《Humans Must Adapt!》Chapter 95: Monkey King
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"My name's Ellis."
"... is that all?"
"I haven't heard of a monkey king in these forests."
"Hey! I'm not a 'monkey king' but the 'king of the monkeys!'"
The monkey king's arms wildly flail as he rebukes my words. He points a long sharp fingernail at me before speaking with an intense tone.
"No matter human, your kind is not allowed around these parts of the forest, especially toting around that thing."
His finger changed from pointing at me to pointing at Duchess.
I lock eyes with Duchess before turning back to the monkey king.
"Not the sharks, but the serpent you don't like?"
"Yes! The Simian people have great disdain for both the reptile and avian tribes! A looking at a walking abomination of the two is like licking a lemon with my eyes!"
I look around for any more Simianites or 'monkey people' since I only see him and monkeys. Is that racist?
Also, why is there a theriomorphic king settled in the human territory? Those tribes are settled way south of here, with their own empire.
Are they considered tribes if they have their own kingdom? It gives the wrong impression.
The kingdoms way down south is usually racially divided, with migration only open to those of the same 'family.' Avians, reptiles, and mammals. Mammals have the highest population but the most infighting.
Mammalian kingdoms are further divided into categories such as feline, canine, rodent, etc. But each kingdom is ruled by a different race, regardless of what 'family' they belonged to.
Wars are constant between the theriomorphic people, but more as a show of strength rather than conquest. The leader of the strongest kingdom gets to be the emperor and decides the fate of the theriomorphs.
The current emperor of beasts is ironically promoting peace and prosperity between the tribes and foreign relations. I'm pretty sure the emperor is a mammal, but I'm not sure what race he is.
I am sure that this simianite is not the king of the monkeys, but the king of *these* monkeys.
"May I have your name since I have spoken mine?"
"I don't have a name translatable to the human tongue. But you may call me HOO HEE HAA HOO."
"...can we have passage through your lands?"
I use [Scientific Insight+] as I look around.
[HOO HEE HAA HOO lv120]
"..."
"NO! Ehem, I mean no."
"?"
"You impeded on my lands. You have to follow my customs. And since you have brought the mortal enemies of the Simianites, we must do battle!"
All the monkeys start hollering again at their king's words. If I knew they understood languages, I would have bartered with them before this annoyance showed up.
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I stroke the [Cinderstorm Scroll] I have stashed under my gui. I can use this only if my beasts get out of the way. I'll worry about the arson charges after I get out of this alive.
Burning down one of the forests home to the Prime Territories is worth it if I can live through this encounter.
"Now, if you can follow me to my court, we can have our battle."
The monkey king turns away and starts waddling into the tree line.
"Wait, you aren't sicking your monkey army on me?"
He turns back at me with confusion momentarily on his face.
"As a fellow primate, you have the right to challenge me. If you wish to have an all-out war, I could oblige. However, don't be mistaken. This isn't a battle for the crown, but a struggle for the right to live!"
He stressed that last part heavily.
I think this guy is bipolar. I'm so tempted to just napalm the entire forest and be done with it, but that would cause so many issues that I couldn't even start to list off.
He probably thinks that since I am a fellow primate, I know his tribe's traditions and would follow them. I'm not afraid of fighting him, but fighting him and thousands of monkeys would end me.
I can take the opportunity to fly away, but I wonder how much experience I could get or how many goodies he has stashed away in his hideout.
I don't know if he's actual royalty from the southern tribes, but if he is, he probably has something good stashed away.
It's foolish to stay and fight because I want loot or levels, but if I managed to kill him and escape, I would get the most benefits.
I am curious about what traditions this person follows and what would happen if I accept his challenge. I guess he's accommodating mine? It doesn't matter. I'll be disappointed if it's just a fight and nothing else.
This monkey man leads me through the forest to an unknown destination. Duchess speaks on my decision.
[Master, is this wise? Even if you beat this creature, would their followers not retaliate in force.]
Not sure if the monkey king can overhear my words, I just slide the [Cinderstorm Scroll] under one of her feathers.
"It'll be fine."
I pat her where I placed the scroll and turned back around. If I fail to defeat this monkey, Duchess could napalm the forest and give us a chance to disappear.
I follow the monkey king back to his 'throne.'
