Lycita shoved the front door open with a loud creak. Shaynen had his eyes closed tight and felt his way after her. He walked his hands along the doorframe and entered the dark house.

“It’s okay Shaynen, you can open your eyes.” Lycita said. He creaked one eye open first. The room was dark and filled with shadowy shelves.

“Is it like the pantry?” He asked.

“I think so,” Lycita said. Already waving between the shelves. “Looks like a bunch of junk.”

“Don’t go too far! We don’t know what’s behind the doors!” Shaynen whispered and ran after Lycita.

“Don’t be such a ‘fraidy cat.” Lycita scoffed. Shaynen ran into her shoulder and she scoffed and shoved him back. “You used to be a lot cooler.”

“Hey,” He said and stood up straight. “I’m still the same.”

“Are you? Cause you’ve just been walking around with your head down, whimpering about every little thing.” Lycita picked up one knickknack from the shelf and inspected it.

“Well. When I went around here, I saw people and they were dead.” Shaynen whispered. “They were opened up like deer.”

“Well, what’s the difference?” Lycita put the knick knack back and kept walking through the shelves. “We’re all animals too, right? So what’s the difference between people and animals when they’re dead?” Shaynen stared at her in horror.

“Have you ever seen a dead body?” Shaynen asked in horror.

“No, but my mom and dad used to skin and prepare animals for the pantry.” Lycita shrugged. “I don’t imagine a dead person shot by an arrow is any different from a deer shot dead by an arrow.” Shaynen frowned. But he considered the idea. He didn’t remember the images, but he considered how he’d mistaken the scene for animals.

“I guess that makes sense,” Shaynen agreed. “I still don’t want to see another one.”

“Guess I’m just used to it.” Lycita moved along the shelves, trailing her fingers along the wood. Shaynen huffed and looked up at the shelves. He crossed his arms and looked up toward the higher shelves.

“Oh, what’s that?” He pointed up. Lycita turned as he grabbed the shelf. Shaynen hoisted himself up and scaled up the shelves.

“You just wanted to climb up the shelves,” Lycita accused. Shaynen giggled.

“Maybe,” Shaynen grinned, briefly looking down at her. He climbed up higher onto the top of the shelves. He couldn’t fully stand up on the top of the shelf. The ceiling kept him on his hands and knees.

“It’s so dusty up here,” Shaynen grimaced. He slid his hand along the shelf and sent a giant dust bunny floating down to the ground.

“Gross, the shelves themselves aren’t that dusty. Not even the stuff on them.” Lycita said. Grabbing an opposite shelf and climbing.

“There’s so much weird stuff,” Shaynen said, sliding onto the other side of the rows of shelves. The wood creaked under him as he stood on the edges of the full shelves. “I can see jewelry, little statues, toys, clothes. A bunch of random stuff.”

“None of it’s organized either.” Lycita stood on the higher shelves and looked over the other side of the shop.

“It must be right?” Shaynen asked, not waiting for an answer before crawling down the shelves.

He slid towards the head of the room, where there was a desk and a doorway covered in a red curtain.

“Wanna find out what’s behind that curtain?” Lycita called.

“Not really. What if it’s something bad?” Shaynen called back.

“Then we run, duh” Lycita sighed. She crawled down and jumped to the ground with a light thud. Everything in the shop had a light smell of dust and hints of mold. The wooden boards dipped and moved from water rot. The rain that had been breaking the silence was softening, allowing the eerie quiet to creep back in between the shelves. A chill rose Shaynen’s spine.

“I don’t know if we should poke around in back rooms.” He said, too quietly for Lycita to hear. Or maybe she was just ignoring him. He slid along the creaking shelves, following Lycita from the other side of the shelf.

“Lycita, hang on.” Shaynen crawled up to slide over to the other side of the shelf. The board beneath his feet cracked and dropped him and all its contents to the one below. The weight of the fallen items broke the second board, which dropped the items and broke the board below that. Until the entire section of shelving had broken and all the items lay in a heap on the ground. Shaynen, holding the top of the shelf and staring down at the mess.

He hoisted himself up and over the shelf and dropped to the ground. Lycita giggled.

“It’s like you’re cursed to break things when you aren’t on solid ground.” She snickered. Shaynen scowled and wrinkled his nose, but he couldn’t argue with it at all. Lycita skipped past the shelves toward the back room.

“You keep being loud. We’re gonna get caught.” She sang. Shaynen followed right behind her, crossing his arms with an angry pout. She rounded the shop counter and seized the red curtain.

"Lycita, I really think we should just leave it alone." Shaynen said he didn't enter the counter area.

"Well then, wait there, fraidy cat." She snapped at him. Shaynen glared at her.

"You're being mean," he said. "I'm going to leave."

"Go then," Lycita turned with a smug grin. Shaynen turned around to face the door.

