„The sacrifice of a mother is beyond any limits, even beyond her soul”

„To Image?” Beth practically yelled while standing behind Ms. Huntington and staring at Brian and Eva who were sitting on the sofa. „But… Miss Stonebridge, you were who said that in Image…”

„…I suffered the most?!” Eva said and she finally looked at Beth.

Since she turned back home and they’ve decided to tell others too about their journey to her hometown, Eva stood droopingly as if she felt guilty for something.

„You are right, Beth, I said this. But yet: I still feel that I must go there.”

„Why?” Beth asked in a cross voice, being also confused.

„That’s enough, Beth. I think that’s enough. Eva is old enough to decide alone if to…” Ms. Huntington tried to calm down Beth, but she was too hot-blooded, furious, and anxious to listen to someone’s advice.

„This is insane, Miss Stonebridge, what you want to do. If you don’t think about yourself, at least think about the child you are carrying in your belly. He isn’t guilty of your foolishness!”

„Beth, that’s enough!” Stan told her in a low voice, but when Beth took a slant at him as if she was ready to rip him, he preferred to keep silent, but not because he was afraid of her, but because he knew that Beth wasn’t thinking rationally at that moment and she was interfering in someone’s life without having the right to do this. However, he didn’t know how to make the girl react.

And Stan also kept silent because he understood that he didn’t know too much about such things, even if he learned a lot while living in the street: about that someone’s life is totally his and nobody has the right to ask someone to do something against his will. But Beth didn’t know this or preferred not to know this because even if she was just a servant in Eva’s house while they grew up together, she’d been treated like an equal. That’s why she could afford to talk to Eva like this because she knew that she won’t be punished for this, in the end.

But what Stan couldn’t do, Ms. Huntington did, in the end: she forced Beth to keep silent when she scowled at her and, imperiously, she told the girl: „Elisabeth Alby, I think that you beat hell! You’ve forgotten who’s the master and who’s the servant between you two. If you can't keep silent and listen to what they have to tell us, then I’ll ask you to leave the room. You only puddle them.”

These words brained Beth and she took tiff because nobody ever told her such words before and even if she knew that she’s only a servant she’d been never called like this and neither with such a severe tone. „Ms. Huntington…” Beth murmured tearfully because she felt that she didn’t deserve to be called like this.

„I won’t say it again, Beth, and neither I’ll apologize for it even if you drown this house in tears. So, think twice before saying something else because I consider it a shamelessness of you to talk to Eva like this. Especially in front of Mister Beneath.”

„Ms. Huntington, it’s not necessary to say these words to her. Beth had been always next to me, supporting me and she has the right to…”

„No, Miss Stonebridge. Maybe it had been this way in your house, in Image, but in this house, she must respect the ranks, and even if you consider her your friend, Beth hasn’t the right to call in question your decision which I consider to be logical and right because…” but she’d been interrupted by Beth, who burst to cry and scuttled off the room.

Ms. Alice deeply breathed in, then she murmured reproachfully: „children! They never understand the truth! Come one, Stan, follow that fool child or she’ll be able to do foolishness if she’s alone.”

„Alright!” the boy said and he hurried out of the room.

„What were we talking about?” the old lady asked, after a few seconds of silence, that she took her to calm down and to chase away the upset for Beth’s shamelessness for interrupting her. „Aaa, about that I consider that your decision to visit Image is reasonable. Maybe there you’ll find that peace your heart is begging for. My question is: for how long will you be there?”

„A few days or maybe weeks. It depends on how I’ll feel there,” Eva murmured and she again bent her head, feeling a deep sadness sneaking inside her heart, from nowhere.

„And you, mister Beneath? Will you be next to her?”

„Undoubtedly. I have some business in London, but it isn’t for long. Even if I am forced to attend them personally, I can leave Image at dawn and turn back at dusk.”

„Then… Stan goes with you,” the old lady said.

Eva rose her head and looked in amazement at Ms. Huntington. „Stan? Why? I thought that Beth…”

„Beth is too impulsive and she can make more problems there than to solve them. Stan instead can be useful because he’s smart, quiet, tough-minded and, as the need arises, he will know what to do.”