It's a 30-foot-tall boulder crudely chiseled as a chair with heaps of gold and items scattered around it. It's in a clearing surrounded by trees.
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Bridgeways connect each tree to one another, and the entire area is lit by lanterns.
Monkeys sit on planks of wood or branches and whoop and holler as the monkey king enters the clearing.
He hops onto his stone chair and lazily waits for me to approach him.
What does he want me to do? I walk up to him before getting stopped 30 feet away from him.
"Stop visitor. For what reason are you approaching me?"
Is he roleplaying? Maybe he's bored and wants a non-monkey to talk to. This is probably the only way he can get someone to stay around. He's trading with someone if he is getting gold and lanterns, so he's definitely not isolated here.
Maybe I should play into this. Why do I only get antagonists that are into a role? I hope this won't be something recurring.
Do I hope? Dealing with these people is generally smoother since their desires can be read based on their character.
"King of the monkeys, I seek safe passage through your lands and forgiveness for trespassing."
The monkey is pleased with my answer.
"Human, as we are cousin races, I shall forgive your trespassing."
Thank the gods.
"However, I cannot forgive that creature you bring with you."
A vein almost bursts in my forehead. I take one second to compose myself before replying,
"What will result if she doesn't get your forgiveness?"
"Death penalty. She will be sacrificed to my god."
Holy shit! What a change of pace.
"I'm sure something can be done."
"There is nothing."
"Even if I challenge you?"
"Oh? Are you willing to put your life on the line just for forgiveness?"
"That and safe passage through your lands."
"Then let the challenger pick three challenges!"
After his words, a bunch of monkeys painted different colors toting signs with onomatopoeias of monkey noises written on them with ink lines up. Twelve different colored monkeys stand off to the side, where both the monkey king and I can see them.
They've definitely rehearsed this.
"I can't read that writing."
"Sounds like a personal problem."
"...I pick that one."
I pick the first monkey.
"Good choice."
"And that one."
This time I randomly chose a monkey in the middle. How about the seventh?
"Nice, nice."
"Last one is this one."
I picked the eleventh.
"No, pick something else."
"...that one?"
Fourth?
"The one left of that one."
"..."
"Go on."
I silently point.
"Good choices all around."
He gets up and starts hollering at the surrounding monkeys. They start scurrying around, and before I know it, a large wooden table gets carried over by monkeys and placed in front of me. More monkeys carrying chairs come over and set them on either side of the table.
"..."
Large wooden bowls filled with fruits, leaves, bugs, and nuts get haphazardly placed on the table. I spot a few dead lizards mixed in there as well.
The monkey king sits down. I can barely see him over the amount of food in front of us. He gestures for me to sit across from him.
"Alright, human. You are the one who picked this challenge. Do you understand the rules?"
"No. Not in the slightest."
"It's a simple eating competition. Whoever can eat the most bowls wins!"
I expected a countdown before we began eating, but that wasn't the case. The monkey king started gorging himself on food before I could respond.
I haven't eaten today, so this is a blessing in disguise. [Corrosive Metabolism] should boost my digestion speed even if it doesn't explicitly state that.
It only makes sense.
The monkey king finished one of the bowls before I finished half. I decided to stop peeling oranges and bananas and just eat them with the peel.
The fruits aren't that fresh...
The insects were easier to eat, but most of them were alive. Luckily none of them were poisonous enough to hurt me. After I finish, I move on to the next bowl.
I'm a slow eater, so I needed time to get into a rhythm.
I stop paying attention to the monkey king and his poor table manners and focus on just eating.
Even if he did this to poison me, that's just training my poison resistance.
Halfway through the challenge, I come to a realization. I continue eating.
~
I'm hunched over the table with my head in my hands. I regret many decisions.
The monkey king isn't in any better condition. Lying flat out on the ground with a bulging belly and a strained look on his face. His voice is weak.
"Looks like I win. Haha."
"No, not really."
"What do you mean? I at more bowls of food than you, almost three more!"
"That may be true, but you said the rules were to 'eat the most bowls,' not the 'most bowls of food.'"
He looks over and sees that bowls are missing from the table.
"Don't tell me you actually ate the wooden bowls?"
"I ate nine. You ate zero. I win."
"..."
"..."
[...]
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