June 4th 20XX

I’m at the pool party. It’s loud and I’m quietly sitting at a table on my phone absently looking through twitter. I’m dressed in a pink silk Hawaiian shirt, the first two top buttons undone, with nothing underneath, my glasses and a pair of swimming trunks that stop above my knee that I’ve had since I was 15 (I’m happy it fits me again). Everyone here is beautiful and young and happy. There’s this distinct mood of drunkenness, well smaller, so I guess buzzness, but they’re not bees, they’re just attractive young teachers. And Administrators. And Principals. It feels like everyone from the school faculty is here (aside from the other bus drivers). I’m the youngest of them and the only bus driver there. Larry and Laura the other bus drivers weren’t invited but they’re married and in their 60s. Even if Laura gives the principal a run for her money when it comes to gilfness. Is it bad that I want to fuck Laura? Larry asked me if I’d be interested in coming over to their house back in April. Laura put her hand on my thigh and I just about busted right then and there, but I don’t do relationships. At least, not right now. Too distracting and it’s too easy for it to become just another escape. Also I feel like it’d be weird to fuck a married woman in front of her husband. Kinda weird and kinda hot. Who knows, I still have their number. They are one of the few people who message me from time to time. It’s nice to know I’m somewhat wanted, even though at this pool party I feel anything but. I sit quietly and people-watch all their happy little moments in between scrolling through the boring tweets of people living similarly boring lives.

Toran’s here, I got to the pool party about an hour after it started and she was already there. She was conspicuously wearing this little cover thing over her waist and a black long sleeve T-shirt but not soon after she saw me she let her glorious thiccness out. Maybe there’s a connection but also everyone started jumping into the pool around that time. Anyways, I’m here. Sitting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for what? Toran’s nowhere near me and I haven’t talked to her since I got here and it’s already been like two hours. I don’t want to put myself out there. Not that I’m scared of rejection but cause I don’t want to have the prompt of rejection, I don’t need a relationship to feel happy. I don’t need her giant thighs to crush my skull every night, I don’t need someone to cuddle up to and feel whole, I don’t need it. Even if I want it. Even if I want it, there’s no one. Except for Laura, and the principal (she’s also married but she invited me to lunch in her office during the last week of school and told me that they were going to restructure the bus program a bit and that if I needed work to come to her. She had unbuttoned like four buttons on her blouse and caressed my hand during the meeting. But the moment I saw the ring on her finger my boner was just killed. I don’t cheat. Cuckolding another guy is different when he consents, but even then!). I guess I know I have options but that’s not the point, the point is that I’m unhappy alone and I’m fucking mad that BicepMasterx769 hasn’t said a fucking thing and I’ve had this stupid delusion that a strong man would lift me off my feet to go take me to the gym, to lift. Is that too much to ask for? I breathe in deeply, close my eyes….wait a beat or five and let out a big breath. Recenter. It’s okay. You’re okay. Even if I might be unemployed.

I don’t like parties. I haven’t been to one in like, half a decade? That feels like such a dramatic way to just say “five years” but whatever. I take a sip of Hawaiian punch in my red cup and decide it’s time to leave. Before I take two steps she calls out to me “Arthur! Hey Arthur!” my entire body freezes up and a trickle of needles runs up my spine. Excitement and a clear sense of fear rushes through me. I know who it is before I turn around.

“Uh, hey Toran. How’s- how’s it going?” I say. She was already walking to me with a big smile and her long dark hair down and undeniably wet and shining. It’s just her and before I know it she’s directly in front of me, the sunlight shimmering down over her pale skin

“I’m doing well. How’re you enjoying the party?” she saks

“I’m enjoying relaxing, doing a lot of relaxing.” I try to hide my phone as I talk. She’s still smiling but beneath it I can tell she’s thinking something. Why’s this beautiful woman so interested in me? I’m boring.

“Well it’s a party! C’mon, try and have some fun. Maybe drink a little.” she says with a smart little smile.

“Honestly this isn’t my kind of scene to be honest. I like staying at home and stuff. This is just too…”

“Too what? Too much?”