„I must agree with Ms. Huntington, Eva. As long as I and Bardain will be out of the town, Stan can be with you because you can't be alone in your condition.”

Eva kept silent: she would have liked to have Beth with her, recollecting sweet memories from their childhood which weren’t just a few. But … she felt that Brian and Ms. Huntington were right: Beth was impulsive and too emotive, and… she hated Brian. She could see this in her eyes and this could be a problem for her to understand the reasons why Brian looked for her again. „Maybe you are right,” Eva murmured, „but … anyway, Ms. Alice, I want to ask you not to be that severe with Beth. She’s a good child, obedient. She’ll learn more if her teacher is a kind person than if she’s treated like a bad child and if this happens, she’ll show her character, which she has very strong.”

„No doubt about it, child. But yet, Beth must learn that in life we are accepting others' choices. And… I understand that this is for you both because growing up without a mother you didn’t have whom to ask for advice and this made you, sometimes, have bad decisions in life,” and she reproachfully looked at Brian.

The man watched her, instead, without taking his eyes from her, because he knew that he deserved those words. But yet: he was fighting to undo the mischief and he was sure that he will make it, in the end, and that he’ll be able to form a family with Eva, for the sake of their child that deserves to grow up, surrounded by love and trust.

„When do you leave?” the old lady asked.

„Tomorrow morning. I’ll come for Eva right after finishing some important things I have. One of them is an important meeting that I must attend personally. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have left her alone not even for a second.”

„Alright then, I’ll take care of Eva to be ready for the trip. Now I’ll ask you to withdraw, Mister Beneath. It’s late-night already and I think that it was enough for Eva for today. She must rest,” and the old lady stood up and at a slow step, she left the room.

Being left alone, Brian approached Eva and took her hand into his: „don’t worry! It’ll be everything just fine and Beth will soon…,” he whispered, but he stared in amazement at Eva when she burst to laugh.

Looking in the same direction as she did, he saw Moon, staring furious at him, with her eyes black as the night and that seemed somehow sparkling and it was due to the fact that entering the room, she spotted Brian sitting on the same part of the sofa where she used to spend her time. „And… where did this little… furry friend come from?” Brian joked.

„She entered when Ms. Huntington opened the door. I spotted her immediately because since I live here, I’ve started to lurk on her. As she on me, actually.”

Moon meowed as if she tried to show Brian who the boss was there. Then, she jerked on Eva’s lap, accommodating next to her belly and this movement of the cat made Brian grimace: „Little adulator!” he murmured.

Eva again laughed. „Now you’re talking like Beth.”

„Why?”

„Because she always gives Moon what for her flattery. And it isn’t for nothing because this fluffy animal that seems to be so cute and innocent is a real beast if is necessary to adulate for something tasty to eat or to stay in a better place than others do and she does it not only with those she knows.”

Seeing Eva’s hand, caressing the cat’s fur, Brian wanted to do the same, but when his hand touched Moon, she right away showed her fangs a sign that she disliked the man’s gesture. „It seems that I’m the only one whom she hates.”

„Simply… she didn’t find anything „tasty” at you,” Eva joked and they both burst to laugh.

Then, Brian watched Eva, and in his eyes sparked the thrill of love. Then, he approached her more and kissed her forehead.

That kiss took Eva by surprise and her first thought was to withdraw, but something deep inside her was telling her not to do this: she had missed those moments so much… she had dreamt about feeling him next to her once again. So, she simply allowed things to happen, in their normal rhythm, and, without fighting anymore against her own feelings, Eva hugged the man, approaching his chest more as if she was a child looking for her mother’s love. But she couldn’t enjoy this sweet moment of love alone, because Moon stared at them, wondering about why Eva stopped caressing her fur and, not to be left behind, the cat slowly started to rub her body of Eva’s till she again touched her fur and this sweet caressing made Moon fell asleep on Eva’s lap, purring her innocent story.

***

„I think that you piped your eyes enough,” Stan said this jocularly while being with Beth in Bachaco’s stable, but the girl pretended not to listen to his words. More than this, he understood that she started to cry even louder hearing him and this made even Bachaco frown at her, wondering what the hell happened to that crazy girl?!

