《Phenomena the Basic Witch and The Mind Safari》Chapter One: A Performance to Save The World
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It had only been a short time since the Nightmare Calamity descended upon Autolycus, but even the downfall of her whole planet couldn’t prepare Phenomena Willow for what she would hear next.
Students of Nightdream Academy were asked to gather in the Cloud Hall. They pumped their own clouds out of a silver machine and glided upon them like makeshift chairs. It almost seemed like business as usual for Nightdream, but when Mena looked out the enormous window, she realized nothing would ever be the same again. The pink clouds of Dula, a magical realm that once governed the dreams of the grounded world of Autolycus, lingered in the foreground. In the distance, however, was the shadow-black planet of Autolycus, where a serpentine yellow eye pierced its center with malevolence.
Professor Stellaris, the Dream Divination teacher, stood at the forefront of the window, high on a cloud. Alongside her, was her sister, the physical education teacher, Nebula, the Dream Elixirs teacher, Apo Carrie, and the Nightmare Defense teacher, Professor Caligari.
The former headmaster, Gemini, was lost in the Nightmare Void, and Stellaris boldly stepped up as headmaster in absence.
Perched upon a cloud, Mena turned to her friends, May, and Janus, and tilted her head curiously.
“How do you guys feel about Stella taking over as our new temporary headmaster?”
Janus, ever the wry reaper, responded, “Well, she’s the professor least likely to let this school burn down… contrary to her fire powers.”
Stellaris, with her fiery blond pompadour floating in the breeze, put her hands on her toned hips. “Welcome everyone to your new…modified semester at Nightdream Academy. As you know, I am standing in for headmaster Gemini. I hope you enjoyed this winter solstice to the best of your abilities in wake of this tragic loss.”
Mena’s head surveyed the room, making eye contact with Ashlan O’Ryan, her lioness ex roommate who sat with her friends, the always unpleasant Tessellation Twins. Ashlan gave her a kindly smile, but was quickly jostled by the silver haired Laetitia, and she frowned at Mena instead. At least, it resembled a frown, Mena thought it more resembled a “Help I’m trapped in a snob factory,” cry for help.
Mena turned back to Stellaris. The professor paced on her cloud, her cape dangling behind her. “This is a very special semester,” she said. “It is a joint semester shared with…”
Another floating castle appeared at the window. Unlike the always nocturnal Dream Castle, this one was spangled with suns. The pillars that framed the tower were all balanced with large sun-like orbs and the front was emblazoned with a sunburst sporting a feminine visage. There was a crash of thunder and lightning and another imposing woman appeared before them. Standing high on a dark thundercloud was a woman with lighting yellow-blonde hair, a heavily made-up complexion and a domineering full-body pants suit. From her ruby red lips, she smiled and chortled in her deep voice, “How do you like my electrifying entrance?”
Mena recognized her immediately. It was Ms. Electra.
Stellaris gave a kind smile. “We will be sharing this semester with the all-boys Sunbeam Academy.”
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Mena’s heart thundered in her chest, and it wasn’t simply because of Ms. Electra’s striking appearance. She would finally be able to see Prince Tal of the Shadow Nomads again.
He may not have been her first boyfriend, but he was her first kiss, and that filled her mind with romantic thoughts. Plus, she’d like to pretend her relationship with a lying, wooden celebrity puppet didn’t count. Prince Tal was the real deal and she ravished at the opportunity of seeing him again.
“You must be wondering,” Electra’s voice boomed throughout the room. “Why two schools have gathered together in such a tragedy…”
Electra gave a sly, all-knowing smirk. “Well...if you must know, it’s to put on the…”—Electra and Stellaris both looked at each other and said in unison, “The best-ever rendition of Grasspeare’s theater production of Romulus and Julianna.”
Mena’s mouth nearly hit the ground and her eyes nearly popped out of her skull. “What the huh?” she exclaimed…
Her mind was doing somersaults in her head. Sure, a romantic tragedy was well, romantically tragic, but doing one in the middle of a crisis? Had Stellaris flipped her lid?
As if answering Mena’s questions herself, Stellaris said, “You might be wondering, is this some kind of a joke—to perform a play in a time of calamity?”
“And I thought I had a dark sense of humor,” Janus snickered.
Stellaris cast her hand in front of the room. “But you are not mistaken. For we are, and this performance will decide the fate of the whole universe.”
“Ah sacre bleu,” Laetitia said, miming fainting gestures. “Zis hippie as truly gone bananas. She eez loonier than zee clown ever was.”
Stellaris eyes sizzled like they’d ignite and fry the bourgelf to a crisp.
Instead, she took a deep breath. “We are headed to the Mind Jungles of Dula to search for the first sage. They will help us procure the Dream Heels and save the universe from Anguish. But the snooty beasts who live in the Mind Jungles, they are rather laissez-faire and will only allow us to enter… for a spectacular performance of a universally recognized classic.”
Mena let out a sigh of relief. There was truly a method to Stellaris’ madness.
Stellaris looked at Electra and they both nodded. “That is why we are requiring the thespians of both our schools to come together and produce a show stopping performance.”
“No pressure…” Electra quipped.
There was an excited clamor from the girls. Ashlan immediately stood up and held her hands on her hips. With a boastful voice, she said, “Mother always said I was a big thespian.”
“Oi,” the dark-haired Marie said rolling her eyes. “I bet you are…”
Janus held her hand to her mouth and giggled. “I’ve always been one too. When I was small, I loved acting out the works of Ellen Allie Poe. The more tragic, the better.”
Electra chortled. “My boys will outmatch you little girls tenfold. They truly know how to knock em dead.”
