Lexi

It wasn’t until I stepped through the glass doors of my apartment building and into the large, exquisite lobby that I remembered everything from the morning. It stopped me dead in my tracks. Oh, god. Mom and dad are probably waiting upstairs with a bunch of nurses and a straitjacket they’re going to use to cart me off to the nearest insane asylum. I swallowed down the lump in my throat as my anxiety sky-rocketed. I could text Fox. He said if I needed anything to just reach out. I could go hang out wherever he lives until—maybe he’ll let me live with him for a whil--.

A paper ball hit me on the side of the head before I looked over at Peter, the dark-haired security guard staring at me from behind the front lobby counter. “Yo, Lexi. You okay? I swear I had to do a double-take to make sure you weren’t having a psychotic break or something.”

I bent down to pick up the paper ball and threw it in the trash can by the counter. “Yeah. Just some stuff—wait. You thought I snapped and the first thing you decided to do was throw a wad of paper at me?”

The very well-developed guard threw his hands up and shrugged his shoulders. “Look, crazy people come in off of the street all of the time and you never know what someone might be packing. I don’t get paid enough to be shanked in broad daylight.”

He was making a lot of sense until something else occurred to me. “Did you just call me crazy?”

His face was incredulous. “You are a teenager, aren’t you?”

I nodded my head from side to side. That’s fair. “Are you just coming on for the evening shift?”

He sat back in the desk chair and placed his hands behind his head. “Yep. I’ll be watching folks come and go all night.”

My face grimaced at how unbelievably boring that sounded. “Well, I’ll come down a little later and bring you some of the white chocolate and strawberries cake my mom made.”

He propped his feet up on the empty desk chair next to him. “I knew you were going to be one of my favorite residents. What’s the special occasion?”

I heaved out a heavy sigh. “Sixteen years ago, I was birthed.”

Peter jumped up from his chair. “It’s your birthday? Why didn’t you say something? Here,” he said before pulling the thick black flashlight from his belt and handing it to me. “Happy Birthday.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I took the rather heavy source of light. “What in the world am I supposed to do with this? My phone already has a flashlight on it.”

He gave me a mischievous grin. “True, but this is a much better weapon in the dark than your phone.”

Great. I can accidentally bludgeon someone to death the next time I have a freak-out. I rolled my eyes and smiled at him before putting the flashlight in my bag and heading toward the elevators. Riding up to my floor, the stress was just building and building inside of me. It wasn’t that I was scared that mom and dad were going to be mad. I’ve never even been grounded before. More than anything, I was scared they would be waiting for me with the same looks of sadness they got whenever I went over the edge. They always looked so helpless, like they didn’t know how to help their poor crazy daughter. Nothing ever broke me as bad as the time I overheard mom crying in dad’s arms after one of my breakdowns. They didn’t know I could hear them talking about how scared they were for me. My chest still tightened just at the thought.

The elevator doors opened to the light beige hallway decorated with tastefully framed pictures of exotic flowers and sparsely placed console tables across from each apartment door. Every step I made on the checkered floor echoed. There were just a few more doors left till my apartment at the end of the hall. My breaths were coming in hard and fast. Once in front of the cherry wood double doors, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Sailor Moon.

I slowly turned the doorknob and stepped into the brightly lit foyer. My image in the large mirror hanging across from the front door greeted me. Checking my reflection, I made sure I, at least, looked more together than I felt. Right below the mirror was a small table with a vase mom liked to keep fresh flowers in. I took in a much-needed whiff of the lilacs, letting the scent calm me even more.

Stepping into the dining area, I didn’t see my parents, but the slight sound of people talking somewhere perked up my ears. It wasn’t until I heard mom’s boisterous laugh that I realized they were in the living room. I gently placed my messenger bag on the dinner table and slowly walked towards the open space of the family room. Light was pouring into the circular area as mom had pulled the sheer drapes all the way open. She and dad were sitting on one of the white curved sofas while a stranger sat across from them on an identical one.

Dad was the first to notice my approach since mom, ever the engaging host, was caught up in conversation with their guest. “Honey,” my dad said standing up from the sofa. “Come and join us.”

