Saturday morning, I woke up and stayed in bed longer than I would typically have, but I was exhausted from working all week at the grocery store. It was the last weekend of July, and I still had to ask for permission from my parents. I heard them shuffling around downstairs, making a breakfast of some kind. Probably plain oatmeal and eggs, and I can already smell the bacon. Turkey bacon. I began the trudge downstairs.

You’re such an idiot, Gordie. What if they say no? What if some sense finally comes back to them, and they freak out about you going to New York City for a weekend with three kids (albeit older kids) that they’ve never met? You already bought your plane ticket, but they could still forbid you. Maybe I could lie? Yeah, that’s it. I could just tell them I’m going to Darren’s for the weekend. Easy as pie, they wouldn’t mind that. Hell, I’ve been doing that every weekend. I don’t even have to say anything about it. I could just treat it as a standard weekend.

“Good mornin’, Gordie,” my mom greeted it as she glanced away from her book.

I joined her at the dining room table while my dad finished putting the food on the table.

“Good morning,” I said.

“Mornin’ Gord,” my dad said.

“Hey, Gordie, we wanted to talk to you about something,” my mom said, shoveling portions onto her plate. “We were thinking about how long it’s been since your dad and I have taken a vacation, you know, like a family vacation.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I can’t remember the last time we went somewhere.”

“Your dad and I both have considerable vacation time to use up. So we were thinking about taking maybe a three or four-day weekend on August 15th to go somewhere on Lake Michigan. Still not sure where yet, but Indiana, Wisconsin, and Michigan have some nice rental properties or hotels you can stay along the lake. We were thinking about making a short trip like that. We’d probably go with aunt Edith and maybe uncle Howard and aunt Jane and your two cousins. How does that sound to you?”

My heart split. My mom had a rare smile on her face; she was making an attempt. She was making an attempt for once, and I was about to throw it back in her face.

“Gord? Y’alright? What do you think?” my dad asked. He, too, was smiling.

I couldn’t form a sentence. The surprise hit me like a dream more than anything else. They never look happy, but here they were, displaying positivity.

“I-I-I uh, New York City.”

There was a pause.

“Oh, Gordie, uh, the idea of going to New York City wasn’t considered, but I guess we can talk about it. We were hoping for somewhere that’s not too crowded. We wanna be able to relax a little bit, you know? I mean, sure, the beaches on Lake Michigan will have people, but not nearly as much as the streets of NYC,” my mom said.

I shook my head, and I lost my voice. “No, can we do a different weekend? Please?”

My mom and dad looked at each other with one eyebrow raised.

“What’s wrong with that weekend? Do you have work or something, Gordie? Maybe you could call it off or find someone to cover your shift? We already worked out the date with the aunts and uncles.”

“I would love to, but I really can’t.” The color drained from my face, and I frowned. “I’m sorry, I was just surprised. I was having a hard time talking because I really want to go, and now I’m really sad because I’m actually going to New York City that weekend.”

My parents looked at each other incredulously and then glared at me.

“I already bought my plane ticket and everything.”

“You bought a plane ticket? What are you talking about? Gordie, you didn’t talk to us about it. How come you didn’t check-in? You still live under our roof and you’re still in high school. Who are you even staying with? This is not okay,” my mom said. Her smile disappeared, and she glanced around like a malfunctioning robot.

“Look, I’m sorry, and it’s going to sound dumb, but I’m going to New York to see the Elite Crushers gaming tournament at Madison Square Garden. Darren, Wyatt, and Amaya will be there, and we’re staying together in a hotel. Amaya is one of the top professionals in the game, so she’s been helping out a lot with the finances to make it all possible.”

My dad shook his head. “So video games and your friends are more important than spending time with your family?”

I shook my head as fast and deliberately. “No, that’s not fair to say at all. None of you told me you were planning this. You should’ve told me well in advance.”

“We just settled on that weekend a few days ago,” my dad said.

“Gordie, I know you love this game so much, but you must realize it’s just a video game. There’s so much else to life; I don’t want you to miss it because of a toy you’ll one day grow out of.”

My heart thudded. I hated confrontation, but a raging fire grew in my chest. “That’s really not fair at all to say. A children’s toy doesn’t sell out Madison Square Garden. A children’s toy doesn’t give the first place winner a million dollars to split among four teammates. Sure, it’s filled with a younger demographic, but it doesn’t mean anything. People in their 30s are playing the game, and they are at these tournaments.”

