Natasha finally sees with her eyes. The darkness which veiled her sight a few moments before disappears and the light of Adara burns her retinas. She closes her eyes and takes a step backwards, pain shooting through her skull. She holds her head with her right hand and the features of her face show the man that she is in pain. He takes a step forward and opens his mouth, but his words don't reach Kitta's ears. Her ears work again, as do all her senses—

— but the trauma she has just experienced is too recent.

Natasha finally opens an eye and looks in front of her. Her irises are already getting used to the light and she finally notices who is in front of her.

Milo.

Her Master, Milo Sorrow.

Milo: "————"

He speaks, but she cannot hear him. She is no longer deaf, but her brain still cannot pick up the surrounding sounds. Natasha looks at her Master's beautiful face, now with both eyes. She doesn't cry, but she doesn't smile. Milo can see that she is not feeling well, but he does not know why.

Milo: "———sha, are you okay?! Natasha!!!"

Finally, she hears his words. She reacts and opens her eyes wide.

Natasha: "Aa-Aa... I... A—"

She can't express herself clearly, her body is shaking and her throat is frozen. She looks again at her Master and sees how much he shows her concern. She closes her mouth and takes a deep breath: she must calm down quickly. If she worries about him too much, she will have to explain herself and she does not want to lie to him. She breathes slowly and long, each important breath. When she is calm, she opens her eyes and her Master shines in her eyes. He is still so beautiful and charming... She smiles at him.

Natasha: "Forgive me, I've... This is a new place, I've..."

Milo: "No need to explain, I can understand. Are you sure you're better, though?"

She nods and takes his hand, smiling.

Natasha: "Will you show me the castle, Master?"

His smile is graceful, which reassures Milo. He accepts her request and begins to climb the steps to the outside staircase, her new handmaid in her hands. Natasha remains silent, with each step a new thought in her head.

I will think of it when I will be in my room… she thinks. She looks at her left arm, the one that was not holding her Master's comforting hand, and bites her lower lip: she is still shaking.

The tour of the castle goes on as always, but Natasha hasn't managed to talk much. She is not surprised by anything anymore, but seeing the whole place makes her happy. The walls are still in place, the castle is not a ruin and the dead do not stink around her. The chandeliers still in their places, the fresco that still rules the beautiful ceiling of the entrance hall, the paintings showing their beauty and the treasures still in their respective cabinets. The castle of Ambleurs is still as magnificent, resplendent and well maintained.

But Natasha has no surprises when she visits it. None at all.

She knows where X or Y is. She knows the details about this or that. She can already tell in advance which room she will visit and she knows the way by heart. Milo's remarks don't change much and basically, nothing changes. It's still the same castle, with the same people in it. It's still intact, so she feels good.

Everything had been destroyed because SHE had decided to tell Jiax.

Milo is enjoying showing his new handmaid around his house, a big smile on his face the whole time. For him, it's the first time Natasha has visited the place and the first time he's shown it to her. Milo can't know the secret his handmaid is hiding and even if she wanted to tell him, she couldn't.

Because her last "life" proved to her that this should remain a secret forever.

After this long visit which seemed interminable for Natasha, Milo goes into her room with her to discuss a little. It's always the same thing, the same words, the same questions, the same revelations. She tells him she doesn't know much about him and lets him talk about his dream over and over again. About his Recommendation. About his life.

Over and over again, Natasha has to hear the same things. Nothing changes.

Then her Master leaves her room, promising to call her for supper. She waves her hand and smiles, but she doesn't really want to smile, for the moment. She lies down in the bed and doesn't even bother to grab a pillow... She closes her eyes and sighs heavily.

Why do I have such power...? she wonders. Natasha never asked for such a capacity. She has to relive the same days over and over again and if she doesn't manage to find a solution to all this, she will never be able to move forward. She will be stuck forever on May 21 and will have to live the same days over and over again. Hearing the same sentences, the same words. Retracing her own steps and doing the same tasks over and over again.

Again and again and again and again.

She holds her head and makes a grimace: she is in pain. Memories come back to her and she remembers perfectly the physique of the man who had arrived from the heavens…

A Cursed One.

A winged man.

It's not... possible... she thinks. The Angels were all killed 1210 years ago... They can't still be alive... And yet, the man she had been watching is winged. Long and large wings on his back and not false ones at all. Moreover, if he is a Cursed…

It's called "Cursed of the ANGELS," after all... Natasha doesn't know what to think. Can she ask about him without attracting him, or will he "hear" her again and kill everyone on his arrival? Does she really want to take such a risk? Most likely, the others are not going to have any useful information to give her about him, so maybe it's better not to say anything.

He said I was a Time Bearer... What does that mean, exactly? She has never heard such a term before. Nevertheless, she sees some connection: her new power plays on time, as she goes back in time when she dies. In short, she is certain that this Cursed man was talking about her.

