„Footsteps that lead nowhere. Footsteps that leave deep wounds in the heart”

The thunderlights of the sky were cracking the morning horizon in small pieces, scattering the raindrops all over and making the autumn leaves feverishly shake in the hug of the time’s cruelty. But even so, „nature has its own beauty,” murmured Eva while standing in front of the window and looking at the outside madness.

And… she couldn’t sleep all night long. But it wasn’t because of the outside weather or that she was afraid of something. It happened because of the inner storm that was similar to the outside one, but which also had some strange shades of calmness in it as if it had been the peace felt before a big loss.

„It’s probably because I’m back here,” she told herself the entire night, feeling that she won’t fall asleep eventually. But even so, in those few hours of being in a house that she got to hate that much, she felt that life started again for her, even if in a strange way.

Suddenly she winced, hearing a noisily knock on the front door. „Who to be?” she wondered, looking at the big clock on the wall that was showing that it was 5.45 in the morning. „And at this early hour.” But, even if she tried to ignore the outside world and completely immerse herself in thoughts, she eventually decided that it’ll be a good idea to go downstairs and to see who came, for she was sure that Christine would never open the door to a stranger at dawn.

She had been wrong yet thinking that Christine was probably sleeping and that she didn’t hear the knock on the door, for, descending the stairs, she saw her in the living room, next to the gas lamp that she just lighted, holding a half match between fingers, whose blind light was still seen burning its small wooden body, devouring it.

Feeling someone’s footsteps descending the stairs, Christine glanced over there and, seeing Eva stopped next to the stairs, she smiled. But that smile wasn’t either satisfaction or hatred and it wasn’t also because of pity: it was a smile born from her increasing fear for the outside world.

She winced, yet, hearing Eva telling her calmly: „someone is knocking on the door. Won’t you open it?”

„I was about to do that,” said Christine dryly, but instead to head to the door and open it, she turned her back to Eva and entered her office, slamming the door after entering. Only after a few seconds, she told Eva: „if you are interested to see who came to our door in such devilish weather and so early, go and open it. I… don’t want to beat my brains about it, too.”

Eva ironically smiled: „I didn’t ever expect something else from you,” she murmured and finally finished descending the two stairs that were still left to descend. Then, she approached the table, staring for a few seconds at the half-burnt wooden body of the match which Christine threw in the ash pot and which was still smoking. But, hearing another knock, she grabbed the handle of the lamp, approached the door, and opened it.

„You…? Here…?” she asked in amazement, seeing Anne Ross in front of the door, soaking wet, shivering because of the cold, and with a deep wound in the corn of the lips, plus a big bruise on the upper part of the right cheek.

„May I in?” Anne managed to say, barely heard. „I came on foot till here,” she added, shuddering. „I feel that I don’t have forces to go elsewhere. And… to be honest, I don’t think that I have somewhere else to go,” she mumbled, staring into Eva’s eyes, who was staring at her, thunderstruck, unconfident, not understanding what the hell pushed Anne from behind to hit the road on such weather when a good master doesn’t allow even the dog to stay outside, much less a human to wander the world with another baby-human under her heart.

„Come in!” Eva said eventually, moving away from Anne’s way, who entered right away. Then, the door slowly closed behind the two, prohibiting the outside world to lurk at what was happening inside. And… even if the two women carefully closed the door, the autumn and its curiosity tried to enter the house through the windows. But even those on the ground floor were closed and with the curtains drawn, a hint that the inside world of the house was something forbidden to be seen by the outside one.

Getting to the living room, Anne looked around and found something changed, even if there was the same furniture and the same curtains hanging at the windows, the same one single leg candlestick on the coffee table, and the same blind secret world revealed in front of her eyes at the mouth of the fireplace, where the fire extinguished long ago, falling prey to cold’s madness.

„Yet, I feel as if I left this house only yesterday,” murmured Anne when Eva also came to the living room, bringing a blanket which she put on the guest’s shoulders. Anne, feeling warmth around her shoulders, grabbed the edges of the blanket with shaking hands and wrapped it around her body. Then, she approached the fireplace, where it was still warm despite the fact that the fire went out since long ago inside it.

„I go to ask the servant to serve us some tea,” said Eva and turned her back on her, heading toward the servants’area. Halfway instead she stopped, hearing that the door of Christine’s office had been opened and her saying:

„There’s no one left in this house. Only the three of us.”