Mom’s head whipped in my direction before she jumped up from the sofa. “Lexi, sweet pea.” As soon as I saw her eyes light up, I felt a lot of the weight on my shoulders lift. She threw her arms around me and squeezed me harder than she knew I liked.

I quickly started patting her shoulder while straining to get a word out. “Mom! Air! Please!”

She rolled her eyes as she conceded to letting go. “Look, little girl, I only have a couple of years of you before you settle on a college and probably move hundreds of miles away from me.” Mom let out a small sob before pulling my head to her chest. “Oh, my baby girl is going to leave me and I’ll be all alone,” she said breathing out a heavy sigh. “Just me in this overpriced apartment and these lonely empty rooms.”

Dad put his coffee mug down and adjusted his glasses as he looked over at me and mom. “Jesus, Gloria? Am I dead in this scenario?”

Mom just waved him off and led me further into the living room towards the stranger who stood up as we got closer. He was average height for a guy. Looking about my parent's age with sandy blonde hair, he wore a typical dress shirt and khakis. A warm smile spread across his face as he reached his hand out towards me. “It’s nice to meet you, Lexi. Your parents have said nothing, but amazing things about you.”

I returned his smile and shook his hand. “Either you’re lying, or my parents were.”

That got him to laugh, but my mom lightly pinched my arm. “Lexi, sweet pea, this is Mr. Doyle.”

Mr. Doyle sat back down on the sofa and gave me a lopsided grin. “You can just call me Christian. My son hasn’t called me ‘dad’ since he read every single thing by Henry Thoreau.”

Mom clapped her hands on my shoulder. “That’s right. Christian’s son, Cameron, is the same age as you, sweet pea,” she said forcing me onto the sofa between her and dad.

I knew mom’s different tones and inflections enough to be able to tell when she was up to something. With a brief glance at my dad, I got my confirmation as he gently rubbed my hand and sighed. Dear, god. What is this woman up to?

Christian caught my attention by placing his mug on the glass coffee table. “Yeah, Cameron will actually be starting at Lux on Monday. He was staying with his mom up in Vancouver, but she passed over the winter.”

Mom made a sharp gasp as her eyes widened. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Christian cleared his throat and gave my mom another warm smile. “Thank you. She had been sick for a while with pancreatic cancer. It was a miracle she held on for as long as she did. I’m sad to say it didn’t affect me nearly as much as it did Cameron. Rebecca and I split before we even knew she was pregnant with Cameron and the revelation didn’t exactly bring us closer. We mostly just tolerated each other over the years.”

Mom leaned forward to pick her mug of tea off of the table. “But Cameron is here now, with you?”

Christian took his glasses off to wipe them clean. “His flight arrives in a couple of hours. He stayed in Vancouver to take care of Rebecca’s parents and help with her things. I told him he could continue school there if he liked. I didn’t want to uproot and change his entire life if it was possible. Grief is a time to hold on to familiarity and things that will comfort you through the acceptance process. But everything just reminds him of his mom. It wouldn’t be so bad if he had any friends, but Cameron has always been rather introverted and would rather spend time drawing, than making friends. I’m just worried he’s going to feel even more alone at a new school.”

Mom was tearing up at this point but was also doing her best to swallow it down. “Well, I’m sure Lexi would love to show Cameron around and help him get used to the new school. Isn’t that right, sweet pea?” She asked bumping me with her shoulder.

Like mom, I found myself feeling a little worked up from Christian’s story. If anything had ever happened to mom, I don’t think I’d be able to deal with it. I’m barely functioning as it is. After stifling a sob, I answered. “Absolutely. I actually met some pretty nice people today who I’m sure would help him feel welcomed. Are you guys in the apartment next to ours? I can come introduce myself to Cameron tomorrow and maybe we can walk to school together on Monday.”

Christian finished swallowing the tea in his mouth before answering. “Actually, Cameron and I live just a few blocks down in the direction of the school.”

I cocked my head to the side and turned to my mother. “So, if we’re not neighbors, how exactly does everyone know each other?”