"Fine, I will." He said, his loud voice sounded unnatural in the eerie silence. "I'm leaving!" He started walking toward the door, taking his time with every step. Taking long steps, waiting for Lycita to call him back. But she didn't. Shaynen turned back to see what she was doing, but she was gone. The red curtain beckoned him in with brief, moving glimpses of her shirt on the other side.

Shaynen ran back to the curtain. He hesitated outside the curtain but stood up tall and rushed inside. Back room covered in black ick. So thick it was impossible to see anything else. It churned like ink in a bowl and seemed to turn toward the children and watch them.

Shaynen threw his arms around Lycita and started dragging her back.

"Hey! Stop it!" She yelled, flailing around, trying to break free. "Let go of me!" He dragged her back behind the curtain, her arms flapped and her elbows caught him in the shoulders, but he didn't let go. He hooked his arms together and lifted her up. Carrying her, kicking and spitting back around the counter. Shaynen couldn't hear the insults she was hurting at him. The effort it took to hold her up and withstand her chaotic attacks took all the focus away from his hearing. She elbowed him in his face and he dropped her.

Shaynen staggered back, holding his face. Lycita was up again before he was ready. She charged forward and shoved him into the shelves. The wood broke and Shaynen fell into the heap of broken knick knacks.

"What'd you do that for!" He yelled. The things beneath him weren't sharp but bruised him. Lycita didn't respond. Shaynen crawled to his feet. It hurt to stand upright. She ran to shove him again, but he was ready this time. He caught her arms and pushed her back. Swinging them both around and pulling her toward the door again.

"I'm telling," he said as he struggled to move her. She yanked and twisted unnaturally. It made Shaynen’s arms and shoulders hurt. He couldn’t imagine how bad it must hurt her.

“Why are you fighting me? Doesn’t it hurt you!” Lycita broke free and Shaynen fell backward. He landed at the feet of his mother.

“Mom, Lycita-” Shaynen started, but he didn't finish. His mother seized his arm hard and yanked him up to his feet. He didn’t stand fully as she threw him outside of the building into the mud.

“Go get your father! Now!” she yelled as she slammed the door. Shaynen slid into the mud and stumbled into a run.

“I thought you said nothing bad was going to happen!” He yelled as he ran. The watch was already waking the wagons. Shaynen’s father was out of the wagon and running. Shaynen slid to a stop, making a groove in the mud.

“Who is it?”

“Lycita, she’s being weird!” Shaynen yelled. Lycita’s parents jumped out of the wagon and ran after.

“Shaynen, come up here please!” Reo shouted from the back of the wagon. Shaynen hopped up into the wagon. Reo stopped him on the edge. “What happened? Did you touch anything?”

“No,” Shaynen said. “I mean, I hit a shelf and broke a lot of stuff, but I didn’t intentionally touch anything.” The villagers in the wagon bunched up at the far end away from him. They stared with wide eyes of distrust and wide-eyed fear.

“Okay, don’t come closer. What happened?” Reo asked. They backed up and kept Shaynen at the edge of the wagon.

“She pretended to be asleep and got up to explore when no one was looking. I followed her into this building and when I told her I was leaving, she went into the backroom where there was a bunch of black stuff!” Shaynen yelled. He didn’t like the way the people he’d spent his whole life around were suddenly acting like he’d gone feral. “That’s bad. But when I tried to get her to leave, she shoved me into the shelves!” He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, feeling the bruises that were still sore from the shelves.

“It really hurt,” He whined. Reo sighed and nodded.

“Okay,”

“Okay?” One of Shaynen’s neighbors hissed.

“Yes,” Reo said. “He’s not acting differently. He’s the same kid he’s always been.”

“We can’t stay here. This entire forest is going to kill us,” one woman wept in the back.

“Shut up. Where would we go if we’re not here?” Someone snapped.

“Don’t yell! We’re all scared and you’re not helping!”

The wagon erupted into loud arguing. Shaynen covered his ears against the discourse. It was louder than he could handle.

“All right, that’s enough!” His father yelled as he jumped into the wagon, making it rock. “This is a complicated and unprecedented time. I think it’s best for us all if we take shelter with our brothers over the mountain.” Shaynen uncovered his ears. There was an uncomfortable silence. Reo slid in front of him and whispered to his father.

“I thought it was contained in only one building?” They whispered.

“So did I,” His father said. “But apparently, the magic shop was where it originated.”

“There could be more,” Reo said, the dread weighing their voice down.

“Nowhere in this forest is safe from it. We have to leave it,” his father sighed.

“Lycita?”

“Infected, there’s nothing we can do for her.” His father lowered his voice, but it didn’t stop Shaynen from hearing. “All we can do is lay her to rest.”