Amazed, Eva slowly turned toward her and stared at Christine for a long time while Mrs. Bircham was piercing Anne with her mad glance and Anne, also, was staring at the woman who she got to hate the most in her life, for her betrayal.

„Why are you here?” Mrs. Bircham asked, after a few minutes of deep silence. „I thought that you won’t ever leave that warm nest that Luis offered you as a gift,” she added, hissing her hatred through her teeth.

Yet, her words only managed to make Anne ironically smile. Then, the young woman stood up, leaving the blanket to fall at her feet, and, arrogant, she headed toward her deadly rival: „a warm nest, a love nest, in which I’ve been a captive thanks to you, Mrs. Bircham. But the dream is almost gone and… it’s time to turn back to where I belong to.”

„Like a servant, you wanted to say,” Christine mumbled, not losing sight of Anne.

„No. I’ve stopped being a servant in that cold stable where I fell prey to your and Luis’madness. More than that: now, when I wear his child under my heart, I intend to make full use of my revenge and the first victim that will fall due to my madness will be you for sure, Christine.”

Only one step separated the two, that were throwing poisoned arrows from their eyes at each other while their souls were a scorched battlefield for hatred, for the desire to get revenge, for pride, for prejudice, and for mad desire to kneel to the enemy, and, the most important… to kill him.

Eva instead stood a few meters from them, staring at that weird battle between two women that had shared once the bed with the same man, but who had been later abandoned and chased away as if they were simple objects that became useless in time. At least this was what Eva thought, for if Anne had come till there on foot, this meant that Luis got rid of her, eventually.

She came to her sense from that turmoil of thoughts when she heard Anne’s voice not that far from her: „Eva, can you accompany me to the second floor? Not the other, but I feel that I don’t have enough strength to climb alone those stairs. Not after all the road till here on foot, through the rain, with my soul chained by the outside storm and by my thoughts.”

„Of course,” Eva told her dryly and headed toward the stairs, taking the gas lamp from off the table to illuminate their path.

But while they were climbing those stairs and Anne was supporting herself on Eva's arm, for she had also a 7-month pregnancy already and it was difficult for her to climb them, both shuddered, hearing Christine’s voice behind them: „be careful on those stairs. Once, long ago, the same stairs took someone’s life. It won’t be difficult for me to repeat that scene.”

Looking back, they saw that Christine was still in the middle of the living room and this allowed them to breathe a sigh of relief, for, even for a moment only, they thought that they heard Christine’s voice right behind them and cold sweat drops ran down their back. Then, when they felt that they finally calmed down and that they could again normally breathe, they continued to climb those stairs and, so soon, they both entered Emily’s room, for, another room to give Anne, Eva didn’t have.

Hearing the door’s room closed behind the two, Christine gnashed her teeth and squeezed her fists: „damn you, life, with all your twist and unexpected events. Yesterday, it was Eva who turned back to my house, blowing down my neck and blackmailing me with my secrets, which she somehow found out them, to appear now another one in my house, with a bastard in her womb, forcing me to accept her here again without saying a word. But you are all so wrong if you think that you managed to tell Christine Bircham where she gets off. It’s just an illusion and you aren’t more than pawns on my checkerboard, pawns that I’ll manage somehow to get rid of, very soon.”

Then, she again entered her office, slamming the door behind her, and, hours later, only the tobacco smell, lifted from her pipe and scattered all over the house, was still felt.

***

„She’s leaving somewhere!” murmured Eva, standing in front of the window and staring at how Christine was rushing toward her carriage. And, in the driving box, she saw Mrs. Bircham’s old teamster, a guy simply named Chucky, who was often called in that house when she needed to go in town. In rest, what he was doing, where he was living, or why he had that nickname, for Eva knew that it wasn’t for sure his name, she didn’t know.

„She probably goes in town to look for some answers,” said Anne in a half a voice and coughed, a sign that the rain that wet her clothes while coming here made her catch a cold.

„Answers? Like?” asked Eva amazed, staring at Anne’s ruddy face.

„Why I’m here. Or maybe why we are both here. And… to be honest, I never expected to find you here. Especially… after our last meeting,” and, Anne stared at Eva’s belly, which seemed flat enough, despite the fact that she gave birth recently.

