《Eva's Sins》V

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„Never look for revenge! The revenge will eventually look for you when the time to pay for old debts will come!”

„Brian Beneath is a stupid idiot and he’s also a stiff neck,” it has been Alfred’s first thought after Brian had left the house. And that wasn’t a random thought, for he had, in his office and in his house, the worst of his enemies: looking to get revenge on him and to steal his fortune. But he, Alfred Stonebridge, wasn’t that stupid to allow Brian to despoil him of what was his.

More than that, it wasn’t just a simple ill-feeling between them, but a real rivalry that lasted for years and that started with Baron Beneath, but which seemed to end with his son, with Brian, who seemed extremely convinced to end with Alfred’s „reign,” to kneel him down in front of that grieved lord’s grave, who, on his 40, had dreamt about getting married with a young girl of 17 only.

And that thought sketched a dumb smile on Alfred’s face, who couldn’t believe, even at that age, that 16 years ago he could win in front of Baron Beneath, such a wealthy and influent man: he, Alfred Stonebridge, an idler, the son of a not so wealthy flower farmer and who had less influence than any other in that area.

But the same thought that made him smile before also forced him to shudder when he remembered his father, because 16 years ago, due to the shame felt for his son’s deed, Halton Stonebridge fell prey to despair and, after months of long „torture,” with Baron’s men all the time chasing him, he also vanished somewhere.

Nobody saw Halton leaving, just as nobody had the slightest idea of where he can be. Not even his wife and his daughter, who he left in the lap of the gods, didn’t know which path he eventually took to escape from fate.

And this seemed suspect to many and, so soon, the town and the village have been divided into two groups, which were whispering, in a great secret, about what happened and about what was coming. But the most interesting of all that was that inside of those two big groups, smaller ones appeared, each of them supporting its own theory about what happened.

Thus, part of the locals was on Baron’s side, blaming Stonebridge’s shamelessness. For them, the father and the son were the same: shameless people that left home and town, leaving social life and family behind just to take hold of a life that wasn’t theirs, occupying someone’s place in a house of good and wealthy people. But none of them was taking even account that Helen Walker has never been Baron’s wife. But even so, the simple fact that Baron had considered her worthy of sharing the same bed and dormitory with him made her untouchable to others.

The second part of the locals was still undecided. They preferred not to take anybody’s side and they found it even more interesting just to listen to the others’gossip, to dissect those gossip in smaller parts, forming, in great secret, their own theory of the story. Also, the sharp tongues started to say that Halton Stonebridge never left Image, but he has been killed, in great secret actually, by Baron Beneath’s men, who has decided to wash his shame at least this way. And the most interesting of all this was that nobody even intended to attack that theory. More, each of those who ever heard the story, kept silent about everything, even if they were sure or even if they found out from someone that Halton was still alive and that he just ran away.

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Baron’s death, however, finally ended that nonsense story. Then, the same tale-bearers started to blame Stonebridges again for being responsible for such a good man’s death. So, months have passed and, in great secret, Halton’s wife married her daughter to a priest, from a faraway town, trying to save at least her honor thus. Then, soon after that marriage, she moved into her daughter’s house to take care of her grandson that was about to be born.

Thus, the storm around Stonebridges and Beneathes calmed down eventually. But even so, there were still those who were remembering that tragic ended story.

Alfred even remembered that he did not just find out about what happened in Image after he ran, but also that he saw his father, one year later, in London. It’s also right that he saw him only from far away. But even so, they preferred to watch each other in silence, from the distance, without any of them having at least the slightest desire to explain to the other one about the made choice. Then, they just simply walked along, after a few minutes of watching the other one with a glacial glance. Then, Alfred found out, much later after their meeting, through mutual acquaintances, that Halton married for the second time, to an extremely wealthy widow, months only after he left Image, leaving his wife and his daughter there. And, once he became rich and influential, he hadn’t the minimum desire to remember his former life or to think, even for a second only, about returning to that village. Thus, father and son demonstrated that they were so similar: through the fact that they had preferred to live their own life in good conditions and not to care about others, even if those others had the same blood flowing through their veins.

