A thump, thump, thumping noise woke Fand from her sleep. The goat had lifted the bar of the door and was headed outside. Panicked, Fand leapt from her pallet and rushed to the door. The absolute cold struck her hard in the face. Tears stung her eyes. The snow was covered with the pink light of dawn. Not far from her she heard the sound of running water, and then a soft grunt. The goat rounded the corner of the house and went back inside. Fand slammed the door closed and bolted it. The goat went to a box by the fire and thumped her head against it. Fand went to it and opened it. There was fodder in it. Goat food. She asked the goat, “Have you been here before or did you just smell the food? Why didn’t you want to eat last night? The goat cast a yellow eye in Fand’s direction and then turned her attention to the fodder. With her lips she picked up a bite of food and began to munch. The goat seemed utterly at home.

Fand went back to the cradle where the baby slept. Her tiny chest was moving up and down with steady breaths. It was a miracle this child still lived, that they both still lived. Gently Fand pulled the little blankets up around the baby’s shoulders. The stitches on the baby’s gown looked like they were sewn by the same hand that had stitched the blankets. Renate had sewn the baby’s gown, had she also sewn the blankets? If she had was this Renate’s home? Fand breathed in the air. It smelled of lavender just like Renate. Slowly Fand took in the room. Like the gypsy cart, like the cave, this place reflected Renate’s taste. The placement of the spare furnishings, the lay out of the pots and pans, the quilt and towels were the same. This had to be Renate’s home. Would this have been the place she would have raised the baby if she had lived? Had Loren grown up here too? There were so many questions!

A loud growl echoed in Fand’s stomach. It was so loud the baby stirred in her sleep. Fand didn’t want to wake the baby. The child tended to roar to life in the morning. Quietly she crept away from the cradle. Breakfast was what she needed. In the cupboard she found grain, potatoes, dried meat, clover tea and a crock of honey. She washed two potatoes and placed them in the hot ashes of the fire. It would be awhile before they were ready. On a hook by the hearth was a bright copper kettle. She filled it with water. Soon it would boil and she would have some clover tea. While she waited for the water to boils she examined the room. In the back of the cupboard she found a box with clothes of a small boy. Had they belonged to Loren’s? Reverently she placed them back int their box. Her eyes scanned the cabin. On the mantle was an intricately carved cedar box. Inside it Fand found two sealed letters. In a clear and precise hand were the words, For my son, Loren Uhr. On the second letter were the words, For my babe, Zel.

Zel. That was what Renate had intended to name the baby. But she had left the last name blank. Suddenly, Fand realized she didn’t know Renate’s last name. Was it Uhr like Loren’s? Fand knew one thing for sure, this baby’s last name would be Geworden. She was bone of her bone and flesh of her flesh. Wait. Everything inside her stopped. She didn’t have the right to name this child. Only Loren had the right. The baby should be Uhr, as he was Uhr. Zog had no legal claim on the child. And though Fand believed deep in her heart this was indeed Zog’ss child, she truly had no way of ever knowing for sure. Fand turned her eyes from the letters to the baby. She was just beginning to stir.

The baby opened her mouth and let out a squeak. Fand put the letters back into the box. Quickly, she went to Zel, and scooped her up. Zel opened her eyes, eyes so like her mother’s. They were no longer dark, over night they had changed to the color of the sky. Fear filled Fand, she rubbed her hands across the baby’s tiny shoulders. She felt the bumps of wing buds. She placed her hands over the buds and prayed, “Please, no, not this!” To her amazement the buds disappeared. Frightened Fand almost dropped the baby. What had she just done, or what had she just imagined? Nothing was normal here.

Zel lost all patience with Fand and began to howl for her breakfast. Fand had tough work cleaning the child, fixing the teat and dressing the baby in her frantic state. By the time Zel was sucking on her teat, Fand was exhausted. Once again, thoughts of Uncle Wert came to her mind. He had done all these things for her. By now, he knew she was missing again. It hurt to know he was worried. Somehow she must get back to him. She must get back and introduce him to Zog's child.

A small grunt came from the sucking child. Fand looked down at the baby. She was such a strong one, greedy and hungry for life. Who would this child be? Would she get a chance to be? What came next? Fand did not have a single answer and life just kept getting stranger and stranger. Her one hope was Audra. Surely Audra would come to her. She stretched out her thoughts to the woman, but sensed nothing. Nothing.

Once Zel was pacified and quiet, Fand laid her down in the cradle. While the baby slept, Fand continued her exploration of the cabin. The goat’s hooves clicked across the floor boards. Near the edge of her pallet a board squeaked and sounded hollow. The goat walked across it again. It did sound different. Fand went to the board and gripped it with her fingernails. It came loose easily. Inside the secret compartment were two books. Fand pulled them out. They were written in the same hand, that had addressed the letters. Both were barely wider than her palm. One contained a list of medicinal plants with small detailed illustrations. The second book was for thenailments of Sonpur. Treatments for skin irritation, paw fungus, snout sickness were listed in Renate’s fine hand. How much contact had this woman had with the Sonpur? More blasted questions. With frightened yet curious eyes, Fand studied the drawings of the Sonpur. They did not look so scary in the illustrations. Among her other talents it seemed, Renate was also quite an accomplished artist.

The baby let out a small sigh. Fand turned her attention from the book to the baby. What had Zel inherited from her mother? Would these gifts cause her more grief than comfort? Only time would tell, if they had any time. The only time they had was now. If they had a future Zel would need some token of her mother. An orphan needed something tangible to hold onto when her parents were spirited beyond her vision. Fand wished for her father’s letters. She wished for the dove pendant her mother had given her but she had lost those dear possessions. Did she even have a token of Zog? No. Jerim’s relic had been the last thing she had received from him. It like everything else was gone.

The baby sighed. In that moment Fand realized, Zog had left her something, had left her some one. He had given her a niece. Fand wanted so badly to be able to care for this child. If they got out of their current circumstances alive, she knew she would not get to keep Zel. Loren would want to look after his sister. It was right and good that he should. A pang shot through Fand. She was quickly becoming very, very attached to this scrap of humanity.

*

Three days passed without incident. The normalness of the days and nights were a balm. Fand, the goat and Zel were able to eat and sleep at regular intervals. With each day that passed Fand felt her strength and her reason begin to return to her.

Just before dawn on the fourth day Fand looked out the window and saw a strange cloud appear on the horizon. It did not look like any normal cloud Fand had ever seen. But then what was normal here? Quickly it raced across the surface of the snow. Closer and closer it came. A second cloud was racing behind it. A sharp wind shot around the cabin and set the trees to groaning.

Alert, but not yet afraid, Fand thought it best to prepare herself and Zel. She fixed warm teats and put them in a lined leather pouch. She took three hot potatoes from the ashes and stuffed them in the bag as well. In a second bag she stuffed clean baby things and the books and letters that Renate had written. Next she pulled the baby close and put her in the sling she had fashioned for her. It rested securely against Fand’s body. Last of all she put on her cloak. When she was completely ready, she went to the window to watch and wait. Something was about to happen, she could feel it coming.

Through the window she saw a troop of Sonpur on their horses. The looked like tiny toy soldiers from this distance. Not far behind them was a militia of men. Men? What were men doing here? How many men were there? Fand tried to count but they were moving too fast. Both groups passed the cabin. On lone rider was trailing them. The rider veered toward the cabin. He had seen it. Keeper No! Fear took hold of Fand. What now? WHAT NOW! Frozen in place, unable to even breathe Fand watched the rider coming closer and closer. The horse was black. She recognized Donner's gait. Resen? Yes it was Resen. He had come for her again.