“Too not for me” Her smile died with that. I could tell she was starting to lose interest but when she grabbed my hand and motioned me to sit back down at the table it surprised me. I know I’m ruining my chances with her but I don’t even want any chances. So why am I sitting down across from her and wondering about what could be hiding under that black bikini.

“So what’s more of your speed then?” she asks. Her hands forming under her chin as she looks up and across from me. Toran is really pretty. Small cute nose, sunken forehead, a chin that curves down. It’s a beautiful face, one that almost feels familiar. The most striking thing about her really are her arms, filled with tattoos and the smallest shadows of scars underneath the tattoos are probably why she usually wears dresses and fully covering clothing, especially in this heat.

“Um. I don’t know. I guess this. Sitting down across from someone and having a conversation,” I put my mediocre drink down on the table and place my fore-arms down in a triangle in front of me. I see the reflection of my face with two red shining circles reflected back at me in her eyes, maybe that’s why she’s talking to me. “I like just getting away from everything and everyone and just talking to someone one to one. I don’t do well in mega social situations where I have to be charming or whatever.”

Toran nods up at me with a look of understanding. I can feel her looking directly into my eyes and she begins to look more familiar to me. “I know you from somewhere don’t I?” I ask her.

She gives this exasperated smile and says “Yes Arthur. We went to high school together, I literally said that when I invited you.”

“Yeah but I didn’t remember back then.”

“And now you do?”

“Sort of. It was so long ago. But you remember me?”

“How could I not? You weren’t like talkative or anything but the quiet dark kid with the special eyes, you stood out. Same way all anyone could talk about was the stacked goth chick. You just stood out by how hole in the wall-y you were, on top of y’know.”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Y’know, the whole, “He’s an ascended” or “he’s a neo!” it was all anyone would talk about.”

“Well I’m not one of them.”

“We didn’t know that but still, we just saw his face everywhere growing up and around town, it was hard not to see the resemblance and not think something was up or whatever, you didn’t know?”

“People left me alone. I didn’t need to or want to know what they did or didn’t think about me.”

“Look, it was a long time ago.”

“So why’re we talking about it?”

“You brought it up.”

“It’s brought up every single time someone ever talks or sees me.”

“I didn’t bring it up.”

“So why’re you talking to me and grabbing my hand and inviting me to this?” We were starting to get progressively louder at this point. A small bit of anger flared through me. It gets tiring dealing with this but what can I expect? I’m back home.

“Arthur. You need to calm down.”

“I am calm” I am calm.(maybe)

“Whatever you say man. I just thought it’d be good for you to get out or something. It’s weird seeing the same guy you knew from five years ago. We all have to change some time.”

“I’m here aren’t I?”

“Are you though?” She gathered whatever she had at the table and left after she said that. She showed no signs of any emotion on her face and I was left with this deep feeling of disappointment and regret. For what? I couldn’t pinpoint but I will tell myself it’s for everything. I cup the punch in my hands and stare at the bright red liquid. I feel like I’m 15 again staring directly into the same bright red bullshit hearing the sounds of laughter, enjoyment and ridicule. I want to apologize to Toran but I can’t bring myself to move. I want to tell her to come back but all I can think about is that stupid party all those years ago.

I just turned 15. It’s the middle of summer, my mom dragged me to a party an hour away from home at a weirdo german’s house. He’s an old family friend, rich, extravagantly rich and beyond well connected. I don’t care about that, I just want to talk to her but can’t let my family find out about her. Who the fuck knows what they would do. I’m swallowing down the punch as kids my age run around and get into trouble. The punch at the party is the most delicious thing I’ve ever drank in my life, a mixture of fresh fruits that I hadn’t tasted in years, since the last time I went to one of his parties. I’m doing everything I can to savor the delicious liquid. Each time I go to one of these things it’s a different combination of fruit, usually something simple and then a completely random fruit that makes the whole thing pop. I want to savor the punch. A few months later I’ll have the same feeling.

