《Vacation on the Placeholder》Go and Go

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Getting out of bed is a fight like always; faint light is intruding the room through my crappy blinds, and for a half-second I think I'm late for school and get slightly desperate, only to realize we're free for the entire week. The sound of the regular Samsung ringtone became nothing but ambient sound for while now. I only recollect myself when I actually look at my cellphone. Lucky me that she is so insistent sometimes, frankly. I'm such a mess every morning. "Hey Matt, took you long enough..." "Vera, you woke me up..." - it feels strange that I just dreamed with her...and I'm weirdly already anticipating the subject of this conversation; I'll pretend I don't know, though - "...what's up? Don't you have better things to do on the holidays? Look at the time...." "Don't be like that, c'mon...let us cheer up, it's been tough..." - the awkwardness in her voice suggests she's a little out of it, after all - "Let's not be stuck around this town for once, okay? I discovered a trip you'll definitely like!"

I hardly remember all details about my dream just now, but I do have the impression it was something overwhelmingly bizarre, and that had something to do with Vera. Must be some sleep-deprivation bullshit I'd rather not think about.

"What do you mean? I'm too tired for this, so you'll enjoy yourself alone this year; good luck, though." "What do YOU mean, Matt? Do you really mean to tell me you'll enjoy this year's rest days here when I am giving you a chance to avoid such a painful issue you're facing?" Ouch, right where it hurts. Sucks that this is the only way Vera knows to express genuine care, but it is what it is. Here I thought she'd be overly considerate. But our class is full of people who have known each other for far too long, which is a little inconvenient for weirdos like me.

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I don't know if this form of expression is even healthy, and I'm doubtful this way of dealing with things is any good too. But she knows me.

I'll go and try to clear my mind a little.

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