And he wanted to steal my power... Because... I don't know... I don't know...! Natasha can theorize all she wants: apart from asking him directly, she will never get a convincing answer. However—

I don't want to see him anymore... Just catching a glimpse of his physique in her mind gives her unbearable chills. She can't deny it: she is afraid of him. Even though she doesn't know him, knows almost nothing about him and hasn't seen much of him, she is already traumatized by this man. He had killed everyone, Jiax had been eradicated trying to attack him and he had tried to steal her power... She doesn't understand how it was possible, but the fact that he could have done such a thing made her understand another one :

Her power can be stolen.

She can't admit it to ANYONE, even if that winged man didn't land on them. As much as she hates this new ability, she can't give it to anyone. Not yet. She must save her Master and the other members of the faction first…

But... Will I make it...? Natasha is not sure. In her other "lives", there had been no real progress towards defeating the slayer. She doesn't know anything about her, not even her name, not even her purpose. She said she had come for Master Milo, but that is something she had guessed before. She hadn't even seen her Tempus and she doesn't even know how she got into the castle.

If there is a traitor among the members of Master Milo's faction, how am I even going to find out...? she thinks. Natasha has no idea how to proceed. She can't admit her power to anyone, under threat of calling the winged man again. She managed to die BEFORE he stole her power, though she doesn't know how... Would he have talked too much and therefore missed his chance? She shakes her head, her eyes still closed: she doesn't want to think about him anymore. She understands now that she can't talk about her power to anyone, but she doesn't need to remember his face or his words. Thinking about it makes her tremble like a little leaf, all fragile.

I have to think about how to defeat the slayer first… thinks Natasha. In her old "life" she managed to talk to Oshio about the entrances and exits of the castle, but nothing that can give her a real lead. If she really wants to find out where she came from, she would have to ask Master Milo directly about all the hidden entrances, but that would be too suspicious... She can't afford that. Besides, if only Master Milo knows the entrances, then how would the woman know? That means she's entering from a place that is known to others... She turns to the left and finally opens her eyes.

I... Natasha doesn't even think about the end of her sentence. She looks sadly at her bed and sighs softly. Her eyes show how bad she feels, and even though she is no longer shaking, her heart beats with fear in her chest. She has no leads, she knows nothing about the killer except the approximate time of her arrival and her looks.

And still, who does not say that she is already in the castle, but hides? thinks Natasha. It is unlikely, but not impossible. After all, she appeared in Master Milo's room without warning, coming from nowhere. It's not impossible that she's hiding under his bed right now…

No, if that's the case, she'd kill him already tonight! thinks Natasha. Her Kitta ears droop and she clutches the blanket, squinting sadly. The more Natasha thinks about this, the more she understands the reality before her.

She has no way to save her Master.

Chapter 8: — I give up

Natasha goes down for supper: her Master has just called her. She slowly descends the stairs, a sad look still on her face. She has only been looking for solutions, understanding how to defeat the slayer and in what way. Who to warn, what to talk about, what to do;

But nothing. Nothing can work.

She doesn't have enough information and the only "solutions" that come to her force her to either appear very suspicious and therefore a traitor, or have to die again and again to learn more. She wants neither. Her heart can't take the few deaths she's been through well enough, so if she has to outright sacrifice herself every time to have an ounce of luck in the future... It's a solution that doesn't convince her: she'll lose her mind before she can even help her Master. She sighs in front of the kitchen door and smiles; a forced smile. She wants to do anything but smile, right now... but she has to look cheerful and presentable in front of the members of the faction. In front of her Master whom she loves so much. She opens the door and greets everyone before taking her seat. She already knows what they are going to eat, she already knows what they are going to talk about among themselves and she already knows what will be the surprise of the cook named Sulman. Nothing is going to surprise her, but she's going to have to pretend she doesn't know. She doesn't want to act this way, but does she have a choice? Can she afford to show her eyes that deep down she is bored? That she doesn't want to relive that day again? How to explain to them without attracting the winged man...? She doesn't want to test, because next time, she surely won't have the luxury of surviving against him. She swallows loudly and takes a calm breath.

Don't think about it, silly... she tells herself. Even if the meal she is offered is the same as the last few times, and the dessert will be nothing new, she likes the food presented and she must enjoy it. If she comes to die again and again, then she will be disgusted and she will not be able to enjoy it anymore... She must avoid such a future.

But how…?