“Why hello there young Artur” William, the family friend and host of the party, snaps me away from the delicious beverage in front of me. It’s likely he was there watching me and I wouldn’t have known it. By the time I look up to where he spoke he’s sitting across from me at the table, while the swarming mass of ascended ignore us. I shift in my seat. William has this sweet little old man smile, one that trembles with every single one of his hairless wrinkles all over his face and head. Inside my head was a mess of thoughts and fears because he spoke to me. No one ever speaks to me at these things, not even my family. I just sit quietly drinking the punch and hope my brothers or their friends don’t get any ideas. They hadn’t ever done anything in public but they always threatened in between the moments where I hid and where they did. They hurt me. William’s eyes are bright yellow, and on this warm summer day they shine like honey. Mine are still brown.

“I’m fine. Enjoying this punch.” I whisper.

“It’s got these otterson apples a friend gave me, some sort of raspberries that my servant grew in the garden and a dragonfruit I picked up the other day. People have been telling me it’s delicious” I take another sip of the almost violet liquid, before nodding my head in agreement. I should’ve said “It’s delicious “ but I was even more awkward then, than I am now. I didn’t want to say anything to possibly upset the richest and most well connected ascended in the world. A man who could as easily maim or make someone as I could take a breath. William is long lived, powerful but one thing separates him from every other ascended, he’s old. And he looks old unlike any other incredibly long lived outsider, including him. Especially including him even though it’s been said in whispers that he’s even older than William. The old fart would know but I don’t care enough to ask him or pay the price he’d ask for the answer, but sitting across from the William I can’t do anything but sit in the swirling mass of thoughts, fears, and worst of all, rumors. You live in a family of ascended with a sister with as big of a mouth as she’s got you hear all sorts of rumors, with no chance of ever actually getting anything to be clear. So when he asked me “What are you thinking about?” I can’t believe I asked him;

“Were you really a nazi?” The whole entire party froze. A joyous rancor of hooting, hollering, joking and general fun-having ended instantly, and the sudden shock of way too many powerful ascended looking directly at me with blood in their eyes broke me down, I lost track of everything, until in his quiet old german voice of his, he said “Follow me young Artur.” And the last thing I remember was seeing his sweet little old man smile die, to reveal a dead eyed ancient monster. I still don’t even know how I followed him caught up in all of my fear. Was the only thing I could do I guess.

He took me to the dining room of his empty mansion. Candles were eternally lit in this old victorian death trap and before he even told me to, I sat down in this great oak chair and after a minute of his deliberate gait pounding against the hardwood floor he arrived at the other head of this long wooden table, and he stared across from me, the air between us icy and his previously warm eyes showed something terrifying.

“I was always a German,” The words come out so excruciatingly slow, but every part of my being is enthralled in his words. “ I lived with my parents as a good son until the day they died, afterwards I explored the world. Along the way I met your father. I can see so much of him in you, in the face, in the heart, in so many things.” He finishes his sentence in a whispered tone before continuing.

“Your father told me to not conquer, that was two thousand years ago. I remember the way his eyes looked whenever he told me to not oppress or be cruel, to be kind to humans, he was so afraid. Back then I didn’t think of myself as anything other than human. Becoming friends with your father; Luke, showed me that I was more than human. He told me the history of our shared people, our myths, our legends, our prophecies and of our dooms. We explored the new world and set ourselves up well, but part of my heart was always going to be in my homeland. I returned in the year 1900, fought in the first great war, I lived and died and lived in those trenches for years. After the war I spent so long wandering around, aimless, until I was given an opportunity, the man William wasn’t needed, nor was the Jager, but the god. The immortal, endlessly living god. I volunteered for my country. For a homeland that had been broken and shattered, for a homeland that some were saying should become stronger and more pure. They experimented endlessly on me, I was locked away in a cage while faceless scientists and my country men tortured and broke me, over and over again. Then the Russians and Americans came, they freed me, but I hated them all the same. When I stared at my reflection in the mirror for the first time I did not recognize the old face that stared back, aside from a single thing. The same fear in Luke’s eyes.” The silence that held me turned into awe as he finished his whisper, before the abrupt dragging of the chair on the wood floor interrupted the moment and I walked the whole length of the long, smoky room and I extended my hand, and at first William only looked confused, before a sudden bright flash of his eye and the only genuine smile he had in too long cracked his bygone face and with a smile in his voice he told me “I find it queer since the children of us supposed ‘gods’ look nothing like us, but in so many ways you are his spitting image. I think that is why he hates you so much. Now get back to your punch and leave an old man be.” I sped walked my spry little legs out of that house faster than I had ever speed walked in my life and as I got out from his mansion to his porch overlooking his estate all I saw for what seemed like forever, were the vibrantly colored eyes of ascended; angry, wicked and out for blood and with his arms crossed and his handsome slightly bearded face leading them, was my father Luke. That was when I had stopped fearing them, at least for that day. Thinking back all I can remember is the calm I felt sitting in that dining room as William spoke, it’s the only good part of that day. Oh and the punch.