“That’s awful,” Reo breathed. “We need to keep eyes on everyone at all times,”

“Until we’re out of the forest, it’s especially important we all observe every child,” His father said. “Just one infected child could bring down the entire village. Pass it along,” Reo nodded and crossed the wagon to the other adults. Shaynen stared down at his hands. He couldn’t move. He could barely breathe. His father knelt down and fixed him with a hard stare that only increased the weight on him.

“What were you two thinking?” He asked seriously. It took a minute before Shaynen could speak.

“I didn’t want her to go by herself. She wouldn’t leave. I couldn’t just leave her,” he said. His voice trembled as he focused on his hands. “I didn’t let her touch it, though. I stopped her.”

“You should have gotten an adult,” his father said. “Shaynen, I don’t know what to do with you. Whenever there’s trouble, it always has something to do with you. Can’t you just sit down and not cause trouble?” Shaynen clenched his jaw as hard as he could. It made his bones and temples hurt. He nodded and his father walked away. Shaynen found a place to sit away from the scrambling of people and sat down. Ila crawled down the side and sat next to him.

“You okay?” They asked. Shaynen drew his knees up and rested his head on them.

“You wanna talk about it?”

He looked away to the rain outside the wagon. The roads were covered in mud and puddles, but the rains were lightening up. Shaynen had feelings. Lots of them. All competing for his attention and his remaining energy.

He was angry, for one. There was no moment of safety. Not even one. Everyone was constantly lying and saying everything would be fine and nothing bad would happen when bad things were all that were happening.

He was angry that his parents seemed to blame him for all the bad things that were happening. He was angry that he was trying his best to do everything they asked, and he still couldn’t do it right.

He was sad. It had been his idea to stay up, and he was to blame for Lycita wandering in places that she shouldn’t have been.

The competing emotions fought and left him numb. Staring at the rain. Lycita’s parents jumped up onto the wagon and sat down where they stood. Shaynen couldn’t look at them. Neither of them attempted to dry off or move out of his mother’s way.

She paused and knelt down in front of him.

“Shaynen-” She held out her hand to brush his hair out of his face.

“Don’t.” He said sharply. His mother drew back her hand as if bitten.

“He’s not feeling well right now,” Ila said softly. His mother nodded, her hand reaching to touch him again but stopping short. She stood up.

“Keep an eye on him then,” she said as quiet as Ila. They nodded and slid a little closer to Shaynen. He slid a little further away. With a jerk, the wagons moved. Shaynen rest his head on his knees and watched it. His eyes watered, but he didn’t let it become tears.

“Ila, why don’t you go see if there’s any dry blankets or towels?” Lycita’s mom asked.

“But I have to watch-”

“I’ll watch him,”

Shaynen grit his teeth together, making a sound that curled his bones. He felt the need to jump from the wagon and run forever. Ila looked at him, then back to Lycita’s mom, then her mother. They nodded and got up to find the towels. Lycita’s mom sat down in front of Shaynen. He sunk his teeth into his cheek. Keeping his stare fixed on the marks left by the wagon’s wheels.

“We know you tried your best,” she whispered. “And. Thank you for looking out for her. Even if…” Shaynen bit harder. A rainstorm of guilt thundered over him, intensifying with the barely concealed sobs of Lycita’s mother.

“You did your best, and we don’t want you feeling like you could have done more.” Lyctia’s mom cleared her throat. She reached out and picked up Shaynen’s limp hand. He forced it to stay relaxed, which made it tense instead. Lycita’s mom slipped something onto his wrist and placed his hand back on his knees. She retreated to Lycita’s mother.

Shaynen pulled his arms into his lap. He felt the beaded bracelet on his wrist, something left over from the girl. The guilt ripped at his skin under the lapis lazuli beads. He hooked his fingers beneath it to break it, but didn't have the strength to pull.

Ila returned and brought the dry blankets to Lycita's parents. They sat back beside Shaynen.

"I was keeping an eye on her, too." They said, placing the blonde doll in-between them.

"You can keep her," Shaynen said, still starting blankly at the wheels.

"For real?" Ila asked, pushing her a little closer to Shaynen. "Don't you want her?"

"No."

"I'll just hold on to her for a little bit," Ila said. Not taking the doll. "And if you want her back, you just have to ask." Shaynen said nothing. He moved the bracelet around his wrist idly. It felt like it was burning him and weighed more than a mountain. The weight made his hand numb and stiff.

"We're moving now," Ila said. "I heard we're going over the mountains. I bet everything's going to be a lot better now."

" I don't think it is. I don't think it will be ever again," Shaynen mumbled.

"It's not like you to be down like this," Ila said. "you're always hopeful, like everyone's your friend and the world is a good place that just sometimes feels dark. It's not right for you to not be yourself."

“My dad said that being myself keeps people in trouble,” Shaynen muttered. “So I’m not going to be myself anymore.”

“Can you just not be who you are? I don’t think it works like that,” Ila said. “Doesn’t not being who you are make you sad?”

“I feel sad now,” Shaynen said. “How much worse could I feel?”