《Fand》Chapter 52. Flight
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When Fand sat down on the bed, her wings collapsed against her. They were the strangest things. They behaved as if they had always been part of her. For the first time she wondered, Would flight come easily? A shiver ran through her. Flight, to fly to go up into the clouds. It was the stuff of dreams not anything she ever thought she would do. And yet, she just might.
What ever had been in the red vial, had relaxed Renate completely. She lay with her mouth partially open snoring. The shadows under her eyes where softer. Once she had been incredibly beautiful. Now, swollen with pregnancy and battered by time, her beauty had faded, but it was still there. How many men had she loved? How many children had she birthed? How many had lived and how many had died? Fand’s mind quickly darted away from that question. Zog’s babe must live. This was not the time to think a single negative thought. Renate stirred in her sleep and rolled toward the wall. Fand could no longer see her face.
From somewhere a cold breeze brushed passed Fand. The door they had entered was completely sealed. Again, she felt cold air. It seemed to be coming from the cupboard. Curiosity pricked at Fand, but she did not explore. Renate must not be disturbed. She needed sleep. Fand too was weary. Not weary like she had been last night. Was it only last night that she had been in bed weak and listless with only one hand. Ever since Petran had touched her, energy like she had never known flowed through her. How was Petran? He must still be among the living! Oh, he must! His face so clear in her memory, so very like Zog’s... If only Zog had been the man Petran was, things would have turned out differently.
Fand’s mind began to travel backward. Soon she was at home in her old loft bedroom. In her hands were her father’s letters. She had read them so many times she had them memorized. In the past they always comforted her. Slowly from memory she repeated each line. When she reached the part that said, Stella means star, and that is truly what you will be for me. The guiding force of my life… Fand stopped there. Her father had killed himself when he lost his Stella. He had killed himself and left her. Unlce Wert for all his faults had carried on. Poor Uncle Wert. He must be frantic with worry over her. Why couldn’t her father and Zog have been more like Uncle Wert. They had been romantic fools, her father thought her mother was the only one who could give him life, and Zog thought his happiness depended upon the Council. Stupid, stupid. But was she so different? She was certain her happiness depended on getting back home. What if she never got back home? Would she too become self destructive? Desperately she prayed, Keeper, please, no.
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Tears began to slip silently down Fand’s cheeks. The wings on her back were caught by another stray breeze. They whispered to her, but she did could not understand what they said.
*
At some point during the night Fand had drifted into fitful dreams. Images confused and frightening flitted through her mind. Sonpur marched in her dreams. Pyre kept screaming her name. Loren and Resen fought one another with butcher knives. Resen lunged forward and just as the blade of his knife was about to pierce Loren, a voice called to Fand. In her dream Fand turned toward the voice and began to run. The voice, a female voice grew louder. She opened her eyes. For a moment she thought she was in her infirmary room. A young woman with dark hair and moon glow eyes stood over her. She was wearing a tan leather shirt and britches behind her were a pair of magnificent white wings. She said, “My, you are a tough one to rouse. Are you hungry?”
Fand could only stare. She had never seen an angel before. The woman shrugged her shoulders. Her feathers rustled. “My name is Audra. And after I feed you, we shall have your first flying lesson.”
"What?"
"You are going to learn to use your wings." Audra's eyes, squinted and asked, "Surely you have seen wings in use. I was sure Angs flew when you were with him."
"How could he? He didn't have wings."
"No wings?"
Fand shook her head.
"I wonder what Folgen bartered him to get him to give up his wings?" Audra raised her eyebrows at Fand. "Well, that is a puzzle we shall not solve this morning. Get washed up and I will fix you some breakfast."
Beneath the glowing stone, Audra sat a pan of water. At the foot of Fand's bed was a basin of water. She got up, washed herself, and combed through her tangled hair. The instant she finished Audra handed her a steaming bowl of something, Fand did not even taste whatever Audra had put in her bowl. Her mind was too preoccupied as she ate. Had Angs bartered away his wings? She tried to remember the mural in Kammin Spire. Had Angs had wings in the mural? There had been a man with wings. Had that man been Angs or his father? She had always assumed it had been his father. Maybe it wasn't. Renate's voice broke into her thoughts, "No, that is enough."
"You must eat more Renate. Your strength is low and you are going to need every bit you have to get your child into the world."