The walk to my car was strange. On the way I heard whispers and felt the preening eyes of my co-workers. Well former co-workers, not like I’m going to have a job after Toran or is it Toren? I forget, whatever, what that goth chick will say about me. A girl? The woman. A woman who just wanted me to get out of my shell. I mean I didn’t really say or do anything too bad but still, maybe I could’ve been nicer? But why the hell is he always brought up, I know we look alike and shit but fuck man. Can’t I just not be associated with them? Yeah I talk to my mom and sister but that’s it, why do I gotta be fuckin. Fucking always in their shadow and shit, it’s been FIVE years. It’s been long enough for people to stop bringing it up. Long enough for them to move on, right. They need to move on. THEY NEED TO MOVE ON. THEY NEED TO FUCKING STOP WORRYING ABOUT HOW AND WHAT I AM BECAUSE IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER. IT HAS never MATTERED! Not five YEARS ago and definitely not NOW.

So why the fuck am I letting it matter to me.

I’m just standing outside of my car looking blankly into a white picket fence in this small upscale neighborhood on the nice side of town. I’m cracking but I can’t bring myself to move anymore than a cat wants to swim. The tears welled up in my eyes and I haven’t hurt inside this bad since february. That’s when the urge to get inside my car and ram it into a streetlamp flashes through me and before I realize where I am I’m inside the car. The windows are shut and my key’s in the ignition. I'm sitting in the sweltering heat of my car and almost instantly I’m drenched in sweat and I think it’s probably okay if I cry right now, so I do. So I do. My chest heaves. Nothing comes from my eyes, my head is hanging low and my body feels like it’s alight with fire both inside and out. It takes everything to not slam my hands onto the dashboard like an idiot but I’m mad, sad and just want a way out of this. Knock knock knock the glass goes and my whole body feels like it’s been stabbed by a fucking knife as it seizes up with the knowledge that someone has been watching me while at least part of this has been going on. When I’m ready to deal with the knock knock knock I turn on the car ignition andwarm musty air comes out from the air ports as I roll the window down to see to my very surprise, it’s Toran.

“How can I help you?” I ask her. She has no idea what to say to that and just stands there to the side of my car with her arms crossed. I can feel a small bit of wetness on my face but make no motion to wipe it off. I don’t care if she sees me or not.

“Look I’m. I shouldn’t even be apologizing, I just wanted to be your friend and get you out of your shell. You got your own issues you gotta figure out and I’m not here for that-

“So why are you here?” I interrupt her, my red eyes still staring deep into her. She shifts uncomfortably before,

“Because I brought up something you’re sensitive about like it was nothing, which is nothing to me but it is definitely something to you.” Looking up at her I realize that she has scars on her arms and inner wrists, scars that haven’t been totally covered by tattoos that from this position are clearly sideways and a sight I’m not unfamiliar with. I wipe away the tears from my face.

“It’s okay, I guess I just haven’t really processed it yet. I’m sorry for getting angry at you. You didn’t do anything wrong but it’s also just not something I wanna talk about with someone I kinda barely know y’know? Again. I’m sorry.”

“Apology sort of accepted, look, let’s just pretend that didn’t happen okay?” she says, I shake my head at her before changing the subject.

“Why’re you putting yourself out there this much?” I ask her.

“What?”

“I’ve dated a lot of people and know when someone is interested in me and know when someone’s had too much and you don’t know me enough to let yourself go through this-” She blushed at that. “So what’s going on?”

“You’re interesting.”

“Okay.” I say while wiggling my head.

