“You hear me?”

“Huh?” Opened my eyes, turned to ask, my back was patted by someone.

“You okay son? You look like you’re going to faint.” Wait… I know whose voice this is. Is this Edward's voice?

So I'm in the liar's white room, right now? London? Since when?

I look around to make sure... There are ten people sitting in a circle, behind a table arranged like a ring. Facing the center. Facing me both front and back…

Like a place of judgment. Or the auction of me as a slave.

Then I saw Ellie standing near the door. Her eyes are still moist, maybe because she cried before coming here?

She’s forcing her back to stay and act strong, yet several times rubbing her own cheek from what was left after the tears.

I can't remember why she was crying and I don't remember how long I've been standing here either… But I quite understand what they've been talking about all this time.

Where the ten elders except for Edward and Ellie were arguing about which hand I should be thrown into. Is it to this country? Or that country... Even after a few times until now, I can actually feel the aura of hatred from their own envy and despair as if it was airtight locked in this pale white cramped room.

After all, having two great carriers in the same country already sounds too much for everyone. These people are even willing to compare their stupidity in running a country, about which country is far more fucked just to claim themselves worthy enough for having me. In my opinion, each of their ways of thinking is quite narrow…

Because they didn't suspect in the slightest what the fee and what was the reason for my magic power seemed to be much stronger than any other magic in general. They didn't ask themselves, shouldn't every power possessed by these great carriers be equal and balanced with one to another?

Means there are negative things that we will bear if we have him, don't we? But, meh... No one seems to think that logically.

Well…

Do whatever you want with me.

I know and I'm starting to give in to the pain anyway…

After all, there's no way I can protect anyone without getting hurt by my own curse, so it doesn't make any difference anymore. In fact, I would be happier if you gave me a higher rank than what I currently have. Who knows then, I can invite Deo and Fanya to live in a solid safe base like the one you guys have here right now.

Yeah… That sounds really like a good idea for me…

“Gentlemen, enough of your debates. It's not worth talking about that in front of these children…” One of these elders sounds like he's on my side, before then he continued his intent.

“Your abilities are very promising, son. You can even be much more useful than you think you already are! If only we could utilize that power to its fullest…”

So you’re the same after all...

“Listen.” Next, here comes Edward telling all of us to pay attention to what he had to say.

“With the abilities you currently have... Maybe you can actually turn the world around, at least to keep the conditions from getting any worse, while all of our members spread out and gain the trust of everyone in the world. If we think about it, making Daniel the main face of the sins taker will give the other sins takers time to grow stronger and even stronger. Daniel, hear me out. We can give you a place in the important part of the sins taker… But first, you have to make us sure... Will you take the role?”

I really want to say yes to that.

No… I would indeed say yes to the same thing, no matter what…

But somehow my heart hurts from something that I don't really know what that is. Like this another guy inside me was screaming just to warn, “I really will regret that decision.”

But what decision really?

I was not even given any choice from the start. But that's not a bad thing right?

Or… Is it?

there's something wrong with me. Perhaps…

Gosh… What the hell is this feeling?

Such a stinging feeling that feels right deep in my own heart…

That voice again yelled at me to do something to stop the words of these old people.

And then out of nowhere, someone came to try to make it become real… “No!” She said.

It wasn't me, but that girl's voice from behind suddenly echoed in the whole room. “Evelin?” The man that standing right in front of me tilted his head, looking at who had just rejected such a great idea. “You have something you want to say, lady?”

“No…” Unfortunately her voice grew even weaker.

Lowered her head, like afraid of something. There was a time when I had a little hope for one reason or another she might have... But it seems to be useless for both of us. Like… Even if all of a sudden this girl really comes to…

Comes to…

Wait…

What did she come for again?

There's no reason for this girl to meddle in my troubles, isn’t she?

Even this is not really a problem.

Because this is all for the sake of protecting them... The people I care about the most. It's not a problem, it's a solution!

So it will be a Yes from me.

Yes, I can still endure this kind of pain.

Yes I can give Deo and Fanya more than anything.

“Yes, I will look forward to that… Sir.”

I replied to Edward's words, with a warm smile like always.

