“So these are all memories he has?”

“Yes. But you don’t have to worry about that. Because he was actually such a good person... That's why he wants to bring you back to life.”

I heard two people talking to each other in a very friendly manner.

And when I opened my eyes, I was actually sitting relaxed in a rocking chair in such a narrow room, filled with hundreds or even thousands of photo frames... Okay, I think we'd better stop explaining about this room over and over. Because this is the umpteenth time I visited the same place.

What was different this time was that there was one visitor standing in front of me, staring at some of the memories that intrigued him.

“Hey, you. You're finally awake…”

“Shut up.” I stopped the silly little girl's joke.

“I already explained everything to this man... So you just need to open the gates of your prison now.”

Nodding in gratitude, I turned my attention away from the girl, towards the curly haired man who was looking at me with a hint of fear.

“I already told you I have to kill you first…”

“Well... How could I just believe those evil words of yours before?!”

“It means that sometimes stupidity can actually save you… All right then. We can't linger long if you still want to live, so let me just open the gate for now.” Holding onto my knees, rising from this comfortable chair, I close my eyes as the twilight light from the small window behind me fades to its darkest point.

And with a little red light as an opening, the wall behind me magically changed its shape to resemble an old-fashioned metal gate.

I named this skill the Avernus Gate…

Why? Because that sounds cool.

But the point is, every time I kill someone using my own curse, I can bring them back to life for just a limited time, and at a price that can be considered quite expensive. Controlling suffering, meaning that I can also take on the suffering of people who have regrets in their own life. And the only regret I can take is the regret of killing other people.

So summed up, this power would take all the souls that this person had snatched apart from his own soul and the soul of the carrier that possessed him in the first place.

Aside from the requirement that that person should be killed by myself, his body wasn't injured too much apart from my own curse, and that person should have regrets about killing someone else, I should also be in the same state as he is right now. That is death.

But not like actual death… Yet if there was someone in the real world who hit me right in the face in this such condition, then I would really be declared dead.

From the same thing, one question Elis and I have had for a long time answered... That is my heart had nothing to do with my life and death anymore. The evolution of the rules of this world of gods and goddesses themselves made this happen even without expecting and suspecting it…

One question is answered, a new, much more confusing question emerges. What is death? In order to answer that, we have to meet the great carrier, the ruler of death. But I have no clue as to whether the god has come to this world yet or not.

So I guess there's no need to rush. as long as I can still enjoy this cheating, well it seems we don't have to question it too much.

~~~~~

Opening the gate with a view full of darkness apart from the red glow of the fiery flames on each side of the gate, I stretched out my hand towards the man. He looked confused. I'm actually a little confused too.

Oh, nevermind…

I suddenly knew what I had to do. So I pulled something out of the man's body, something that had holes in his chest and blackened edges on each side.

After the black dust drifted away from his body, the small wound suddenly closed, restoring the missing part of his body.... But this isn't actually something like healing magic. Because like what I said, this curse isn't the same as a physical wound.

So it's more towards turning back time before the curse lodged and pierced his chest.

The black dust then swayed towards me.

Multiplying itself slowly, revealing the silhouettes of the many people this man had previously killed.

Moving right through me, lost in the darkness beyond the gate, then the door closed until it again ushered the place into darkness.

The ritual was performed, the room with the simple window returned to its original position, while that man suddenly disappeared even though there were a lot of questions that I really wanted to ask…

For example, about who told him to fight against so many people that he could gather that many souls before…

But whatever…

I'd better sit back in this rocking chair while waiting for the days to pass until it's time for me to come back to my senses in reality... Talked a lot with Elis as usual, carried away my mood until I fell asleep in serenity.

~~~~~

I heard a mutter of the same spiritual song, which I've also been muttering from time to time to calm myself down as a habit. But this is not my voice…

That mutter belongs to a girl with the soft scent of her own signature perfume.

It must be her…

Like how can I be wrong about that smell...

When I opened my eyes, she was asleep in the folds of her own hands, right beside my chest which was covered by the white blanket. A few minutes passed after the song was supposed to end, she started repeating the same song instead.

“Ugh… Again? No other songs?”

As I grumbled in such a hoarse voice after getting up from sleep, she was surprised and immediately straightened her back herself, while looking at me.... Smoothing that hair which had been messed up by the wind from the window…

Such a breeze as if I could even feel it long before I came back to my senses…

“G’mornin.” Goddamnit, my voice still sounded hoarse!