“There’s not a lot of interesting people and town and I don’t know man fuck. Haha. Ugh. You’re fascinating.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Well I want to find out.”

“Look, I’m gonna go home, you have my number I think, just text me whenever or call me. Actually call me I hate getting texted and I’m not particularly good at it. Just call me whenever you want and we can talk about it but I’m. Just goodbye Toran. Sorry again for getting mad, s’not fair to you.” I shoot her a peace sign as I pull out from the driveway that’s over congested with cars. In the rearview mirror she shoots me one back. The drive home is long, silent and crisp, the cold breeze rushing into my car on the highway and filling the driver’s side up with a distinct chill colliding with the heat. When I get home I throw off all of my clothes, turn on the air conditioning and take a nap under a few too many blankets.

RING RING. KNOCK KNOCK. Is the noise that wakes me up from my absolutely amazing depression nap and forces me to experience the absolutely terrible cotton mouth I usually get whenever I nap. My eyesight is blurry (until I put my glasses on, but I can’t seem to find), my head is groggy my cock is at half mast and the only thing I want to do is drink some water and or get back to sleep (even though I know I probably can’t). I rise like a zombie from a grave dressed in nothing but some red polka dot boxers, letting my flat tummy I’ve been working hard on for the past few months show to no one in particular. My room is almost too cold and completely dark. In spite of the late ending summer day, my blinds are doing their job rather well.

The living room is alight in the dying embers of a sunset and through my blurred vision I make my way to the bathroom when another KNOCK KNOCK hits the front door, just a bit more powerfully. Throwing on a leftover shirt on the couch I saunter slowly to my door, the feeling of my sore throat echoing in my head. The door swings open to reveal.

A stranger. A cute stranger with curly, short almost white blonde hair, a pug nose, enchanting blue eyes all on what I can describe as a beautiful heart shaped face that I have to look down on.

“Who are you?” I ask in my sleepiest voice.

“Katherin. Wait no. Okay yes my name is Katherin but you’ll know me as…” She stops talking, waits a beat and FLEXES the most bodacious biceps I have ever seen in my entire life, instantly waking me up from my stupor.

“Bicepmasterx69?” I say as my body involuntarily takes a step back.

“Yes” I rush around the house and find my glasses on the counter with my keyes, and finally get a clear view of her.

“I thought you’d be a uh.” She’s tiny, and ripped and wearing yoga pants and a neon green crop top. A cute fit girl is the one and only description that comes to my mind.

“A what?” Not a fucking cute girl.

“Not a fucking cute girl.”

“I didn’t think you’d answer the door in your underwear mr.thunderthighs9001”

“Wait, did I just say that?” I say out loud.

“Yes, now, can I come in? I’ve come a long way and would like to get some sleep.” I move from the doorway and she comes in like she owns the place.

“Look uh, you can get comfortable on the couch, I’ll make-I’ll clean my room so it might be a while. Want anything from the fridge?” I walk over to the small kitchen, open the cupboard, take out a glass before filling it with water. Katherin is staring knives into my skull. I don't have to see her to know that she is. I pretend to not notice it and stare straight ahead as I drain the cup of all it’s liquid. Turning to her I speak again “So uh, where’re you from?”

“North Carolina. Look I’m tired so could you hurry up and do whatever you need to so that I can sleep?” I just give her an exasperated look.

“Look sorry I didn’t have everything ready, I haven’t heard from you in months and yeah.”

“But the offer still stands to stay here?” she asks, almost bored.

“Yes.”

“So get to it mr.thunderthighs9001. And don’t forget to put on some pants.”

“My name is Arthur and right away your highness.” I say sardonically, she smiled at that one. Not an annoyed smile but the kind I used to get. The kind that I’m way too familiar with and one that five hours ago I would’ve purposefully ignored, but now I don’t.

My room was not as much of a mess as I thought it would’ve been. There was only a cup on the desk and a half full trash can to really take care of. The bed itself was a mess but after a quick turnaround trip to the dumpster, it was dealt with. Though by the time it was all said and done, Katherin was already dozing on the couch, she was not lying about her tiredness.

