I don’t think I can admit it to myself…

****

It’s like a crisis. All these troublesome thoughts flooding in to my head of their own accord; I want peace. I want nothingness.

Why do I have anything to do with you?

I’m still searching for hope that I can win…against everything.

I’ll win against the Hyouga tribe, against Nada…against you- stupid existence.

I’m searching for a reason of my stupid existence.

Yet, I’m starting to believe that by using what little strength I have, I might find that maybe there is no point for existence – for life- in the very beginning. We all hope and try so hard to find that reason for life. For birth and for death, always believing it’s up to us and us alone. We find places for ourselves in people.

The reasons for existence may be fragile, naïve or imprecise, yet we still long and hold on tight.

I want it too. As long as I survive, as long as I endure it I want a reason for life. I want to find that place in someone, someday.

****

I don’t think I can admit it to myself…

I can no longer survive in reality. The joke of the world…toying with spirits, with hearts before crushing them.

Pure happiness...that’s love too, right? But then…so is stupidity.

Perhaps…perhaps experience is a reason for life? Perhaps it’s experience of pain, of being crushed into the soil…because, only after that, will something bloom.

Only after experience will there be a reason for existence.

Yes…at least, that’s a reason for now.

****

Hiruko chatted at the gate to the bored man standing guard. As soon as the little cat walked to him, his face lit up with joy as though he had been saved from something terrible.

Thinking things over in my mind had made me feel much better. Just recently, I had locked away those feelings, as though I would drown.

It felt as though I was drowning in a sense of hatred and weakness. If I wasn’t there, would anyone really mind?

Was I just a burden?

And then I realised that the whole stupid world rested on my shoulders and that the reason I had been sulking was all due to the fact that I wanted to live.

So...deep. You can get really deep, you know?

What? You mean like poetic? I raised my eyebrows.

He he..... Aaron the poet.

Don’t get any ideas. If that were to be the case, we would have to include you in that embarrassing title, no doubt?

I’ll pass, thanks. I could hear the sigh in Senshi’s voice. This was how he entertained himself when we weren’t training?

Thought so.

I smiled faintly, and looked over at the birth of a new day, the sun’s light slowly filtering through the Complex. Here it looked so beautiful, the warmth in the sky seemed genuine when before, it was as though the World of Shadows had no light at all.

But it had changed now. Nada, Hiruko, Senshi, Keira – all of them, their presence had slowly changed me. Yes…the World of Shadows- that name proves that the world is not wrapped in light. Through the forming darkness of battle and hatred, I was beginning to see the tiniest of flames eating away at the world of dark. Because, even though the world is darkness, eventually you’ll meet the person that will save you from the shadows and return you into the light of the flame. The fact that the flame that burnt inside Nada was yet to be extinguished, that was proof that everything was…alright.

****

Hiruko spent the next minutes speaking to the guard about plans and the current issues and things that had happened while he had been away. I hadn’t slept in quite a while, and with all these confusing thoughts appearing every-so often in my mind, I struggled to keep my fluttering eyelids open. Because of this, most of the passing women took my acts to be flirting and occasionally threatened me with their Katana or shopping bags. Every time a woman stepped closer, Senshi would mutter about my so-called ugliness and I would step back from the clutches of sleep to retort, the women then smiling with their non-existent victory.

I was glad that none of this was witnessed by Nada.

Eventually, Hiruko nodded towards Keira who over cheerfully slapped me hard on the back. Instantly a rise of pain boiled up back and I was quite sure that her hand would be imprinted into my flesh. However, as Senshi volunteered to slice my clothes from behind to check for me, I cursed what I had said five seconds ago. That idiot Senshi! I paused and said, you’re far too enthusiastic, Senshi.

Hmm…? Enthusiastic, you say? He gave a slight snicker. Beats being mad.

You could be both. I walked closer to Hiruko who looked up and dipped his head backwards so I wouldn’t walk through. He needed to talk to me.