“Gordie, the odds of you becoming one of those professional players are so slim, you really shouldn’t rely on it. For you, the game is a children’s toy, and your mom and I are both concerned with how much the game occupies your life,” my dad said. There was silence at the table. No one touched their food, but my dad poked his meal around like an irritated twitch. He scowled at me. “I mean, are you really going to go to this gaming palooza in New York City instead of going on a vacation with your family?”

I stared at him for a moment, but before I started talking, I lowered my gaze to my plate. “Yes, I’m going to this tournament, but please don’t take it personally. It’s not like that. It’s—“

“Sorry, Gordie, it’s too late. Of course, we’re going to take it personally. You already made your decision, and you didn’t consult us,” my mom said.

“This really isn’t fair.” I shook my head. “You know, I could have lied to the both of you and said I really had to work that weekend, and I couldn’t call it off, and then I could have said I was going to stay with Darren for the weekend. Like any usual weekend, but you know what? I didn’t. Even if you weren’t planning this vacation, I knew the both of you would have been upset that I spent my money on going to New York instead of ‘saving it for college.’ Let me have some fun for once, Jesus Christ. If you planned a vacation the following weekend, I could do it, so you still have time to make adjustments. This tournament is set in stone, and I have to be there for my friend who has anxiety issues.

“And you know what else?” I said, standing up from my chair and leaving my plate. “Maybe if you were more involved in my life, you would have met my three friends who I’ve spent all my time with. You would know I’m a pretty good player at the game too. I won a local doubles tournament, and I’m in the top 64 players in the world. The entire world has hundreds of thousands that try and play professionally, but I have a rank with some merit. But neither of you know about that because you’ve never care to ask. I’m sorry, I can’t be as bright as a shining star as Michael, but it would still be nice if you acted like you cared about me.”

Tears overcame my eyes, and I couldn’t stand there any longer. My parents stared at me. Both of their eyes became red and misty. I sprinted to my bedroom, grabbed my car keys, and left the house without saying another word.

I drove straight to Darren’s house that day and called him to tell him I was coming over. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be a problem, and it wasn’t. He had to work an afternoon shift at the store, but I could stay at his house when he left. Wyatt came down via train, and I picked him up at the station. I texted my parents, saying:

I’m going to stay over at Darren’s tonight. Sorry for blowing up earlier. I just need some space for a little bit.

My mom replied with just an, “Okay.” I was relieved. I didn’t want to have a serious conversation through text.

Once Darren got off work, the three of us took the train into the city and walked to Amaya’s house, our latest safe haven. All we did was play Elite Crushers through the night, and I filled them in on my argument with my parents.

“I needed a night like tonight, and I’m very fortunate to have the three of you as my friends,” I said.

“I think this calls for a group hug,” Wyatt said just as we turned off the game and got ready to go to bed. Of course, Wyatt was the first to hug me, then Darren and Amaya joined in.

“I can’t wait for the tournament in New York. It’s going to be so awesome to see you both tear it up,” I said.

Returning to my house the following day, my parents sat in the living room. My mom read her book, and my dad was on his phone, glancing at the TV to check the White Sox game.

“Hello, Gordie,” my mom said, still looking down at her book.

“Hey.”

I took my shoes off and started to navigate through the living room to get to the stairs on the other side so I could go to my bedroom, but I felt like I was walking through a minefield. Any moment they would stop me and another difficult conversation would ensue… or at least it should. I slowly walked up to the base of the stairs, and still not a word had been—

“Gord, can we talk to you for a minute?” my dad asked, muting the White Sox game.

I sighed. “Okay. Sure.” I turned around to face them.

“Your mom and I did a lot of talking, and we’re sorry about how our behavior has been the past couple of years. I understand it must be very difficult for you, but we haven’t been the same people. We are having challenges trying to overcome this depression. If you’ve ever heard that the most painful emotional experience you can have is losing a child, it’s definitely true. I guess what I’m trying to say is, and what we are trying to say, we understand we need to be there for you more. We need to have more of a presence in your life. As well as be more supportive.”

“You could start by meeting my friends and let me go to New York and support that decision. I’ve always wanted to go there, and we never have. Don’t give me wrong, I’d love to spend more family time with the both of you, so just let me know when the three of us could do something special and we’ll make it happen.”

My parents gazed at each other, took a deep breath, and smiled. They seemed prepared for something worse. “That sounds good to us, Gordie,” my mom said.

I smiled back at them and nodded. I walked up the steps to my room to spend the rest of the day playing the specialized version of Elite Crushers with the nearly impossible to beat computers.