And not only Alfred didn’t blame ever his father for his choice. He did the same when he chose Helen, on a beautiful Sunday morning in May, after entering the church to listen to God’s words, at his mother’s insistence.

He has been brought by force to the church that morning because the poor woman didn’t know what else to do to him, for she often saw her son’s debauchee behavior, who wasn’t bothering at all to spent the night in any woman’s bed, who was giving him the opportunity to spend the night there, and nor he was losing any chance to admire the rounded hips of any woman that was swaying her body in front of him.

Actually, the first time she heard such gossip, she didn’t believe it. Then, after she convinced herself with her own eyes that it was a true fact, she talked to her husband about this, hoping that he’ll talk to his son and he will try to bring their son to his senses. But seeing that her husband didn’t trouble his head about that, she had decided to take a strong hold on the reins of that mad carriage that was taking her son on the path toward perdition and, holding them tightly, to rein in those savage horses from her son’s soul. That’s why she dragged him to the church: to force him to at least listen to the good words of God, to make him think about his sins, and to return to a good life.

And Alfred accepted to spend the Sunday mornings at the church just not to listen to her eternal speech about his lost life each time she was seeing him, but even if he thought that he’ll be bored while listening to an old man’s song sang into his beard and that he’ll bitterly regret deciding to be a good son, Alfred found those visits to the church more interesting than he thought at first. And this was just because he saw that Sunday, right after entering the church, an Angel: Helen.

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Helen was really an angel: blond hair, long and curled; blue eyes; red lips and cheeks like two blossomed poppies. And she wasn’t just beautiful like an angel, and smart, but she had also a divine voice that was driving crazy all those who were listening to her singing in the church’s choir.

And that day has been important not only for Alfred, but also for Helen, for she also saw him in the church and she found him really handsome. But both preferred to wait and not to give themselves in front of the other about their feelings. Till one day when Alfred summoned up his courage and approached her, right in the middle of the street when she was heading toward the library with her servant. And Alfred approached her in an extremely smart way, not to make her suspect him, making their meeting seem a simple „coincidence.”

„Good morning, Miss Walker,” Alfred deliberately stuttered, trying to avoid her insistent glance. But that „clumsiness” was a well-pretended one, to seem a „good boy,” and he knew very well that that trick was always working in his favor.

But that meeting had also a different meaning, besides being pleasing by Helen: he also knew well, as everybody in town actually, that Lyre Walker was one of the most influential and richest people in the area, and the one who could get to be his son-in-law would have definitely struck it lucky.

That’s why Alfred had decided to throw the great cast and approach Helen, for he was in his 30 at that time and he could have tried for one of Lyre’s elder daughters, but they were already married and with his cheap tricks, Alfred could only deceive Helen, who was still enough naive to believe his promises.

And he didn’t fail at all by choosing her as his prey, for Helen fell for him right from that day. And she fell that day because Alfred has been cautious and he has been well prepared before laying that trap: for many days before that meeting, he asked others about how could he approach her, where she lives, what hobbies she has and, eventually, when he knew almost everything that one could find out about another person from others, he showed up in front of her. And he wasn’t only self-confident, but he also knew that the path toward Helen’s heart was free, that she had a good heart, with a lot of sun and warmth in her soul. But that trust wasn’t something natural for Alfred, for it was the result of a good experience he got in years after he had entered a lot of boudoirs and beds of so well-known ladies of the „high society,” but who, in many of the cases, weren’t more than just courtesans, with a lot of lovers, but still enough rich to allow themselves the luxury of having the love of a loiterer like Alfred, who hadn’t money to spend on them, but who had enough desire and bodily warmth to share with them. And this seemed enough for them to widely open the mouth of their bags with money and to maintain him, for Alfred had never worked in his life, but he still loved the luxury and having a good life.