„Mice will need some paddles to survive this deluge,” Stan murmured while grooming Bachaco’s back. Then he shook his head reproachfully: „because of her crocodile tears we’ll float too, Bachaco, not only the mice.”

A thrown corn car hit the boy’s boot and it made him stare at Beth who was piercing him with her glance. „What? Did I say something wrong? Not even the autumn rains don’t do such damage to the surroundings as your tears will do if you keep crying. I have the feeling that soon, this stable will be considered Noe’s boat for surviving.”

„Traitor!” Beth yelled at him and once again burst to cry so loud that even to boy’s ears were buzzing. „Whose side are you on, Stan?”

„Mine and of… Bachaco! Even my ears buzz because of your weeping.”

Feeling reproach in the boy’s voice, Beth finally stopped crying. But even so, from time to time, she was sadly sighing and her red eyes looked so charming and this made Stan smile, unwillingly.

„What?” he heard the girl’s question who stood up and approached him, caressing the horse’s snout. „Am I funny or something?”

„Not really.”

„Then?”

„Let’s say that you look more like a whimsy-whamsy child now who didn’t get the sweets he wanted,” but he laughed, seeing Beth’s grimaces. „It was just a joke! Don’t start again!”

„Jokes that I consider inappropriate,” she said and again frowned.

„And yet, you fully deserved this cry.”

„Why so? I did nothing wrong. I just said what I think.”

„But you forget that your feisty Miss has also the right to decide, Beth. Especially when she has next to her the man she loves.”

Beth stared at him. „She loves him?”

„Of course, she loves him. It’s necessary only to watch them two to understand this. Even if she wants to seem sure of what she does and to show him that she doesn’t need him, she still loves him and she dreams to live by his side, Beth. The only one who doesn’t see this is you and I don’t know why, but I have the feeling that you hate him because he didn't choose you. Or, am I wrong?”

No, he wasn’t mistaken saying those words because Beth was really upset with Brian: on one hand - for what he did to Eva and that she suffered a lot without him, and on the other hand she felt betrayed because she’d fallen in love with him first even if she knew that between the two can’t be a romantic story. But yet: she would have liked that Brian did not approach Eva. She named this betrayal on her part, even if Eva didn’t know that Beth was in love with Brian.

Well, if to be honest, Eva suspected that Beth liked Brian, but she also thought that she forgot him, in time. But even so, even if Beth’s feelings for Brian were something of the past, she was still guarding in her soul the resentfulness for being left apart and for being forced to watch them while they were together, seeing love in their eyes and this was reminding her about her past. However, her feelings weren’t something evil or that made her wish to hurt them: it was only her feelings with which she had to fight.

„Beth?” Stan called her name and this made her wince. „What are you thinking about? Don’t tell me that…”

„Don’t be silly, Stan. I have no feelings for Brian Beneath. I’m just … furious with him for what he did to Miss Stonebridge. Nothing more.”

„Then, I must insist: you walked too far, blaming Miss Stonebridge for being reckless for going to Image. Personally, I consider that she took the right choice.”

„Why so?”

„Because there’s no other place better than home, Beth. Especially after a long period of sufferance when your heart cried a lot and your soul writhed in agony inside.”

„And now you are talking as if you also want to turn back home,” she said with sadness.

„No, because nobody waits for me there. But… I won’t say that I wouldn’t like to see those places again… someday. However, seeing again my hometown it won’t be the same for me as it’ll be for Miss Stonebridge, because what for me is a nightmare for her maybe it’s a way to fill inside with new strength because maybe time heals, but being home means to be reborn, more if having mister Beneath with her.”

„Do you think so?”

„Yeah, I think so, and… I think you should make an apology for your words, Beth. She didn’t deserve to hear them and even if she deserves them, you can’t judge her. Not you and not me and not anybody else, not as long as she respected our decisions, our choices, and the fact that we are here today.”

Beth sighed. Then, she deeply breathed in and looked into Bachaco’s eyes who was watching her with his big, kind eyes. „Do you also think so, Bachaco? Do you also think that I was rude to Miss Stonebridge? That I was reckless?”