I followed the creature as he wove his way around the corner of the gate besides the guard he had been talking to and continued strolling ahead into a small sanctuary of flowers.

On the right hand side sat a concrete bench in front of a veil of vines decorated in oriental lanterns and multi-coloured flowers. Towards the end of the small shelter was a miniature fountain that spurt out water through a fish’s mouth. I walked over to it and peered into the large bowl which I now noticed disappeared through the wall behind the statue fish. Through the water mist appearing, small Koi fish danced in the water, flipping under the ornate decorations that had been placed in the stream.

“Where is this…?” I said dizzyingly, my head still caught in the beauty of the place.

Hiruko, of course, broke that beauty by saying, “It is my office.” I paused and rose up, peeking through yet another veil of vines and flowers that sat further to the end of the trail. Behind that was a beautifully ornamented gate that led into an old-fashioned study that fitted Hiruko’s personality perfectly.

Ah..the fish! Of course! Senshi said suddenly.

“You’re office..? You’re office?! You made all of this,” my hand moved up and down the pathway, “to lead to your stupid office!?”

“Stupid?” Hiruko’s tone was unimpressed yet clearly sarcastic. “This section of the Complex is highly important. In fact, I was the first who found this place.”

“Important..? How so? How did you find it?”

“Well, you see, I found this place before I did Keira. I was finding my way around the Complex perfectly until I was ushered away, dismissed and eventually swept up into the dark avenue of excitement, adventure and pure happiness, taking me a few hours to find my way out.” He closed his eyes proudly.

I sighed. “So…you got lost?”

Hiruko opened his eyes and scrunched up his nose. “Yes, indeed. At least the person our lives depend on can make sense of my ‘another way to say I got lost’ gibberish. Congratulations.” He walked off; turning to make sure I was following as he walked through the vines to the gate. I smiled at him and nodded, quickly walking to catch up to him. Hiruko yowled at the door, which instantly sprang open in reply, and casually stepped over the threshold. I began to run into the room as I realised the gate was now closing, making it through before it slammed steadily behind me. Hiruko, of course, took little notice.

“I found this place when I got lost,” he almost whispered the word, denying the fact that he had had no sense of direction, “and almost as soon as I had stepped through the bracken and vines that blocked this place (being a cat has its advantages) I was surrounded by two men who looked stricken and ill, both of which were painting. I paused before them and they asked me numerous questions about myself and my doing here, I answering that I had stumbled across this place as I was exploring.”

I smirked. “You lied to them?!”

He nodded and smiled. “Yet I was young and foolish and-”

“And still doing it now!” I finished his sentence for him, laughing slowly at his irritated look.

“Anyway, I

closely acquainted to them and after months of coming from my new friend Keira’s house to them they told me that they would like to leave. I did not know what they meant and asked if they could leave at anytime, with no as their reply. They were bound there because they were able to prophesise the future, and they had been painting their dreams for a very long time.” Hiruko paused and looked up at the ceiling of the roof.

“They begged me to release them of their suffering, to release them from their pain and I agreed, of course, asking what I could do to help them. They said to open the bracken passageway and I did so. They smiled at me and said that they would never forget how I helped them. I was quite puzzled, as I thought we would remain friends, but as they stepped out of the passageway the sun ate them up and they disappeared without a trace. I closed the passageway after that, until after the battle and all that time had passed before I asked if I could build my office there. Of course, when the paintings were found, they were sent to the Governance who was immediately alarmed of how those two men had ever been locked up. The paintings were sent to what is known as the Prophecy Room and my mind was sent wandering to how much the Governance knew about the creation of the Complex, for he seemed greatly concerned about the two men, which we call the ‘Two Prophecies’. That is why this place is so important.”

He bent his head as though examining the claw marks that were carved into the wooden floor and raised it slowly, so I didn’t notice him. However, out of the corner of my eye, I could see the concerned look on his face. I swung my head around and stared at him. “What..?”