“Good afternoon, Niel…”

Ah…

Her smile’s so warm…

“Once again I happened to wake up while you were beside me, huh?” I laughed in relief, but was met with the disappointed expression she had.

Fuck…

Did I say something wrong? “Ellie? Anything wrong?”

“No.”

“Then… Nevermind…” But something must be wrong!

Especially after Elis suddenly complained from deep inside of my head without giving any further information.

As she said, “Well, yeah... Your brain really does have something wrong in it.”

“You just never side with me, do you?”

“I side with people who are sensitive to their own stupidity. Daniel… Why can't you guess what she's been thinking all along? Don't you ever wonder why’s that this girl can always read your mind and think, why can't you do the same?”

“Shut up, Elis. Just get to the point… Please…”

“Meh… You figure it out yourself, tadpole.”

Tadpole!?

Hmm…

I actually don't want to say this, because if it turns out to be wrong, The atmosphere will cruelly change for sure to be very awkward for both of us... Then I will hate myself for the rest of my life every time I see the face of this girl.

Like… I've never even discussed anything like this to anyone, even to myself in my entire life. Or if I'm being honest, I've never really talked about the same thing at all.

It just never crossed my mind all this time to think about something that smells like…

Love… Or some shit.

I treat everyone I meet the same, just as how I feel like they treat me also in the same way, whoever they are…

Wait… Doesn't that mean I've never met anyone who likes me?!

Seriously!?

The bottom line is, what I've been going through with Ellie… Well… Though if you think about it, we've only been friends for a few months, but I'm just starting to feel something for her… I think… Just… Maybe…

But you know what?!

Fuck with it!

Let me just bury myself and say it straight and shamelessly…

“Have you always been waiting for me to wake up?”

I'm sure my voice was quite loud at that time... And Ellie’s ears were close enough to understand what I was saying. But this girl didn't answer, as her eyes darted to and fro, then she buried her own head in her hands again... Asleep in the chair right next to me.

“Ellie?”

So it's true?

Really?

This girl?

Or could I be wrong?

She even mumbled the song again with a little snap so that I was silent not to continue to ask questions…

Is… Is this girl really in love with me?

“Wow... Wow... You calm down there, tadpole... Your conclusions come too suddenly, without you even thinking about what makes any sense as to why. And those words are too confident, even if it’s yours, my friend... I don't like the way you put it so directly either. Also since the very beginning, you're not sensitive at all... Stupid bastard. Don’t breathe. Go kill yourself. Just die already…”

Jesus, Elis… Shut up! So it’s wrong then?

But I will understand and correct myself if that thought is actually wrong, because I have never felt it even once and I've also never been taught about the same thing before, so…

“You don't have to be taught by anyone just to be able to experience it. And by the way, If you say it's wrong, I will kill you.”

This bitch… So it's true?

“And if you say that's true, then just go kill yourself. Or more simply, why don’t you think for yourself and don't say any of those words to me? Because it sounded really, really embarrassing dude… Like, seriously…”

Okay then, you shut up now.

~~~~~

“So… How’s your work going? Aren't you really needed everywhere?”

“I can teleport if someone calls.”

Hmm…

Now she immediately admitted my first question, while turning her head so that she is facing right at me.

“Thanks… You make me feel happy. And sorry... For ignoring your words. Again…”

“Yeah… I mean, it's okay… After all, your decision not to kill that man, while the world looks at you as if you've lost, has actually given us a little more room to breathe.”

“Oh yes. That guy. Where is he? I want to ask him about something.”

“For what? He's already been sentenced to death.”

“Wha…”

Moving my body meant for Ellie to explain what she just said, a cracking sound in my left arm suddenly forced me to lie back down without the slightest intention to move.

“He is dead?! Again?!”

“Because he had killed too many innocent people, don’t you think? So his only punishment is... Sorry Niel. Do you know this guy?”

“No, but I have a question for him. Damn... I've even brought him back to life.”

“Oh… Previously I thought you brought him back, on purpose to make it seem like you were the loser. Or am I wrong?”

“Ehm… Well, yeah… I mean that's one of my plans. But I also have a question for him... Hey, wait. Wait a moment Ellie. I'm just confused... Why do you always seem to not care about the lives of others, like... Is it just me, or you actually don't even care to act as a goddess of forgiveness at all.”

“To me, Niel... I'm not a goddess of forgiveness myself. I just happen to be able to heal wounds. But yeah, lately I've always been confused by my own memories that feel like they're being augmented by things I shouldn't have experienced. I've even forgotten what my former self was like... Whether there is any change, or not at all? I don't understand how to explain it either.”

“But are you okay with that? You don't feel bothered?”

Ellie was silent for a moment, her eyes searching for something in mid-air, then smiled with such a divine radiance.

“I've never felt this motivated before to do so many things. I also feel so many new and different emotions. Not only the warm feeling that always makes me smile like a fool, but also the stinging feeling that somehow makes me feel even more alive than ever. I don't know… Or… Maybe it's more of a lack of understanding, where all these wonderful things actually come from. Whether it's from magic and all this nonsense, or from people I meet like you, or from myself, but Niel, I feel happy.” She said.

“Is that… Wrong for you?”

The worried look she had when she asked that question killed me for a split second…

“No. Not at all.”

