The man might just go bonkers." He said chuckling and I laughed.

"Thanks Jashawn." I said. "I feel better forreal." I added.

"No problem. But you let him know you got a friend named Jashawn and if he cheat on you again, you let me know so I can personally fuck him up for you." He said and I laughed again.

"Ok. Will do." I said.

"Now let's go eat. A nigga hungry." He said laughing and I giggled.

"Let's go." I said.

We went for food and he dropped me back off at the hotel.

I walked into the lobby to see Bria, Mina, and Mia sitting on the couch.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked them.

"Jada oh my god!" Mia yelled and they all rushed over to me.

They were all speaking at once trying to figure out what happened, why I disappeared, and telling me I have some explaining to do.

"Calm down. Come up to my room I'll text you guys everything." I said and the followed me up to me room.

I told them everything especially up to the moment where Jashawn dropped me off just now.

"Oh my god J, why didn't you tell us that happened? You know we would've been there for you. We would never left you suffer alone are you crazy?" Bria said hugging me.

"And you know definitely I would've done your orders. It's my job." Mina said.

"I'm just glad you're ok. Please don't ever do that again. Next time come to one of our houses or something sheesh." Mia said.

"You guys are right. But in my time alone I'd do clear my head." I said and they nodded. Then there was silence.

"So are you going to work things out with Marcel?" Bria asked.

"Yeah I'm going to check out now actually and head over there." I said and she nodded.

"Well we'll see you later girl ok? And please don't isolate yourself again ok? We were worried." Mia said and I nodded.

Bria, Mina, and Mia had work so they all left.

I packed my things and went to the lobby and checked out then got in my car and headed home.

I just hope I don't ever get cheated on by him again. I don't think I can handle it. I thought to myself.

I pulled up to the house, parked, got my stuff and got out.

I walked up to the front door and sighed. I took a breath and walked in and the house was silent.

"Hello?! Marcel are you here?!" I yelled and no one answered.

I went into the movie room and I didn't see him.

I went into the master bedroom and didn't see him. I went into the guest room and didn't find him there either.

I went into Jay and KayKay's room and my heart dropped. It absolutely melted.

Marcel was there, asleep on the floor in front of their beds. We switched out the cribs with the beds when they got older.

I went up to him and shook him a little.

"Marcel." I said and he jumped up. He looked at me and tears formed in his eyes then he hugged me.

"Jada oh my god baby. I love you so much I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm an idiot. I need you baby you changed me. You melted my frozen heart Jada I will never do that to you again. I only want you baby." He said and I was in shock as he was shaking me and hugging me, crying.

"Stop being a little bitch. I want the thug ass Marcel to talk to me." I said to him rolling my eyes and he let me go and I wiped away his tears.

"Jada I'm sorry. I love you, a lot. I never should've done that. I've never seen you that hurt by what I did. I've seen you act crazy, but what you said to me had me thinking and the fact that you left and disappeared and I didn't know where you were had me worried and I knew I had lost you. I was a jackass to you. You're a diamond and I fucked around with a rock. To top it all off, I nutted in another female. I was ruthless and I understand if you never fully forgive me Jada but baby, please don't leave me." He said and I just sat the on the ground with him looking at him.

He shed a tear again and I wiped it.

"Can you stop crying? I don't like crybaby ass Marcel I like my hood ass fiancé." I said to him and he looked at me and immediately stopped crying.

"Fiancé?" He asked with a hopefully tone.

"Yes, I'm here to get my family back on track. I love you Marcel and even though you had me looking real fucking dumb, I still love you." I said and he smiled. I smiled back at him and we shared a kiss.

I stood up but he didn't. I looked at him confused until he pulled out the ring I gave back to him.

"Baby, Jada. Will you be Mrs. Whyte not just for family, but because your heart desires to and let me spend a lifetime making it up to you for hurting you?" Be said and I smiled and laughed a little.

"Yes you dickhead now get up." I said and he smiled putting the ring back on my finger.

He gave me a deep and passionate kiss. "I love you so much." He said.

"I love you too." I said and we kissed again.

"Now clean up this house, it's bottles and ashtrays everywhere." I said going into my pole room so that I can dance, I needed it.

Marcel was cleaning and I was putting a song on. I didn't feel like putting my heels on so I just went barefoot.

I closed the door and Sex With Me by Rihanna played.

I let the the music take over me and I started to just dance around and on the pole. The darkness with the mini lights and the music was so therapeutic for me.

A couple of minutes later Earned It by The Weeknd played. Then after that Slow Motion by Trey Songz.

I was dancing when Marcel came in, closed the door, and just watched me. I didn't pay him any mind since I was in my therapeutic zone.

I just stared at myself in the mirror as I danced.

After I was done I was about to stop until Gentleman by Gallant came on. I had to dance to this.

I looked at myself once more, I don't know what cane over me but I became a whole new Jada, I was all over the pole and floor, as if I was making love to it.

"That's the song." I heard Marcel say.

"What do you mean that's the song?" I asked him while I danced.

"Don't worry about my meaning behind why I said it. Just know that is the song, the chosen song." He said and continued to watch me.

The song was over after a few minutes and I turned the speaker off and turned off the lights and walked out of the room with Marcel behind me.

I went into the master bathroom and turned the shower on. The shower after that was going to be heavenly.

I got in the shower and Marcel ordered food.

I let the hot water run down my body. It felt amazing. I just let the water relax my body before soaping up. Afterwards, I let the water do it's thing again.

After I got out the shower, the food was here. Marcel and I ate and chilled until we went to bed.

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