Caesaria found me after dinner sitting by the lake. The water was tempting, but after my morning, I was hesitant to enjoy it.

“Can I ask you something?” She sat down next to me in the grass.

“Go for it.”

“What happened before you left Gwyniar?”

I leaned back on my elbows and sighed. “I thought I told you. Darius told me he loved me and I didn’t say it back in that moment.”

“Because it was too soon?”

“Because he wasn’t in the right state of mind. Hell, if it had been Raydir, I would’ve responded in the same way.”

“So you do love Darius?”

“Yes.” I nodded, replying without hesitation.“Gwyniar gave me a lot of time to think. And I do care about him a lot. I mean, we have this heat, this passion…but then there is a voice in my head that asks if you can really maintain a relationship on just…”

“Just what?”

“Sex. Just sex.”

Caesaria smirked. “Wow. Okay, well when you think about Darius, what do you see?”

“I see someone who is stubborn and gets under my skin but still makes my legs turn to jello when we kiss. And I hate that my mind is making me second guess these things, but—”

Caesaria raised her eyebrows.

“—we’ve only been together for two weeks. Maybe subconsciously I do believe we’re moving pretty fast. But he makes my heart race in ways that Raydir never did, and when I think about us spending our lives together it makes me giddy.”

“So then what’s the issue?”

I sighed. “I’m a little scared. Because Ray is all I’ve ever known, I’m worried I won’t be enough for Darius.”

Cae rested her hand on my shoulder and opened her mouth to respond. Heavy footsteps sounded behind us and Raydir appeared in the clearing.

“Good, you’re both here.” He nodded in our direction.

I chewed on my bottom lip. “What is it?”

“Meeting at the Grand Cabin in ten minutes,” he announced. “We released Darius from medical care—he’s had a breakthrough and insisted on working through what you learned in Gwyniar.”

I frowned. “I thought you said you were keeping everyone for twenty-four hour observation?”

Raydir ran a hand through his hair. “I am. We are. But Darius has responded more to the antiviral than anyone else so far. He’s on doctor’s orders to tell us if anything feels off, but by the looks of it, he’s made a full recovery very quickly.”

“Arwyn.” Caesaria grabbed my arm, pulling me back. She nodded to Raydir to go inside.

“What?”

“You don’t have to do it—this meeting. Bennett and Rosie have agreed to tone down the title they want to give you and will await your acceptance, but if you still need time, you can have it.”

I shook my head. “I’ll be fine. Becoming a trainer is a bit much for me, but I still have something I can bring to the table.”

She squeezed my arm. “Then let’s use that to your advantage.”

Inside, we were greeted with the rest of the Council members gathered around the long table. My gaze landed immediately on Darius whose face brightened when he saw me.

I strode over to his side and he wrapped me into his arms.

“You’re safe,” I mumbled into his chest.

He stroked my hair. “And I’m back with you which is all I’ve been thinking about since this whole thing started.” He tilted my chin up and locked his lips on mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body against his.

Please never leave me again.

I promise.

I deepened the kiss, my mind muddling and body quivering under the feel of his hands. He could do whatever he wanted and my body would obey his every command. He released a low growl of approval until someone cleared their throat.

“Shall we start the meeting?” Bennett asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah, sorry,” I replied sheepishly. Darius and I took our seats, and he kept a hand on my thigh the whole time.

“Caesaria relayed to us that you don’t feel ready to take a position as a full trainer yet, is that correct?”

I nodded. “Yes, I’m not quite ready to be a full trainer yet. But I’m happy to take on another role if needed. Give me a map and I can point out the best vantage points and ways to counter any attack.”

Bennett gave an approving nod. “A weapons liaison. Someone who can help us develop our battle plans and chart courses of action.”

“Arwyn, you have a keen eye and talent for precision,” Raydir said. “You always have. And you know the ins and out of these woods really well.”

“I can vouch for you as well,” Fletcher commented.

“So, do you accept?” Bennett asked.

“I…” I looked around the room at all of the expectant faces looking back at me. I still wasn’t entirely sure.

But the faces around me looked up with encouragement. Somewhere deep inside, I knew I could do this.

