《Monstrous Apartments: short stories》Appropriate Headwear - Gorgon
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Hearing knocking at my bedroom door at this hour was unusual.
I lay still on my bed with my book in hand as I decided if I wanted to answer. The hero was moments away from facing his deadliest foe, and it had been a four-year wait before the author had released her newest installment. Got to love dashing pirate fox men, and their crazy shark girl sidekicks.
Still, only one person would knock, and it would be rude to ignore her. Besides, if she was coming to me for help, it would be urgent. Hopefully, the shower head hadn’t broken again.
“Come in!”
My door creaked open, and a familiar face peered around the wood. Then another. Then another. Until a human face joined the writhing mass of smiling snakes. Reptilian pupils stared down at the floor, and I could see a flush on her tanned skin.
“Yes?”
None of my impatience made its way into my voice, as I watched her stare burn a hole into my carpet. I tried to keep my face passive, unsure if she could see through the snakes. Asking about her hair was one of those topics I avoided, an assumed cultural landmine.
Lost in my internal tangent, I almost missed when she mumbled something, and the snake that acted as her fringe gave a gentle hiss in time with her words. Its emerald form swayed, as though buffeted by its own personal breeze. I’d always held a secret desire to pet them, to see if they felt like hair or regular snakes.
They had never shed, or if they did, she had cleaned it up with remarkable speed as I’ve never stumbled upon them.
“Sorry, come again?”
She bit her lip, her hands balled into fists. “You. Um. You make clothes for toys, right?”
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I blinked and looked over at the clutter that filled my desk, all clustered around my most recent commission; a doll’s gown. The layers of frills and lace hung loose on a tiny dressmaker’s dummy. Pride filled me as I studied the careful stitching, allowing wings to poke through the back. That had been the hardest part.
“Sure, it’s how I pay the rent.”
“Do… do you make hats?”
I paused in the face of her blushing visage and tried to remember all my past orders. The most recent had been a sunhat for a minotaur action figure. “Sure? Rarely, but I can find a pattern.” I shrugged as I carefully put my book down to make sure I didn’t lose my page.
My reserved roommate’s sudden interest piqued my curiosity. She hadn’t ever shown an interest in my work before. Even as I sat up, she kept her gaze firmly on the ground. I knew the rumors, of course, but if that was true she’d wear specialty glasses or something, wouldn’t she?
I’d hope so. But if she turned me to stone, where would she store me? The closet? Put me out on the lawn? I hoped it wouldn’t be the latter; I didn’t want birds to poop on me forever. My over-active imagination continued to dream up scenarios, and it took me a moment to realize I had missed what she had said.
“Sorry, can you repeat that?”
“I asked if you could put straps on them?” She reached up and patted one snake that fell past her ear. “They move a lot, you see.”
That’s when it clicked.
“You want hats for your hair? Why? Can’t you just wear a big one?”
She looked scandalized, and I cursed myself. Me and my big mouth.
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“I. Well. I look bad in hats.”
I didn’t believe her. In my experience nobody looked bad in a well-made hat. Store bought basic ones could be tacky, sure. But one designed specifically for the wearer, paired with the right outfit? You could never go wrong.
“But I wanted to give them something. So I thought small hats might be cute? You’re right, its dumb I’m sorry.”
The snake that formed her fringe looked annoyed, and I raised my hand before she fled.
“It’s not dumb. I’m sorry. Yes, I can do it. Did you have a style in mind?”
She grinned and showed off two small fangs. “Top hats?”
I blinked, and I could see it. A mass of those adorable snakes in tiny top hats bouncing in her wake. Would she wear a suit? I’d hope so. Nothing beats a woman in a suit. At least I thought so anyway. Besides, fancy hats with such casual clothes would look strange.
“That’s easy. We need what?” I paused as I did a quick headcount. “Twelve in total?”
“I only have 11.”
I gave her a smile.
“I think you’d look good in a top hat. Trust me, an even number is better than an odd one, right?”
She turned red once more and hid her face in her hands.
My breath hitched in my throat. Was that one too far? Her shoulders weren’t shaking, so I took that as a good sign.
“Yes.” It came out a whisper.
I thought I heard the faintest hint of a giggle, and I rolled with it. “Excellent. I’ll get started, for free, if I can post some photos of the snakes. My clients will love it.” I stretched out a hand, and she shook it.
“Only a few, though.” A few of her snakes reached out, hoping for the honor, perhaps?
“Of course. Two… three at most.” I nodded emphatically. “Maybe one in your bigger one if you like it. I’d never done something people sized before.”
She squeaked and mumbled before she scurried out of the room. I swore one snake that trailed down the back of her neck winked at me.
With a chuckle, I retrieved my book. As I sunk back into the adventures of dashing pirate captains, I stopped to consider how things would change.
I supposed a knock at my door would no longer continue to be unusual.
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