„Mmm, you’re probably right. And… regarding your question about why I am here, I have no other answer that maybe fate is guilty of that,” Eva said dryly, approaching the dressing table and pouring some water in the glass, which she later gave Anne. „Drink this. It’ll make you feel better and it’ll cool your body too, at least a little bit. Not the other, but… in your condition, having a fever can be bad.”

„I know this very well. But… I don’t have how to fight against what’s happening to me.”

„Do you mean the breakup with Luis Chesterman?” asked Eva. But, even if she tried to seem indifferent, she was still curious to find out how in fact ended that weird love story between Brian’s eternal rival and that tender child, who had been once against her, but who got eventually to help her and somehow to have pity on her.”

„Breakup… well, this is a too big word to call what I had with Luis - a relationship to say later that we’ve broken up. Let’s just say that I haven’t luck.”

„What do you mean this time?” Eva asked again, sitting on the bed.

Anne kept silent instead: for a long time, staring at the glass that she was holding with both hands, at the blanket that was covering her body up to the breasts and which was a little bit rounded in front of the belly, and with her heart beating so slow in her chest. „Do you know, Eva, I’ve been always envy on you: on the fact that Brian Beneath loved you and I’m sure that he still loves you, even if you are here now, for you both had a lot of moments of tenderness, of happiness, and of sadness in a unique way. Instead, I didn’t have any of this, as if life had been stubborn to put me to the ground all the time, kneeling me and making me suffer. And I don’t say that looking for pity. No, I don’t want you to get this wrong. I just tell what I feel.”

„Yet, Anne, you have a baby in your womb.”

Anne finally looked at her, but her eyes were so empty, despite the huge pain felt in her soul. „A child born in sin.”

These words made Eva wince, reminding her about what she told Mrs. Huntington only a night ago. Then, she also said this sentence: „a child born in sin.”

„Eva?” hearing Anne’s voice, Eva winced again. „Something happens?”

„No. I’m listening,” Eva rushed to say and again approached the window.

Anne instead continued her thought: „yesterday, Marianne Chesterman came by the house Luis bought for us. And… asked me to go immediately from that house, for she won’t accept to live at her expense anymore.”

„That simple? She just told you to leave?”

Anne smiled: „Of course, it wasn’t that simple. And as a testimony of our meeting, you can see how my face looks now. But: I’ve been weak in front of her, for being alone while she had someone to help her.”

„Sophie Anderson Bell?” said Eva in a whisper, but, in her heart, she felt the thorn of hatred stubbing the walls of that engine of life, how the hatred started to boil inside her, and she wished so bad to see her rival kneeled down, even if she and Sophie never met each other, and even if Sophie never did her what Marianne and Christine did to Anne.

„No. It was Marianne’s teamster and two men who she brought with her. Namely, they grabbed me by the arms and threw me into the street. This bruise you see on my cheek I have from the battle with them, better to say with one of them when, fighting to be released, I hit his head.”

„Yet, I think it has been too risky to come here,” and Eva took a few steps through the room. „You should have thought about the child. Eventually, he’ll be the heir of Chesterman’s empire. I don’t think Luis will give up on him. At least, not that easy.”

„I hope so,” Anne mumbled incredulously. „But till he’ll be back, it’s a long while to wait, for he told me that he’ll be back to London in about three months. If God wants, I’ll give birth by then.”

„Then, moreover you shouldn’t give up,” Eva told her confidently, something that amazed Anne so much, for she had never seen Eva so decided on something. „What?” Eva asked amazed, seeing Anne’s glance focused on her.

„It surprises me the fact that you’re so calm. More: I’m so amazed to see that you whispered Sophie Anderson Bell’s name so calmly. This means you know about her relationship with Brian Beneath.”

Eva deeply breathed in: „I found out this. The day I gave birth to my baby girl.”

„And… why aren’t you with her now?”

„It’s a long story. Too twisted to explain it in a few words only and… too dangerous to tell others about it.”

„Dangerous? In which way?”

„You’ll find out. Maybe. Someday. Now… have some rest. I’ll go to find someone to help us, for none of us have faced something similar ever, and I’m sure that if something happens with you, it’ll be difficult for us to manage it. And… to be honest, after I gave birth, I don’t want to face such a situation again. I’ll better go to call a doctor to see you,” and she rushed to leave the room.”