Yet, even if Alfred seemed to have good intentions with Helen and to change, not the same Lyre Walker thought when he found out about the new beau of his daughter. So, he first talked to Helen. But seeing that she was blind and deaf, he had decided to see the „beau” too.

And their meeting has been so quick and so random, at one of the well-known places in town, extremely frequented by those wealthy guys who weren’t coming to that place just to play poker, but also to meet new people and to look for new partnerships while that place for Alfred, who had no money or richness, but a lot of dreams about it, it was a place where he could be only due to the money received from his mistresses.

„Just leave Helen alone,” Lyre hissed him through his teeth when he passed by behind Alfred. „Otherwise, you’ll find out what I’m capable of.”

Alfred said nothing instead: he just grinned, inside him, and kept playing, for he had a good hand that night and the fortune seemed to be on his side too.

„It’s probably Helen who brings me luck,” he said, but he understood, very soon actually, that it wasn’t like it seemed to be, for Lyre Walker kept faith with Alfred and, because Alfred continued to hover around Helen, one night, when he was turning back home completely drunk, he has been stabbed.

However, he was lucky, for someone found him eventually, two hours later when that person was heading home and found him agonizing, and because Alfred was losing a lot of blood, that good man had decided to help him and carried him on his back to the Stonebridges’house. But, even if Alfred tried later to find out who helped him that night, he could never find out the name of that person.

Yet, even if that stab was meant to keep Alfred away from Helen, he became even more ambitious than before. That’s why, shortly after that unfortunate event, when he was enough well to stand for himself and more moved by a strange desire and whinge finding out about Helen’s marriage with Baron Beneath, Alfred decided to get revenge. And not only to take revenge on Lyre Walker, but also to finally reach that ambitious goal of being part of that high society that many were boasting about it, but that was only a dream for him.

That’s why, a few days only after he had found out about Helen’s marriage with that old fox, but rich enough to satisfy all the requests of that old Walker, and only two days before the wedding, Alfred managed to sneak into the house and to enter her room. But even if many years passed already, Alfred still couldn’t remember how could he managed to climb that wall, built with sharp and cold stones, and how could managed to enter Helen’s room and not Lyre’s, for he had absolutely no idea about what room whose was.

He only remembered that he found her that day preparing for sleep and that her blue eyes were red from so much crying, looking like being the eyes of a bunny and not of a pretty girl. But they became again of a bright blue, seeing Alfred entering her room, through the window.

„Baby bloom,” Helen desperately whispered as if St. Peter himself had been sent there by God to save her. „I thought that you forgot me for what my father did to you,” Helen kept crying, with well-felt preoccupation in her voice. „Are you alright now?”

The girl’s enthusiasm confused Alfred instead. More, he didn’t know how he should have acted at that moment, finding out that such an innocent being like Helen had been so worried about him and that she had cried a lot, thinking that something bad happened to him and that the thought that she could lose him forever have mortified her to death.

Yet, he quickly came to his senses and whispered: „we must hurry. If they find us here, together, everything will be ended,” and Alfred tried to seem as convincer as possible, in case a shade of doubt was still left in her soul.

Helen, however, was more convinced than ever to follow him, no matter the consequences. And that has probably been the worst decision ever made by her. Still, she hadn’t wherefrom to know that: she was so in love and her love made her be deaf and blind. But she was about to find out the cruel truth of life, and so soon.

Till to find out that truth, they went first to Yorkshire, then to Birmingham, to finally stop in London. But much to her chagrin, Alfred had never mentioned about marriage. It was more than fine for him to live like that, sinfully, but not for her: a sweet being, a docile daughter who had been taught by the church not to fall into sin, to always be kind, to love God, but who, because of her own stupidity, became someone’s mistress.

