The jumbo-sized hand hit the floor with the force of a megaton—chunks of concrete, tables, display boards, cans of silly string and party hats jumped up—just as Haru and KD dove out of the impact zone, smearing a rainbow streak on the floor as they slid away. Haru coughed madly from the choke of dust in the air, her hand empty after the short sword was lost in the middle of the fray.

“You should flee while you still can,” KD said to Haru as they plucked out a big red nose stuck to their horn. “Leave this unfunny abomination for me to handle.”

“No way, yo!” Haru dismounted from KD’s shoulders and searched the litter-covered floor.

“The instrument of cookery is acquired, though.”

However, KD would still remain to battle the Gigaclown on their own. And that was something Haru could not allow. This quest was more than just for spatula. The short sword was lying on a bed of rainbow curly wigs. “Nobody calls me small, and anybody who does is burnt toast.” She swiped it up.

KD looked like it wanted to argue further, however, the Gigaclown was lifting up its large pillowy hand for another strike. Groaning, KD returned Haru to its shoulders. They lept back as the hand swiped across the Exhibition Hall, tearing up rebar and concrete from the foundation. A slab of it flew into the open doorway, plugging up the sunrays coming in from outside. Now the only source of light emitted from the colossal buffoon. Phosphorescent, like goop from a nuclear reactor.

Guttural laughter bubbled out from the many mouths on the Gigaclown. “Little fry, little fry! We’re gonna eat your flesh and tan your hide, little fry!” Giddy said.

Haru blew out a raspberry. “If you can get some.”

Giddy frowned, then twisted into a mean scowl exaggerated by makeup. The ground shuddered as the Gigaclown took a lumbering step forward in its large floppy shoes. The top of its saggy cheeked, dough-like head scraped the ceiling. Its long, swollen arms swung back and forth. Giddy piloted the Gigaclown from the sternum, yanking and jerking on its tethers to move the gigantic suit of flesh. It was far too gargantuan to just punch into an early grave. Some tact was necessary this time. Haru scanned her surroundings in a hurry. Everything was either smashed to pieces or just plain useless junk. Anything close to a weapon were the helium tanks, however, helium was an inert gas, meaning it had no chance of exploding like propane. Her face continued to stay scrunched with thought as she desperately scrambled to improvise a plan, yet the Gigaclown was getting closer and a solution nowhere at hand.

“Finally, an adversary worth fighting. This tale shall suit nicely in my saga for when my fellow brethren sing of this day,” KD said as their knuckles popped like firecrackers, ready to brute force the situation as always.

Suddenly, a drop of cool water splattered on Haru’s head. She looked up, saw that a huge portion of the ceiling was bulging down. “Wait! I have a plan.”

“Does it involve copious amounts of punching?”

“No, but it does involve defeating it.”

KD glanced up at the clown colossus drawing closer, then at Haru, who’s eyes were wide with insistence. “Then may you lead me true to victory.”

Haru sheathed her short sword and fastened her hands on their horns. “Get us to the other side of the Exhibition Hall.”

Giddy lifted its knee and the Gigaclown followed, raising its flabby foot up. “Fee fi fo fum, I’ll step on you like a shoe on gum.”

They darted aside as the foot fell. The floor fractured and split like ice. KD stumbled, widening their stance to find footing. The Gigaclown twisted around as it watched them launch to the other side.

“Oh ho ho ho. Where are you going, little fry? There’s nowhere to run in here,” Giddy said.

A helium tank sat alone in the distance.

Haru pointed at it. “There! Faster, KD! Faster, yo!”

“My speed is severely limited, as you can see,” KD said. Because of their short legs they moved more so in a rapid waddle than a full-on sprint. It was maddeningly slow.

As they raced for the helium tank, Haru heard something like rocks getting crushed. Reluctantly, she glanced back. Hunks of concrete were getting crushed into smaller pieces in the hands of the Gigaclown. Then, its arm cocked back like a pitcher and threw the rock fragments. It scattered like a comet breaking up in the atmosphere. The floor tore up like hail through glass. Haru steered KD forward to speed up its pace. Ahead was the crater from when the Gigaclown hit the floor with its hand. They slid into it just as the rocks sailed over, tearing the ground up ahead.

“Keep going! Don’t stop!” Haru said.

Giddy was preparing another strike.

They scrambled up from the crater, hands clawing for purchase to get out.

“You’re going to be swiss cheese, little fry!” Giddy crushed another hunk in its hands.

The metallic surface of the helium tank gleamed brilliantly.

“Grabitgrabitgrabit!”

KD snatched up the helium tank and twisted around. The Gigaclown was about to throw the next volley of rocks. Haru pointed to the bulge in the ceiling.

“Hit there!”

KD chucked the helium tank. It flew like a cannonball. As gambled, the bulge in the ceiling lanced like a boil. Rainwater and sunlight spilled in through the opening. Giddy and the Gigaclown hissed as its pale skin singed, bubbled and popped like pustules in the sun. The smell of burned marshmallows stuffed the Exhibition Hall. It staggered back, attempting to retreat from the deadly streak of light, only to stumble from its impractically large shoes, falling backwards. The massive character of dough ripped through the wall, now fully bathed in sunlight. It burst into flames immediately.

The multicoloured fire danced on the flailing, screaming mass of limbs. The scene was almost as awesome as a firework show. Good for roasting smores. Instead, Haru settled with approaching the defeated conglomerate of clowns and stabbed it repeatedly with her short sword, salt upon wounds.

“Who’s laughing now, huh? Who’s laughing now? Me! That’s who! Hahahaha!” Haru twisted her short sword. “That’s for calling me ‘small fry’, you gaudy-dressed bunch of bozos!” She also spat on it for good measure.

KD waddled up next to Haru and kicked the sole of its foot. “Suck my buns, yo.”

A proud grin crept up on Haru. She tugged on KD’s arm. “Let’s go home.”

“Can we have a pancake feast to celebrate our victory and try out our newly acquired spatula?”

“Okie dokie.”

As they walked away, with the girl riding on the Void Entity’s shoulders, Haru started hawking rhymes as the crackle and pop of burning clowns laid out a good rhythm.