The horse neighed, making Stan smile: „and you said wise words. Even Bachaco agrees,” but he suddenly hiccupped, in amazement, when unexpectedly Beth hugged him, whispering: „let’s stay like this for a few moments. Only for a few moments. I need to feel some warmth.”

With the scrub in one hand and with the other hand hanging in the air, Stan was staring past the horse at a blind spot, without even breathing while Beth wrapped her arms around his body, sticking her chest to his chest and closing her eyes as if she intended to listen to his heartbeats, so fast as if it was ready to jerk from his chest and to run away.

***

The next morning to take Eva came only Bardain. Also, he told her and Ms. Huntington that Brian was forced to attend the meeting for longer, and because of this, he sent the teamster to tell Eva about his delay and to take her, deciding with Bardain to meet somewhere in the town, and from there to go to Image.

„I don’t like all these,” Beth murmured reproachfully, but seeing Stan staring at her, she kept silent, in the end.

„Alright, then, let’s go! Help me, Stan!” Eva told the boy when she got next to the carriage.

First, Stan helped Eva to get in the carriage, and later he took her luggage and headed toward the back of the carriage, leaving the door open because he saw Beth approaching to say goodbye to Eva.

„Will you miss me?” Beth managed to whisper only, barely breathing because of the tears that were threatening to fill her eyes.

„Of course, I will, Beth. Anyway: we don’t split for long. I’ll try to turn back as soon as possible. Meanwhile, listen to Ms. Huntington. She definitely doesn’t wish you ill and… stop being stubborn because I know what you can do.”

„And even so, you had decided to leave me here and to go alone to Image. I would also have liked to see it,” Beth said, feisty.

„Next time, Beth. I promise that next time we’ll go there together,” Eva said, kindly smiling. Then, she stretched her hands to the side, begging for a hug and Beth right away jumped in her arms.

They had been separated by Stan, who slowly coughed, being behind Beth and the girls understood that it was his new sign to make them understand that was getting late and this „rashness” had been rewarded by Eva with a smile while Beth feisty frowned at him and, turning her back to him without saying at least goodbye to him, she entered the house.

Ms. Huntington first shook her head reproachfully, seeing Beth’s behavior. Then, she just waved her hand toward Eva, without approaching the carriage to say goodbye to her because she knew that this was difficult for Eva too because nobody knew what she’ll find in her hometown and how she’ll be received there.

„You can go, Bardain!” she told the teamster when the door was closed and Stan was already on the coach box, next to Bardain.

The teamster only slowly bent his head and spurred the horses, trying to save some time, if they had managed to hit the pike so early because he had expected that it will take longer for Eva to get ready and to say goodbye to Ms. Huntington and the others.

While the carriage was moving away, Eva turned her head and looked through the window at the old woman’s silhouette that was seen only like a black point, somewhere far behind them. Then, she took a normal sitting position, covered her legs and half of her upper body with the blanket not to feel the cold and, sticking her head of the window, she fell prey to dreaming, watching the view seen through the window that was moving along with them, only in the opposite direction, as if nature also was hurrying up somewhere.

The road to the city center was short. Getting to the place where they should have met Brian, they found out in amazement that Brian wasn’t yet there, even if it passed more than half an hour since they had to meet each other there. So, they’ve decided to wait, but it passed another hour and Brian wasn’t yet coming.

Finally, Bardain decided that it was time to do something. So, he approached the door, slowly knocked, and then opened it, telling Eva, that was still with her eyes closed: „maybe you want to have some snack, Miss Stonebridge?! I think mister Beneath will be late. If you want something I can send Stan to buy and…”

Opening her eyes, Eva looked around, a little bit bothered by the light. „No, Bardain, it’s alright. I think I’ll take a few steps first. I feel numb and maybe later I’ll enter that coffee shop and eat a snack.”

„How you wish, Miss Stonebridge. Anyway, there’s a long way till Image and it’ll be a good idea to have a little refreshment before the journey,” and he stretched his hand and helped her to descend from the carriage. Then, he approached Stan and gave him a few pennies to go to buy something for the journey.

„Let him buy something to you eat for you too, Bardain. You two also didn’t eat anything and it’s already late afternoon. Meanwhile, I’ll enter that coffee shop,” Eva said, smiling at the two men.

