We were done. We were finished. I didn’t know where the moderators were taking us, but my mind spiraled with thoughts of getting arrested and going to jail and having to call my parents and break their hearts even more, and then I’d be grounded forever, and I’d probably no longer be able to attend school.

Wyatt jammed his elbow into my ribs. “Ow!” I whispered.

“You fucking idiot, there was no way he could have proved that was our alcohol. You make up a lie in that situation, and you keep deflecting. There’s not a goddamn thing he could’ve done unless he pulled off my pants by force, at which point I would’ve threatened to sue him with you as my witness. C’mon, Gordie, I’m really disappointed in you. Haven’t you ever been in trouble before?” Wyatt’s whispers were filled with rage.

I shook my head. Tears were starting to form in my eyes. The last time I had been in trouble was in elementary school, but it was a case of mistaken identity. Some kid blamed me for going around and stealing an item from every kid’s ‘business’ on market day, but really I didn’t touch a thing. It was the other kid in class who kind of looked like me. So really, I hadn’t done anything wrong. I never really did anything to misbehave. I didn’t have any friends to impress or talk to. Why the hell would I stir up trouble?

The walk felt demeaning, but moderators only escorted us to the convention center’s front doors. I was worried we would be taken to an office where we’d get some severe penalty.

“What are your names? Let me see your tags,” one moderator asked.

“Y-Do-Nut and GordieHoward,” I said. We both flashed our badges hanging around our necks.

“Wow, it’s a shame you’re getting knocked out for something ridiculous,” she said to Wyatt. He didn’t have a response.

“Today is a little bit of a lucky day for you. Since your friend told the truth, we will not ban you from tournament play. Nor are we going to tell anyone you brought alcohol into the building. We’re going to let you off with a warning. Still, we will tell the moderators that you had to leave, so you will forfeit your next match, just remember, if you get caught in the future with this, you get permanently banned from the tournament circuit,” she said.

“Thank you, and we’re really sorry about that,” I said. Wyatt nodded in agreement.

“Were either of you registered for tomorrow’s doubles tournament?” she asked.

“We were going to see how well we did today and then go from there, so we probably would buy last-minute passes.” I shrugged.

“Don’t. Whatever you do, don’t come in tomorrow. Understand?”

Wyatt and I both nodded and turned around. We exited through the glass doors of the convention center and back into the streets of Chicago. I pulled out my phone and gave Darren a call. I told him to pick us up. He was in the middle of eating at a restaurant a few blocks away. He told us he would be there as soon as possible. I looked at Wyatt, and he started to slowly smile. Then he cracked up.

“That was pretty wild, man,” Wyatt said, following up with more laughter and looking back at the convention center.

“Aren’t you the least bit pissed off? Because right now, I’m pretty livid!” I shouted.

Wyatt stared at me, but his expression hadn’t changed. He was happy and hazy. “Naw, I’ve got no reason to be mad. Stuff like this happens, just gotta roll with it.”

“We came here today to launch our careers, we were going to go to Miami, and we would earn some money. And now we can’t because of a dumb mistake. We paid frickin $100 each just to get in the damn place! That doesn’t bother you at all?”

“No, because it was my mom’s money, but I still wouldn’t care that much even if it was mine. We made a mistake, right? Next time the tournament comes around, we’ll be back, and we’ll be better prepared.”

“I didn’t make a mistake. You made a mistake!” I pointed my finger at him. It bothered me even more that he just laughed. “What’s the matter with you? I really don’t get how you’re laughing.”

“Feelin’ pretty buzzed right about now. It’s hard to be mad at anything. I don’t know, man. I guess I just don’t let things like that bother me. So fine, blame me for the mistake, but I’m sorry. I don’t think there’s a point in getting so upset.”

“We were just two rounds away!”

“Chill out, man. You’re sixteen; there’s plenty of time. We’ll be back next year. Come to think of it, I have every right to be upset with you,” Wyatt said, looking at me differently like he had just solved an answer to an equation.

“How? Enlighten me!”

“You missed your match. What if you made it round eight? I should be mad at you. Not to mention, I still think we could’ve gotten away with the whole alcohol thing.”

“I had to go calm Darren down. He sprinted out of the place!”

Wyatt’s eyes grew. “We could be equally mad at him for having a meltdown! Look, I’m trying to see that no one is at fault here. We all screwed up. We will take these mistakes and learn from them for the next tournament!”