Then, another blow was felt over her face, for soon after she found out that she was pregnant, she „caught” Alfred so quietly walking by the arm of some „interesting lady.” And, even if Helen never visited dingy places, she knew well what kind of „lady” was that who was holding her husband’s arm, for Helen had always considered Alfred as being her husband, even if the church never blessed them with that saint bond.

And she had cried a lot finding out about that betrayal, she had reproached Alfred about this, but instead of gaining his faithfulness, she received other blows and cold feelings from him, for the answer to her tears was always the same: „convince your father to accept us and only after that I’ll fulfill my role as your man and we’ll get married,” but Helen also knew well that Lyre won’t ever accept their marriage and that he had probably considered her dead right from the moment she had stepped out of his house. That’s why she eventually decided to suffer in silence: not for her, but for the child she was expecting.

And to feed herself, for Alfred never took care to give her money, Helen started to teach the boys and the girls from the middle-class piano lessons, and even if she didn’t earn much, it was enough for her to buy bread, butter, and milk in the morning, some snacks on the afternoon, and a good meal in the evening. And with the remaining money, she bought cloth and, for being so skilled at handcrafting, she sewed her baby’s clothes with her hand. And, for he didn’t know if she has a boy or a girl, Helen sewed everything in white, hoping that that color will awake in her baby’s soul only innocent feelings. But deep inside her, Helen always wished to have a girl and God endured her supplications.

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning when she gave birth to Eva, and only the owner of that boarding house has been next to Helen, for she started to live in that house after Alfred’s abandonment. The woman, of about 40 at that time, had a big soul and commiserate with Helen, and not only for being a good woman but also for the fact that she lived something similar in her youth age when, against her will, she became the mistress of an old lord. She also gave birth to a boy then, but that boy was born dead, and, soon after that, the old lord simply decided that she was unworthy to live by his side and got rid of her, for the simple fact that she didn’t keep her promise to born him a healthy son.

To survive, Alice Huntington, for this was the name of the owner that helped Helen, bought a small boarding house with the money received from her ex-lover, and started to rent the rooms. Yet, even if the separation from the lord released her somehow from that burden of being someone’s mistress, she never forgot this. That’s why, as long as Helen lived in her house, she has always heard Alice saying: „never be someone’s mistress, my dear. It’s the most horrible thing that can happen to a woman. Better marry a beggar, for he at least will respect you more, I’m sure, even if he can’t offer you that much.”

And Alice was right saying this. And Helen understood the meaning of those words only after Alfred’s betrayal, for if she had listened to those words before, she would have simply laughed and she wouldn’t have ever believed them, for she had always thought that she was more than capable to make someone fall in love with her, to make a man madly love her, and to marry her, not to be someone’s mistress to be loved. But she has been so wrong, for she became the mistress and not Alfred’s wife. Yet, Helen was aware that it was only her fault for believing sweet words, and, after listening to Alice saying those words, Helen was saying: „I know this. Now I know it very well. But yet, I’ve been so blind and so in love when I’ve trampled under my feet my father’s wish.”

But Helen wasn’t also regretting that she escaped with Alfred, for a simple reason, that when she found out that Lyre wanted to marry her, unwillingly, with Beneath, the sky collapsed over her. And this happened because the first time when she heard about Baron Beneath and about marriage, she thought that her father and Baron talked about her marriage with Brian, but, knowing him too young to be married and also because she was much older than he was, she understood very soon that the one meant to be her husband was Baron and not Brian, and this made her shudder from top to toe.

„To marry an ancient?” Helen yelled at her father, finding out about Baron, and the empty room powerfully resounded. „I better die!” But now, when she was in a tight corner, she would have liked to turn back time and do things differently. But it was too late already.

And it wasn’t only too late to turn back time, but it was also too late for her, for she felt that her time will reach an end soon, when, after 40 hours of labor, 40 hours when her body simply broke inside, the thread of her life was slowly exiting her body, leaving her powerless and with no desire to live, inside. But even so, she had decided not to hate Alfred, for he blessed her with such a miracle like her baby was, and this was really surprising.