Bardain slowly nodded and continued to put Stan up to the ropes about what to buy for Eva and Brian and what for them, but before giving him the money, he hesitated because he heard that Stan had been a beggar once.

Stan felt the man’s mistrust and told him coldly: „if you don’t trust me, you can go and buy for yourself. I won’t beg for anyone’s trust because maybe I’d been a beggar once, but I also have dignity and I never stole anyone’s money.”

Bardain, moved in place, bothered by the young man’s commentary and somehow being ashamed for being scolded by Stan, but he also knew that he deserved those words and he put the money in Stan’s hand, saying with confidence, but trying not to look straight into his eyes: „hurry up and don’t get lost anywhere!”

„If you say so,” the boy mumbled and hurried up toward where Bardain told him that it was a good bakery.

Meanwhile, the teamster approached the horses and checked if the harness is well tied, but he also lurked at Eva who was still next to the carriage, looking around, but the old man didn’t do this to keep an eye on her or for being interested in what she does, but because he felt anxious because he couldn’t understand why Brian wasn’t coming and also seeing that it was too quiet on the streets for that late hour when generally all over is too crowded.

Catching Bardain’s glance fixed on her, Eva sketched a smile, then she looked to her right, assuring that there wasn’t any other carriage approaching at full speed, and only then did she crosses the street, heading toward the coffee shop seen in front.

Entering the coffee shop instead, Eva had been amazed to measure noses with Anne Ross, who was sitting at one of the tables, drinking a tea, eating a croissant, and reading a novel.

The two stared at each other for a few moments. Then, Eva intended to pass by and to sit down at another table. But halfway she changed her mind and she told the waiter to bring her the same as Anne was eating at the same table at which Anne was sitting.

This amazed Anne a lot, who continued to keep an eye on Eva while she approached the table and sat down in front of her and she saw the same amazement in Eva’s eyes who was wondering how a girl like Anne, who had been once just a servant in Christine Bircham’s house could look so elegant and be well received in such well-known places as that coffee shop. But Eva’s amazement wasn’t mean, but somehow innocent.

„I see that you aren’t that amazed as I expected you’ll be, seeing me looking like this,” Anne said and ironically smiled. „This means you met Brian Beneath. Or better to say, you saw him again.”

„I won’t deny it. But what surprises me is your behavior and I mean here that I don’t understand why did you give the letter to Brian and not to Christine, whom you were serving so well,” Eva said, emphasizing each word she said while her reproachful glance was fixed on Anne’s face, trying to understand what she was thinking at that moment because she was very well remembering all the shits Anne had done to her while she was in Christine’s house.”

„Call it consciousness. Or maybe… revenge?! I can’t answer myself to this question.”

„Why so? From what I remember Christine Bircham brought you in her house, namely to have someone who’ll keep always an eye on me. But… you betrayed her, instead.”

„She betrayed me first. I just … turned back her favor.”

„By taking her lover?!”

Anne loudly laughed. „I don’t think that you have the right to say such words, Eva. And neither me. Not while we are someone’s mistresses.”

Anne’s words flailed Eva’s face, who saw herself forced to swallow her pride and she squeezed her fists so hard that her nails deeply entered into the flesh of her palms, but she said nothing instead. She just glanced at the waiter that brought her order and later she stared again at Anne.

Again alone, Eva murmured: „and yet, Anne, why did you give that letter to Brian?”

„From what I see he didn’t tell you about my past and about the events that marked my future.”

„Why do this?! Brian isn’t the kind of man to talk about others at their back. Even if he finds out something he won’t reveal it to anyone.”

„But he told you that I’m Luis Chesterman’s mistress.”

„Let’s say that he just mentioned things known by everyone in the town. More than this: it wasn’t difficult to guess, seeing your clothes, the expensive jewels, and that you are here now, Anne and I’m not saying this to offend you. I just call the things by their names, knowing very well the society in which we are living.”

„A society where servants never become masters and neither they become the wives of some rich people,” Anne whispered, sadly.

„It's the reality, Anne, as the fact that the women that had been once someone’s mistresses won’t be ever their wives and this is about us two. I’m aware of this and about my status that maybe won’t ever change.”