She takes a bite and tries not to show her real feelings. She doesn't want to relive the same days, but she doesn't see any other solution, at the moment... If she wants to defeat this lady one day, if it's even possible, she's already going to have to learn how she gets into this castle…

... Why... Natasha wants to cry. She can't think of anything else and a ball forms little by little in her throat. She eats calmly and begins to discuss with Oshio, the man next to her, to change her mind. She has to think of something else and clear her mind, because otherwise—

As expected, Sulman prepared a big cake for her arrival. It is still beautiful and so good. Natasha is afraid that the taste is now repetitive, but luckily, she still loves it. She enjoys every bite, an urge to let her tears flow every time she swallows. She loves this cake so much, she is so happy to be welcomed like this…

But she doesn't want to go through that again…

It's such a special moment for her... It's a moment so warm, with everyone congratulating her, smiling, laughing and chatting... It's so festive and friendly, so…

If she has to go through this again and again, she won't be able to consider it "special" anymore.

She finishes her piece of cake with a big smile, but behind it lies a great sadness.

Aaah, whatever…

Her Master and the others all get up and Natasha tells them she's going to stay here a while before going upstairs.

Milo: "Okay! Good night in advance!"

Natasha: "You too, Master. Sweet dreams."

Milo: "I'll go dream about cats, I promise!"

He starts to laugh and closes the door behind him. She stops smiling and sighs heavily before letting her head hit the table.

... I don't see any solution in front of me, so whatever—

Natasha: "— I give up."

She thinks out loud and closes her eyes. Tonight she will not be able to do anything, to get any information or look for any leads. Tomorrow, she will have to work and even during her breaks, she will not be able to advance in her investigation. Then, in the evening, she will not be able to do anything. The next day, May 21, she will only be able to warn her Master and hope that he can defeat this killer... but if that doesn't work, then she will have to start over.

Repeat.

REPEAT.

RE—

????: "Natasha?"

She opens her eyes and lifts her head to look at the man who has just come out of the kitchen.

Sulman: "Are you still here?"

Natasha had forgotten that Sulman only went up after the others. She gives him a long look before nodding.

Natasha: "I... need to digest."

This was not entirely untrue, as she had taken a little more cake than usual. Her tummy doesn't necessarily hurt, but she's already feeling better. Plus, with her brain full of information and theories, including her heart deciding to give up, she's starting to feel... weird. Going to sleep with so much in your head is impossible. Sulman sits on the chair in front of her and looks her straight in the eyes, which surprises her.

Sulman: "Natasha, are you okay?"

A question that catches her off guard. She blinks and scratches her cheek.

Natasha: "I... I have to digest, but..."

Sulman: "No, I'm talking in there."

He taps his head and the handmaid is speechless. What should she answer...? She can't talk about the problems she has with him... with anyone else, really. She has to keep it all to herself... It's a secret she can never share with anyone, never admit out loud. Everything she knows..

Sulman: "If you want to talk about it..."

Natasha: "No, I'm... I'm fine, thank you."

The cook squints his eyes and lays his head on his fist. He is still staring at her and she is reluctant to leave... She does not want to be suspected of hiding things. To them, she has just arrived in the castle and she is a new member of the faction who knows almost nothing and nobody. They don't know how much she knows, although deep down she still doesn't know… much. Sulman taps the table.

Sulman: "I believe you, but I would still like to tell you something, if I may."

He speaks in a very polite manner, but this does not surprise Natasha too much. When she was still with Master Samus, the cooks were always expected to speak politely to anyone, even the servants.

Sulman: "I've been working for Milo for a few years now and at first I have to admit I was uncomfortable. He seems so nice, so friendly and so..."

He taps his head, searching for the right words.

Sulman: "He looks so PERFECT that he seems to be FALSE, sometimes."

He shouts out the terms, not afraid that he might be heard from outside or from upstairs. Natasha questions him with her eyes, not quite understanding what he means. He smiles.

Sulman: "You haven't spent much time with him, but the longer you are around him, the more you will understand what I mean."

In reality, Natasha has spent far more time than he realizes, but she can't tell him that.

Sulman: "He seems so much like a perfect person, flawless except maybe his energy that tires, that he seems to have a false personality."

Natasha: "A false personality..."

She began to understand what he meant, but she didn't know if she would agree. To her, Master Samus was the definition of a perfect person. Yes, he could be self- centered, but he was always so... human. He respected others and was so beautifully sympathetic... She still can't see him as anything but a perfect human, in her eyes. She doesn't know Master Milo as well as Master Samus, but she knows that from what she's seen, Master Milo is also a perfect person. The cook nods.

Sulman: "I'm not going to lie to you: at first, I thought he was lying about himself. That he was actually a bad person who manipulates others with his kindness."

Natasha is certain that this is not the case, as she has spent a lot of time with him. If he had wanted to do that, he probably wouldn't have refused to do anything during the bath. He would not protect her during the fight with the slayer. He would not stay by her side when she passed out... He—

Sulman: "I realized I was wrong."

Natasha tilts her head to the right, her Kitta ears pointing to the ceiling. Her cat tail doesn't wag either. The cook smiles.

Sulman: "Milo is really a perfect man."

