《Eva's Sins》XXIII
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“I’m falling down and you are the one who transformed me into a broken Angel, but I still love you”.
Miss Davis turned back to London the day after Eva found out about Brian’s betrayal and Emily was so amazed to find out that Eva locked herself into her room and she’s refusing to have some dinner.
Preoccupied, Emily went where Christine was, in the backyard, and she asked her about what happened, but Miss Bircham just shrugged and asked to be left alone. And this was something Miss Davis hated to Christine: her indifference, so she decided to find out by herself what’s going on.
First, she asked the cooker to prepare some light meal and a tea and with the tray, in her hands, she climbed the stairs. Nobody answered at the first two knocks on the door, but at the third one, a weak answer, drowned in tears, was heard coming out of Eva’s throat: “just leave me alone. Is this so difficult?” asked Eva, but Emily didn't want to give up so she continued to knock till Eva didn’t open the door slamming it to the wall.
“I said I want to be alone. Please, just leave me alone!” and Eva’s body was again shuddered by a weep.
“What’s happening?” simply asked Emily, entering the room and leaving the tray on the table.
“Nothing important,” answered Eva, while sitting down on the bed. She was suffering so much, but she was convinced to not reveal to the world about Brian’s betrayal.
After the first time they spent together like lovers, Brian asked her not to tell Miss Davis or Miss Bircham about their affairs, but he didn’t give her much explanation, so Eva decided that this is all she needed to know for the moment and she never asked again about this.
Much later she understood what Brian’s words had meant that day and she was convinced that she did it well when she didn't tell Christine about her feelings. She was convinced to protect this blossomed love and to transform it into a beautiful rose, but she didn’t know that Christine was aware of all this and that she was just waiting for the expected news: Eva’s pregnancy.
One day, when she came back home, after meeting Brian in Central Park, she approached Christine’s office to tell her about her arrival, but she was so surprised to hear how Anna was telling Christine about the news she found out about Eva and Brian. “They secretly met in Central Park today, Miss Bircham,” said Anna. “And they didn’t do anything else? Didn’t they go elsewhere than Central Park?” asked Christine and Eva could hear that she was irritated that nothing important was happening. “No, Miss Bircham. They just had a walk for a while and then they went somewhere with Mister Beneath’s carriage, but as I was on foot I couldn’t follow them, so I don’t know where they went,” finished Anna her report and at Miss Bircham’s: “all right then, you are free to go,” Anna walked to the door.
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Hearing Anna’s footsteps approaching the door, Eva ran upstairs and closed herself into the room. She was astonished, in an unpleasant way, to find out that Anna was spying on her and then reporting everything to Miss Bircham, for some unknown reason hidden from Eva, so the girl decided to be more careful than she had been before.
She also talked to Brian about this, because she didn’t know what else to do, so this was when he decided that they should have a break and not see each other for a while, but three weeks later Eva saw him with Beatrice Evans and this broke her heart.
“This “nothing” has definitely a story,” said Emily in the end, and, approaching the bed she sat down next to Eva, taking her hands into hers. “This is somewhat related to Mister Beneath and Miss Bircham, isn’t it?” asked Emily, looking deeply into Eva’s eyes, but those eyes weren’t telling her anything at that moment, and this was because of the hatred that was living in her heart was covering the cloth of her eyes and making her a deaf and a blind person.
“No, Miss Davis. This isn't like that. I just…” and suddenly Eva lost consciousness and she didn't come back to her senses till the doctor didn't see her.
“She’s expecting a baby,” the doctor told Emily and the doctor’s answer made Emily shudder. “She’s about 6 weeks, I think, but because she’s so skinny it wasn’t visible and others could think that her discomfort is caused by malnutrition and stress”.
“Don’t tell anyone about this,” ordered Emily and the doctor just nodded. “If someone asks what’s happening, just tell them she lost consciousness because of stress”.
“I’ll do it this way, Miss Davis,” the doctor said, and, seeing Anna approaching them, he just walked away to not be forced to give more explanations to others too.
Watching how Anna is following the doctor as if she was a dog looking for the prey, Emily understood that Anna was doing this at Christine’s command and for the first time, Emily was happy that Christine wasn’t home at that moment. So, she decided to keep silent, at least till she would decide what to do with the girl, and, approaching the bed, she looked at the sleeping Eva for a long time.
It was already dusk when Emily finally reacted. She stood all day next to the window and looking in the distance, she was trying to find an answer, but nothing came through her mind, so it made her be more anxious than before.
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At 5 o’clock Anna told them that the dinner was ready, but Emily asked her instead to bring something in the room, for Eva and for her, and Anna couldn’t listen to her orders.
Eva tried to be rebellious, but Emily forced her to eat in the end, telling her that if she is a good girl, then she will help her to solve her problems, but Emily didn’t tell Eva how she will do that and she also didn’t tell Eva about the baby. She didn’t want to see how Eva makes vain illusions and, being vulnerable emotionally, she could tell Christine about her pregnancy and this was something that Miss Davis wanted to hide from everyone.
Emily also understood that she is working right now against the woman that raised her and gave her shelter, but she didn’t care about it anymore, because something inside her was telling her she must protect this innocent creature at any cost and this drove her calm away and her sleep.
That night was a long night for Emily. She couldn't sleep and only moved a lot in her cold bedding, while in her mind old painful memories were rolling, because she was a mother too. At least she was once, for a short time, but she couldn’t forget about this.
Emily and Luis Chesterman had a baby, but it was only a 2 months pregnancy, and soon after she found out about her baby, Emily had an accident and she lost her chance to be a mother again.
She was at the theater that day, descending a narrow stair when she felt a hand touching her back, but she didn’t manage to look who was touching her, when suddenly she saw herself rolling down the stairs and when she finally hit the floor, she felt a harsh pain in her belly, forcing her to crawl while touching her baby with both hands. Emily also remembers that she saw someone descending after her, but she didn't’ see who that person was, because he walked away and she saw only his back, but she still thinks that the one who wanted her dead was a man because she saw the shoes and those were definitely a man’s shoes, but something was strange in that walk as if the shoes he was wearing were too big for him and also the away from how he was walking remembered to Emily about a woman.
But she never found out who that man was and she started to believe, in time, that her feelings about a woman hurting her that day, were wrong. “It had been produced by my imagination,” Emily tried to convince herself, but something deep inside her was telling her to keep looking for the answer, but she hadn’t the time for this, because Christine was more ambitious than ever at that time and one week after that incident, she sent Emily to Paris and she allowed her to come back only one year after when everything around was calm and no danger was lurking for Emily.
Many years later, Emily found out that Christine had always been Luis Chesterman’s lover, but she gave Emily to him only because she wanted to have new lovers too, from time to time. It was a deal that Emily never accepted, but she also had no other choice than to accept this and also Emily had been the one who suffered the most because of Chesterman’s wife - Marianne Chesterman Loran, a wealthy and influential woman, much crueler than her husband, but so blind when it was related to her husband’s affairs and she could find out about Luis and Emily only because Christine had something to do with this.
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