„She’s like an Angel fallen from the sky,” the young mother whispered when she saw her baby girl’s face, for the first time. „Eva. I name her Eva, my little princess.”

And Eva wasn’t a random name, but it was the name of the main character of her favorite novel, „A lost Paradise,” and, as her favorite character, Eva, who managed to escape poverty by marrying a young, wealthy man, Helen hoped that her girl will have the same future.

But the young mother didn’t live enough to see her baby girl’s future: a few hours later, after she gave birth, she passed away.

Alfred, however, showed up only two weeks later after Helen’s death, for the letter, sent by Alice, found him on a „business trip,” as he used to call his love affairs, and after he got the letter sent by Alice, but written by Helen, he hesitated at first if to open it or not. Eventually, he decided to meet Helen, as she was asking him to do, in the letter, and see what was going on.

But, being inattentive, he didn’t look at the address and, instead of going to the boarding house, he went to the room that he and Helen had rented the first time they got to London. There, however, he found out, in amazement, that Helen left that place about 7 months ago. „And... where did she go?” he wondered. „I don’t think she turned back to Lyre’s house. If so, it means that I still have a chance to succeed,” he said, grinning with pleasure. Yet, his great desire turned to ashes, when he looked at the back of the letter and read the address: it was the address of a boarding house and not of Lyre Walker. But he had been even more amazed when, getting with Alice, he found, instead of Helen, a little girl crying.

„She’s your daughter. Her name is Eva,” Alice mumbled, unpleasantly surprised to see him, for he looked exactly as she had imagined him: churl, jaunty, false, even if as beautiful as an Adonis. „I hope that you still have some heart beating in your chest and you’ll take the girl with you to raise her as your daughter, for her mother died, bringing her into this world. Now, your mission is to take care of her.”

But what Alice never took into account has been how he’ll take care of that child: he, a dangler stag, full of debts, with a lot of ambitions, but without enough financial resources to reach the goals he had in that life. Yet, even if he wasn’t able to take care well at least of himself, Alfred seemed to be forced to take care of another soul, for, along with the baby, he got another letter, written by Helen as she lay dying:

„March 7, 1883, London,

Dear Alfred, I’m writing this letter, knowing that you’re the only person to who I can entrust our daughter's care. At least I hope you’ll have the desire to take care of our baby girl. And, before denying to take her with you, think that in her veins flows your blood.

And... I know you never loved me and that you approached me only because you considered me an excellent option, in your opinion, and maybe having a baby with me wasn’t in your plans. Yet, this child has no fault for our bad choices in life. Her innocence is something we owe her and we are also responsible for bringing her into this world. That’s why one of us must take care of her and that one must be you, Alfred.

I don’t blame you for not loving me, for probably I didn’t love you either. Or maybe I loved you, till the moment I understood that your love was for others too. Now instead, I feel only a huge hole in my soul, left there by your abandonment, a hole that I’m filling with maternal love, each time I see Eva’s face and hear her babble. And, I also feel sadness, thinking that I won’t see her growing up, that I won’t ever see her becoming a beautiful swan from a small, innocent gosling, that I won’t hear her calling me „mother.” But still, it comforts me the idea that my death hadn’t been in vain and that I left this beautiful soul behind me, before stepping onto the path toward nothingness. And the privileges that life denies to me, you’ll have it: seeing her growing up, becoming a woman, hearing her telling you „father.” That’s why I beg you, don’t disappoint me at least in this and take care of her. Take care of our baby, at least in the name of the past, when we’ve been once lovers, sharing the same destiny. Your eternal former love,

Helen Walker.”