Natasha: "..."

Sulman: "When I realized that, I started to work even more seriously. Not because it's my job, but because I want to please him. I support him in everything he does and even his dream, I support it."

Natasha: "His... dream..."

That of being the future King of Izarel. She can't forget it, because Natasha, too, supports him in this dream… She, too, wants to see him on the throne. She too…

Sulman: "I told myself...I wanted a future where he is the King."

She, too, wants such a future.

Sulman: "I know you're new here, but everyone here is great. Everyone has their qualities, everyone has their faults. But one thing you can be sure of, dear Natasha..."

She listens to his words carefully, her ears devouring them, making sure she never forgets them. In his eyes she finds the light she had lost during that day. In her eyes—

Sulman: "You can be sure that we will listen to you and respect you."

— shine again a feeling of HOPE.

She couldn't explain it herself, but Sulman's words comforted her. She who already wanted to give up the idea of saving Master Milo and just accept her fate, she remembers something. Words that her Master told her himself, even before she entered the castle. Why had she forgotten all this...? Why had she decided to give up like that?

Sulman: "So if you are in pain, don't hesitate to talk about it. Even to me, the little cook that I am."

She has no leads on the slayer, she doesn't know if she has help and how she avoids Jiax. She doesn't know her Tempus, or anything about her.

She can't talk about her power or the winged man will come back. She can have it stolen if anyone understands her new ability and she still doesn't know why she has something like this.

She is a new handmaid who can only think and can't even help in battle, can't do anything but accept to be defeated and die. She is just a Kitta who wants to cry as soon as things go wrong.

But she is the handmaid of Master Milo, the future King of Izarel.

Because she remembers his words perfectly and she should never have forgotten them. She who wanted to give up because she thinks that she can't find solutions and that she will have to die hundreds, thousands of times to defeat this killer... She forgot the most important thing. That is—

— "Just trust me, okay?"

She smiles.

Yes, she had forgotten this very important thing—

— She must trust her Master.

She had never lost her trust in Master Samus, so why should she do so for Master Milo? Surely SHE, Natasha, could do nothing against the slayer. Perhaps no one in this castle could, but she must trust him. He is strong, powerful, resistant: Natasha knows this without even having seen him fight hard. It's because he had to protect her from the slayer that he couldn't defeat her, but if he hadn't, he would have been able to fight her off. Maybe even kill her.

Natasha has to believe it, because she trusts him.

Natasha lifts her head and stares into Sulman's eyes.

Natasha: "Thank you, Sulman."

A sincere thank you, because it opened her eyes. Perhaps she would have understood this on her own or from someone else, but surely far too late. She smiles broadly.

Natasha: "Because—"

Natasha: "— I give up giving up."

It may not mean anything, but to her it means everything. She stands up and respectfully stoops before the cook who didn't understand her words. He scratches his hair and says a simple "You're welcome, I guess." She turns on her heels and leaves the kitchen. She arrives at the front of the stairs with a smile.

She had descended them without hope; now she climbs them with hope.

She will not give up. She can't give up: because without her, Master Milo will be killed in his sleep and he will never be able to be future King of Izarel. She has to warn him somehow and find a way to stop this slayer…

And she must trust her Master to defeat her.

Without it, they won't win; but neither will she. She never wanted this ability, this atrocious power, but she is beginning to understand something. She may hate it and not want to use it…

It can save the lives of others.

Not just from Master Milo, but from other members of the Faction. Other friends she might make one day. This will be her secret indefinitely, but it doesn't matter: because she can make herself USEFUL to her Master. To others.

She may be weak, but with such power in her hands, she can become Master Milo's wild card.

She arrives at the top of the stairs and heads for her room. Her smile is beautiful and finally her eyes are lit up like before. Thanks to the discussion she had with Sulman, she understands how useful she can be to others. She clenches a fist before entering her room.

This power she never wanted…

She will use it to make Master Milo the future King of

Izarel!

But first…

Natasha lies down in her bed after undressing and looks

at the ceiling. Before closing her eyes, she thinks about

what she will have to do and say tomorrow.

Master Milo, Harry, Oshio, Jiax and Sulman…

These are the five present in the faction. Miranda and Chris are not here for the next few days, so she does not count them.

Master Milo is going to be the main element in the fight against the slayer.

However, she can't forget the others. Harry, Master Milo’s trainer.

Oshio, the servant of Master Milo.

Jiax, the bodyguard of Master Milo.

Sulman, the cook of Master Milo.

Even if the latter is probably not going to be used during the fight and neither is Oshio, she understands one thing well: they are all linked to Master Milo.

She closed her eyes and before falling into a deep sleep and flying off to dreamland, she thinks. Again and again.

Because she doesn't want to die anymore, because she doesn't give up.

She thinks about how they will defeat the killer and finally move on.