“Bed’s done queen Kat,” She woke with a start, gave me a look and followed me to the now spic and span room. “Here’s where you’ll be staying. If you need anything just yell for me.”

The sound of her hitting the bed with a thump reverberated throughout the house and not soon after I heard the quiet, rhythmic rise and fall of her breath. What the fuck just happened. WHY ISN’T BICEP MASTER A DUDE??? Why are they a cute girl? Why did I flirt with them? I stare into my barren coffee table while all of the last few minutes rush through me and what I should do next. I can’t really go back to sleep as I’m not tired, my computer is in my room which is now occupied by a guest. Looking forward in the now darkened living room I see the television my mom bought for me when I first moved in and a classic nintendo 64 that I’ve had hidden since I was eight. That’s when I see the gold cartridge point from the top of the oddly shaped console and decide with furious anger and a need for gothic horror that I’m going to replay Majora’s Mask, and that’s what I’m going to do. Gonna go save the land of Termina from the fucking MOON.

“Good morning,” The blonde is standing over me. There is a tad bit of morning light peeking out from the clear sliding door that leads to the backyard, filling her hair with this strange ethereal look that quickly gets replaced with my irritation at being woken up on my day off. All of last night comes rushing to me as I’m filled with the shame that I was only able to get to the 3rd dungeon but thankfully got the gilded sword in my playthrough. The blonde is still standing over me, I don’t know what to do. I throw out a confused look. “Again, good morning. Thanks for letting me crash, want me to make some breakfast?” she says.

I sit up from the couch and stare up at her which, given how short she is, feels slightly strange, “Uh sure, the pots and stuff are in the oven and there’s some eggs and bacon in the fridge. Can you get it started for me?”

I wipe away the eye boogers and tiredness from my eyes. I don’t even know what time I slept last night, maybe 4 a.m.? I don’t even know what time it is right now, don’t even know where my phone is. My hands dart in between the couch cushions frantically looking for my phone, in a familiar yet always uncomfortable desperation.

“What the fuck is a sword doing in a fridge?” While my face is firmly planted against my couch and my hand is still moving to and fro I hear that, and am at a complete loss for words. I detach myself from the trap of my old couch to turn around to see her holding my sword by the hilt.

“Oh that. It’s my sword, yeah you can just put it back or whatever.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I sometimes do some training with a sword, it's not a big deal.”

“Yeah but what’s it doing in the fridge?”

“Safekeeping? I didn’t want it somewhere in the house where I’d forget it so I thought where else to put it but somewhere I go everyday, plus I thought it’d be cool.”

“Oh god, why’d I travel ACROSS THE FUCKING country to stay at some weirdo’s place.” her open hand went to her forehead in some vain attempt to keep herself steady in the unknown maelstrom that was probably her life.

“You’re the weirdo that constantly posted those sweet biceps. And also constantly posted about so much other random shit.”

“Yeah no, I just did that to relieve some fuckin stress, do you know how hard it is to be in college, maintain this body and work.”

“Yes. Look, do you just want me to make breakfast?”

“Fuck it, sure.”

I stand up, go up to Kat, take her by her heavenly muscled shoulders and guide her to the small dining table before pulling out a chair and getting her to sit. Grabbing the sword from her hand as we go.“We’re going to eat bacon and scrambled eggs. You can tell me why you’re stressed or not, you do you.”

I placed the sword back into the fridge, and grabbed some eggs, bacon, parmesan, and cilantro. My cast iron skillet made a small pang as I placed it onto the stovetop, threw the bacon on and cooked it nice and soft. I’m not a fan of burned bacon and like to actually have some meat that I can savor, I hope she does too. After the bacon was done I cracked the eggs into a bowl, whisked them for a good minute or two and tossed them into the still hot bacon grease adding cilantro and cheese as I pleased and at the end of a too quick five or so minutes of cooking, breakfast was done and served.

I placed a plate filled with cheesy scrambled eggs and at least two strips of bacon in front of Kat, who had taken on this uncanny glass eyed look, one that made me feel self conscious and awkward. I sat down in one of the few chairs at the table and began to eat. In between bites I asked to break the tension, “So what made you come out here?”

“Do I have to talk about it?” she said, her glassy eyes staring daggers into the soon to be cold eggs.