Fand glanced at Renate. She was propped in bed. Fand did not like here color. She seemed too pale and her hands kept restlessly straying to her belly. After a few more spoonfuls, Renate whispered, "Please, no more." Audra sighed but did not try to force her to eat.
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"All right. Rest then. Fand and I have a lot to do today." Audra took the bowl and walked to the cupboard. To Fand she said, "Are you about done?"
"Yes."
"Good." The next thing Audra did was shove her shoulder against the cupboard. There was a loud screeching noise as the thing moved on some sort of hinges. Audra shoved the cupboard to the side. She placed her hand on the bare stone. A tiny slit opened and then a door appeared.
Fand said, “I felt a breeze yesterday, I wondered where it was coming from.”
Audra whipped around and looked at her. The movement sent all her feathers to dancing. “You felt a breeze?”
Fand nodded.
“You should not have. Let me go in first. Perhaps the mountain has only shifted. There may be a crack I need to repair.” Audra stepped into the complete darkness beyond the door. Without light she moved further and further away until her footsteps could not even be heard. Fand glanced back at Renate. Her eyes had closed and she seemed to have fallen asleep. After what seemed a very long time, Audra returned to the opening. “Come, I didn’t find anything suspicious.”
Fand was not entirely reassured, but she went in any way. The instant she stepped beyond the door she realized she was in a huge dome, much like the one where Resen’s family lived. The air was icy. All at once a brilliant white light filled the dome. The walls were covered in dripping water. Strange things hung from the ceiling and others grew from the floor. There were places where the floor things met the ceiling things. Fand turned to look at Audra. The light was coming from her. Her face, her hands, her wings all glowed. Not with sickly yellow glow that Fand had acquired in Kammin Spire, nor the rainbow glow of Angs. This was a pure, white light. A light, like the light she imagined heaven possessed. It was light, like the light in the dream she had had when Zog called her back to life. Fand felt her own skin begin to tingle. A warm wave of air swirled around her capturing her in its heat. The air pushed into her head, flowed down her shoulders and lit up her wings, her body, her entire self. The sense of energy she had felt since yesterday became a sense of power and it frightened her. This was not strong magic, this was a miracle. No human had conjured this, she knew deep down, this was an act of divine design. Why had Keeper poured this gift into her?
“Come,” Audra said. She was standing on a large rock about Fand’s height. Puzzled and afraid, Fand went to the rock.
“What now? Do I try to fly up?”
“No, flying up is harder than flying down. You have to feel lift before you can create lift. Climb up. I know you can climb. We all can.” Audra held an arm out to her. Fand grasped hold of it and was surprised by her own strength. What was going on inside her body? When she scaled the rock, Audra let go of her arm. “I want you to envision a dove leaping from a limb and flapping her wings. When you have that image firmly in your mind, jump, flap your wings and fly to the ground.”
The ground suddenly looked really far away. Sweat pooled in Fand’s palms and her mouth went dry. To just jump? This was the stupid. It really was not that far. She closed her eyes. In her mind she saw a pure white dove in one of the pear trees at home. It propelled its little body off the branch and spread its wings. It gave them one vigorous flap then floated softly to the ground.
Audra said, “Now, trust your wings.”
Tentatively Fand focused her mind on her wings. In that instant her conscious thought caused them to flutter. She twitched her shoulder blades and the wings flapped! Again she tried it. An incredible rush of joy shot through her. She had not expected this. The next thing she knew she was hovering above the stone. She pressed her wings into action and went even higher.
From below Audra scolded, “I told you to start with down, but you have started with up. I was warned that you are a contrary girl. Now do be careful! Its not a good idea to become cocky on one’s first flight.”
Inside her chest Fand’s heart was thumping hard. This was magnificent. The most splendid thing she had ever felt. The instant she glanced down at Audra, she felt dizzy. She hadn't realized just how high up she was. She was almost to the ceiling. Fand spread her wings into glide position. Her wings just seemed to know what to do. She felt herself slowly descending. The sensation was not unlike that of Transferrance. When she touched down, Audra flew to the ground and embraced her. “Oh Fand, that was so good. Tomorrow I will teach you maneuvers and begin your endurance training.”
"Endurance training?"
"Yes, the flight to your new home is far, and it will take great strength to get there."
Puzzled Fand asked, "Why can't you just Transfer us there? It would be so much quicker."
"Transferrance can not penetrate the world in which we inhabit."
Fand started to ask another question, but Audra held up her hand. "That is enough for one day. I have some scouting I must do before night falls. Go, and tend to Renate."
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