It was easy enough to ignore the beeps and buzzing coming from the comms at my wrist. I simply reached up, turned them off, and replaced my hand on top of Aria’s before giving her a lazy, sleep-laden kiss on the forehead, then resettled my nose into the hair at the top of her head.

The relentless and consistent knocking on her door, however, was not nearly as easy to ignore. Her hand on my chest grabbed on to the fabric of my undershirt harder as the knocking grew louder and more insistent. After murmuring a string of colorful expletives into her hair and placing another kiss on her forehead, I dragged myself away from her warmth and clumsily made my way to the door.

With a few more choice swears as I stumbled into the table and then proceeded to struggle with the door’s keypad, I was finally face to face with the person who was ruining my peaceful, long awaited morning with Aria.

After my eyes adjusted to the near blinding light of the hallway, I was met by the all-too familiar scowl of Bones. I should’ve just stayed in bed. Bones would’ve given up — eventually. Or, he would’ve found a way to get the damn door down with that fiery glower. But there was no sense in wondering what could’ve been. I was here now, facing the wrath of Bones and all his agitated, and no doubt disappointed, glory.

“Dammit Jim, they’re getting ready to page you from the bridge. I tried buzzing your comms about a dozen damn times in an effort to avoid anyone else finding out where you were, but you turned your damn comms off. I know you didn’t want me pounding on the damn door either, but you’re needed, and they’re about ready to send out a damn search party to — “

I reached out and placed a firm hand on his shoulder before saying in a sleep-laden voice, “Tell the bridge I’ll be there in a few minutes. Tell them I overslept and turned my comms off."

“Jim I —”

“I know, Bones. I know. Just trust me that I know. I’ll be on the bridge in a few minutes, okay?”

With a deeper furrowing of his brows, Bones swallowed whatever words were about to come out of his mouth before turning to head back towards the bridge, muttering something not-so quietly under his breath as he shook his head.

“You’re the best, Bones, don’t forget it.”

He waved me off before rounding the corner and disappearing out of sight. I’d have to make a better effort to smooth things over with him when I wasn’t standing in my underwear and thoroughly agitated about all things related to my title and role on this damn ship that seemed to get smaller by the day.

The door slid shut quietly as I stepped back into the soft, dimly lit glow of Aria’s tiny quarters. I was ashamed that I couldn’t have found her something better aboard the ship — especially with the absurd amount of space I had in my own luxurious quarters. If I could have it my way, she would’ve just stayed with me. Before I could fall into the fresh annoyance the thought had resurfaced within me, I sighed deeply and turned around to face Aria.

To my disappointment, she wasn’t lying down in bed like I had left her just minutes ago. Instead, she was sitting on the edge of the mattress, her chin resting on one of her hands with her own defeated expression spread across her features.

As my eyes met hers, a smirk that was at odds with her downhearted face tugged on the corner of her lip as she quipped, “Funny how you being the captain of the ship and all seems to somehow keep creeping up on us. Truly shocking.”

I ran a hand through my hair with a scoff before putting myself in motion to grab my clothes from the chair at the table.

“Thank whatever gods actually exist that tomorrow is our day off. I’m just glad I managed to spare Bones the full extent of my complete and utter frustration with the confines of this ship in never-ending space.”

A soft chuckle came from Aria as I finished tugging on my shirt and started to slip my feet into my boots. Our eyes locked as I stood, fully dressed but still very disheveled. I hadn’t thought this far ahead. All I knew was that when she asked me to stay last night, I wanted to. So I did.

All I wanted was to keep laying with her, sleeping in until whenever we decided to get up. I wanted to eat breakfast with her, keep talking about everything and anything. I wanted to feel her next to me again, close enough to hear her breathe, feel her heat. I wanted to close that distance, feel her pressed against me…

But the bridge. Duty. Responsibility. Obligation. Before I could figure out what to say, she stood from the bed and took a few steps towards me. She fidgeted with her arms, not quite sure where to put them. After tucking an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear, she folded them across her chest and kept her gaze cast down towards the floor as she spoke.

“I’m sorry for asking you to stay. I didn’t even think about what it would mean for —”

Before she could finish her sentence, my impulsive nature surged and I closed the distance between us in a second. I pulled her into me, wrapping my arms around her as I gave her the kiss I’d been thinking about nonstop over the past weeks. After a few seconds of what I was sure was shock, I felt her hands run roughly through my hair before resting at the back of my neck so she could bring me closer to her and deepen the kiss further.

Right now, there was nothing but her. My hands roamed down from the sides of her waist over the curves of her backside, causing a groan to escape from her lips that had me losing myself to her completely. I gave her a rough squeeze before moving my hands to the bare skin of her thighs and lifting her up onto the small table.

Books and papers fell to the floor as I pushed her backwards, her hands moving away from my hair to run down and over the muscle of my chest. I was losing it. Every last ounce of control I had exercised for weeks and weeks and weeks. I wanted her. Every part of her. But right now, on this damn table with no damn time, was not the right place.

From some force deep within myself that I had no idea I possessed, I managed to pull myself away from her lips and rest my forehead against hers. Her hands found neutral ground at the back of my neck again as we both tried to come back down from the cliff we’d just nearly toppled over.

I kept my hands on her thighs, gently caressing the soft skin there while trying to get my breathing even. With a few more calming seconds, I finally found the words I’d wanted to speak as soon as she’d tried to apologize for how this morning had gone. I opened my eyes to find her already looking up at me, the hues of swirling gold mesmerizing me like they always did.

As my own breathing returned to normal, I took in her still-parted lips and breathing that was still a little quick, and I finally managed to speak.

“You never have to apologize, Aria. It was my choice, and I chose you. Never be sorry, not for me.”

With that, I reached down and kissed her again, with a little too much intensity and for a little too long. And as I pulled away this time, hauling her up with me, she looked up at me with a small smirk and said, “No apologies, huh?”

“There are most definitely repercussions for abusing my generous offer.”

I quickly made a halfhearted effort to smooth over my wrinkled uniform, and ran my hands through my hair a few times to try and look somewhat presentable for when I finally made my appearance on the bridge. She reached up to help me pat and smooth over the last few creases on my shirt, and even buttoned my collar together with a gentle touch. I took a deep breath in and out before taking her face in my hands one last time.

“I want to see you later. I can page you over comms when I’m back in my quarters. If you’re free, would you come?”

She chuckled and raised her eyebrows, her face becoming the epitome of skepticism.

“You avoid me for weeks, and now you want to see me twice in less than 24 hours? Seems too good to be true, but I’ll come if I can.”

As I leaned in to kiss her again before I left for the bridge, I paused right before her lips and said, “I was prepared to pull the ‘official check-in’ or ‘mandatory personal training’ card, but now I can keep that in my back pocket for later use.”

I was able to get in a quick peck on her lips and dodge the playful punch she swung at my arm as I made my way to the door in one big step.

Just before I hit enter on the keypad, I looked over at her in all of her just woken up glory, consisting of her short shorts and oversized sleep shirt, and gave her a wink along with a “Cadet,” by way of goodbye.

She shook her head with a tight grin and responded with “Captain,” before making an incredibly vulgar gesture that had me laughing as I opened the door and headed down the bright hall.

Sure I didn’t want to head to the bridge. Sure I still had an immense amount of regret about the past few weeks. Sure I was unshowered and unshaven and unprepared for a long, arduous day of work.

But I felt … good. And that was more important than any of the other shit, no matter just how much shit it all piled up to be.