“It can help. It’s what my therapist told me, it’s usually a good thing to talk about your problems.” she turned to me while I was eating a piece of untoasted bread. I gave her the warmest smile I could muster, she sighed.

“I. I go to college in North Carolina and my parents and whole family really, is from Utah-”

“You guys are mormons?” I interrupted her and she winced at the mention of the denomination.

“Yes, though I guess I am not really one anymore. They wanted me to come back home and go to a local christian college or something and I was enjoying the sports program I was in as well as the freedom.”

“Did you go overboard?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it’s supposed to mean.” she winced again.

“No, I saw what other athletes and people were doing around me and I just. I got a taste of freedom and I knew what it really meant, so I didn’t want it to slip away.”

“So why’re you here?”

“My parents were paying for the college, but a few weeks before finals they said they were going to stop paying for everything unless I came back home and did exactly what they wanted. I guess they thought I was going overboard in spite of what I was telling and showing them. I was spiraling and was trying to get help from anyone or anywhere, that’s when the post went up and all of these people who I was used to showering me with compliments, started fucking shitting on me. Haha ugh, those dicks. Don’t know what else I expected but whatever. Thankfully some of my friends got me into contact with a few higher ups and I was able to secure some scholarships for next semester.”

“But why’re you here?”

“I had nothing after the semester was over. Grades were good, grants and scholarships for next semester were secure but that was three months away and I had no place to stay over there or in Utah.”

“Fuck your parents.” I say, a tad bit of venom in my voice.

“You buy this house all by yourself?” she bites back.

“N- no?” I say surprised.

“Then don’t be so hasty to judge, anywho. I can’t tell you Arthur, I just saw an address, California and thought it’d be nice to go to the beach and maybe meet someone cute.” she says, still staring a hole into the eggs, albeit with the slightest smile on her face.

“Well we’ve got both of the things you’re looking for nearby.”

“And what would that be?”

“There’s a few lakes that are nice to camp at and swim in with the heat, and also there’s me.”

“What makes you think I think you’re cute?”

“The way you’re smiling at me and the way you could’ve just left in the morning without waking me up. Hurry up and eat breakfast, it’s starting to go cold.” The bacon is cooked just the way I like it and it’s the first thing Katherin goes for when she starts eating.

The drive to Lake Navarro was not quiet. Kat hooked up her newly charged phone to the aux in my car and we listened to some post-rock post-christian mormon screamo. It sounded like Jesus Christ was the lead singer of PANDA, and honestly, it was not that bad. In the car ride over she told me about the band and how she found it cause I was curious how you’d even find something half so niche, It was some local band that made it big in Eastern Europe during the Crimean Conflict, the russian soldiers I guess blasted the fuck out of it to get through what they were doing and afterwards it catapulted them to have measure of success in the west and a lot more over there. She found them during her freshman year during a questionable emo phase that eventually led her to lifting and her sweet biceps. Sound varied between really hard screamo and power ballads reminiscent of older prog rock, basically shit I liked and shit she liked. Kat was good in high school, got good grades, was on the volleyball team in the fall and every other time was in the gym attempting to get shredded. It came as a consequence of being really bored in Utah and not that interested in Jesus or magical underwear. When it came to her choosing college it was between four places, a college up in Chicago, one in Utah, North Carolina and Maine. All had some form of connection to Mormonism except for the Nor Car one but that was fine cause they had some family over there. Her parents were hesitant until they couldn’t stand the thought of their daughter being around a bunch of sinners and heathens without their supervision, they’re the meanest mormons I’ve ever met is how Kat would describe them, she also would get really quietly sad, like she didn’t want to show something. Unfortunately their daughter is no longer under anyone’s supervision and is around me.

The early morning water was fucking freezing. I threw off the pink shirt I had on the day before as I jumped in and after a few seconds of being in, it turned from unbearably cold, to comfortably cool. Not soon after I heard a graceful sploosh and was joined by Kat in the water.

“Holy fuck!” she screamed as the icy water kissed and consumed her. All I could do was laugh at the sight of her shivering, shaking and trying to keep afloat. I already knew after a few seconds she’d be okay but it didn’t stop her from giving me a dirty look.