Anne cuddle to the back of the chair and stared at Eva, understanding that she had yet no idea that Brian was married to Sophie. She would have wanted to tell her about this, just to hurt her, but seeing Eva’s belly, she’d decided that it wasn’t fair for her baby: Anne also suffered a lot being a child to make another child also suffer. More when she also found out that… „I’m also expecting a baby,” Anne said, taking Eva by surprise.

„A child? If Christine finds out that…”

„Till Christine Bircham, I must face first Marianne Chesterman and even Luis. You are the first who knows about it.”

„Why?”

„I don’t know. Maybe because we are in the same boat or… simply because I trust you.”

„And… since when do you know?”

„About my baby? About two months already. I’m in the third month. Soon it will be spotted and I must accept it and tell others about it too.”

„But … why didn’t you tell at least Luis Chesterman about this? From what I know from Brian, he always wanted a child.”

„To punish him. Even if my revenge can be considered childish, I prefer it, because … he abused me, Eva. He raped me. So, don’t be envious of me. I had to suffer a rape to get here and I remained next to the one who stole my innocence only to survive and to… get revenge someday for what they did to me. You instead… well, you had the privilege to be loved by the man to whom you gave your body and I’m sure that he never forced you to anything.”

For the first time, Eva saw the pain in Anne’s glance and she felt sorrow for her. Better to say, in Eva’s soul the female solidarity awoke because she knew that no woman deserves to pass through such things: rape is savagery, nameless cruelty headed toward the women. „I’m sorry, Anne,” Eva whispered, eventually.

„For what? You aren’t who made me suffer and you also aren’t guilty of this. I was the only guilty for trusting Christine, even if I knew very well what kind of person she is and that she can betray me, in the end.”

„But yet… the fact that…”

„Eva!” Brian shouted, entering the coffee shop in a hurry, after seeing them together and being afraid that Anne can tell Eva about his marriage and about his secrets, because Luis could embitter her to hurt him through Eva and more because he knew that Anne, in the past, had spied on them and later was reporting to Christine.

Anne instead looked at him calmly and she sadly smiled at him as if she tried to tell him: „don’t worry, mister Beneath, your secret is safe. At least for the moment.” Then, she stood up, being ready to go. „I leave you alone. I have things to do in the town and Eva, take care of you and I hope to see you in better times.”

The two young women slowly bowed and Anne headed the door. Passing by Brian, she stopped a few seconds next to him, whispering: „I’m not getting revenge on innocent people, Mister Beneath. I’m not you,” and she left the coffee shop.

Anne’s words made Brian slowly shudder and gnash his teeth, but he saw himself forced to smile, seeing Eva watching him carefully. Approaching her, he kissed her forehead, whispering then: „what did you and Anne Ross talk about?”

„About nothing in particular… we just reminded old times. And you… did you solve the problems you had?”

„Yes. We can go now, as soon as you finish your snack, which I consider too few.”

„That’s enough for me,” Eva whispered and smiled.

„But not for me and definitely not for the baby. So, while I’ll also eat something, I’ll ask something else for you too. Waiter!”

Eva just smiled: she was still hungry, but she hadn’t dared to tell him that she ordered that few because she lacked money. What she received from Albert was about to be finished and she didn’t have any plan yet how to get more.

Outside the local instead, Anne watched them, sad: she would have liked to be her instead of Eva. She would have known how to solve Brian’s problems very soon and to become his wife because no matter how strong and how influential wasn't Sophie Anderson Bell, the church accepted, in the end, Brian’s demand for divorce, and from that afternoon Brian Beneath was a free man. But… Anne didn’t know about this… she just suspected that something new is felt in Brian’s behavior: in his movements, in his state of mind, and even in the fact that he didn’t threaten her and it was also a kind of secret floating around him while only a few people knew about his divorce.

Feeling slight envy for them, Anne sighed and left the place, walking at a slow step along the street while her hand barely touched her belly and in her mind was spinning the thought: to tell or not the tell Luis about the baby? Even if she knew that her child doesn’t deserve to suffer and to grow up without a father as she did, she was still hesitating.