“Yes, I accept. Thank you.”

Rosie nodded in my direction. “Welcome to the Council, Arwyn.”

“Now, what is our plan for the dukedoms?” Bennett asked, folding his hands in front of him. “Our sources say that tensions between Gwyniar and Alvenora have only strengthened since your father was voted out.”

“Yeah, because the one time the dukedoms agree with each other, my father can’t do anything about it. And neither can Duke Alexander,” I said.

“Show me the map.”

Raydir spread several sheets of faded paper across the table.

I pointed. “We need to set up watch points around the border. This way we have a chance to catch anyone from the dukedoms who tries to infiltrate the valley. Our focus needs to be on protecting the valley. Let the dukedoms hash it out with each other. We have nothing to do with that leadership anymore. All we know is that Gwyniar is our enemy, and Darqua is our home.”

Darius squeezed my shoulders. You make a great leader.

I sent a smile in his direction, but didn’t let my focus waver. “We need to prepare the valley for the worst. Right now there is no active threat, although Bennett, you’re the border expert here.”

He nodded. “We have teams switch out on border patrol. We’ll keep you updated.”

“Great. Then I can start figuring out our best vantage points. The higher we go, the better. We’ll start—”

Tomorrow, Darius spoke in my mind. He let out a low growl that sent heatwaves through my body.

“—Tomorrow.”

We agreed on that, and Rosie called the meeting to end.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“God, you are perfect,” Darius murmured the moment we were alone in the privacy of his cabin. His hands snaked around my waist, pulling me taut against his body.

I laughed. “I love you.”

He paused with his lips hovering by my earlobe. “You do?”

“Yes.” I ran my fingers through his hair and he unclasped my top. “And I want to apologize.”

“For what?” He kissed my collarbone, trailing down my neck, nestling into the sweet spot on my shoulder blades.

“For leaving. For not saying ‘I love you’ back when you said it to me. For waiting so long before I let myself want you.” I tugged his shirt off over his head. “And I don’t just mean waiting for the Blood Moon.”

“Arwyn.” A kiss to my jaw. “You have nothing to apologize for. I picked a crappy time to tell you how I felt. I understand the hesitation. But I’m glad to hear you say it back.”

I nodded. “It had nothing to do with you. I just…I wasn’t sure you were…lucid enough that you knew what you were saying and that you’d remember it.” We continued to leave a trail of our clothes into the bedroom. “I wanted to make sure the first time was special and that we both meant it and that it wasn’t just a ruse to get me to”

“To stop talking? Nah, I have other ways of doing that.” He grinned, pressing his fingers to my lips while leaning me back on the bed. “It wasn’t the right time for me to say it.”

“But I’m glad you did.” I flipped us so that I was on top, pinning his arms above his head.

Darius smirked. “Feisty tonight, aren’t we?”

I tugged at his lips with my teeth. “I’m just glad to be back in your arms tonight. And when you said I was a good leader, you just didn’t happen to mention how I conquer you in the sheets.” I brushed my fingers against the rough stubble along his jawline, releasing his hands.

He grabbed my hips, flipping us once again to take control. “That’s your line, really?”

I laughed. “Just kiss me, idiot.”

Our tongues fought for control almost as much as our bodies did and somehow we ended up dangerously close to falling off of the bed.

“I missed you. I love you. I love you so much it hurts.”

“I missed you too.” He lowered himself on top of me, grinding slowly against me.

I let out a soft whimper, arching my back as I moved up to meet him. My fingers curled around his hair as our bodies moved in a rhythm together while my other hand traced along his back. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked as he continued to kiss my body, his tongue dancing along my stomach over my belly button.

“For waiting for me.” I sat up and pulled the blanket. “I left you hanging for so long, and I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Arwyn.” He brushed my hair away from my face. “You took the time you needed for you. You did what you needed for you. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

I smiled. “Thank you for accepting me.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sleeping naked next to Darius felt different that night. While his touch was warm and comforting, the guilt of the last few days caught up to me in a way that made my thoughts travel to anything but him. He must have sensed my anxiety because he began to rub circles on my bare stomach with his thumbs.

Oh how I loved the feel of his hands on my body.