~~~~~

I closed my bedroom door from inside. Finally after a long day of spending time with Ellie, I'm back alone…

As if the longer I was with that girl, the longer I wanted to stay with her. So I decided to say goodbye before things got even clearer.

Wait…. Things getting clearer? Could it be that I mean my feelings for that girl?

“I really don't have any shame, do I?”

Lying on the bed carefully without moving my body too much, I exhaled tiredly from enduring the pain in my back and left shoulder.

Ellie must have seen my sweat dripping down more and more from enduring this kind of curse… At that time I also could no longer hold a flat expression…

Yep, maybe that's the real reason why I left to have a rest alone in this empty room…

I also remembered that at this time I was still having problems with Fanya... So I tried contacting Deo. But from morning till night, he did not answer the call.

Now I feel even more worried. Is that gloomy man okay? Why doesn't he answer my calls all day? So this is how those two felt when I disappeared and couldn't be contacted? but I can't go home for now.

I've been unconscious for two days, and it looks like the huge curse on my back and left shoulder won't heal even for quite a while. fuck... I really want to go home, if it wasn't in such a mess as I am right now.

~~~~~

Even standing alone in the middle of the night, right in front of my dorm room window like this didn't calm me down in the least. I need to get some fresh air outside…

My power count was reduced by one after bringing that man back alive though I heard he was sentenced to death instead. Forty-eight... Minus ninety percent, four point eight.

Even five soul powers still made it a little difficult for me to touch literally anything... Looks like I'll have to ask Ellie again to bring me an extra power-reducing bracelet. Let me use two bracelets at the same time if that's how it actually works…

But wait... Doesn't that mean that my strength will decrease by another ninety percent until only half a soul remains? Is there really a person in this world who can live with half soul power? How weak will I be then?

After walking quite a distance, to the end of the forest, I decided to sit under a tree on the edge of this super wide lake. Silently taking a deep breath without feeling the tiredness I usually feel, I'm at least a little proud of myself.

The morning sun began to shine on the surface of the water, I could hear many birds chirping that just woke up from their sleep… Some of their voices sounded a little weird. Like the sound of a robot. Hey! What kind of bird... Oh... It's the tone of my incoming phone call.

“Deo?” I asked myself, who then fell silent after seeing someone else's name on the screen. But at least it didn't disappoint me... Because the one calling is a girl. “Ellie.”

“Where are you!?” She yelled.

“Was taking shelter under a tree... After walking outside alone in the morning. You wanna come?” That question just now was just a trite. I swear to god… But this girl…

“Sure. Take and send a photo of your current location. I'll teleport over there.”

“Fuck…”

“What?”

“No, nothing…”

“Hmm… Okay. Hurry now.” The connection was turned off by Ellie, while I obeyed all of her words just now. Then this girl suddenly appeared, standing in front of me, in her clothes like I've seen once before in such a different place…

At least her oversized black sweater was enough to calm my wild thoughts down…

“You want me to remind you of what you're wearing? Give yourself my opinion on it? Or should I just shut up and…”

She didn't heed my offer, this girl just sat on the grass right beside me.

Where again, she just fell silent while looking at the scenery that I should be enjoying myself… Why is it so hard for me to guess what's inside this girl's head?

When there are only two possible reasons for her to be silent like this, why can't I just decide on one and stick to that single thing so I don't feel guilty to myself?

And why should I feel guilty anyway? It's this girl's fault!

What a thief!

~~~~~

“Isn't the ground you're sitting on wet?”

“I can be called literally, the embodiment of water itself.”

Jesus… “So you're looking for me for what reason?”

“Hmm… I forget. Oh! I've been holding back since yesterday from saying this because you clearly seem to be in pain. But Niel, Hear me now before I forget. This is very important.”

That's where Ellie put her serious expression on something again...

~~~~~