“Okay, that’s great! Eveline? Now you can go. I have an important matter to discuss with just all the elders in this room… And of course also with Daniel in it.” Edward spoke as he tidied up the papers on his desk. And without any response, I could hear the door opening then closing right from behind me.

~~~~~

But at the end, for an hour or even two, everyone just went back to arguing. I thought things had calmed down a bit for them to think more clearly, yet still…

Now they are even delaying the decision as to what I should accept, and telling me to go back home to rest. They would discuss the whole situation in a much more private meeting, which they wouldn't even allow me to join next time.

Then I closed the door from the outside, where Ellie was standing there, speechless. I'm also not sure what to say, so I just asked her to teleport me back home…

Or should I say dormitory?

I think she misunderstood what I meant by the word home.

“Ellie, I mean the dorm... Not to this empty alley… I mean Guinaian. I can’t meet my friends in this such condition, so don’t you think I better just take a rest right away?”

“Why did you take it…” She asked.

“What now?”

“Why did you accept that guy's offer?!”

“Ellie. I'm not in the mood to argue with you right now. So please just give me some time, okay?”

“Earlier… You wanted to ask me to save you, didn't you?!”

“Hah?!”

“You wanted me to take you away from that place! You were asking deep inside like you were screaming, weren't you?! So why…” She started crying again.

Wait…

Fuck… Oh fuck…

Is that it?! Is that what I wanted to say earlier?

That’s it!

That was what I expected from Ellie's words, earlier!

Shit… What’s with this fucking weird feeling now right in my chest?!

“I tried to help you... But why didn't you come to me when I was right there!” Lowered her face, holding back the tears that were already overflowing.

Now I feel like the dumbest person in the whole world.

“How…”

“How did I know? I don’t know either! It's just that I suddenly thought so and it's true! You admit it, right?! Means I was right!” Ellie started to be confident while speaking, she now stopped her crying while rubbing her cheek.

“So that’s how it is?” I tried to hold her shoulder... But my hand stopped before I dared touch it.

“I feel so annoyed with you for making me look weak during that fight... You are just so annoying, and I couldn't help it because you were really trying to be so! I lost control because of it. And… And I just really wanted to get your recognition.”

“Sorry about that….” Apologizing, not the shoulder, I decided to rub her head instead.

“That's when I suddenly realized that... You actually know I wasn't being myself back then and you managed to wake me up…”

just as I expected, this girl is just like me.

The feeling is the same as when we are forced to wake up by someone in a morning full of busyness and responsibility.

Well… Maybe not quite like that, but the feeling from how we try to deny if we ever put on that sullen face, hate everything we have been and are fighting for… And suddenly feel that the self we hate the most is the truest self at our best.

Our other selves, which we never cared to believe that side actually existed…

But… Did this girl really just manage to wake me up?

Or instead… Does she make me fall asleep into the person that I've been worrying about all this time?

Like horns of a dilemma…

~~~~~

Let me make a choice that is in favor of this girl, because whichever part of me is right, I will choose the one with whom I am waking up right now…

So… “Maybe I was just so exhausted in that room back there. I can’t even think clearly. Maybe you're right about things earlier.”

“Maybe?! No! I was really very very right about it.”

“Yeah, yeah… Whatever kiddo.” I started to feel nauseous, so I resolved the issue. “Can I sit down for a second?” And without waiting for an answer, I immediately plopped down on the ground. Sat there, breathed, strained…

“You okay?” In a hoarse voice after crying, snot she pulled, she asked cutely... But… It’s actually a little gross.

~~~~~

“Daniel, I think it's the time for you to tell that cute angel about everything.”

“Elis, please shut up…”

“Elis? Who is Elis again? Oh... The god inside of you that you always mention?”

I tried to hide my surprise when Ellie suddenly answered those words that accidentally came out of my mouth due to Elis' cunning persuasion in my mind…

Like, Elis! This is not the time for it!

“Dude… Trust me.”

Shut up! You know nothing.

“Even I myself know in the future that you will hate me much more than now, but you will need it. You need this girl more than anything, Daniel. Trust me.”

“Daniel?”

“Ugh… Goddamnit… Okay, fine. Ellie… I’ll tell you everything about it. I admit I was wrong, so I think this is much wiser than keeping it as a secret.”

Leaning my back against the wall, I started to talk about many things. Sounding like an old man telling a story to his grandchild, I strung everything down to the roots… We should have needed a bonfire at times like these, where Ellie sat right next to me, hugging her knees with her head tilted to hear all of my stories.

“Can you keep everything about this as a secret?” I'm trying to make sure this girl won't leak anything to anyone in the future.

“So we're immortal?!”

“You're such an innocent girl who is always honest about what to say, aren’t you? Talking about that... I'm not sure why you're interested in such a painful fact, but it's true... We great carriers no longer have age.”

“Then I'll keep it a secret forever! Oh! Does the story about destiny apply in this world as well? About the bond between gods and goddesses with… Eh! Wait… Never mind…”

“Stop canceling your questions right after you hit the middle! Continue it!”

“So are you in pain right now?”

“Changing the subject, huh? But... Well you're right.”

“Don't you know that I can heal any wound and disease?”

“You can't heal the curse… This is not a kind of wound, don’t you get it?”

Ellie was silent as if in thought. Looks like she's starting to understand, but... “Let me touch!” Suddenly she moved her hand with such kind of lightning speed. So I grasped and pulled the arm away from my cursed shoulder, with a heightened sense of worry, then I hit her forehead lightly.

“You idiot! Didn't I tell you the pain could be dangerous to anyone but myself?!”

“But…” She cast her gaze sideways and downwards.

“Alright… We can continue this story tomorrow. But for now, I think I still need a lot of rest. So, how about we go home first?” I forced myself to stand up, I looked at Ellie with something that was even warmer than my usual smile.

“How long will it take for the curse to heal?”

I have a feeling if she won't like the answer…

“Three days.”

“No, the honest one please.” Speaking as if she already knew me well enough, Ellie also stood up as she dusted her pants off the dirt. Then she pinched my shirt-sleeve getting ready to teleport.

“Maybe two week? No... It was much worse before. So maybe only eight to ten days.”

“I see… Next time, always tell me everything you need to say, okay? Not only just what you want to say, but everything! Do you hear me?! We'll think of a way out of the problem you raised while talking to that edward earlier.”

We teleported after she finished talking. “Get some rest, and... See you tomorrow, Niel… Good night. Take care… Have a good-”

“Shut up.” I closed the door to my room from the inside while laughing. Where I was still smiling at Ellie, before then I suddenly just fell to the floor, sweat dripping all over the place.

I think I already lasted long enough for today…

But, yeah… Maybe this is too much for someone like myself…

Damn... I fainted…

~~~~~