I turned over and poked his chest. “Darius.” He grunted but didn’t move. “Are you awake?” Nothing, except for a light snore. I rolled onto my back and sighed. The moons shone way too brightly through the windows of the cabin. Man, I really wish we had better curtains here. Maybe I could talk to Rosie about it. But then again, would that mean I was living with Darius? Wow, that is moving way too fast. I mean, we had already said ‘I love you’, so what did ‘too fast’ really mean?

Darius stroked my cheek with his finger, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Hey.” His voice came out deep and husky from sleep. “You ok?”

God, why did he have to be this sexy? “Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep.”

He propped himself up on one elbow. “What were you thinking about?”

“Stuff.”

“Stuff? What sort of stuff?”

“Stuff stuff.”

Darius laughed. “You’re cute, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” I pulled the blanket up a little higher. “I hope I didn’t wake you. The moons are too bright tonight and you need new curtains.”

“Redecorating for me already?” he teased, his blue eyes sparkling. “You didn’t wake me. I can sense your thoughts so I knew you were having trouble sleeping.”

I poked his stomach playfully. “Then I did wake you! Ugh, I’m so sorry, I just can’t turn off my brain.”

“Tell me what’s going on.” He pulled me closer, wrapping my arms around me and rubbing circles on my back.

I sighed. “My trip to Gwyniar has thrown everything off, and I can’t help but think that with this newfound information something bad is going to happen. Maybe I jumped too quick to take the council position—”

He shut me up with a kiss, so I practically melted into his body. “Breathe, Arwyn. We’ll get through this. Bennett and Rosie have prepared for an attack for a long time. They’ll know what to do if it happens.”

Sitting up, the blanket fell back down to the bed as I hugged my knees to my chest. “I’m worried. I’m worried about the rogue situation, about never seeing my family again…” I decided to leave out what I now knew about the rogue since it was still rocky at best.

Darius stroked my hair as I tunneled into his chest. “Arwyn, it’s understandable. You’re under a lot of pressure and stress right now. And with the Council…you know, maybe it wasn’t the best time to throw something new at you.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m glad you did. I’m happy to be part of the Council, but it’s going to take me some time to get used to this.”

He tilted my chin up and kissed my lips. “Used to this?”

I pushed my hand against his chest and laughed. “Go back to sleep.” We slid back down beneath the covers, and I turned away from him with his body pressed against my back. His fingers continued to trace patterns over my skin.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Jab! Uppercut! Sweep!” Fletcher instructed as I deflected each of his movements. It had been a week, and my training hadn’t slowed down one bit.

“Umph,” I grunted, narrowly avoiding a blow to my ribs. My leg landed a roundhouse kick, connecting with his shoulder.

Fletcher let out a growl, his eyes flashing in approval.

I relaxed for a moment, but he took that advantage to flip me, locking an arm over my chest. I struggled beneath him.

“Fletcher,” I growled.

“You let down your guard,” he said. “This is what happens.”

I narrowed my eyes and grit my teeth.

“Call your power,” he instructed.

“Too…far…away…” I managed to get out. I writhed under him.

“Do it! Don’t think I don’t know how you still think about Raydir even though you’re with Darius now. Funny how the tables have—”

My blood boiled with fury and I thrust my hands forward, a harsh stream of water emanating from the ground aimed directly to Fletcher.

The blow surprised him and he dropped his arm to cover his face. I rolled to the side and on top of him.

“Who told you that?” I spat.

He coughed. “I know that was really forward of me. But I needed something to rile you up and Cae said the guys are an emotional point for you.”

I released my arm but kept a steady glare on him. “You had no right to bring my personal life into my training. Especially with a lie like that.”

“But,” Fletcher said, running a hand through his now-wet hair and grinning, “you have to admit you did a damn good job. That’s the kind of energy, the kind of power you need to have in battle. Control your emotions, don’t let them control you. Use that to your advantage to fuel the fight.”

My nostrils flared but I didn’t disagree. I wiped my hands on my pants and set up for our next round.

“How’s it going out here?”

Caesaria’s voice had me sending a slap behind me in her direction. She quickly deflected it.

