I feel stupid around all these people, it seems like everyone knows Nate and he keeps trying to hold my hand and introduce me to everyone, which is nice of him but I'm shy and uncomfortable.

I turn to him putting my hand behind my back, "I-I'm gonna look f-for Rue, is that okay?" He looks down at me, scanning me up and down.

I avoid his eyes feeling uncomfortable, finally after a long pause he leans in.

"I'll see you in a bit, okay?" He whispers, I simply nod frantically, before turning away.

I want to cry as I make eye contact with Fezco, I feel embarrassed that he saw me. He ditched me after all. It kinda does suck seeing how much I like him, but boys like Fezco don't like girls like me.

I'm very confident and aware of self love but as much as I try to tell myself he doesn't deserve me, I can't seem to keep my mind off of him. Maybe I'm over thinking, I mean it's only been a day to be exact. I'll probably be over him tomorrow or the day after or the day after that one.

I sigh before turning around to look for somewhere, not sure where. But someone quiet at least. The stairs and hallways are filled with people drinking, people making out, people crying, it's plain chaos in here.

Finally after looking for a room and accidentally opening doors that contained people having sex, I found a room.

I slowly sit on the bed, my eyes water and I feel so embarrassed.

In a sense it's my fault for letting myself get so attached for no reason, I let him kiss me and hug me when I shouldn't have, he's the first boy to not ask me for sex or anything sexual, hence why I've never been in a relationship.

Every boy I've came across of just wants to have sex, isn't there something worth more than sex? They all say the same thing, they like you and you believe them or at least I do and the second those words come out of their mouth, they tend to believe you owe them sexual pleasures.

It's not like I'm waiting for marriage, I'm simply waiting for someone that cares, someone that feels right, not sure if that makes any sense. Like Jules and Rue, regardless of how much I love Jules, she at times plays and confuses Rue to the extreme. I don't think Rue de-

"Ellise?" I look up and see Nate.

"Hey, Nate."

"What are you doing here?" He sits next to me, our arms touching.

"Just waiting for Rue or something." He chuckles at this and looks down.

"Parties aren't for you huh?"

"Not really."

"Do you like carnivals? There's one coming up, my family does this chili contest, it's kind of silly but my dad takes pride in it." His tone comes out distant towards the end, which is rare for Nate because from what I gathered he's always so composed.

"Carnivals ar-"

"Yo what the fuck!" This random girl barges in the room with a look of disbelief.

"Are you fucking serious Nate?" Oh my god, I want to laugh so hard right now.

"Yo Maddie chill you're tripping."

"Who the fuck are you?" She turns to me, her eyes glaring at me, soon people start to come as she's causing drama.

"She's none of your goddam businesses." Nate quickly tells her before I can manage to anything.

"Maddie get the fuck out of here, you're fucking psycho we weren't doing anything."

"Literally Nate shut the fuck up if I wouldn't have walked in here at this moment you probably wou-."

"Not every fucking girl is like you." Nate's usually calm composure has seem to be completely gone and I frown at his comment.

"Move the fuck out my way." Rues' figure shows up, pushing people away.

"Come one, Ellise." She grabs my hand pushing me out the room.

"Sorry you had to put up with some shitty high school drama."

"Thank you for coming to my rescue," Rue laughs at this and we hug quickly before Jules comes and joins us.

"Girl power!" She beams.

"I'm tired." I admit.

"We can go sit down, if you want?" Jules asks me. This is what having real friends is about.

"No guys it's fine really, I'll just step out for a while, okay?"

"Are you sure?" Rue looks at me with her brow raised up, she's really pretty.

"Yes guys now come on!"