Deception is not the only option

Unveiling the truth requires caution

WHO ARE YOU WHO Are you who are you who are you who are you, who are you?

I am.

No, I’m not.

Who are you?

I’m Niu.

I’ve always lived in a world of sounds while soundless—no, voiceless. And, as the saying goes, a word is worth a hundred sounds. However, a single sound can be worth a hundred words, too.

Regardless of this sophistry, I’ve lived my whole life without my own sounds except for the sounds of my aching heart. Not just its beating, but its whispers as well. It allowed me to live.

Despite my obvious limits, I always thought I could be in control. Unfortunately, I was so very wrong about that. Yes, I’ve had control of many things—people, relations, even countries—but that wasn’t enough. Because there was one thing I couldn’t fully control: myself.

I never really listened to myself, after all. I could hear the sounds of my own heart, but I almost never followed its advice. Arrogantly. Foolishly. Desperately! I was unable to keep my emotions in check in spite of my best efforts, or perhaps because of them? Well, it is too late either way.

Still, I was able to reach this place. With all this pain, with all these sacrifices, with all of my sins and my virtues. With everything I’ve changed about my life and my world. So if at least I—

No.

In the end all of this is my fault. Sure, I wasn’t responsible for everything, and not everything was my own choice… but that’s an excuse. I don't think I’ll ever overcome my guilt and shame. No matter how much I wanted to shout, they wouldn’t listen. They couldn’t hear it. I didn’t listen to myself! So it’s all my fault.

The world is going to end because of me.

However, I somehow feel good. For some reason, I feel bright and warm. I’m happy.

This warmth feels so nostalgic. Is this place always this sunny and bright?