《City Goons》Little Blue Working Overalls - 1

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Colourful, gelatinous, and attached to pink blossoms, gummy fruits hung from the red vine branches of gummy trees.

It was the choicest crop for a city goon looking to make a quick bouillon in the summer, for the merchants and vendors at the Crumb Kingdom bazaar would pay quite the pretty penny for them. The gummy fruit was a sweet, juicy, refreshing snack, particularly for the children after a hard day of labour at the fields.

As spring came to an end, tent camps would erupt like dandelion weeds around the gummy orchard of Thornmoor Park, where city goons would patiently wait for the gummy trees to bloom and swell and droop with fruits on the vines. The competition was always cutthroat. Rounder, vibrant fruits would fetch for a higher price than the uglier ones. And it was not usual to find an empty basket next to a dead city goon, especially those without the protection of a company. That was why Haru avoided the gummy harvest despite the big bouillons she could have made. Those companies were often a thuggish enterprise of buttheads and meanies, a rather bad basket of apples to get mixed in with. She would rather work alone. And now she had KD by her side.

However, as they passed through the gummy orchard, able to select the finest fruits that their hearts desired from the highest vines, Haru stopped KD from picking a single one.

“But they look so delectable,” KD complained.

Haru scoffed. “And crappier! They’re not even made with real fruit, yo. Just a load of high fructose nothing to keep the masses happy.”

“Then why do we bother to be here? Jus to torture ourselves with a delight that we cannot partake?”

“For the good-good! The real deal! Gummy fruits with actual freaking fruit in them. The premium product that’ll stuff our pockets with bouillons.”

Gummy fruits came in two varieties: with and without real fruit. The ones without were the easiest to pick, the most plentiful to find. And the lack of any real fruit meant that they took longer to spoil in the sultry summer heat. The ones with real fruit lasted less than a day, though that did not mean the demand was not there. The velocimantis rancher that hired Haru and KD was willing to part with a pillowcase full of bouillons to have a few premiums for dinner. The problem was more so a matter of supply.

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Farther into Thornmoor Park was an area that even the biggest company avoided despite the bounty for its head. It was where the raggedy tarantula lived and coveted the premium gummy tree for itself. Any that tried to venture in and pick one was cocooned and made into a city goon smoothie. A risk that Haru would have never entertained until KD came along in her life.

The gummy forest grew darker as the canopy knitted closer, choking out much of the sunlight from hitting the candy grass. KD swatted at the cobwebs and branches that got in the way. A chill rushed through and the hairs on her nape bristled. Fear crept up her spine. She never liked the dark. It reminded her of when the lights went out in the bunker, she had to blindly grope and feel her way through the darkness to find the breaker box, where every creak and groan was a possible monster. Living alone back then was awful.

The dark forest path yawned up and the premium gummy tree stood, its golden gummy fruits yet to be picked. The other trees were white as snow, its branches draped in sticky spider silk and cocoons of its victims. And the raggedy tarantula was there. It was the size of two giant boulders joined together, a felt monster walking on eight long, sock limbs. Saliva dribbled from its mandibles as it stared at the golden gummy tree, rubbing its many hands with eager anticipation. It reached for a golden fruit with its spindly fingers.

With the slingshot from her backpack, Haru notched in an iron ball, pulled back the rubber drawstring and loosed her shot. The iron ball cracked against bone. The raggedy tarantula pulled its hand away from a golden fruit, wincing as it shook its hand.

“Hands off the goods, you dirty pile of laundry!” Haru said.

The raggedy spider hissed. “How dare you attack me!” It shook with anger. “I’m going to paralyse you with my venom, then make you watch as I slowly tear your limbs from their sockets.”

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KD popped its knuckles. “You will have to get through me first.”

“Then so be it.”

Beads of venom dripped from its fangs as the raggedy spider launched itself at them. KD stepped aside, narrowly dodging the claws and fangs. Haru notched another iron ball and aimed for one of its numerous pitch black eyes.

SPLAT!

Ooze burped out of an eye socket as the raggedy spider screamed, thrashing its head to shake the iron ball out. With it distracted, KD whipped an uppercut at it. Fist connected with jaw. Fangs shattered onto the forest floor. Haru was about to prepare another shot when a pincer pinched her hood and lifted her into the air.

“Haru!” KD was about to reach up and grab her when a raggedy limb struck them in the face, sending them in a mesh of cobwebs.

Haru was twisting and flailing and kicking. Jagged fangs lined its mouth like the stalactites and stalagmites of a cave. Its breath smelled like candy and rot.

“This is going to be sweeter than biting into my gummy fruit.” The raggedy spider went to sink its fangs in.

KD jumped in the way. The fangs sunk into their arms instead.

“No!” Haru freed the short sword from her backpack and slashed off the pincer.

She fell to the ground, the wind knocked from the lungs. She was reeling like a worm.

“Gut it now, Haru!” KD said as they wrapped an arm around the raggedy spider’s neck, keeping the fangs in place.

Scrambling up to her feet, Haru staggered underneath the monster and thrust her sword with all the might in her shoulders. The point plunged in. The raggedy spider tossed back as the blade ran down its abdomen, spools of clothed organs spilling out, hot and fresh from the dryer. Its limbs gave out.

She rolled out of the way before it collapsed onto her.

“That was quite the thrilling battle!’ KD said as they ripped their arm from its jaws. The fangs were still in. It looked like pale ivory tusks. With a nonchalance, they pulled it like a bee sting. “I shall claim these as trophies to remember our conquest of this—” They toppled like a felled tree. “What happened to me, Haru? I cannot move my arms! My death dealing hands!”

Haru shrugged. “I guess that’s the venom kicking in.”

“What shall we do?”

“Nothing much, really.” She grabbed the basket that they dropped while fighting and walked over to the golden gummy tree. “Just relax and ride out the paralysis.” She picked a few golden fruits in the basket. “And I’ll come back after I have these delivered to the velocimantis rancher.”

KD blew out a long sigh. “Fine…”

“Don’t get in any trouble while I’m gone, okay?”

“I doubt that I can.”

The premium fruits in her basket were already spoiling, its golden hue started to drain.

“Be back soon.” And Haru skipped down the path in Thornmoor Path.

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