《Jinsei: Resonate》The Noise of His Thoughts
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Hanae took a while to arrive in the classroom, but class hadn’t still started.
On her way to class, one of the teachers asked her to tell Isamu that he had to visit the teachers’ lounge after school for ‘reasons’. Hanae didn’t question it; Isamu did skip class for a whole week and slept his way past the one before that.
“Maybe after this, Matsumoto will take school a little more seriously,” she thought as she agreed to the taller man with significantly better eyesight than his attitude, even with the thick lenses that adorned his glasses.
“But from him of all people?” The thought worried her but she waved these worries away in the thought of it ‘helping Matsumoto’.
Arriving at the door, she notices Isamu and Mareo were giggling away at something. She held back asking what it was about. She greets Isamu, who she hasn’t seen for over a week since they clashed at the corner of the bookstore, and heads to her desk.
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Isamu peers through the small gap left between the sliding door and its frame. “ Good thing he asked me to come after school… I don’t know what’d happen had there been a gathering here! ”
“Excuse me, sensei? I was told to come here after school…”
One of the two teachers in the room, a spectacled man with light stubbles replies, “Ah, yes. Hello, Matsumoto-kun. Good to see you’re finally in good health. Come in. Come in.”
“Pardon the intrusion…” Isamu mumbles, walking in and closes the door behind him.
“So, Matsumoto-kun?” He turns his chair and rests one leg atop another.
Questioning what he means, Isamu stands silently in front of him.
“What are your thoughts on bending rules?”
“Where did that come from?” “Um… I don’t quite…”
“You are one of our brightest, so I thought your thoughts might be of value!” He says with an imposing smile. “You see, there are these students…”
“Y-yes?”
“They think they’re going to get let off the hook for skipping class just because they’re getting the right percentage of attendance down.”
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“Uhm…I don’t really know what-”
“There are reports from the teachers saying they don’t even pay attention in class…” He pushes a paper forward. A test paper and a not-so-recent one, too. “You see, our school’s a prestigious one… We can’t really have students behaving like so.”
The test paper bears his name. “That’s from almost a month ago… Come to think of it, how long has it been since I attended an exam?…”
His eyes hover towards the ‘marks’ box; the numbers above and below the line have quite a bit of a crevice, about 40. “Should I look more surprised? What’s this all about?”
“So, Matsumoto-kun? What are your thoughts regarding this?”
“I- I’m not sure…” “Should I try to sound a little more nervous?”
“Not sure? Then let me make it easier for you. Should there be a punishment issued or not?” He takes a file lying on his desk leans back as he flips through it. “Just tell me your honest opinion.”
“Uh…yes…” Isamu looks around the room. The other teacher is getting ready to leave.
“Now, I’m sure you’ve noticed who I’m talking about. What would you like for a punishment?” He pulls his glasses a little down his nose-bridge as he reads the documents in his hand.
“You really did well to destroy my perception of you, young man. You come into this institute knowing the high bar of expectation set for you! And as someone who was solely admitted because of merit, you shouldn’t be allowed to fall below the standard set for you!”
“Who are you and why am I being ‘perceived’? As much as I want to say that,I know I dug my own grave by coming to this school!” He feels a sense of relief from reminding himself that the room is vacant.
“Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“I-” Isamu stops to make way for the other teacher to pass by.
“I'll be leaving early today, Sakai,” they say to the spectacled teacher as they reach the door.
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“Yes, senpai. Thank you for the hard work,” the man says in a significantly more polite and mellow tone compared to the past few minutes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” the other staff member says, closing the door.
“Tomorrow, then,” he says and immediately drops the file when he is sure that the other teacher has walked away.
Isamu, who seemed to be in thought, is brought back from his thoughts by the teacher’s voice.
“Why have you been slacking off on your studies?” He asks, resting his head on his fist and in a much-relaxed voice.
“I- no…It’s…the…uh…”
“Geez, man! Get it together! You should be able to lie through your teeth at this age! What happened to the power of youth, eh?”
“Huh?”
The man unbuttons the upper two of his shirt, angles his chair back and stretches his legs. He exhales and it sounds much too close to a moan, although he doesn’t seem to care.
After a moment of his muscles tensing up, he lets his body drop atop the chair. The almost turns over, but he manages to keep it from doing that.
Isamu hadn’t flinched when Hanae told him that this man called him over for this chat but the ‘exhale’ sure did. “The power of what?” Isamu would question if the sudden shift in attitude didn’t give birth to more urgent ones.
“Man, you really set a high bar for yourself!” The man says before sitting back up again. “ HAHA! I hadn’t looked into your test scores before, but oh did you kill yourself there!”
“Uh…”
“Hmm? Is there a problem?”
As Isamu tries to form his words, the teacher proceeds to relieve him of his confusion:
“What? That? It’s my job to say all that, man! Well, not my job but … You get it, right?
“Not that we don’t care, but certainly not me! For all I know, you can fail your way through these two remaining years … wait, no… remaining year and a half.
“Just live your youth years to the fullest! You’ll regret it if you don’t! What’s with all these tests? The mental damage they deal to you little youngins should be illegal in the least! At the end of the day, it’s just another piece of paper…”
His rambling continues and Isamu is more than eager to simply leave the room.
“The last thing I need now is a lecture on this youth crap! Why does society worship it? WHY? Enjoying myself isn't going to get me what I want ...Who am I kidding? Nothing’s gonna help me with that!
“Not grades, not books, not this, not you, not this school, not trying my hardest, NOTHING! Not even commi- no, definitely not that! It’s getting out of hand again… I’ve got to… Now!”
“So, basically, don’t worry about your grades. They won’t even matter in a few months! You hear me?” He notices Isamu beginning to sweat profusely and springs up from his chair.
Grabbing Isamu by his shoulders, he says, “Are you okay? Do you need to visit the nur-”
“N-no… I’m fine, sensei.”
“I see… Well, I’ve held you here for long enough…” He releases Isamu and tells him to take his test paper.
As Isamu is about to open the door, the teacher says, “Take care of yourself, kid. I haven’t seen bags that bad under the eyes of students before.”
Isamu turns around to bow and excuses himself.
..............................................................................................
As soon as he exits the faculty room, he scrambles for his earphones. When he has them in his ears, he checks his phone and the volume bar shoots into the red zone. The message of warning appears and disappears as it does so.
As does the noise of his thoughts.
Isamu rolls up the paper and shoves it into his pocket. Mareo's going to be with Hanae today, so he heads home.
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