He made his one-sided smile, cocking his head to left and raising his eyebrows in a sly manner.

“Difficulties of the heart, eh?” I stared at him. Wrong, I thought, wrong- no, it was a much deeper place. I needed to protect everyone and this upcoming battle could cause me to lose everyone. That was what I had been telling myself, but what I was most afraid of was losing everything and being alone.

That is what I feared most.

“Let me tell you a little something. That girl- Nada – is the other half of the prophecy. She is the darkness and you are light...” He paused, frowning at my moonlight coloured hair, but continued anyway, “Ying and yang. But there is a reason she is the darkness. Did it ever seem strange to you that this girl appeared through a gate made of nothingness to you, having learnt battle skills in a matter of months?! She’s stuck between worlds, Aaron. She’s human, yes, but neither living or dead- she’s a Wandering Soul, as she told you, but she seems to be extraordinary. I don’t believe she realises it. And I have only just figured it out- she’s very much alive. Remember last night, when you urged me to transform, but I said I needed to confirm something? I have just realised that Vice is the name of the man who took her and is the name of the man who will attack, and he needs you both.” Hiruko’s look was stern.

“Why? Have you even told her about this?”

“She had an idea of the prophecy, otherwise she wouldn’t have come with us. We’ll wait until we reach the Prophecy Room to tell her that she’s a part of it.”

Hiruko’s face remained set, all except for his eyes which began to wander around the room as if looking for a way to escape. He suddenly looked towards me and opened his mouth to speak.

“They say honour is almost like godliness, as is admitting weakness. However if there’s any indication, there’s certainly no correlation with Vice. That is, he does not strive to obtain the good qualities of people, but instead knocks down any who is in his way. He wants power and control and devastation and, of course, there are two paths for the prophecy to follow. One is for you to fight out against him and bring peace and such and the other is to go against each other, the most powerful of you two gaining whatever they desire as well as second-in-command when Vice literally ‘rules the world’.” Hiruko stopped and looked up to me as though waiting for me to reply.

“How…do you know all of this…?”

Hiruko turned to me again, smiling with the memories of his past before saying, “When I was still part of the Hyouga tribe, those three were considered my friends. They would always sit outside of the hut I lay in, as of course I could not join into play, and would talk about things, asking me questions or playing games that I could watch. There was one that they were particularly fond of, which was about what they would do if they could rule the world.” He paused once again, his eyes glistening with the memory, “Vice wasn’t bad. Yet, while saying that, I will say that very little of him was good. He wasn’t a trouble child but he did tend to get his way because he was so very good at convincing people, with words as well as force. But there were several times when he would talk to me about myself and everything I would face. For a while I believed that I was one of their group until that happened.” Hiruko crunched his jaw together and sat back on his haunches.

“It was right before when I was abandoned in the woods and the necromancer had left the village, the medicine-man dying slowly and I was left alone in that hut. Vice came to me and asked me to join them. I asked what they saw in the future and they all answered ‘power’. And so, I declined them and Vice simply smiled at me and dipped his head. A week after that I was dead to the Hyouga tribe and exploring the World of Shadows and the Complex.” Hiruko didn’t expect me to reply and so continued.

“Do not give in to them. You do not know what they want from you, you do not understand how much power they want and yet they will offer you what you most desire. That’s the reason he brought Nada here in the first place. She is much more powerful because she is still alive, and he could offer her life once again, as long as he gets what he wants.” Hiruko stepped closer and closer as he spoke and I stepped further and further back as he advanced. “He may say he will kill us, but don’t give in to him, don’t give them the power they want.” Hiruko was struggling to make his point and I could see he wanted to provoke it much more.

To relieve him, I answered, “I understand,” and his face softened slightly. He sat there for a while, the sun sifting through the trees that lay outside his window.

“No matter how dark the night is, how horrible it seems what you must always remember Aaron is that morning and light will always come. No matter how long the night lasts, there will be light. Just remember this because the nights that morning never comes don’t exist.”