I shook my head. There was too much rage boiling inside, I had to step away from him and stare at the buildings in front of us. It felt like we were waiting for hours before Darren finally came, but it had only been thirty minutes.

As soon as I got in the car, I was hit with the pungent smell of eggs and ketchup-laced hashbrowns. After I regained my composure, I said, “Just take me home, Darren.”

“I’m gonna drop off Wyatt first. I figured we could all hang out at his house?” Darren said. He checked on me in the backseat but I was staring out the window like a melancholy dog. “You all right, Gordie?”

“No…” I said, fighting back the tears.

“He’s just pissed how the day got all screwy back there,” Wyatt said.

“What happened?”

“Long story short, I got busted for drinking alcohol.” Wyatt pulled out the leftovers in the car and started eating his meal. I couldn’t believe it, his food had been sitting in the car all day long, and it wasn’t that cold out. I don’t think any food safety folks would have approved.

“Damn, man,” Darren uttered.

“Yeah, I messed up, but so did you, dude, and so did Gordie. I tried telling him not to get upset, that there will be another tournament next year, but he’s pretty beat up about it. We all made mistakes. Let’s all share the blame. One day we’ll look back on this memory and laugh our asses off.” Wyatt chomped away at his meal.

“Yeah, you smell like gin, that’s for sure. Don’t get to beat up about it, Gordie. I had a rough day too, and I’m probably the one who should feel the most embarrassed. I left, causing a scene,” Darren said. “C’mon, let’s just go back to Wyatt’s place and hang out. Play a few rounds of ‘Crushers, maybe? Or not?”

“Just please take me back to my car. I need to be by myself for a while. I’m really sorry,” I muttered.

Darren and Wyatt both gave each other a look of uncertainty, which didn’t help the flow of tears. Weirdly, I felt like I was letting them down. I have every right to be angry at them… right? Nothing was making sense. Meanwhile, thoughts of my brother started to bounce around in my head. Please make this stop. Please make this feeling go away.

When we arrived to Darren’s house, I got out of the car and said, “Thanks for the ride. I’ll talk to you guys later; I’m sorry.”

They both said goodbye, and I went to my car. Darren rolled down his window and called out, “Hey, man, are you gonna be alright?”

“I don’t know, not feeling the greatest right now. Just want to be by myself,” I said, looking down at the ground because I knew my eyes were red from crying.

Wyatt leaned over the seat and said, “You’re not maaad at us... are you?”

The cadence of his voice made me laugh. I shook my head, though, and smiled for the first time in what felt like all day. “No, just want to be alone.”

“We’re here for ya, Gordie,” Darren said.

“Thank you, guys.” I got into my car and drove home.

Even though my parents were in the house, it still felt empty. I walked through the living room where they were watching TV. Neither of them were paying attention. My dad was on his phone, sitting on the couch, and my mom was reading in the chair. Neither of them said a word to me.

I get it. Your child died way earlier than he should’ve. It’s not right. It’s not fair, but I still need you here. You’re both just a shell, and I feel like you might think it’s my fault that it all happened the way it did.

It wasn’t until I walked up the steps to my room that I finally said, “Hi, mom. Hi, dad,”

“Hey, Gordie,” my mom replied.

“Hi, Gord,” my dad said.

Neither of them looked up. I did terrible at the tournament, thanks for asking. I trudged up to my room and plopped down on my bed. All my anger at the world stewed in my head and came to a boil. When it rains, it pours. Let all of the emotional turmoil that I can conceive of gather, explode, and release. It’s not fair. None of this is acceptable. Goddammit, Michael. I hate you so much. I despise you. But wait… I’m so sorry, I don’t mean that. Where are you? Why did you have to leave? What the hell is wrong with me? Why does everyone hate me? How come nobody cares? Why did I abandon my only friends? You can still make it right with them.

I took a deep breath and sighed so loud it almost turned into a scream. I looked at all of the stupid posters in my room of the different characters from Elite Crushers. Soul-Steel and Obsidian-Golem hung above my bed. I put them there long ago to protect me from the evils. What a joke. Who will I ever impress with these stupid, childish posters? I clawed down each one, ripping off the scotch tape from the wall. My vision became tearing, ripping, crumpling, and tossing. What took me hours to set up with Michael when we were kids only took seconds to destroy.