“Excuse me,” Janus said, her sweet voice growing charged. “For a matter of fact, that’s my job. Stellaris, we really gotta show em who’s boss.”
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Stellaris defensively puffed out her chest towards the equally towering woman. “We’ll see about that, Maxine. May the best girl win.”
Electra smirked. “May the best MAN win.”
Flames burned in Stellaris’ eyes and electricity crackled in Electra’s eyes as they stared each other down. The elemental intensity was truly overwhelming, but Mena prayed that in the heat of all this passion, they wouldn’t forget the true reason they were there: to save their world.
Electra ceased her staring contest with Stellaris. She lifted her hand to reveal a thunder-powered sundial on her wrist. “Oh, it’s time for my boys to make their grand entrance.”
Ms. Electra’s voice grew stern, and devoid of its boisterous levity. “Ladies feel free to reacquaint yourselves, but not too much. I don’t want you distracting my fine young champions.
“Oh really?” Stellaris asked, her hands on her hips. “You’re bringing these testosterones filled distractions over to my girls. Let’s not talk about who’s distracting who.”
Before Electra could answer, several lads in bright yellow robes appeared at the foot of the tunnel.
Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, several Nightdream students made a beeline for the boys, including the Tessellations. “I wonder if zat delicious double platter of twins is still ere,” Laetitia said hungrily as she and Marie lowered down to the ground.
Sure enough, the pair of blond twins were standing there, both thin faced, but boyishly handsome. They greeted the Tessellations with a winsome pair of hellos.
Almost immediately, Laetitia and Marie bent down and hacked up their breakfast all over the boy’s shoes.
“Seriously,” Mena remarked. “Are they allergic to boys or something?”
May puffed out her round cheeks. “I’m surprised those twins aren’t allergic to them.”
Janus dreamily rested her skull in her hands. “Perhaps they play for a different double team.”
Ashlan’s brother, Leo, who was a hulking seven feet tall beast stood at the forefront.
May waggled her eyebrows. “Wish me luck,” she said
May had finally gotten over her fractured foot and practically bounded over to Leo. Janus frowned. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
“Why?” Mena asked, her eyebrows raised.
“She doesn’t have that male hormone cologne she wore at the homecoming dance. The kind that smelled like raw meat.”
“Hey big boy,” May said, her voice low and sultry.
Leo cocked his head. “Who are you?”
“May Cumberson,” May said with her hands behind her back. “Remember. We danced together at Homecoming.”
“Doesn’t ring a bell,” Leo said coolly.
May grimaced. “I was the one who smelled like raw meat.”
Leo stared at her for a long time before answering. “Ah. I remember the meat. I don’t remember you.”
May sighed and held out her hand. “Nice to ‘meat’ you then.”
Janus and Mena traveled down together. On their way, they passed Billy Bones, the skeleton sporting a fedora. He tipped his hat at Janus who wryly responded, “Come back when you get some more meat on yer bones.”
Billy Bones’ mouth practically dropped off its hinges over being rejected again.
Mena pushed her way through the crowd until she reached Prince Tal, standing in a very unsuitable yellow robe.
Mena’s heart pounded like a timpani drum in band class.
“Goodbye…” she uttered to Tal, before slapping her own face. “I mean, Hello. How’ve you been, Tal?”
Tal merely chucked and nodded his head. His dark locks fell around his face with a perfect disorder to them. “It is nice to see you again too, Mena.”
“How goes your quest to defeat the Phantom Lord?” Mena asked.
“Ah,” Tal said wistfully. “I have not found him yet, but I set aside time everyday to brood darkly in a corner, swearing vengeance on him.”
Mena’s heart entered her mouth. “Hubba hubba. Revenge never looked so cute.”
“How about you, Mena?” Tal asked. “I assume you’ve been getting on well?”
Mena put her hand forward. “Pshaw. Only saving the world. Nothing special.”
Both of Tal’s eyes gleamed, both his chestnut brown and his demon red one. “You know, Mena,” he said. “It wasn’t a lie when your headmaster said this play is a pivotal part of you saving the world. Have you ever studied it?”
Mena nodded. “Yes, I have. It’s a romantic tragedy. My mother had a copy of from her time in Nightdream.”
“Yessss,” Tal practically hissed. “And as you know, my life is a romantic tragedy too.”
Mena’s eyes went wide with curiosity. What are you getting at?”
Tal swooped his yellow robes forward. “I would be the perfect player for the tragic role of Romulus. I could bring a refreshingly dark and edgy take on this classic character.”
Mena blushed and smiled. “Of course, you would.”
Tal immediately seized her hand. “I was thinking,” he said excitedly. “Would you like to be my Juliana?”
Mena’s heart nearly stopped in her chest. She needed to slap herself again to unfreeze her face. “Homina homina homina. Me? Be Juliana?”
“Well, you’d have to try out, of course,” Tal laughed. “But you and me, we already got chemistry. Imagine us as star-crossed lovers…”
Mena was too lost in her dreams to answer.
“Alright,” Electra clapped, and thunder sounded nearby. “Enough distraction for my boys. Play practice starts tomorrow after your regular classes. Anyone who wants can try out, but don’t be surprised when my boys take home all the prize roles....even the women's ones."
Electra flicked her lightning-bolt shaped pony tail and winked. "It is a Grasspeare play after all."
“I must be going now,” Tal said as he backed away from Mena. He extended his hand from his chest and recited in a gallant voice. “But remember, there is no greater tragedy for us, than the tale of Juliana and Romulus.”
The boys exited the room, leaving Mena standing with Janus and the rest of the girls. “Janus…” Mena muttered, her eyes not blinking in sync. “You’ll have to excuse me while I use the bathroom.”
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