“Need help?” I still asked, just so she knew that I didn’t want her to drown in this freezing water. “Remember to watchout for the seaweed, and the sturgeons.”

“The what?”

“Nevermind, here there’s this island out here, let’s go to it.”

“Fine!” Kat called out to the morning dawn.

Kat made it to the small island before I did and when I got there she stood on this rock, looking triumphant with the smuggest little smile on her face.

“So we’re here, what now? You gonna murder me?” she asked, her hands on her hips.

“I wouldn’t feed eggs to someone I’m going to kill. There’s a spot on this island I wanted to show you.”

And so she followed me close and as we walked the leaves cracked and crumbled under our bare feet, the sound of the lake shimmered through our ears, birds called and cried out looking for each other. It was the harmony of this small journey we were undertaking, eventually making it to the destination. In the midst of all of the natural noise the one that stood out to me the most was her breath, it was even, concise, a natural thing. I don’t know why it stood out to me so much, maybe it was because the person doing it was beautiful or just because the warmth it provided was the only respite from the cool morning air. Ultimately we got there, to what I brought this girl to, to a bench.

“A bench?”

“I know. I wonder how it got here,” I sat down on it, the cool metal feeling beyond cold against my ass and legs. “Come, sit.” I patted my left hand on the metal to the side of me and without protest, Kat followed.

“So why’re we out here? You just had me swim a good 10 minutes and walk through a small island…for a bench?”

“Well, it’s strange right? There’s this perfect park bench in the middle of an island on a lake. It’s bolted down pretty well too, and not a single bit of nature has gotten to it either. Plus,” I motion to the path in front of us as it illuminates with the slowly rising dawn. “Watch.”

I’ve already seen this an endless number of times so I settle on watching her as the light reflects off a thousand tiny clear rocks. Her eyes widen from awe, she has never seen something like this, at least not in person and not after being wide awake from a cold swim and now sitting next to me. One beam of sunlight hits a rock and reflecting into another and into another and into a rock that reflects a prism of different colors that shine brilliantly in the forest, turning the path to this bench into a rainbow tunnel. I’m not certain why it happens, but I know that every morning at 7:44 a.m. this little island in the middle of Lake Navarro turns into a shining flurry of color and beauty. And for some reason I’m happy that Kat is the first person I’ve been able to share this with.

We end up spending a few hours on the island, lazily floating by as the day begins and the heat rises. Kat wears a two-piece that she bought in Texas on her way over here and I am a mirror of yesterday. It’s funny how much clothing hides because even under what little clothes she was wearing yesterday she looks completely different. Beautiful is the way to describe her, beautiful in an athletic natural way. Every part of her just captures my eyes and staring at her from the beach that I crawled on not a few hours past I just can’t help but get lost in her. Lost in the smell of the early morning dew, lost in the graceful movement of her body as she flows in and out of the water. I hope she doesn’t mind me staring and I don’t think she does cause every time she catches me staring she just smiles, then my smile changes, because she doesn’t know who I am. At least not yet.

It’s around 1 p.m. when we get back, the heat assaults us as we enter back into my small house and out of exhaustion and impatience we collapse on the couch, falling simultaneously and perfectly apart. And we lay there, laziness in the air, waiting for something. My ears ring from how loudly we played Death Grips, she hadn’t heard them and I wanted to show her something local to NorCal that resonated with me. She got drawn to them instantly and even though she didn’t know the lyrics, yelled out as passionately as me.

“Want me to turn on the A/C?” I ask, quiet and craggly. And before I know what’s happening she’s on top of me, her toned arms on the couch cushions above my shoulders where I laid. On instinct I slip under her and turn to look down at her, she’s on her knees on the couch. I should have kissed her, why am I standing up, I can still kiss her if I want to, she’s looking right at me, her eyes are wanting me, her arms are open, she wants me she wants me she wants me she wants me.

My right hand goes to the nape of her neck, feeling as natural as a glove and instantly her hand gently finds mine, before she looks up at me, with those same lilac blues eyes, with the same want that I have, Katherin kisses me and the rest of the day melts the same way I do.