But even if she wrote a lot in that letter, Helen didn’t write anything about Alfred: neither that she missed him nor that she was still loving him, and this hurt him, somehow. Then, when that transitory upset about being abandoned by someone who once loved him passed, Alfred thought for a long time about what he should do. And he finally decided: he’ll grow up the girl. But he didn’t decide like that due to a sudden paternal love, but because he was afraid that Helen could have watched him from the Heavens and, seeing that he didn’t fulfill her last wish and that he abandoned the girl, she will manage to turn fate against him, forever.

Thus, realizing that he was unable to take care of a newborn, Alfred decided that it was time to settle down. So, knowing someone that was more than eager to get married, the very next day he officialized the marriage in the church. But what Alfred didn’t know or what he had unwillingly preferred to ignore has been that his new wife wasn’t eager at all to be a mother. She only pretended to be interested in the girl to reach her goal, and when she was already his wife, she preferred to stick to her business.

Yet, she kept the girl, considering her something to brag about, for having Eva in her house, was telling the world about her great heart, for, you know, not everybody is that good to accept her husband’s kid, a child he had with another woman.

Thus, Eva found a house next to that woman and her father, but she never felt that she had a mother. Actually, she had a lot of mothers, step-mothers, that surrounded her with material things, but never with love. So, Eva grew up hungry for feelings, for caresses, with the big desire in her chest to be someone’s special person, to feel that God hasn’t forgotten her and that He has been always by her side.

And that „sweet agony” lasted for five years, when she received another blow from life: Alfred became a widower, for the second time and, due to the debts he couldn’t handle to pay, he had decided to turn back to Image.

But they found in that unknown village for Eva, a house almost ruined, a house that cost Alfred a lot of money to repair, and the rest of the money he got as an inheritance from his last dead wife, he used to turn back to life his father’s plantation of jasmine flowers.

Thus, he spent a far well part of the money he had from his wife, while the second part has been spent, as usual, at poker, and only a small part of that amount he spent on Eva, to hire a governess for her and to pay for the girl’s needs.

Eva, however, didn’t need much: only with having something to eat on the table, a few dresses to wear, a shelter above her head was enough for her. But what was enough for the girl, seemed not to be enough for her father, who was always surrounded by that black, mad aura of gambling, where he was always increasing his debts, becoming more and more avid, and also the debts forced him to spend the nights in the bed of each wealthy enough woman, capable to pay for him, and this new „hobby” was dragging him more and more in that devilish abyss called addiction.

But Alfred Stonebridge’s return was something Brian never considered. So, a few days only, after he had turned back to Image, Alfred received a letter, with no name on it. Yet, inside the envelope, he found a few lines written in a hurry on a white sheet: „I keep my eyes on you, Alfred Stonebridge and I’ll make you pay for everything you’ve done.”

Even so, even if the sender didn’t write his name on that envelope, Alfred knew very well who that person might be and what the written lines meant: a new war, whose start he felt so well inside his chest. But he felt that deep bite of the rivalry’s blade only years after when Brian entered his home and his office, asking him to pay for the old bills.

But Alfred wasn’t ready to lose in front of Brian or to give up. He decided that he better dies than allow his enemy to kneel him down. That’s why he went to London and signed the pact with the „Red Ants,” a pact that had written black on white Eva’s sentence: that her father gave up on her and that he sold her to others.

Actually, the proposal of „getting rid” of Eva, came from the „Red Ants” part, and Alfred thought at first that it was unfair to the girl. Yet, when he lost in front of Brian that poker game and Brian declared himself the owner of everything that belonged to Alfred, threatening him even with his own daughter, Alfred decided to give Brian at least a coup de grace and not allow him ever enjoy Eva’s youth.

„Eva won’t ever be your mistress, Beneath,” Alfred said, watching through that dusty window, that seemed specially left unclean to remind him about his vainness. And he saw, through that dusty window, Brian’s carriage leaving the property in a hurry. „She can be of everybody, but never yours, Brian Beneath. I won’t ever allow her to belong to you.”

Life instead seemed to have other plans: both for Alfred and Brian while Eva was standing like a shadow, between them.

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