Alone, Anne first drank the water Eva gave her, then left the glass on the pillow next to her and laid on the bed, pulling the blanket up to her neck, to warm herself. Yet, her eyes were still staring at those few stubborn raindrops that were still seen on the window, despite the fact that the rain stopped half an hour ago.

And those rapid raindrops weren’t more than just the tears of Anne’s soul, that soul that was suffering a lot, that soul trampled under feet in a cold stable, that one which forgot about pride and entered the bed of the one who made her a woman against her will, to later allow to be again trampled under feet by a rival that wanted her knocked on the ground, but who she hadn’t enough force to confront at that moment.

Then, so soon, she fell asleep, feeling her eyelids as if made from lead: so heavy that she couldn’t keep her eyes open. But… when she opened her eyes again, she saw, like in a dream, Mrs. Huntington’s hand touching her forehead. But she didn’t know that old lady and, thinking that she was dreaming, she closed her eyes again. Then, when she opened them again, she saw a man in front of her, she felt cold compresses on her forehead, that man’s hand touching her belly and, touching it, he looked for something. „Aaa, he’s probably the doctor brought here by Eva. The puls. The child’s pulse,” she mumbled and fell again asleep, hearing voices around her, but so far from her at the same time, to eventually everything became black in front of her eyes, in front of her mind’s eye too, to later sunk completely in that world of shadows.

***

Resounded so powerfully the slap over Marianne’s face when she had been told that she has guests and, getting in the living room, she saw Eva, who neither slapped her with all the force she was capable of.

„That’s for Anne Ross,” Eva hissed through the teeth, not paying attention to Marianne’s beast eyes, who was staring at her as if being ready to kill her. But, till Marianne managed to completely come to her senses, another slap turned her head on the other side. „And this is for her child who’s at the borders between life and death now, thanks to your madness.”

„Madness? And… what I did wrong? I only defended what’s mine. And Luis is my husband, while the other is only the mistress. I have all the right in the world to claim what’s mine.”

„To claim, not to throw, in the street, a woman that has a 7-month pregnancy while outside is a heavy rain and when she doesn’t have where to go,” Mrs. Huntington’s voice was heard behind Eva, and this made Marianne wince and look over there. But she had been even more surprised to see that who was approaching her was the one she hated so much since being a little child, feeling for her the same hatred her mother and grandmother felt for Alice, for Mrs. Huntigton has been once the mistress of Marianne’s grandfather, of the lord Christopher Hall, who wanted so bad a son, but who had only daughters with his wife. That’s why, in his old age, he found a young mistress. But Life wasn’t by his side and his beloved son died before being born, and he right away turned his back on the child’s mother and, a few months later, he died because of gout.

„How did you dare to enter this house?” Marianne shouted, shaking like hell while her squeezed fists were hurting the skin of her palms because of the sharp nails that deeply entered her flesh. „Out of here! Out!” Marianne kept screaming.

Alice instead kept approaching her, despite the fact that she saw Marianne at the border of having a nervous collapse. „I’ll leave and actually very soon. But before that, I’ll warn you: stay away from Anne Ross or I swear that I’ll forget about my old promise and I’ll tell the whole world about your scariest secret, Marianne. And if that secret is found out, then you won’t only fall in the disgrace of the world, but you won’t be able to find not even a single snake hole in which to hide. Keep this in mind next time you decide to hurt someone, for… as long as I live in this world and as long as I still breathe the air of the autumn, and as long as I still have the power to step on the dusk of the road, I’ll still have a powerful weapon against you while keeping your secret with me: a shame actually, not a secret, a dirty stain on your soul.”

Marianne felt the whole world collapsing over her. She felt that everything was over, that her world was a ruin now, for with that woman back in her life, the only woman that actually knew her secret, her life, and her entire universe could break into pieces killing her if Alice Huntington had told her secret to the world.

„Let’s go, Eva!” Mrs. Huntington said. „We have nothing more to do here! I’m sure that this brainless woman understood the message I wanted to send her.” Then, Mrs. Huntington headed toward the door, so slowly trailing her legs.

Eva instead stood for a few seconds more, staring at Marianne, who kept shaking with all her body while staring, with a lost glance, at a blind spot somewhere in front of her. Eventually, seeing that there wasn’t anything else to do, Eva turned her back on her and also left the living room.

When the front door closed behind Eva, Marianne fell to the floor and, so soon, she burst into a passion of tears, laying on the floor and asking for mercy from an empty house.