Dad cleared his throat and crossed his arms as he also looked over at my mom. She fidgeted for a moment and wouldn’t meet either of our gazes. “Well, sweet pea, I happened to call the school earlier to see if you had made it there alright. After they told me you were already in class, I might have also made an inquiry about any recommended child psychiatrists in the area and they happened to mention that Mr. Doyle—I mean, Christian would be working with the school regarding any psychological needs that might arise.” Mom jumped up from the sofa and grabbed the teapot from the center of the coffee table. “Well, would you look at that? The tea has gotten cold. Would anyone like some more tea? I’m going to go make some more tea.” Before anyone could object, she was already halfway through the dining area towards the kitchen.

My face went deadpanned as I watched mom make her get-away. Christian leaned forward to get my attention. “Lexi, I realize this probably wasn’t the most ideal way for you and me to meet. Still, I promise, like your parents, I only want the best for you. And if you’re not comfortable with me, or this arrangement, I can find someone better suited for you. There is no need to rush anything. You can take all the time you need to decide what you want to do.”

Damn, he’s good. I slowly shook my head and managed a small smile. “It’s okay. I knew something like this was eventually going to happen. To be honest, out of all of the psychiatrists I’ve met, you are the first one I’ve ever immediately felt comfortable with. But, isn’t it going to be weird counseling me if your son and I become friends?”

Christian appeared thoughtful for a moment. “Your possible friendship with my son and the work we do to help with whatever you might be dealing with, are two completely separate things. Even if, for instance, Cameron were to come up during a session, I practice discretion and am completely impartial. We can try it out for a while, and if you at any point feel like things are becoming complicated, or uncomfortable, you and I will work together to fix the situation. And if we can’t, then we will find someone for you who can. No fuss. No muss.”

He was clearly very, very good at his job, but, more so, I knew having someone like him around would make mom and dad feel a lot better about me and everything I had going on. Another smile spread across my face, this one truly genuine. “I guess a little Christian counseling couldn’t hurt.” I nudged my dad and wiggled my eyebrows at my pun.

Dad shook his head and patted me on the knee before looking at Christian. “How soon can you start?”

Christian laughed and stood up. “Whenever Lexi is ready. What do you think? Maybe next week? Give you a little time to adjust to your new school?”

I nodded my head before also standing. “That sounds like a great idea. If you give my dad your address, I’ll come by in the morning and introduce myself. I’ll just run and go get mom so she can say goodbye.”

I didn’t wait for a response, but instead, I quickly and calmly walked towards the kitchen. Mom started freaking out the moment I stepped in and cleared my throat. She had her back to me as she flailed around the kitchen island. Her hands flew up, knocking down pots and pans hanging from the ceiling. “Oh, sweet pea.” Her words sounded muffled as she grabbed the cookware falling all around her. She turned to face me before swallowing whatever was in her mouth.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I slowly stepped forward. “What’s going on in here?”

Every time I started to move to her side, she would adjust her stance to block whatever was on the counter behind her. “What do you mean, sweet pea? I’m just making some more tea.”

I looked over at the tea kettle on the stove to my right and saw the burner wasn’t even on. With fast steps, I walked over and grabbed the kettle. “There isn’t even water in this thi--.” Visible by just a few inches from my mom’s side, was my white chocolate and strawberries cake. “Is that my cake?!”

Mom went wide-eyed as she grabbed the cake and moved to the far end of the island. “And? What if it is? We already sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to you.”

My mouth fell open when I saw how much of the cake was gone. “Mom! You've eaten a fourth of the cake!” I grabbed a fork out of the utensil drawer and rushed at the tantalizing pastry.

With surprising speed, mom used her body to cover the cake and block me from getting to it. “Hold on. We should wait for your father. Why don’t you run along and get him while I slice up some pieces?”

She wasn’t going to fool me with that old game. We went back and forth with me trying to lunge at it and mom doing everything she could to protect her precious cake. The screaming and shouting went on until we heard someone whistle at the door to get our attention.

Dad stood at the kitchen entrance; arms folded with an irritated look on his face. “I just wanted to thank you both for the most awkward goodbye I’ve ever had with someone.” He moved towards us before taking the cake out of mom’s hands, the fork from mine, and, without saying another word, walked right out of the kitchen.