“Woah.” She held up her hands in surrender. “What’s gotten into you, Arwyn? What’s going on?”

“You told Fletcher that I still think about Ray even though I’m with Darius,” I growled at her. “I told you I was scared, not that I was still in love with my ex!”

“Arwyn, slow down! All I told Fletcher was that you have a good relationship with both Darius and Raydir and that sometimes it can tug at your heartstrings.”

“You had no right!” I retorted. “That is my private life and I shared those details with you in confidence.”

“Fletch, do you think you can give us a minute?” she asked.

He nodded. I didn’t miss the way he delicately brushed his fingers over her hand as he walked away.

“Ar.” She rested a hand on my arm while I seethed. “I’m so sorry. You’re right—this wasn’t my place.”

I ran a hand down my face and sighed. “I trusted you with that information. Do you know how hard it is to love someone and still be scared you’ll never be enough? I panicked last night over whether things are moving too fast with us. Do you know how guilty that makes me feel?” I looked at my hands with disgust. “There has to be a better way to do this. There has to be a different way to tap into my power without exposing all my secrets.”

“This can’t be easy on you,” Caesaria said, guilt evident in her voice. “And I never meant to hurt you.”

We sat in silence until I coughed a few minutes later. Caesaria shifted uncomfortably in the grass next to me.

“So you and Fletcher, huh,” I mused quietly. “How long has that been going on?”

Caesaria picked at the grass beneath us. “Quite some time actually. I think we started dating just before you and Raydir arrived.”

I glanced at her. “So things are getting pretty serious?”

She blushed. “Things are great. He’s a gentleman and treats me right.” She fiddled with her praesidium crystal on its chain around her neck. “The way he holds me…I just love the feel of his arms around me. He’s really romantic.”

“That’s good. I’m glad. Things…you deserve to be happy, Cae.”

“Thanks, Ar. And for the record, you deserve to be happy to. No matter which guy you end up choosing.”

I gave her a small smile. “Thanks.”

She stood up and brushed off her pants. “Do you want me to tell Fletcher to come back for the rest of the lesson?”

I shook my head. “Nah, I think I’m gonna go for a swim and practice on my own for a bit. But before you go, can I ask you one more thing?”

“Sure.”

“You came out here to the valley alone, but I assume Fletcher didn’t. Right?”

Caesaria stiffened. “That’s correct. She…she left him. A couple of months after they got here, she got fed up with the valley and left. We don’t really know what happened or where she went, but there is a very real possibility that she went rogue.”

I blew out a puff of air. “That’s terrible. And he’s…okay?”

She shrugged. “He’s making it through. We’ve both been through a lot, and that might be why we work so well together. We fill a void in the other.” She wiped at tears that had begun to brim in her eyes. “I’ll let you go to the lake and tell Fletcher that you’ll resume tomorrow.”

“See you later.” I walked away in the direction of the lake.

Once there, I slipped into the water, letting it ease over my shoulders and wash away the pain from my training session.

Okay, let’s see what type of damage I can do here.

I focused all of my energy on the water in front of me. It slowly bent to my hand and traveled up to float in the air. Frowning, I urged the water to morph.

Five runes appeared in front of my eyes. My name: Arwyn.

ᚨᚱᚹᛁᚾ

My eyes widened as the water splashed back down into the lake.

What the…

The corners of my mouth twitched up into a smile. I tried again, this time going for a more complicated approach.

ᛞᚨᚱᛁᚢᛊ ᛟᚱ ᚱᚨᛁᛞᛁᚱ

Darius or Raydir. Was that really the question anymore? Apparently my subconscious still believed so.

I dipped my head below the water for clarity before climbing out and starting toward the cabin.

When I arrived, the door was part way open and someone was shuffling through something on the ground. I stopped with one foot inside.

Paper, weathered and discolored, littered the floor. The couch cushions were turned over and thrown across the room. Everything had been practically destroyed.

“What the hell…?” I whispered. My gaze locked on Caesaria who was across the room, her blue eyes filled with anger and hurt.

“You…how could you do this?!” Caesaria yelled at me. “The research. All of Jasper’s research is gone. Destroyed.” She threw a tattered leather book at me. “This is all that’s left.”